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Keith & Nicole's Shaky Start

Country singer Keith Urban and actress Nicole Kidman will celebrate their 18th wedding anniversary next month. They have for many years been the image of the stable, happy celebrity couple who have figured out how to balance their personal and professional lives. They both have active careers, but they shower each other with support and don't seem beleaguered by the pressures of public expectations, nor do they seem to suffer from lack of time together.

It's easy to forget that in late 2006, just four months after their wedding, they faced a turning point in their relationship when Nicole staged an intervention to get Keith to enter rehab. Those few months where he was in rehab were accompanied by a slew of tabloid stories featuring one main source - a woman from Nashville who claimed that Keith had cheated on Nicole with her during his downward spiral.

Before they became a prime example of a Hollywood relationship that actually lasts, they had to overcome what Keith called "the implosion of my fresh marriage."

2005

January 2005

Fellow Australians Nicole and Keith meet at the G'Day USA gala on January 15, 2005, in Los Angeles.

Nicole was about four years removed from her divorce from Tom Cruise. After their split, she'd also had an under-the-radar romance with Lenny Kravitz, revealing years later that they had actually been secretly engaged.

For his part, Keith had dated a veterinarian technician named Laura Sigler for about eight years after moving to Nashville in the early 90s as he tried to begin his country music career. (Rare pictures from Keith's relationship with Laura during the mid-90s were published here in the Daily Mail years later.)

Some sources report he and Laura were engaged, but it didn't last. He then dated model Niki Taylor from 2002 to 2004.

By the time he met Nicole, Keith had already been to rehab twice for substance abuse issues, with the first trip taking place in 1998. He finally got his first real taste of success in country music in 1999.

Though Nicole revealed she instantly liked Keith and gave him her phone number, he took four months to call her.

July 2005

Keith and Nicole are spotted out together, but her rep initially denies they are dating, stating that they are "just friends." 

November 2005

Though they still haven't confirmed their relationship, Keith and Nicole have been seen together many times over the previous months. They reportedly bring their parents all together in Nashville to celebrate Thanksgiving, according to the New York Daily News. Star magazine also gets pictures of them walking arm in arm, and they are seen out antiquing with their families.

Nicole is spotted with a ring on her finger that sparks engagement speculation. At the time, Urban’s rep says, “Right now it’s just a rumor.”

December 2005

Keith and Nicole are photographed walking together in Nashville on Christmas Day.

Four days later, Keith’s ex-girlfriend snipes to The Sun about Nicole and Keith, taking some shots alluding to his previous addiction issues.

An old flame of the country singer calls him a former cocaine addict with commitment problems.  “Nicole and Keith might date for a while – but it won’t last very long,” Laura Sigler tells the London newspaper the Sun, MSNBC reports. “I don’t know her, but I know him very well.” She continues, “There were a lot of lows with the drugs. I don’t have any dark past – he was probably the darkest part, but I’m on my own now, and I’m happy about that.” 

Keith’s first manager from early in his career also expresses his doubts.

Gary Shaw, Urban’s first manager, also doesn’t think Nicole has a future with the country music star.  “I’ll be very surprised if the relationship lasts,” said Shaw. “He is in it for the chase. He likes to go after what he wants and if he can’t have it, he wants it even more.” (Source)

2006

February 2006

They make their first official public appearance together when Nicole goes with Keith to the Grammys. He wins for best male country vocal performance.

May 2006

Nicole confirms she and Keith are engaged.

June 2006

Just a month after confirming their engagement, the two get married on June 25, 2006, in their native Australia.

July 2006

Fresh off their honeymoon in Bora Bora, Nicole and Keith are back in Nashville and celebrate the 4th of July watching fireworks. Pictures of them at a party at Buffalo Billiards are printed in The Tennessean.

September 2006

Nicole denies rumors that she is pregnant.

October 2006

On October 13, 2006, Nicole attends the premiere of her film "Fur" at the Rome Film Festival in Italy, without Keith.

On October 20, 2006, Keith releases a statement that he is entering rehab again, less than four months after their wedding.

Grammy-winning country singer Keith Urban has checked himself into a rehabilitation treatment center for alcohol abuse — less than four months after his marriage to actress Nicole Kidman. Urban released a statement Friday that said he entered rehab Thursday night with his wife by his side. His publicist would not give the location of the rehab center. "I deeply regret the hurt this has caused Nicole and the ones that love and support me," Urban said in the statement. Urban, who turns 39 on Oct. 26, has publicly acknowledged a former addiction to cocaine, but his publicist said Urban was currently being treated for alcohol abuse. "One can never let one's guard down on recovery, and I'm afraid that I have," the statement reads. "With the strength and unwavering support I am blessed to have from my wife, family and friends, I am determined and resolved to a positive outcome."

He will later say that Nicole staged an intervention to get him to go to rehab, flying home from overseas to ask him to get help.

"I went off the rails," Keith said. "I hadn't conceded to myself that I needed help and a new direction in my life." When Nicole learned about Keith's bender, she booked a flight back to the States and reached out to some of Keith's closest friends and allies, mostly from Nashville, and arranged an intervention. Soon enough, Keith was sitting in a room surrounded by his wife and a group of people who genuinely cared for him. "The love in that room in that moment was just right," Keith told Oprah Winfrey. "To see love in action in that way ... I'd never experienced anything like that before."

Keith had a show booked at the Mohegan Sun Casino in upstate Connecticut, but rather than plugging in and playing, he packed his bags and checked into the Betty Ford Center at Rancho Mirage, California, on October 19. (Fellow rehab-er Tommy Emmanuel said that Betty Ford was right for Keith. He believed it had a "really good, solid programme".) As Keith described it, "The night I went in, it was total surrender." His mantra — which sounded a lot like one of his lyrics — was "Let's do it and let's do it right this time." Keith even left behind his guitar, as he had done during his time at another rehab centre, Cumberland Heights. It was a massive sacrifice for such an obsessed musician. But part of his rehab was the need to discover who he was away from music, which had defined him pretty much all his life. As Keith would tell a reporter, "I had to find out, 'What am I doing and why do I do it?"' (Source)

His trip to rehab is big news, and while more careful publications like People approach the topic with somber tones, other tabloid stories will start to ramp up, beginning with claims about Keith's behavior at a Nashville bar in October while Nicole was away.

According to one report:

Country crooner Keith Urban is in rehab battling his demons, and one of them appears to be named Amanda Wyatt. Life & Style quotes two witnesses who watched Urban drunkenly hook up with the model on Oct. 6 at a bar in Nashville.  Says an unnamed witness: “I watched them kiss for 20 minutes straight.” Adds another: “It was almost like, ‘Get a room!’ … I don’t think they knew what they were doing, they were so out of it.” (Chicago Tribune) 

November 2006

Nicole is seen visiting Keith at the rehabiliation facillty.

December 2006

At the end of December, Amanda Wyatt, the subject of that Life & Style story, gives an in-depth interview and claims Keith cheated on Nicole with her during their engagement. The link provides a much longer story, but here are some excerpts according to that article:

"I feel sorry for Nicole. Keith cheated on her repeatedly with me, right up to just before they got married,'' Wyatt says. "He's done it once, and he'll probably do it again. "I know him as well as anyone, and while he can be charming and loving, he is also someone who is constantly fighting his demons. "I hope their marriage works - but leopards don't change their spots. Keith is a great guy who has everything, but he is never truly happy.'' "I tried not to fall in love with him, but we were together throughout the whole time he was dating Nicole and engaged to her, right through 2005 and until around May, 2006. "Looking back, maybe he came to Nashville and partied with me because he could do things with me he couldn't do with Nicole. "He has his demons. I'm sure she didn't know about his drug use but it was so obvious when he was with me. Maybe he kept it hidden from her." "Then, around May, he suddenly turned cold and stopped calling and replying to my texts. "They got married in June.'' Wyatt says she last saw Urban in October - a meeting she is reluctant to discuss. But a US magazine reported that Wyatt and Urban had been seen kissing and cuddling in a Nashville bar while Kidman was at the Rome film festival. A witness was quoted as saying: "They were all over each other kissing and touching. It was like: Get a room!'' At the time, Urban's Los Angeles publicist dismissed the story as a fabrication. But within days, the country singer had checked himself into rehab.

One note about that - the Life & Style story said witnesses saw Keith and Amanda together on October 6, and Nicole was at the Rome Film Festival October 13, so there is a discrepancy there.

Wyatt is also quoted in The New York Post on December 27, 2006.

Wyatt said Urban continued to bombard her with sexually charged text messages even as things got hotter between him and Kidman.  “He would text me when he wanted to see me. Every now and then, he would call me to see how I was doing,” she said. “I would say half the texts he sent me, from the time he was linked to Nicole to the day he got married, were sexual.”

Meanwhile, on December 28, 2006, Keith is seen with Nicole while on a break from rehab.

Keith Urban has reunited with wife Nicole Kidman in Sydney, Australia, where she spent Christmas. But lest you're wondering, he's not out of rehab just yet. In response to a query by the Associated Press, his publicist, Paul Freundlich, said in an e-mail: "Keith is on a leave in Australia to be with his family during the holidays. This is a natural occurrence at this point in his treatment. He will continue with his rehab upon his return." Urban, 39, who has had drug and alcohol problems, checked himself into a center in October, with Kidman by his side. He flew into Sydney on Tuesday, the Australian Associated Press reported. Cameras caught Kidman, also 39, and Urban holding hands as they left the United International Pictures office Wednesday. The Aussie-raised couple said nothing to the media as they walked to a car and were driven away. We could assume they were not responding to questions about a report over the Christmas weekend that Urban had an alcohol- and drug-fueled affair with a lingerie and catalog model named Amanda Wyatt, 23, right up until he married Kidman in June. The source of the story in the Daily Mail of London: Wyatt. (Source)

There is some doubt cast on Amanda's story - some articles examine Keith's tattoos in pictures of him with Amanda meant to prove their affair, and speculate that the photos were taken before Keith ever met Nicole, because of the fact that he had subsequently gotten one of them covered up.

