ilikethemoonv

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Artist: ototoya

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Sometimes I sit down and realise how little we actually know about the clones in Canon and how much we just made up and decided was cannon.

Like the clone have never actually spoke Mando'a, Fives and Echo aren't really twins, Torrent never officially adopted Ahsoka into their aliit, Kote isn't really Cody's name, we know next to nothing about Fox and the Corries. I mean there isn't even a command batch, we don't actually know if Ponds, Cody, Wolffe, Bly and Fox were batchers that adopted Rex on Komino to save him from the long necks and Alpha-17 just had to live with it.

It's wild how much of what most people consider cannon was made up by fans, and it's amazing.

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Rex: I sleep with a blaster under my pillow.

Anakin: I sleep with my lightsaber.

Obi Wan: Both of you are pathetic.

Anakin: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Obi Wan: Cody.

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I've been having a codywan au running around my brain the last few days and I thought I'd share.

Let's imagine that Palpatine calculates his plan a bit differently and starts the Clone Wars about ten years earlier, just after the Naboo invasion. You end up with a young grieving Obi-Wan attempting to run a battalion and raise a precocious child at the same time.

Enter the 212th's competent, attractive Commander who is the only thing making Obi-Wan's life easier at the moment. Cody is a bit horrified at having a nine year old on their battle ship, but he does his best to help Obi-Wan create some structure and safety in Anakin's life. All of the clones enjoy having the little rascal around and are happy to watch Anakin while Cody and Obi-Wan do their evening paperwork. (If those paperwork sessions eventually become more like paperwork dates, well, no one's the wiser.) Anakin gets some sense of what healthy non-attached relationships look like through Cody and Obi-Wan's fumbling romance, so he doesn't end up eloping later in life. He's also relatively isolated from Palpatine's influence due to being stuck with Obi-Wan on the frontlines.

I'm sure that Anakin gets in several arguments with Obi-Wan and Cody about how useful he could be on the battlefield during the war if they just let him participate. I really enjoy the idea of Anakin yelling "You can't tell me what to do! You're not my dad! I've never had a dad!" at Cody.

Cody scratches the back of his neck and awkwardly says, "I don't have a dad either. Or a mom." And Anakin feels so bad that the clones didn't have a mom that he starts listening to Cody and Obi-Wan more often.

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Love the idea that in a better life when the Clone Wars end, commander Cody gets both a promotion and married shortly after. So next time someone asks for ‘General Kenobi’ Cody proudly walks in like “that would be me!”

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How did Obi-Wan not notice the thing with R2D2?? And what if he did?

Obi-Wan: We need to talk about your issues with attachment. Anakin: ::panicking, thinking Obi-Wan's found out about his marriage:: You had a relationship with Satine Kryze! Obi-Wan: … And Ki-Adi-Mundi is married. Jedi can have relationships, Anakin. We've talked about this. Anakin: … I think I would have remembered that.

[Many many past conversations: Obi-Wan: ::lecturing:: Attachment… the code… meditation. Anakin: ::busy tinkering:: Yes, yes, master. Whatever you say, master. Obi-Wan: This is fine. This absolutely will not come back to bite me in the ass later.]

Obi-Wan: Regardless, we need to talk about your attachment issues. Anakin: What issues? You just *said* marriage is okay. Obi-Wan: ::derailed:: What's that about marriage? Anakin: This isn't about me and Padme being married? Obi-Wan: … Obi-Wan: No. Anakin: This is about what I did when my mom died then, isn't it? Obi-Wan: … Anakin: ::getting defensive:: They deserved it! Tuskens are animals. Obi-Wan: ::rubbing his nose:: Anakin. Stop guessing. You're literally making this worse with every word out of your mouth. There happens to be a Tusken Jedi. You've *met* him. Anakin:: ::sheepish:: Oh. So, um, what's this about then? ::finally listening for the first time in the past three years:: Obi-Wan: I came here to talk to you about the salvage operation you ran to rescue R2D2. Anakin: ::puzzled:: Master? You ordered me to go on that mission. Obi-Wan: ::pinching his nose:: Anakin, you do realize that the mission would have been completely unnecessary had you just wiped the droid as per procedure? Anakin: But R2's my buddy. I wouldn't do that to him. Obi-Wan: You got all but two of the men who went with you killed in an attempt to rescue a droid! Anakin: So? I would have done the same for Padme. Or Ahsoka, Obi-Wan: … Obi-Wan: You see no issue in trading sentient lives for an inanimate object. That, Anakin is the very definition of attachment and why you either see a mind healer or go to Jedi jail. Anakin: What? You can't make me see a mind healer! Obi-Wan: You're right. Jedi Jail it is. Anakin: Noooo! I'm gonna tell my good friend the Chancellor on you! Obi-Wan: ::fed-up with everything and feeling both sassy and sarcastic:: Oh, and what's he going to do, order the clones to turn on us and massacre all the Jedi right down to the initiates in the creche? The Force: ::shouting:: YES!!! Obi-Wan:: ::facepalm:: That absolutely came back and bit me in the ass.

