ill-put-the-kettle-on-then

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

Ooh look at that now! I came above the Hood in this list!

Does that mean I win?

Damn bro why so judgy??

Found that little thing in my camera roll from aaaaages ago (must have been saving it for a reference?) so I just had to do it with my goofers

Total time: 5hr 27 minutes 🫣

Total brush strokes: 5848

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

Excellent thinking! Borderline visionary that! I was just about to come up with it myself. Do you want a job? I need somebody to train my monkeys.

WAIT!

GROUNDBREAKING IDEA INCOMING!

We’ll need to toast the pottery creations once they are done and I have just the invention! My fusion-powered pizza oven! It turned out a tiny little bit vigorous for bread-based products but it’ll be just tickety-boo for clay!

If you play your cards right, neighbour @hatsnothoods I’ll let you have the first go with the adorable teeny reactor I installed in this thing 😁

Is there any skill or talent in life you wish you were better at? Being a good person perhaps?

I have chosen to ignore the foolish comment that ends your ‘ask’

There are not many skills, talents, abilities I cannot turn my mind or hands to. I confess, however, I am lamentably deficient in the ability to navigate the waters by physical exertion alone.

That, and the art of baking a good meringue.

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

As luck would have it my signature meringue is sweet as! Give me a little tap-di-tap on the ‘van door next time you’re down and I’ll give you a couple of hints.

Is there any skill or talent in life you wish you were better at? Being a good person perhaps?

I have chosen to ignore the foolish comment that ends your ‘ask’

There are not many skills, talents, abilities I cannot turn my mind or hands to. I confess, however, I am lamentably deficient in the ability to navigate the waters by physical exertion alone.

That, and the art of baking a good meringue.

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

You! Whatsyourname, err Bearded chap! Yes you! Get me a pen. Oh alright a tablet then. No no no I’m not writing, this is a moment of some import and so I need to dictate not faff about with writing like some normal person.

Are you ready? Right then!

THE MEMOIRS OF LANGSTROM FISCHLER, INVENTOR, VISIONARY, LIVING LEGEND.

Yes all of that. Stop interrupting.

THE DAY I BESTED THREE THUNDERBIRDS!!!

Put an exclamation in there. Maybe three. One for each of their broken little ships. Right. Onwards!

Today, I, Langstrom Fischer have conclusively proven the superiority of Langstrom Industries technology over Brains’ flimsy International Rescue toys.

And! I seized the opportunity to carry out an extensive study of his little space station which, in my expert opinion, is extremely basic. Its dangly cable thingy didn’t even have a proper winch so the carrot-topped chap who seems to live up there half-killed himself spinning around and around for no good purpose! I don’t call that “safe”, Brains. I don’t call that “efficient”. I don’t call that “visionary”.

Today is the start of a new era! Langstrom Industries is to press pause on our groundbreaking weather projects and pour all of our cash reserves into creating luxury space apartments. Because the one useful thing Thunderbird Five revealed to me is that the weather UP THERE is ALWAYS sunny.

That’ll do for now I think. Can’t give them too much too soon.

Right, Beardy - press save on that and go get me the number of the local zoo - I have a recruitment exercise to initiate.

@thunderversary-rewatch-party

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

Weeell I’ve had a think and I’ve decided I won’t be publishing all of my research (I can’t be giving everything away for free now can I?)

BUT! I can drop you normal folk a crumb of knowledge out of the kindness of my heart.

Two words:

THREE WHEELS.

Honestly despite the corporate greed that lead you here. Your actions are pretty fair, go off and slay ✨✨💅

I believe I should say thank you 🎩 💅

Is it corporate greed to only want the best for oneself? Or is it merely wise self-preservation?

I have considered becoming a… what was the word? Influencer, that’s it. On TokTik.

I do have a caravan to purchase after a certain neighbour set my previous holiday home alight. Not naming any names…

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

Greetings, van-neighbour!

I have some recommendations for you about caravans as my own perished in the same terrible incident and I have done some pretty groundbreaking research on the subject!

We could be neighbours AND caravan twins! Wouldn’t that be something?!

Honestly despite the corporate greed that lead you here. Your actions are pretty fair, go off and slay ✨✨💅

I believe I should say thank you 🎩 💅

Is it corporate greed to only want the best for oneself? Or is it merely wise self-preservation?

I have considered becoming a… what was the word? Influencer, that’s it. On TokTik.

I do have a caravan to purchase after a certain neighbour set my previous holiday home alight. Not naming any names…

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

Well tickle me with a kea feather… who’s this handsome devil??!!

Why are you afraid to ask this question of others? Don't worry, people here are a lot more cool than you think. They won't eat you.