According to the Associated Press: "An Urban spokesman says it's all fiction."

2007

January 2007

Keith completes his stint in rehab and his publicist announces that he will be going back on tour in April.

In late January, he posts a mesage to fans on his website, stating that he initially planned only to stay in rehab for 30 days but realized it would be best for him to complete a 90-day treatment.

The 39-year-old country singer, who has publicly acknowledged a former addiction to cocaine, said he decided to stay for three months because he realized that learning to abstain was only part of the process to recovery. “Learning about abstinence was one thing, but then there was all this other area of my life to start learning about, and so 30 days became 60, and 60 days became 90, and with each week that passed I found myself really learning how to surrender,” he said. “There was no big cataclysmic event that happened right before I went in,” Urban said. “It was a lot of small things that were happening in my life, a lot of small moments that were starting to accumulate that were telling me very loud and clear that I was a long way from my program of recovery, and they were making my life unmanageable.” (Source)

February 2007

According to an archived article from defunct website "The National Ledger," supposedly Wyatt apologized to Keith and Nicole via WKRN Nashville. I can't find the original story from WKRN anywhere, and no other outlets reported on this that I can locate, so I'm unsure how legit it is because this seems like it was a site for amateur writers. But if it is true, this is supposedly what she said to the TV station:

A report from WKRN of Nashville now says that Wyatt wants to apologize. Wyatt said that since her story came out, Urban's people have contacted her, and now she just wants to move on. She said, "I apologize to everybody I hurt. I'm trying to move on with my life and career at this point." Amanda Wyatt claims the tabloids approached her about running a story on her relationship with Keith Urban, not the other way around. Wyatt thought if she shared her side, it would set the record straight. Now, she said that's not what happened. A report on the TV stations website notes Wyatt's life turned upside down after the tabloid published details of her relationship with Urban. Wyatt told News 2 in an exclusive interview that most of the print about her is inaccurate. She said, "Everything out there has been fabricated and not much of it is accurate."

November 2007

A year after rehab, Keith covers People Magazine, praising Nicole for getting him through his tough time.

Last October your life seemed perfect – yet it was at that moment that you re-entered rehab. Why? I was going to lose it all. It was like, “If I don’t choose this moment to do the right thing and do something that’s going to give me life, all of the things I’m scared of losing, I’m going to lose anyway.”  I knew very well right then that this is actually going to be the best, strongest road to get me back to the two things I love, which are my home life and my career, and finding the balance in those two. I need them both…” Both you and Nicole have said it made your marriage stronger. Oh God, yeah. Some of these things happen in marriages many, many years into it, and you work through them. It’s like moving into a house, and the house burns down; we get to build a new one together.  Nicole listened to her heart and did what she felt was the right thing to do. To see that kind of love in action, that’s very moving and deeply inspiring and just makes me want to be a better man.

Keith and Nicole went on to have two daughters together in 2008 and 2010. Keith has talked about this tumultuous period in his life and their marriage several times over the years.

“I was very, very blessed to have Nic call an intervention on me. I had a tight group of friends around me for the intervention," Urban told Rolling Stone in June 2014. "I didn't give a s—t about anything except turning a corner in my life and doing whatever it took for that. And off I went.” “I caused the implosion of my fresh marriage,” he recalled to Rolling Stone in June 2016. “It survived, but it’s a miracle it did. I was spiritually awoken with her. I use the expression ‘I was born into her,’ and that’s how I feel. And for the first time in my life, I could shake off the shackles of addiction.” 

Though Keith has given Nicole much credit for getting him through that time, she has said the lesson she learned was that ultimately, it was all up to him to help himself.

Kidman told PEOPLE and Entertainment Weekly‘s editorial director that she would advise the loved ones of an addict “to get help. To put your hand up, to reach out. There is absolutely help out there. You can’t save somebody, they’ve got to save themselves.” That lesson, she explains, “is a very big thing for people like me who go, ‘I can take care of you. I can do it.’" Instead of trying to do all the work herself, Kidman realized, “At some point, you just have to say, ‘I love you and I’m here when you decide to do the work. If you don’t, then that’s it.’"

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Topics

Amy Grant & Vince Gill: Part 1 - Part 2

Trisha Yearwood & Garth Brooks: Part 1 - Part 2

Carrie/Tony/Jessica/John: Part 1 of 1

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez: Part 1 - Part 2

Keith Urban & Nicole Kidman: Part 1 of 1

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Bennifer | Act II

Breaking up with Ben Affleck in 2004 was “the biggest heartbreak of my life,” Jennifer Lopez would recall years later. “I honestly felt like I was going to die. It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn't get it right.”

She would unexpectedly have the chance to make it right in 2021, when their paths collided once again.

A lot of drama, breakups, children, and scandals would have to happen for both of them first, though, before they could get to that point.

2007

October 2007

Ben addresses the Bennifer relationship in comments that generate some “Ben says JLo was bad for his career” headlines. 

“(The relationship) was probably bad for my career. What happens is this sort of bleed-over from the tabloids across your movie work. You go to a movie, you only go once. But the tabloids and Internet are everywhere. You can really subsume the public image of somebody. I ended up in an unfortunate crosshair position where I was in a relationship and [the media] mostly lied and inflated a bunch of salacious stuff for the sake of selling magazines. And I paid a certain price for that. Then, in concert with some movies that didn’t work…” (Source)

In response to the headlines, Ben comes back to clarify:

“It not only makes me look like a petulant fool, but it surely qualifies as ungentlemanly. For the record, did she hurt my career? No.” 

This same month, Jennifer confirms rumors that she is pregnant. 

2008

February 2008

Jennifer and Marc Anthony have twins, Emme and Max.

October 2008

Jennifer and Marc renew their wedding vows.

December 2008

Just two months after the vow renewal, Us Weekly claims Marc and Jennifer are on the brink of divorce after she is seen without her wedding ring.

Rumors swirled that Lopez's marriage was on the rocks after she showed up to the premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button last week without her 8-carat diamond engagement ring, wedding band - or ever present husband, Marc Anthony (who was spotted in Las Vegas sans wedding band the weekend before). Multiple sources confirm to to Us Weekly their marriage is at a breaking point. "They both didn't wear their rings on purpose," a mutual pal of the married couple of four years (who renewed their vows in October) tells Us. "Nothing Jennifer does is without purpose." While Anthony's rep insists to Us, "They are doing great," a source tells Us deep trouble has been brewing. "He's very, very controlling of her," a close Anthony pal tells Us. "The skirts aren't as short. You don't see so much of that booty anymore." The new Us Weekly also reports that Anthony also picks out Lopez’s clothes and keeps tabs on her phone calls

Anthony hit NYC hotspots Bungalow 8 and Marquee, where he was spotted with his hand on a woman's thigh and overheard complaining about his wife to a group of women, "telling them, 'She's making me miserable,'" a source says. His club spree didn't stop there: The next night, he was photographed by TMZ.com partying sans wedding band with pal Eva Longoria Parker and Russell Crowe in Las Vegas.

The couple will later say they are not splitting up, with a source reporting to People:

"The marriage is experiencing frustrations because of the added stress of the twins but they will work things out. They love each other, and that will dictate what happens. I don't think divorce is in the picture." 

2009

January 2009

Ben and Jennifer Garner have their second child, Seraphina. 

2010

May 2010

Jennifer is asked if she would ever go see a Ben Affleck movie:

“Would I see a movie of Ben’s? Sure! Why not?” the “Back-up Plan” leading lady told the U.K. edition of Marie Claire. “I haven’t seen him or talked to him in a while – our lives went in two very different directions... “But I always wish him the best and I always thought he was a good person,” she said.

2011

July 2011

More than two-and-a-half years after the initial split rumors, Marc and Jennifer announce they are getting divorced.

“We have decided to end our marriage,” they tell PEOPLE in a joint statement. “This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters.” “It is a painful time for all involved,” the statement continues, “and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.” (Source)

Us Weekly, which was much more reputable and reliable at the time, claims that Jennifer’s mother had emailed Ben Affleck out of concern for her daughter leading up to the divorce. 

Guadalupe Lopez, the singer-actress's mother (and plus-one at the July 9 BAFTA bash with the royals in Hollywood), sought Affleck's advice on July 12, multiple sources confirm in the new Us Weekly, out Wednesday. "Guadalupe reached out to Ben over email. She wanted advice for Jennifer," reveals a source. "She always liked and trusted him. [Ben] replied back on email, wished her well and offered what he could," the source says of Affleck, 38, now happily married with two daughters to Jennifer Garner. 

Us Weekly would also quote sources who claimed that the divorce was a long time coming due to Marc’s behavior, including cheating:

"It was a very bad marriage, and Jennifer got the courage to end things," an insider says, adding, "[Marc] was a terrible husband." At issue: Anthony's raging jealousy over Lopez's career, his compulsion to control everything from her business endeavors and even her famous wardrobe, and, according to multiple sources, at least one extra-marital affair in 2009. And despite her ultra-glamourous, ultra-confident persona in the public eye, Lopez "actually has low self-esteem," one pal explains. "And Marc really played into that insecurity. That's why she put up with his abuse for such a long time." (Source)

Jennifer would later say that the marriage was never quite right. 

“When my marriage ended, it was not easy to find forgiveness. It wasn’t the dream that I had hoped for, and it would have been easier to fan the flames of resentment, disappointment and anger. But Marc is the father of my children, and that’s never going away. So I have to work to make things right. And that is, by far, the hardest work I do.” “I hung in there for seven years,” the Shades of Blue actress continued. “I knew very quickly that it wasn’t the right thing.”

