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i want to hurt myself when i stay up late while people in the house sleep and they get mad that i’m swearing at my video games. oh u mad, watch my wrists bleed

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President Obama offered to pay for Vice President Biden’s son’s cancer treatment after finding out Biden was considering selling his house to pay for it. That’s really kind but… holy shit. If the *Vice President* has to *sell his house* to pay for healthcare, what chance do regular Americans have? How is anyone still alive in that country?? Australia, do not do anything to creep in the direction of America’s healthcare system. Keep Medicare free. Including frikking pap smears.

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Weight loss is a process. It is not a steady decrease in weight, there are both ups and downs. The only way to see results is to stuck with it. 

thenewnewyou.tumblr.com 

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Today I shut my cat in the fridge.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  Tali loves the fridge.  I don’t know why, but every single time we open it, she bolts for it and jumps in.  She crawls into the back of the fridge and nestles int the smallest little corner she can.  Now naturally, my biggest fear has been that I’ll close the fridge without knowing she’s in there.  And of course, today I went to go grab my Brita filter to pour myself some water.  I wasn’t really watching the fridge, and I just opened and closed it really quickly to put the Brita back while I was looking somewhere else.  And then I looked around and realized that Tali had been in the kitchen, and now she was nowhere in sight.  So immediately, I throw open the fridge door, and there is is, hanging out in the back, content as can be.

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I’ve been on this website for six years. I’ve lived through hellish events such as the Mishapocalypse, Tumblr Prom and that one post which told us to call Karp ‘daddy’. I have survived six years of this god forsaken website and I am furious to announce that I’ve only just realised that notes is short for notifications

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why does cooking takes like six hours and eating like three seconds and washing dishes like seven days and seven nights

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“John is a very distinct individual and a fascinating guy and very talented. He is going to have a wonderful career.” - Harrison Ford.

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A lighter gets lighter when you light it.

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when i try to dance

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friendly reminder use your turn signal

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I walked into the kitchen at 5:30am and saw this in the sink… this isn’t my cat

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job applications just keep getting weirder…..

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Men are always talking about what’s “natural” but in nature it’s always the males of the species that have to be pretty or work really hard to get the females.

I want to see more men dressing up and wearing makeup. Dance for me. Build me a fucking house. Impress me, you mediocre fucks.

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