Later: Cody: You have a Jedi jail? Obi-Wan: No. Cody: Sir? Obi-Wan: Seemed like a safe bet. ::bitter: He obviously ignored everything else I tried to teach him. Cody: Jedi can marry? Obi-Wan: Yes. Cody: Jedi. As in you. Obi-Wan: As in... Cody: ::suddenly two inches closer:: Obi-Wan: ::squeaking:: Me? Cody: ::smoulders:: Obi-Wan: After the war. Chain of command. Would be inappropriate. Because reasons. Cody: I see.

Two days later: Fox: ::eyeing the assortment of munitions Cody's just laid on his desk, including, but not limited to, slug throwers, thermal detonators, a handful of droid poppers and a rotary cannon:: So you say that the chancellor's a direct threat to the military command of the GAR and that I get to kill him if I agree to mute my external audio pickup and follow your orders? Cody: Yes. Is there a problem? ::looms menacingly:: Fox: ::jumps up:: No takesies backsies! Thorn! Thire! It's Lifeday and Cody's just got us all a present!

~~~

Palps gets wrekt. The Corries have the Best. Day. Ever.

Cody and Obi-Wan swear the riduurok. No one is surprised.

The mind healers ending *building* a Jedi jail just so they don't have to listen to Anakin whine any longer. (R2D2 has the option of joining Anakin. Which, no. C3PO is welcome to that. R2D2 is having none of that shit. Time to head back to his original family -- the handmaidens of Naboo. Who will let him have a little murder. As a treat.)

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Fives: General!!! Which one of us is better looking, me or Echo?

Anakin: Ummmm uh....

Echo: He's going to say me Fives.

Fives: No he's not, he'll say me

Anakin looking around trying to avoid choosing: Ummm I choose....Rex

Fives and Echo: What?!?!

Rex from the other side of the room: Pshh, like it was ever a competition

Rex is one of, if not the prettiest clone in the garrison.

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Rex, punching the door control panel: CODY IM BACK Rex, jumping up and down: IVE GOT SOME LOUD FOOTSTEPS, HUH Rex, knocking over a crate on purpose: OOPS SILLY ME Rex, letting off a couple of blaster bolts: I SURE HOPE I DONT WALK IN ON SOMETHING THAT COULD SCAR ME FOREVER Rex: Rex, just in case: *SHRIEKS* Cody: FOR FUCK'S SAKE GENERAL KENOBI ISNT HERE

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star wars as ao3 tags cus why nottt

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This is what actually happened.

Rex: Fives you're alive?? Fives: Chancellor's a sith Rex: WHAT?? Fives, loading a blaster and getting back into a speeder: Chancellor's a sith Fox, in the back of the speeder: *gang sign*

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Hondo: What we require is a diversion. I suggest Kenobi gets naked

Cody: No

Hondo: I could get naked

Cody: No!

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Mace Windu: Some jedi have grown attachments towards the clone troopers...

Obi Wan, married to Cody: *gasp* How scandalous!

Plo Koon, on the process of legally adopting the Clone Army: Preposterous!

Anakin, who fools around with the 501st like they were all children: How could that reckless, handsome jedi do that??

Yoda: For an idiot, you all take me.

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Fox, walking into the barracks looking suspiciously happy: Another day another slay *later that day* Rex: Did you see the news? Apparently someone shot the chancellor Cody: Cody: Oh he was serious

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my fav disaster trio <33 i miss them every day your honor

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Average days.

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Cody and his Jedi who happens to be the fluffiest General in the GAR