August 2011

Marc denies rumors that he cheated on Jennifer in an interview with ABC News.

"It was a flight attendant, it was the pilot -- I heard it was this guy sitting next to me in a rehab in Houston. I've heard it all," Anthony told ABC News in his first interview since the announcement. "People are trying to peg it on things because it was so shocking. It was like, it must have been something…It wasn't something sensationalistic," Anthony said. "It was a realization on both our parts… It wasn't shocking. These things happen," he said.

November 2011

Following rumors about a hookup with Bradley Cooper, JLo steps out with a new man – Casper Smart, one of her backup dancers. 

2012

February 2012

Ben and Jennifer Garner have their third child, a son named Samuel. 

October 2012

Ben says in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter that he and J.Lo still exchange messages from time to time. 

"We don't have the kind of relationship where she relies on me for advice, but we do have the kind of relationship where there'll be an email saying, 'Oh, your movie looks great.' "I remember when she got American Idol. I said: 'This was really smart. Good luck.' I touch base. I respect her. I like her. She's put up with some stuff that was unfair in her life, and I'm really pleased to see her successful."

2013

January 2013

On January 13, 2013, Jennifer and boyfriend Casper Smart can be seen standing and clapping for Ben when he wins Best Director at the Golden Globes.

February 2013

At the Oscars on February 24, 2013, Ben gets flak for saying in his acceptance speech for Best Picture winner “Argo” that his marriage to Garner is “work.” 

“I wanna thank you for working on our marriage for ten Christmases. It's good. It is work, but it's the best kind of work. And there's no one I'd rather work with."

Garner later defends him:

Garner told The Telegraph that she knew that some misinterpreted Affleck's comments as a sign of marital trouble. "I had a friend call and say, 'Are you OK?'" she revealed. "I know Ben, I knew he meant it as the hugest, warmest compliment in the world," Garner explained. "I think he was saying, 'Look, what we have is really real and I value it above all and I'm in it with you and I know you are in it with me.' That's the way I took it.'" (Source)

July 2013

I’m still unsure what this means, but in 2022, on an affidavit of application for a marriage license with JLo, Ben will list the date of his split from Jennifer Garner as taking place July 16, 2013. Is this when they initially separated, even though it was not made public at the time? 

December 2013

Ben says he and Jennifer Garner fell in love on the set of "Daredevil." He was starting his relationship with Jennifer Lopez and she was married to Scott Foley at the time filming began.

“That’s where I found my wife,” he said. “We met on Pearl Harbor, which people hate, but we fell in love on Daredevil.”

2014

March 2014

When asked to choose between them, Jennifer jokes about letting both Diddy and Ben drown if she had to save one of them.

"You're on a raft in the middle of the ocean," show host Big Boy explained to the gorgeous star. "Oh, that would give me so much anxiety," interrupted Lopez, 44. "Oh, this about to give you more anxiety," Big Boy responded. "You look in the ocean, you see two people floating," the host continued. "You can only pull up one, because that's how much room you have on the raft. You look in the ocean, you see Ben Affleck and you see Diddy." Lopez, as soon as she heard Affleck's name, started laughing. After Diddy was named as the second option, she erupted into a full fit of giggles. "I'd let both those motherf--kers drown!" she yelled.

June 2014

Jennifer and Casper Smart split for the first time (there will be more times).

“Jennifer did not trust him," our source tells us. "The relationship had not been right for a while.”

October 2014

Jennifer says Ben was her first big heartbreak (even though she had been married twice before him).

“Right away when you broke up with Ben Affleck, Marc Anthony was there, like, two days later, and you were in,” recalled Shriver, referring to Lopez ending her relationship with Affleck in January and beginning her quick courtship with Anthony soon after. By June 2004 the singers were married. “Right, you’re absolutely right,” said the “American Idol” judge. “It was probably my first big heartbreak, and to have one of my best friends who I’d known for years who I actually love and did have chemistry with come into my life and say, ‘I’m here.’ What you need to know is, nobody can save you or heal you. Only you can do that for you.”

2015

February 2015

Featured on the February 2, 2015, cover of People magazine, Jennifer says she is still single after the breakup with Casper Smart the previous year.

Currently single, the hard-working star, 45, hasn’t sworn off romance for good. “I still believe in the fairy tale,” she says. “The more I work on myself, the more I give myself the opportunity to share a really deep and meaningful relationship that can give me my fairy tale and last forever.”

On February 22, 2015, Ben and Jennifer have an interaction at the Oscars, where they are both presenting different awards. It is not caught on camera but reported by witnesses.

During the 87th Annual Academy Awards, the exes had a brief, off-camera reunion during a commercial break. After Laura Poitras's Citizenfour won the award for Best Documentary Feature, Affleck walked over to Lopez, who was seated in the front row. According to ABC News, Affleck whispered something into Lopez's ear, and she playfully smacked his arm.

March 2015

Jennifer appears to be back together with Casper Smart when they are spotted kissing. 

(The news is confirmed two months later.)

June 2015

Ben and Jennifer Garner announce they are splitting up on June 30, 2015.

“After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time. This will be our only comment on this private, family matter. Thank you for understanding.”

According to a longtime friend of the actress, Affleck recently came to Garner “and told her he had not been committed to the marriage within the past few years,” her friend says. “Jen is a fighter. She would not give up unless there was a good reason.” Several sources close to Garner also say that allegations of infidelity (which Affleck vehemently denies) and other troubling behavior, including drinking and gambling, took their toll on the marriage. “She loved Ben,” says another close friend. “But there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough and take care of yourself.” (Source)

Later that summer, Ben also tries to deflect a scandal about his relationship with their nanny.

Christine Ouzounian worked as Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner's nanny for just a few months – but her relationship with Affleck quickly became something much more intimate, according to sources. Multiple sources confirm to PEOPLE that Ouzounian, 28, told friends she was having an affair with Affleck. "Christine is in love with him," says one friend of Ouzounian's. Affleck has denied having any romantic relationship with Ouzounian, with his rep denouncing a report as "complete garbage and full of lies." A source close to Affleck says he and Ouzounian had "a work relationship and a friendship. There has never been a romantic or sexual relationship."

2016

March 2016

JLo reflects on her relationship with Ben and the “genuine love” they had in an interview with People. 

“We didn’t try to have a public relationship,” says Lopez. “We just happened to be together at the birth of the tabloids, and it was like ‘Oh my God.’ It was just a lot of pressure.” When she first met the actor, “I felt like … ‘Okay, this is it,'” says the Shades of Blue star. “[But] sometimes I feel like what you think people are and how you see them when you love them is different than when they reveal later.” The duo called off their wedding just one day before the ceremony, and the American Idol star went on to marry Marc Anthony, while Affleck began dating Jennifer Garner. “I think different time different thing, who knows what could’ve happened, but there was a genuine love there,” reflects Lopez.

August 2016

Jennifer and Casper Smart break up for the final time. People reports a few months later that the reason behind the split was that Jennifer had caught him cheating on her – again.

“She kicked him out because he cheated on her and he got caught,” says the source. “It happened two years ago, and he promised he would never do it again and once he did, she was done.” Recently, the source says “he’s been doing everything he can to get back together, working on himself and posting on his Instagram saying that ‘Life is Good’ and showing off his new leg tattoo that says ‘You must embrace the darkness to see the light.’” “The truth is, he was cheating and now that it’s over he’s been begging to come back,” the source says.

2017

February 2017

Jennifer starts dating former New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. (Though it is not public at the time, she says a year later that their anniversary is in February.)

In a coincidental moment, Jennifer and Alex ran into each other in Los Angeles. While they have different recounts of what exactly went down, it started with Jennifer tapping Alex on the shoulder and ended in Alex sending her a text asking her to dinner later that night. (Source)

March 2017

People reports on March 8, 2017, that Ben and Jennifer Garner have called off their divorce for now.

“Jen has called off the divorce,” a source close to Garner tells PEOPLE in the latest issue. “She really wants to work things out with Ben. They are giving things another try.” But a source close to the couple says it was a decision they both made: “There is always a chance of reconciliation. They love each other. They also really, really love their kids, and those kids love their parents.”

The reason for the temporary divorce hold may be more obvious a week later when, on March 14, Ben announces that he has completed another stint in rehab:

“I have completed treatment for alcohol addiction; something I’ve dealt with in the past and will continue to confront,” he wrote on Facebook. “I want to live life to the fullest and be the best father I can be. I want my kids to know there is no shame in getting help when you need it, and to be a source of strength for anyone out there who needs help but is afraid to take the first step. I’m lucky to have the love of my family and friends, including my co-parent, Jen, who has supported me and cared for our kids as I’ve done the work I set out to do. This was the first of many steps being taken towards a positive recovery.”

On March 31, 2017, Alex confirms his relationship with JLo in an interview on The View.

Looks like the rumors were true after all: Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez are an item. The former professional baseball player confirmed that he’s dating J.Lo, 47, while appearing on The View Friday morning. “We’re having a great a time, she’s an amazing, amazing girl,” said Rodriguez, 41. “One of the smartest human beings I’ve ever met, and also an incredible mother.”

April 2017

Despite the report a month earlier that they were trying to reconcile, Ben and Jennifer Garner finally file for divorce on April 13, 2017. The final split is amicable with them filing together:

Both Jen and Ben filed pro per - without a lawyer. Her petition and his response mirror each other completely. The petition and response were filed together, which means it was coordinated.

July 2017

Ben’s relationship with Saturday Night Live producer Lindsay Shookus is made public. People Magazine quotes sources who allege that the two had an affair during his marriage to Jennifer Garner, when Lindsay was also married.