SO... I don't think Fischler is a villain

You said a banner to let everyone know how cool Fischler is? You know... the words Fischler and cool can never go together, but the words Fischler and explosion are always together...:]

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The cheek of it. Those twitter people just don’t understand what it means to have Vision.

At least the people of tumblrdom understand!

And to reward you there will be an announcement very soon! My next world universe-changing invention is nearly ready to go!

I CAN HEAR SCOTT SCREAMING HE'S REAL

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Good morning esteemed friends!

I hadn’t actually considered going into the genetic engineering field but now you mention it… WELL, it all sounds pretty easy to me! Cut a bit off this strand of dna, splice it on to that bit, stick it in a chicken egg, incubate it under a lizard and Bob’s your Granny…

Hey, you, Wsshuhfsssmmm, I’m having another Visionary Moment! Get a pen and write this down.

Hey kid, somebody sent me one of these plushies in fan mail, would you like him?

The label called him a Hork...?

-Buddy 🪢

He's stunning!! Buuuut I think I know someone who may like him even more...

@squidsinashirt💛

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HOW DID THIS GET LEAKED??

You! Thingy! We have a mole! Sack everyone. And then sack yourself.

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BIG NEWS ALL YOU INTERNETTIANS!!

Your besties at Fischler Industries will be at the

2063 International Medical Technology Conference

this year to unveil our latest

✨✨✨Visionary Designs!✨✨✨

You there, whatever your name is, make this POP.

Make it Sparkle!

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

Well blow me sideways with a power hose!

SO AM I!!!

Perhaps we can catch up for a fancy cocktail at the little bar place by the pool sometime?

You look like a Haven Holidays regular :)

Excuse me, I think you’ll find I am in the Owner’s Club at Rockley Park in Dorset.

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Oh. Looks like Mr Negative-Pants is here. Wondered when you’d turn up!!

You’re just jealous that MY super rescue ships will be shiny and new. Everyone’s bored of yours now. These will be EXCITING! NEW! UNPREDICTABLE!

As soon as I find some minions highly qualified employees to test them then:

LIGHTNINGBIRDS ARE COMING!

Dear Thunderbird!

Do you think you would offer tours of your fabulous technology at some point?

… Fischler?! Is this you?! @ill-put-the-kettle-on-then

… I mean the answer is no either way, but if it is, it’s a hell no.

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

PFFT! I don’t need a tour of your technology! I’ve seen it all in action (and I think you’ll find beaten most of it!)

No! Fischler Industries is currently developing something much better than your so-called “Thunderbirds” and much cheaper to produce too!

The GDF are super excited about it too! Keep sending their chaps and chappesses down to have a nosey, isn’t that right @captainwaynerigby ?

Dear Thunderbird!

Do you think you would offer tours of your fabulous technology at some point?

… Fischler?! Is this you?! @ill-put-the-kettle-on-then

… I mean the answer is no either way, but if it is, it’s a hell no.

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

A bow? Oooh. I would make a lovely gift!

Just make sure it’s a yellow bow to match the branding.

Don’t think much of your speed on this “rescue”.

Not that we need it of course.

But what if we did?

SLOW.

rainy season providing the right kind of atmosphere.

(please don’t make me fly in this, pleeeeease)

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I am proud to confirm on behalf of Fischler Industries that our high altitude balloon is not only FLYING in it but has CREATED THE STORM!!!

This time, I shall solve the terrible drought problems suffered by our neighbours in central Australia - their lands will be green and fertile in lickety spit time!

rainy season providing the right kind of atmosphere.

(please don’t make me fly in this, pleeeeease)

[ill-put-the-kettle-on-then]

Well this is very exciting! I had no idea you were such a fan 🤭

Why not pop over to my new home in Fischler Industries’ ingeniously designed head office building (It’s shaped like a giant F!) one afternoon?

I’ll get whatsername to put the kettle on and we can talk Business and Technology as equals!

Having overseen the repairs to International Rescue’s fast response craft and put out a series of small egg-cookery-related fires I have had the opportunity to review my social feeds of the last 48 hours. I have been advised would like to state the following:

- I apologise for any distress or confusion caused by my unusual series of posts.

- Neither International Rescue nor Tracy Industries condones interference with wild animals or their homes and certainly does not advocate removal of their young, however adorable and cuddly they might be.

- Our medical team strongly advises that all humans should obtain an absolute minimum of 16 hours of sleep in each 98 hour period and stresses that caffeine is not an acceptable substitute.

- Our operatives are well trained and do not habitually fly supersonic aircraft while pathologically sleep deprived. Your safety is our priority.

- Tracy Industries welcomes friendly industry competition from Fischler Industries and none of our senior staff wish any form of harm to befall their enterprising CEO and await further technological developments with interest.