The two started having an affair in 2013, two years before Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced their separation, according to multiple sources. Shookus was also still with her husband Kevin Miller, a fellow Saturday Night Live producer, at the time. The two split a few years later. Affleck and Shookus “full-on had an affair. They would fly back and forth, but he would mostly visit her in New York,” a source tells PEOPLE. “They didn’t hide … They would use the Mandarin Oriental [hotel]. They were regulars.” Another source echoes the first, adding, “Both of them were married at the time. They were having secret rendezvous every time he came in to New York City and other places, too. Both of them were cheating on their spouses so they were very careful about it. Jen and [Shookus’] husband both found out about it around the same time” a few years later.

October 2017

In full celebrity couple mode now, J-Rod covers Vanity Fair together with their couple name as the headline.

“I understand him in a way that I don’t think anyone else could, and he understands me in a way that no one else could ever,” she says. “In his 20s, he came into big success with the biggest baseball contract [at the time]. I had a No. 1 movie and a No. 1 album and made history. We both had ups and downs and challenges in our 30s, and by our 40s we’d both been through so much. And more importantly than anything, we had both done a lot of work on ourselves.”

2018

August 2018

Ben has apparently recently broken up with Lindsay Shookus, because he is seen out and about in mid-August with 22-year-old Playboy model Shauna Sexton. This slew of sightings and paparazzi shots include photos of Ben accepting an alcohol delivery outside his house. 

Two days after the alcohol delivery, Jennifer Garner is seen driving a disheveled-looking Ben to rehab.

Ben Affleck is heading back to rehab. The actor, 46, is seeking treatment for alcohol addiction, PEOPLE confirms. A source tells PEOPLE, “He is seeking treatment. He knew he needed help and was vocal about it.” The move to enter a treatment facility came after his ex Jennifer Garner was photographed arriving at his home on Wednesday. The Peppermint actress was seen leaving Affleck’s upset and shaking. When she returned, Garner, Affleck and an unidentified woman who arrived at the actor’s home with her were photographed in a car the actress was driving.

October 2018

Ben and Jennifer Garner’s divorce is finalized.

2019

March 2019

On March 19, 2019, Alex proposes to Jennifer while they vacation in the Bahamas.

September 2019

With a wedding reportedly planned to take place the next summer in Italy, J-Rod have their engagement party on September 27, 2019.

2020 

February 2020

Alex supports Jennifer as she performs at the Super Bowl halftime show on February 2, 2020.

In a February 18, 2020, profile for The New York Times, Ben talks about JLo, saying that she should have been nominated for an Oscar for her role in “Hustlers.” 

"She should have been nominated. She's the real thing," Affleck said in an unused clip from the interview, per New York Times reporter Brooks Barnes. "I keep in touch periodically with her and have a lot of respect for her. How awesome is it that she had her biggest hit movie at 50? That's f*cking baller."

March 2020

Ben is confirmed to be dating his recent "Dark Water" co-star Ana De Armas, right as the COVID pandemic begins shutting everything down in the world. They will be seen out on walks while apparently isolating together in L.A. throughout the spring and summer. 

May 2020

A source confirms that J-Rod are having to postpone their wedding due to COVID-19.

Alex Rodriguez will have to wait even longer to put "El Anillo" on Jennifer Lopez's ring finger.  A source tells E! News, the singer and former pro-athlete have indefinitely postponed their summer nuptials because of the coronavirus pandemic. "They have been struggling for weeks over this decision, but with no return to normalcy in the near future, the couple felt postponing the wedding was the safest and smartest choice," the insider reveals. "Guests have recently been notified that the wedding will not be happening in late summer as anticipated." According to the source, Jennifer and Alex planned to host their wedding in Italy and still hope to "have the wedding of their dreams" when the timing is right. The insider says they are considering new dates, but don't see the ceremony taking place anytime "soon."

2021

January 2021

In a podcast interview with The Hollywood Reporter on January 14, 2021, Ben praises JLo and reflects on how rude media coverage of her was when they were together. 

“People were so fucking mean about her — sexist, racist. Ugly, vicious shit was written about her in ways that if you wrote it now you would literally be fired for saying those things you said. Now it’s like, she’s lionized and respected for the work she did, where she came from, what she accomplished — as well she fucking should be! I would say you have a better shot, coming from the Bronx, of ending up as like [Justice Sonia] Sotomayor on the Supreme Court than you do of having Jennifer Lopez’s career and being who she is at 50 years old today.”

On January 18, 2021, sources confirm that Ben and Ana de Armas have split.

"She broke it off. Their relationship was complicated. Ana doesn't want to be Los Angeles based and Ben obviously has to since his kids live in Los Angeles." "This is something that was mutual and something that is completely amicable," another source close to Affleck and de Armas adds. "They are in different points in their lives; there is deep love and respect there. Ben continues to want to work on himself. He has three jobs lined up and he's a solid father at home. They are both happy with where they are in their lives."

February 2021

Rumors swirl that Alex cheated on Jennifer with a reality TV star, Madison Lecroy of Southern Charm. In the show’s latest reunion special, which was taped in December 2020 but not aired until February 2021, discussion amongst cast members alleges that Madison had an affair with an ex-MLB player whose name is bleeped out. The Internet quickly figures out that they are talking about ARod.

On February 3, 2021, Madison speaks to Page Six and denies any physical relationship with ARod but says they just spoke on the phone.

Rumors bubbled among LeCroy’s friends that she’d had “an affair” with the slugger — and they exploded into the public eye after Bravo’s Andy Cohen mentioned during a “Southern Charm” reunion show “a very famous … ex-MLB player.” But LeCroy told us Wednesday that she and A-Rod have “never met up.” She clarified they’ve “spoken on the phone.” “That’s the truth,” she said, adding they’ve “never been physical … never had any kind of anything. Just an acquaintance.” An insider further told Page Six, “Alex and Jennifer are very happy. They’re together and building a house in Miami Beach.”

Two years later, long after JRod's split, Madison will allege more damning details about her communication with Alex.

On Thursday’s episode of Austen Kroll’s podcast, “Pillows and Beer,” LeCroy recalled her disbelief when she first got an Instagram message from the famous MLB player back in 2020.  “I’m being f–king catfished. The dude who’s dating [Jennifer Lopez] is not in my DMs right now,” she told Kroll she said to herself. LeCroy added, “I told [Rodriguez], I said, ‘If you’re looking for a side chick,’ which clearly he was, ‘it wasn’t gonna be me.’ I’m wifey material.” The Bravo star, 32, also claimed that Rodriguez offered to fly her to Miami on multiple occasions, sending over travel itineraries from commercial flights.

Meanwhile...

TMZ will claim that Ben reached out to JLo in early February by email, which sparked a reconnection between the two. This would be right around the time the rumors about ARod-Madison came out.

Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ... Ben and J Lo were in very regular contact by email starting in early February when she flew to the Caribbean to begin filming "Shotgun Wedding." We're told the tone of the emails wasn't just friendly ... but more loving and longing for Jen. For instance, after seeing pics of Jennifer in the D.R., he wrote to tell her how beautiful she looked, and how much he wished he could be down there with her. Of course, he was busy at the time in Boston, shooting "The Tender Bar" with George Clooney -- and she was still engaged to Alex Rodriguez. Our sources say the emails also referenced J Lo's love for Ben's writing, and included a line about him being able to "own her heart" with his pen. We're told they continued emailing each other, back and forth, for the duration of J Lo's shoot.

March 2021

On March 12, 2021, Page Six reports that JRod have called off their engagement.

The next day, March 13, 2021, the two deny that they have broken up.

"All the reports are inaccurate. We are working through some things.” Earlier Saturday, multiple sources close to the couple said: "They never officially broke up and had talked about it but are still together. They hit a rough patch that made them think about what they should do. They are sticking together. They are working through things.”

Alex and Jennifer are photographed kissing in the Dominican Republic shortly thereafter. Page Six reports that Alex flew to where Jennifer was filming her movie to try and salvage the relationship.

April 2021

To start off the month, Ben calls JLo the “hardest-working person” when asked to talk about her in an April 2021 InStyle cover story on her. 

“I thought I had a good work ethic, but I was completely humbled and blown away by what she was committed to doing day in and day out, the seriousness in which she took her work, the quiet and dedicated way she went about accomplishing her goals, and then how she would go back and redouble her efforts," he told the publication. He added, “She has great talent, but she has also worked very hard for her success, and I’m so happy for her that she seems, at long last, to be getting the credit she deserves.” The Last Duel star also quipped about Lopez’s ageless appearance, adding, “Where are you keeping the fountain of youth? Why do you look the same as you did in 2003 and it kind of looks like I’m in my 40s...at best?"  In response, Lopez told the magazine, "I don't have any [beauty] secrets except JLo Beauty — and I'm giving them all to everyone with every product. Ben is funny! He still looks pretty good too."

April 15, 2021

Alex and Jennifer confirm their split after four years together, and this time they’re really over.

“We have realized we are better as friends and look forward to remaining so. We will continue to work together and support each other on our shared businesses and projects. We wish the best for each other and one another's children. Out of respect for them, the only other comment we have is to say is thank you to everyone who has sent kind words and support.”

April 30, 2021

Ben and Jennifer are seen hanging out together. Initially, a source tells People they are merely friends.

Exes Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have been hanging out together in Los Angeles after the singer's recent split from Alex Rodriguez. Affleck, 48, visited Lopez, 51, at her L.A. home on Friday, a source tells PEOPLE. A separate source who knows them both tells PEOPLE, "They are friends. They have always been friends and they have seen each other through the years." Affleck was also photographed leaving a white Escalade SUV that allegedly belongs to Lopez, according to the New York Post's Page Six.

May 2021

The day after the sighting, a source tells People that the two have a lot of love for each other.

"They have spent time together in L.A. over the past week," a source tells PEOPLE of the pair, who were in a relationship from 2002 to 2004. "They have a lot of love for each other. They have always admired each other."

Ten days later, it’s clear things are progressing swiftly as they are seen on a trip to Montana together.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have been spending more time together. Over a week after the exes were pictured at her Los Angeles home in late April, Lopez, 51, and Affleck, 48, were spotted in Montana. Sources tell PEOPLE they were pictured riding in a car together near a resort in Big Sky, where Affleck has a home. He was seen behind the wheel with Jennifer in the passenger seat. Photos of their outing were published by The Daily Mail. "[Jennifer] spent several days with Ben out of town. They have a strong connection. It's all been quick and intense, but Jennifer is happy," a source tells PEOPLE of the pair who were later spotted arriving back in L.A. on Saturday on a private jet.

July 2021

JLo posts a picture kissing Ben on her Instagram for the first time, making things even more official.

Summer/Fall 2021

Everything old is new again, as Ben and Jen make like it's 2002 and show their love all over the world with lots of PDA and red carpet appearances.

December 2021

Ben gets backlash for saying in an interview with Howard Stern that he would still be drinking if he had remained married to Jennifer Garner. 

"I'd probably still be drinking. It's part of why I started drinking … because I was trapped," he Argo director admitted to Howard Stern of feeling unhappy in his marriage to Garner, 49. "I was like 'I can't leave 'cause of my kids, but I'm not happy, what do I do?' What I did was drink a bottle of scotch and fall asleep on the couch, which turned out not to be the solution."

He then has to clarify:

“I was trying to say, ‘Hey, look, I was drinking too much, and the less happy you become, whether it’s your job, your marriage, it’s just that as your life becomes more difficult, if you’re doing things to fill a hole that aren’t healthy, you’re going to start doing more of those things.'”

For Christmas 2021, Ben gives Jennifer a book that compiles all of their love letters and emails over the last 20 years and he titles it, “The Greatest Love Story Never Told.” She will speak about this in her documentary of the same name three years later.

2022

February 2022

Jennifer covers People magazine and explains why things are different with Ben this time.

"We're older now, we're smarter, we have more experience, we're at different places in our lives, we have kids now, and we have to be very conscious of those things. "It's a beautiful outcome that this has happened in this way at this time in our lives where we can really appreciate and celebrate each other and respect each other," Lopez says. "We always did, but we have even more of an appreciation because we know that life can take you in different directions." No longer distracted by the pomp and media circus that surrounded their relationship before they split in 2004, Lopez says, "I think we are strong enough now to know what's real and what's not, whereas when we were younger maybe some of those outside voices were a little bit tougher for us to reconcile and survive."

April 2022

Bennifer confirm their engagement.

“It was totally unexpected. My love came in, Ben came in, and he got down on one knee and he said some things that I’ll never forget. And then he pulled out a ring and said, ‘Will you marry me?’” she recalled. “And it was the most perfect moment.”

July 2022

Ben and Jennifer get married in Las Vegas on July 17, 2022, almost 20 years after they made their first public debut as a couple.

“We did it. Love is beautiful. Love is kind. And it turns out love is patient. Twenty years patient. “Exactly what we wanted. Last night we flew to Vegas, stood in line for a license with four other couples, all making the same journey to the wedding capital of the world. Behind us two men held hands and held each other. In front of us, a young couple who made the three-hour drive from Victorville on their daughter’s second birthday — all of us wanting the same thing — for the world to recognize us as partners and to declare our love to the world through the ancient and nearly universal symbol of marriage. “With the best witnesses you could ever imagine, a dress from an old movie and jacket from Ben’s closet, we read our own vows in the little chapel and gave one another the rings we’ll wear for the rest of our lives. “It was the best possible wedding we could have imagined. One we dreamed of long ago and one made real (in the eyes of the state, Las Vegas, a pink convertible and one another) at very, very long last.”

August 2022

On August 20, 2022, they have another wedding ceremony for family and friends in Georgia.

No matter what happens from here, they have already lasted longer the second go-around than they did the first.

[ilookedintoit]

Bennifer | Act 1

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez launched a romance that took the world by storm in 2002. Both established and uber famous on their own, their unexpected coupling excited both celebrity gossipers and media outlets alike. Their flame burned so bright and had such long-lasting effects on pop culture, it's hard to believe that they were over just 18 months after they went public.

More than 17 years after their breakup - a Hollywood heartbreak complete with the dramatic cancellation of their wedding four days before the ceremony - the couple branded "Bennifer" somehow found their way back to each other and finally made it down the aisle.

2001

May 2001

Ben's role in the film “Gigli” is announced.

August 2001

Halle Berry is reported to be in talks to star opposite Ben in "Gigli." 

On August 3, 2001, Ben enters rehab for alcohol addiction.

Actor Ben Affleck, the 28-year-old leading man and Oscar-winning screenwriter, has voluntarily entered a treatment center to undergo alcohol treatment. "Ben is a self-aware and smart man who has decided that a fuller life awaits him without alcohol," said David Pollick, his publicist, in a statement.  "He has chosen to seek out professional assistance and is committed to traveling a healthier road with the support of his family, friends and fans," Pollick said. The Pearl Harbor star has checked into Promises, the same live-in rehab center where fellow actor Robert Downey Jr. and comedian Paula Poundstone are undergoing treatment. (Source)

September 29, 2001

Jennifer marries dancer Cris Judd, who she met on the set of her “Love Don't Cost a Thing” music video.

October 31, 2001

Jennifer's role in "Gigli" opposite Ben is announced after Halle Berry had schedule conflicts and had to back out of the film. She will get paid $12 million.

December 2001

Production begins on “Gigli” on December 17, 2001, and Ben and Jennifer meet for the first time. Photos are taken of them on set on December 18, 2001.

2002

Ben will later say that he and Jennifer were strictly friends while they filmed the movie in early 2002.

"When I met her we became really, really, really good friends," Affleck explains. "But at first, because she was married, there was no thought of a romantic relationship, so that created the opportunity to get to know each other without any of the falseness that goes with courtship because you're trying to make a good impression. I didn't try to change anything about myself, and she didn't either. We became really good friends in a way that was very comfortable." Not that he was unaware of his growing attraction to his co-star... "I believe that more or less from the beginning of a relationship you have an accurate sense of how far it could go, what the possibilities are," Affleck says. "With Jen, I thought, Even though it can never happen, it was nice for me to know I was capable of feeling that way—that I could love somebody in a way where what I really wanted was for them to be happy, even more than I wanted what I wanted. That was a new experience for me." (Source)

February 2002

Jennifer and Cris attend a Grammys after-party on February 27.

March 2002

In March, Ben begins filming the movie "Daredevil" opposite another Jennifer - Jennifer Garner.

Ben, who will marry Jennifer Garner in 2005, is quoted in 2013 saying that the two of them fell in love on the set of "Daredevil."

“That’s where I found my wife,” he said. “We met on Pearl Harbor, which people hate, but we fell in love on Daredevil.” 

Is it revisionist's history? Perhaps. Because as they are filming "Daredevil," he will go full throttle into a relationship with Jennifer Lopez, and it's hard to believe he's busy falling in love with anyone else at this time. In addition, Jennifer Garner was still married to Scott Foley when they made "Daredevil."

After Jennifer Lopez is named ShoWest's Female Star of the Year, it is also in March 2002 that Ben takes out ads in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter praising her effusively. This move apparently "bemuses Hollywood," according to The Evening Standard:

It must be galling for an A-list Hollywood actor to see his latest co-star and New Best Friend universally mocked as a spoilt diva. After all, since they began filming the thriller Gigli late last year, Ben Affleck has become rather close to his leading lady, Jennifer Lopez, walking arm in arm on set with her while he whispered into her ear, as paparazzi photographs revealed in January. So it was only natural that Affleck would want to tell the world how wrong we have all been about Ms. Lopez’s egomaniacal excesses. As he disclosed on American television this week, he, too, is ashamed to have had his initial suspicions about her. “I know I shouldn’t have had those preconceptions,” he confessed, “but I now realize how wrong I was.” Still, he knew how to make amends. As he explained, “I thought I’d write a paragraph saying what a professional, decent person I think she is.”   He then spent about $20,000 plastering that paragraph all over the movie trade papers Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In huge display advertisements headlined, simply, “Jennifer,” Affleck wrote “with love, respect and gratitude,” how proud he was that Lopez had picked up a recent award and what a “wonderful example” she had been to him.  “You have shown kindness, dedication, diligence, humility, graciousness of spirit, beauty in courage, great empathy, astonishing talent, real poise ad true grace,” he gushed. “You are every inch the consummate professional. It has been nothing but an honor and a pleasure to work with you. I only wish I were lucky enough to be in all your movies.”

Jennifer and Cris attend the ShoWest awards on March 7, 2002, where she receives her award. She also takes her husband to the Oscars on March 24, 2002.

April 2002

On April 12, 2002, Cris accompanies Jennifer to the grand opening of her restaurant, Madre’s. Ben is also in attendance at the opening and is seen in this photo with Jennifer and Nicole Kidman.

Four days later, Cris sticks close by on the set of Jennifer filming her new music video, “I’m Gonna Be Alright.”

May 2002

On May 22, Cris is spotted outside the studio as Jennifer films an appearance with David Letterman.

As she has been filming the movie "The Chambermaid" (later released as "Maid in Manhattan") in New York, Cris has been "an occasional visitor."

[T]he pair were spotted there together as recently as May 30. "She was standing with Cris," says an observer. "He had his hand around her waist. He was reaching under her arm to tickle her side." He has also popped in at her four-bedroom Greenwich Village pad in recent weeks. "I've seen Cris here a lot," says one resident. "He's really nice." (Source)

June 2002

Jennifer and Cris announce their split on June 7, 2002, and a report from CNN states that they had actually separated the month before, in May.

Partying with a group of 20 pals on June 6, Jennifer Lopez and her husband of nine months, Cris Judd, acted like most couples still enjoying their first year of marriage. "They looked very close," says a guest at the dinner party, which was held at Manhattan's swank eatery Thom. "They were very warm and affectionate. Nobody sensed anything was wrong." Give those newlyweds a pair of Oscars: The following day news broke that Lopez and Judd, both 32, had privately and amicably called it quits one month earlier. Even Judd's father, Larry, 58, a Niceville, Florida, restaurateur, seemed bushwhacked when asked about the news. "I won't believe it until I hear it from Cris," he said. "I've seen no indication of any sort of problems."  For his part, friends say that Judd is taking the breakup hard. "He wanted this to work," says a pal. "I'm sure he thought it would last. Marriage is a very sacred thing to him. He didn't take it lightly or he wouldn't have done it." Accordingly, pals dismiss reports of a romantic link to Ben Affleck, her costar in the upcoming film "Gigli." The actor raised eyebrows in March when he placed an ad in Variety extolling Lopez's "graciousness of spirit, beauty and courage, great empathy, astonishing talent, real poise and true grace." But, says a Lopez source, "they did a movie together. They're not dating."

Ben claims that nothing happened between him and Jennifer until he found out her marriage was ending.

"It changed when she told me she was getting separated," Affleck said. "At that point, it became a possibility; doors were opened." (Source)

July 2002

Early in the month, Jen and Ben are spotted shopping together at a deli in New York City, close to where Ben’s brother Casey owns an apartment, according to the New York Daily News on July 7, 2002.

On July 22, 2002, Jen and Ben are seen out again, according to Us Weekly, at the Nobu restaurant in New York.

One fellow diner says, “They were kissing and very touchy-feely. They seemed proud to be with each other.”  (Us Weekly)

On July 24, 2002, Ben is with Jennifer to celebrate her birthday, and they are now clearly, openly a couple.

Jennifer Lopez and new flame Ben Affleck kissed, cuddled and made goo-goo eyes at each other for hours yesterday as the Latina lovely was feted at a surprise birthday party. J.Lo, who turned 33, was ushered by a grinning Affleck into the posh Park eatery on West 17th Street in mid-afternoon, supposedly for a quiet lunch. But once inside, the flustered star was greeted by thunderous applause from her family and friends. Next, she introduced the new love of her life to mom Lupe, dad David, sisters, grandmother and nieces at the gala gathering of 25 revelers. Wearing a fetching blue silk dress, J.Lo sat close to Affleck and could be seen affectionately canoodling and whispering with the star of the hit “The Sum of All Fears.”  Affleck gave his honey a Harry Winston bracelet of yellow and white diamonds. (New York Post)

On July 25, 2002, Jennifer officially files for divorce from Cris.

August 2002

Bennifer mania begins with both Us Weekly and People Magazine debuting covers featuring the new couple. According to the New York Post, People pays $75,000 for nine photos of J.Lo and Ben Affleck riding in a Bentley convertible.

People magazine and US Weekly have dueling Ben Affleck-Jennifer Lopez stories on their covers this week.  Both are reporting, according to anonymous “pals” and “close sources,” that the two are an item. People’s Aug. 12 issue quotes sources who say the singer-actress began introducing Affleck to friends as her boyfriend three days before she and her second husband, Cris Judd, filed for divorce last month. She and Judd had been married for 10 months. Us boasts in its Aug. 12 issue that it has exclusive photos of the couple, and quotes friends who say they aren’t hiding their relationship. Affleck, 29, and Lopez, 32, got to know each other last winter on the set of the movie, Gigli, scheduled to come out next year.  (Associated Press)

September 2002

Cris Judd’s father angrily claims that Bennifer had an affair while she was still married to his son.

The father of Jennifer Lopez's former husband Cris Judd has slammed the superstar singer, saying her cheating broke his son's heart.  Larry Judd said: "Overnight Jennifer cast my son aside and turned her back on her marriage vows."  Judd also claimed Lopez, 32, started an affair with Ben Affleck while they were filming Gigli in January - five months after her wedding.  And he revealed that Cris, 33, received very little in the divorce settlement.  He said: "Although it's been widely speculated that Cris will get between $9 million and $15 million when the divorce becomes final in January, nothing could be further from the truth."  Judd, who is retired from the Air Force, told the National Enquirer: "Against my best advice Cris has turned his back on the millions that could have been his under California law.  "As far as I know my son walked away from the marriage with only his clothes, his dog and his car." (Source) 

This is a claim that Ben and Jen will both deny in the coming months:

J. Lo says she didn’t sleep with Ben until after she’d separated from Judd later that spring. In fact, she tells Reader’s Digest, she and Judd were already having problems by the time she met Affleck on the set of ”Gigli” (opening July 30). However, she says, ”to talk about that with another man wouldn’t have been cool.” If Affleck was attracted to her then, he kept it to himself, she says. ”I’m a very faithful person. If somebody had told me, ‘Ben’s attracted to you’, I would have said, ‘No, I wasn’t raised that way.’” (Source)

Although Judd's father has claimed that Ben and Jennifer got involved while she was still with Cris, Affleck says firmly, "That is absolutely not true. It goes against the fundamental code I believe in and live by: being honest, doing things with which I can live, rather than be ashamed of—doing estimable things. Deliberately and consciously trying to live like that made me happier. Because I feel very comfortable and good about where I am and the choices I'm making, the very idea of hiding or misrepresenting anything I'm doing makes me really uncomfortable. And that's not something that's in Jennifer's character, either. Both of us wanted to err on the side of doing the right thing." (Source)

October 2002

Ben and Jen film the famous scenes for her "Jenny From the Block" video that portray their relationship is being invaded by the media.

November 2002

The "Jenny from the Block" music video premieres on November 5. The next day, word spreads that Jen and Ben are engaged and she is going to confirm the news in an interview with Diane Sawyer.

It's official! Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are engaged to be married.  Though reps for the Hollywood couple would not confirm the news, a source close to the pair has confirmed to ET that they do plan to marry. While wearing the pink diamond ring that Ben gave her, J.Lo dropped plenty of hints on Tuesday's "TRL" on MTV, saying, "I think everybody will know soon enough."  The couple reportedly struck up a solid friendship back in December while working together in L.A. on the film 'Gigli.' Jen and Ben then went public as a pair on July 22, according to Us magazine, when the power couple took a center table at New York's trendy, see-and-be-seen sushi restaurant Nobu.  On Tuesday's "Total Request Live" with Carson Daly, a glowing Jennifer came out to present her brand-new video, "Jenny From the Block," which features her and Ben engaging in some steamy on-screen action: kissing in a pool, laying out on a yacht, and cozying up on a couch. She also revealed that there's a song on her upcoming CD called "Dear Ben."  The exciting news also comes on the heels of rumors that Jennifer would discuss her engagement to ABC's Diane Sawyer on an upcoming "Primetime" special. When contacted by ET, Jennifer's representatives had no comment. "Primetime Thursday" would only confirm an interview with the star to air next Wednesday.

She does in fact confirm the engagement with Diane Sawyer and tells her about the proposal in the Primetime interview.

Jen says that Ben proposed to her at his mother’s house in Boston. “It’s just a blanket, a quilt of rose petals, all over the whole entire house... So many candles, and vases, bouquets. And my song ‘Glad’ was playing … I walk in and I was just, like, overwhelmed. I wasn’t expecting it, and I was just like, ‘Oh my God.’”

The 6-carat pink diamond that Ben gives her becomes rather legendary:

Fresh off the news of their engagement, Ben and Jen are seen out filming scenes for their second movie together, "Jersey Girl," in New York City.

On November 20, 2002, Ben is named People's Sexiest Man Alive in its new issue. Quoted in the article is his "Daredevil" co-star Jennifer Garner, who says:

"We all swooned. He's your basic tall, dark and handsome. He's it. You want him to save you. I can't imagine anyone the world would rather swoop in and save the day than Ben."

February 2003

Jennifer attends the "Daredevil" premiere with Ben. Ben's co-star Jennifer Garner is accompanied to the premiere by her husband, Scott Foley - who she will separate from a month later.

March 2003

Ben and Jen attend the Oscars. A popular media narrative during their relationship will be to comment on how much more fashionable Ben dresses now that he is with J.Lo.

July 2003

Ahead of the premiere of "Gigli," Ben and Jen agree to do a joint interview with Dateline that gives insight into their relationship and life at home together. The interview special airs on July 17, 2003.

The couple attends the "Gigli" premiere in L.A. on July 27, 2003. The movie is immediately panned, becoming a critical and commercial flop, and a national joke.

Martin Brest’s 2003 romantic crime comedy “Gigli” remains one of the most costly box-office flops of all time, netting just $7 million off a production budget of $75 million. (Source)

August 2003

To add insult to injury, on the heels of the catastrophic "Gigli" release, the National Enquirer comes out with a bombshell story claiming that on July 17 - the same night the intimate Dateline interview of Ben and Jen had aired - Ben allegedly visited a strip club in Vancouver where he was filming the movie, "Paycheck."

The National Enquirer published an exclusive report alleging that on July 17—the very night the Dateline interview aired—Affleck visited Brandi’s Exotic Nightclub in Vancouver and had sex with two of the women working there. His reps immediately denied the more salacious aspects of the story, and another woman working at the club came forward to say that Affleck “never touched” any of the strippers, and that he was “drinking water” throughout the night. (The actor had recently completed a rehab stay in 2001.) According to the Enquirer, Tara Reid, Christian Slater, and Slater’s then-wife Ryan Haddon were at the club with Affleck, and the group ended the night at Slater’s house. “Ben did not cheat,” Haddon told Us Weekly after the Enquirer broke the story. “He did not have sex with anyone. Ben was listening to music, hanging out, talking to people, that’s it.” Affleck’s publicist threatened to sue the Enquirer, and one of the women named in the story ultimately did. But that did not stop the speculation that Lopez was going to call off the wedding over the incident. (Source)

After the National Enquirer story comes out, Jen reportedly goes out dancing with her friends sans wedding ring, causing intense speculation that their relationship is over.

Britain’s Sky News is going so far as to report that Lopez, 34, is telling friends that the relationship has finished. Meanwhile, Tuesday’s New York Post said that last weekend, the bride-to-be — purportedly upset about Affleck’s antics in the Northwest Canadian city (his visit appears on the front page of this week’s National Enquirer) — flew to L.A. and went dancing with friends. The engagement ring was not on her finger, says the paper. Affleck, 33, meanwhile reportedly remained in Vancouver, wrapping his movie, “Paycheck.” Lopez’s spokesperson tells USA Today that J.Lo was aware in advance that Ben was heading to a strip club and that it was fine with her. The rep also said the couple’s wedding (whose date has never been revealed, despite the best efforts of “Dateline” to find out) is still on. (Source)

Despite the stories alleging Ben's infidelity and the media frenzy, the duo are not done yet, and won't be for several months. On August 16, 2003, they are sighted out together in Los Angeles. Jennifer puts on a big smile for the camera.

September 2003

The month of their planned wedding finally arrives. It is remarkable how badly things have spiraled in the past month - the tabloid stories combined with the epic failure of the project that brought them together in the first place.

Their nuptials are set for September 14, and as attention on them grows, they apparently begin to break. People magazine will state that details had begun trickling out about the wedding over the prior month:

Despite attempts to keep things quiet, details about the pair’s nuptials have been leaking out for weeks. First came whispers that Vera Wang was designing Lopez’s dress, followed by word that Casey Affleck would serve as his brother’s best man, and that Santa Barbara would play host to the ceremony — with guests being shuttled to the secret site from Los Angeles. The latest issue of PEOPLE reports that guests were to stay at the posh Bacara Resort, and that Lopez planned to stay at Montecito’s San Ysidro Ranch prior to the wedding. And on Wednesday, the mother of another Santa Barbara bride even ratted out Ben and J.Lo, telling ABCNews.com that her daughter is tying the knot at the same location. (She claimed it was the Four Seasons Biltmore Hotel.)

September 10, 2003

On Wednesday, Sept. 10, Ben and Jen announce that their wedding, set for Sunday, Sept. 14, has been postponed due to intense media scrutiny. They release a joint statement:

Due to the excessive media attention surrounding our wedding, we have decided to postpone the date. When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate ‘decoy brides’ at three different locations, we realized that something was awry. We began to feel that the spirit of what should have been the happiest day of our lives could be compromised. We felt what should have been a joyful and sacred day could be spoiled for us, our families, and our friends.

Unnamed sources speculate cold feet, with alleged connections on both sides giving reasons for why either Ben or Jennifer would want to call it off. People magazine will claim that it was Ben's call:

The couple blamed the delay on excessive media attention surrounding the event, but reports persisted that Affleck was having second thoughts about the nuptials. A PEOPLE source says it was Affleck who initiated the split. While it was unclear whether the separation was permanent, Lopez was “devastated,” according to one friend. The star was in tears on Wednesday, sources said, as she called guests telling them of the wedding’s postponement.

The night that they release their statement, they step out at The Ivy in L.A., presumably to show they are still together.

On September 13, People Magazine reports that the couple has in fact split up, but that a reconciliation would surprise no one. Jennifer flies off by herself to Miami where she is seen swimming and out with friends, while Ben remains in L.A.

In a People magazine print article immediately following the debacle, a Lopez source says the couple has a lot to talk about:

“They’re going to sit down and talk,” says a Lopez pal. “They’ve spoken on the phone, but it’s different in person. They need to do it away from the glare of New York and Los Angeles.” And even as the mid-Atlantic coast braced for the arrival of Hurricane Isabel, a different sort of tempest seemed to be brewing. “Only the two of them know how it might turn out,” says her pal. “Either way, she’s one to confront her problems. I’m sure they’re going to scream, cry and laugh and maybe figure this out.” “I don’t think Jennifer and Ben have actually sat down and said the words, ‘It’s over,’ ” says a source close to Lopez. Even Affleck’s dad, Tim, 60, was puzzled by the sudden turn of events: “I couldn’t possibly tell you one way or the other what’s going through Jennifer’s mind or Ben’s mind.” What, indeed, was going through their minds as they prepared to tie the knot before 200 guests in Santa Barbara, Calif.? “As the [wedding] date got closer, reality set in,” says a friend of the 31-year-old actor, “that this may not be the person Ben wants to spend the rest of his life with.” A confidant of Lopez’s pins the blame on “a helluva lotta stress,” adding that those close to Affleck—including his mom, Chris, 60—were raising questions about whether the marriage was a good idea. “He started getting scared,” says the source. Nonetheless, after the postponement, this friend says, “he called her every couple of hours, asking her to come back.” For her part, Lopez, 34, “loves [Ben] deeply,” says a friend. And she is hardly prepared to give up. Says a source close to the situation: “She still thinks there’s a chance.”

Less than two weeks after postponing their wedding, on September 22, the pair apparently are reconciled and mulling over the possibility of eloping. A report by People will later claim:

On Sept. 22 they were once again side by side at the Liberty County courthouse, 30 miles southwest of Savannah, near his 83 acre, $7.1 million Hampton Island estate. They told reporters they were just getting a hunting license, but a courthouse source now says Lopez and Affleck submitted an application for a marriage license from Judge Nancy Aspinwall. They asked Aspinwall to store the application—which she did, in a locked cabinet near her desk—until she got the go-ahead from them to file it. Meanwhile, says another source, Affleck asked local authorities to request that the FAA declare a no-fly zone over his property. Police officer Jason Griffin, 33, was one of several people asked to hold Oct. 4 open to provide security for “something big,” he says. “They were going to call me a few days before the 4th to tell me where and when to meet.” But the call never came—and no license was filed.

October 2003

Though a wedding is not officially back on, they are still back together. Ben and Jen are seen out various times throughout the fall, including at a Red Sox game on October 11 and going to dinner in New York on October 28.

December 2003

The pair are seen out in New York City together a few times in mid-December before being spotted back in L.A. together a week before Christmas.

2004

January 2004

Ben and Jen spend New Year's in Las Vegas. In addition to having gone to rehab for alcohol addiction in 2001, much has been made of Ben's propensity for gambling.

Gossip blogger Lainey looked back on pictures taken of J.Lo with Ben at a casino as 2003 neared 2004 and speculates that this is when Jen realized it was over.

As you can see from the images, he’s smoking and she’s bored. And she’s looking at him like - oh my God, I can’t do this anymore. And he... well... if you were to ask me to analyse the situation, I’d say he sabotaged it deliberately. (Source)

January 20, 2004

According to People magazine, this is the day Bennifer officially ends the first act of their relationship.

When Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck arrived at Beverly Hills’ hip Matsuhisa restaurant at 8:30 p.m. on Jan 20, there was none of the usual kissing and laughter. Nor was there anger or yelling. Just the sober countenaces of two people heavy with their own history and, once again, with issues to discuss. During their hour-long Matsuhisa dinner, “they looked serious,” says a witness. More than serious, actually. “He looked sad,” notes the source. “She reached out to touch his head, like, trying to kiss him. And they gave each other a little kiss. But he really wasn’t reacting to her. It seemed like something was wrong.” It was. Before the day was done, the caroming Bentley known as Bennifer—the passionate public embraces, the lavish spending sprees, the night he spent cavorting with strippers in Vancouver last summer and the stunning cancellation of the $2 million wedding last September that left her, according to a mutual friend, “hysterical and very deeply depressed”—had finally skidded to a halt. Two days later—and two years after they met on the set of their disastrous comedy Gigli—her rep announced that Lopez “has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck.” And just like that, the couple-that-could faced the fact that they couldn’t—and pretty much everyone close to them heaved a sigh of relief. “The relationship was a slow death,” says a source close to them both. “It was a long goodbye.”

The news of their split is announced on January 22, 2004.

“I am confirming the reports that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck,” a rep states. “At this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy.” 

March 2004

"Jersey Girl" premieres, but Jen - whose role in the movie actually only lasts 15 minutes - does not participate in promotion for the movie.

Rumors spread that Jennifer and old friend and collaborator Marc Anthony are finding comfort in each other as he is also facing an impending divorce. Marc takes to his website to release a statement denying that infidelity led to his divorce, and he defends Jennifer in the process: "In no way, shape, or form did she have anything to do with the rupture of my marriage."

June 2004

Jennifer marries Marc Anthony on June 5, 2004.

She will tell People magazine, in possibly a veiled reference to how Ben got cold feet and ultimately sabotaged their relationship:

"When you find that person who doesn't run when things get hard – I think that's where Marc proved to me that he was more of a man than anything I had experienced."

In her 2014 book, "True Love," Jennifer explains that she ran into Marc right on the heels of her heartbreak with Ben and fell into his arms because she didn't want to be alone.

“We thought that this was where everything was supposed to lead, that we were meant to end up together,” wrote Lopez in her book. “All the heartache and pain of my recent breakup couldn’t have been for nothing, could it? Maybe I had to go through the bad so I could end up with the person I was meant to be with all along." Lopez said in her book that since Anthony felt familiar to her, she thought they were actually supposed to end up together. “And that was the moment when Marc reappeared in my life,” wrote Lopez. “Marc and I had been friends for a number of years... Right from the beginning, he never made it a secret that he liked me." “We make our own choices, and I chose to believe that Marc and I were meant to be together—that destiny was stepping in,” wrote Lopez. “In that moment, I needed to believe that; I needed to believe in something. The reality was, I didn’t want to be alone—so when Marc was there, when he met me with his big smile, his heart on his sleeve, and his arms open wide, I was more than happy to let myself fall into them.” (Source)

July 2004

Ben visits the set of "Elektra" starring Jennifer Garner to make a cameo as his Daredevil character. The two reportedly reconnect during this time.

August 2004

Jennifer Garner confirms she is no longer dating Michael Vartan as rumors swirl that she is now seeing Ben.

September 2004

People magazine reports that Ben and Jennifer Garner spent Labor Day weekend together, being spotted at a Starbucks near his home in Georgia. Us Weekly's Sept. 27, 2004 cover proclaims that they are in love.

October 2004

Ben makes his public debut as a couple with Jennifer Garner. Just as he sat on the sides with Jennifer Lopez at a Red Sox game a year earlier, he is now in the same location with Jennifer Garner.

2005

April 2005

Ben and Jennifer Garner announce their engagement.

Though neither Affleck nor Garner will officially confirm it, a close friend of his has been spreading the word that the couple are going to tie the knot. This echoes a prediction that one of Garner’s childhood friends made in early February when she noted that “it’s my understanding he’s going to give her a ring.”

June 2005

On June 29, 2005, Ben and a visibly pregnant Jennifer Garner get married.

“They’re in it for one another, not for anyone else,” Affleck’s pal, director Kevin Smith tells PEOPLE. “They didn’t need or want a crowd. They just wanted each other.” They got their wish – with a combination of cheers and sighs from friends who were sad they could not be there but understanding of why: in a word, Bennifer No. 1, Affleck’s glitzy romance with Jennifer Lopez, which ended with the permanent postponement of their planned $2 million wedding in 2003. Affleck and Garner, who met while filming 2003’s Daredevil, were afraid that if they told anyone about their plans, the news would spread. So they didn’t – and it didn’t. “I’m so happy they pulled off such an intimate, private event,” says Affleck’s longtime friend, producer Chris Moore tells PEOPLE. “That wasn’t easy.”

Now that the fait is accompli, reps for both have confirmed not only that the wedding took place but that Garner is indeed pregnant – a fact that was unofficially obvious to anyone who saw her supertaut belly swell in recent months. The fact that until now the couple had kept their private life private is, according to his pal, director Don Roos, “a sign of maturity.” Says Moore: “Ben’s got the right woman and he’s excited about this new chapter in his life. He’s really excited about becoming a father and Jen seems ecstatic. She’s so in love and really happy to be married to him.” (Source)

December 2005

Ben and Jennifer Garner's first child, Violet, is born.

In retrospect, the general attitude toward Bennifer 1.0 seemed to be fascination mixed with distaste and disbelief that two people seemingly so different would even try to be together.

An article in GQ has a paragraph that sums this up:

There was also something about the way the public saw him and Lopez, as though they were each simultaneously unworthy of the other, both making some kind of laughably terrible mistake, some kind of humiliating blunder that involved race and gender and class and talent, so that both were acting in a way that was inauthentic, that was a shameful betrayal of who they really were. The notion that they might be two people who just happened to have fallen in love was given short shrift. 

The pairings of Marc Anthony/Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck/Jennifer Garner made much more sense to people, and thus media attention and commentary were exponentially friendlier to the idea of those marriages.

But perfect on paper doesn't equal a happy ending, as we will see in Act II.

Click here for Act II.

[ilookedintoit]

Carrie & Tony & Jessica & John

The recent media obsession with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce - and the proceeding debate about whether there was too much focus on Taylor attending NFL games - reminded me of the attention, mostly negative, that was given to both Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson 16-17 years ago when they took turns dating another NFL player, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

The timeline of Tony & Carrie and Tony & Jessica was not at all clean and linear, and it led to some interesting interactions and comments in the media as these relationships evolved.

Adding to the drama and making it as messy as possible was John Mayer's insistence on remaining a part of Jessica's love life, before and during her relationship with Tony.

I wanted to delve into this classic mid-aughts love quadrangle and figure out the timeline of how it all went down.

August 2006

TMZ reports that Jessica Simpson is dating John Mayer, less than a year after her divorce from Nick Lachey of 98 Degrees.

Jessica Simpson's album "A Public Affair" isn't the only thing coming out today. Us Weekly is reporting that she and Grammy winning singer/songwriter John Mayer are an item, but sources say Simpson wants to "keep it private." Um...sure! If reports are true, this would be her first relationship since breaking up with ex-husband Nick Lachey.

Jessica confirms in her 2020 memoir, "Open Book," that she had begun secretly dating John several months before the news leaked - from someone close to her:

The week of my release someone from my team broke the story to the tabloids. Coming just a week after my album came out, it looked like a full-on, amateur stunt orchestrated to sell both our albums. I fired the person. John was worried he seemed in on it and felt that his artistic integrity was in jeopardy. I was in New York and he exploded on me, breaking up with me over an email. On August 31, he posted the cover of Public Enemy's "Don't Believe the Hype" on his blog as a response to the media. I was humiliated and thought he was out of my life for good. He wasn't.

September 2006

Jessica and John get back together. People Magazine features a cover story about their relationship.

November 2006

Tony Romo is the newly-named starter for the Dallas Cowboys, with no prior celebrity relationships under his belt. His fame is just starting to rise with his new role on the NFL's most high-profile team.

In mid-November, one media outlet called The Sporting News alleges that Tony is now dating Jessica. This is a possible connection because Jessica is a Dallas native who still visits Texas often.

Later in the month this rumor is bolstered when Sports Illustrated reports that Tony was seen having dinner with Jessica and her manager-father Joe Simpson in Los Angeles, and that Tony provided Joe Simpson with tickets to the November 12 Dallas Cowboys game.

The buzz begins being reflected in fan interest at the games with signs like this:

On November 23, Carrie Underwood - who has become a huge country star after winning American Idol in 2005 - performs at the Dallas Cowboys halftime show on Thanksgiving, at the same time that the Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson rumors are in full swing.

On November 29, Tony is asked about the speculation and denies that he is dating Jessica.

"Jessica and I are not dating, so no one has to write about that. Very funny, though. But anyhow, I guess there are worse things." (Source: Fort Worth Star Telegram)

He is apparently telling the truth; Jessica does not mention dating Tony during 2006 at all in her book. She was still fully entangled with John during this time, with him dumping her again by late November 2006:

Honestly he did it so many times I lost track. Always in an email... He'd dump me, then come back saying he had discovered he loved me after all.

December 2006

On December 1, Tony is interviewed by FSN Pro Football Preview and is asked which “tabloid starlet” he would like to date.

“I don’t know that I’d choose one. But one who I think is cute and does it the right way is Carrie Underwood. We’ll watch her. But I’m never going to mention anyone else’s name ever again. This is the last one…”

On December 3, both Jessica and Carrie are slated performers at the Kennedy Center Honors tribute to Dolly Parton.

Jessica states in her memoir that even though John had recently broken up with her, the night before the event he sends her song lyrics to the Aerosmith song, "Angel." This causes her to go into a tailspin wondering what was going on with him.

She began drinking backstage prior to the show, she said, and then John called her right before she was supposed to perform, which turned into an ugly conversation.

When she finally gets on stage to sing, she botches the words to "9 to 5" and has to stop singing. Her part is subsequently cut from the final broadcast.

Later, as the night’s performers, including country stars Carrie Underwood, Reba McEntire, and Kenny Rogers gathered onstage, Jessica appeared to have been crying.  (Source: The San Francisco Examiner)

She and Carrie are not seen or photographed together during the evening, but you can see them entering from opposite ends of the stage at the end of the event.

A December 20 report seems to confirm that Tony and Carrie are really seeing each other after Tony allegedly says as much to a reporter from his college town's newspaper. 

OK, talk about Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson apparently was just fabricated rumor.  But believe that the former Eastern Illionis quarterback suddenly nationally known star for the nation’s team is seeing former American Idol winning singer Carrie Underwood. “That one is true,” Romo said. (Source: Journal Gazette) 

On Christmas Day 2006, Carrie attends the Dallas Cowboys game. She is pictured hugging Tony on the sideline before the game and then seen watching the action from the owner's suite. The Cowboys lose badly, which the media cannot help mentioning as they discuss Carrie's appearance at the game.

Yards Per Carrie?  Apparently the best way to impress a pop princess is to become the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.  When being linked to Jessica Simpson got old, Tony Romo turned his attention to former “American Idol” Carrie Underwood. During the telecast before the first Monday night game, it didn’t take NBC long to find Underwood, in part because she somehow secured a field pass and was shown talking to Romo and another young woman.  With end zone seats scarce, Underwood watched from Jerry Jones’ luxury suite as Romo and the ‘Boys got clawed by the Philadelphia Eagles, 23-7. NBC’s exclusive Carrie Cam provided memorable shots during the first half.  No one asked Romo about his Christmas date after the game because the timing seemed wrong.  When asked earlier this month about rumors that he was dating the “American Idol” winner, the former Eastern Illinois quarterback was quoted in the Journal Gazette & Times-Courier, “That one is true.”  (Source: Fort Worth Star Telegram)

Famed sportscaster John Madden echoes a sentiment quick to be dispersed throughout the sports media landscape, blaming Carrie's presence for Tony's bad performance:

During Monday’s NBC telecast, John Madden said Romo might have been distracted because Underwood visited Romo on the field two hours before the game and gave him a hug. He said, “If I were in a relationship, I would feel bad for the girl because I wouldn’t have time for her. It’s football season."

January 2007

A new report early in the year claims everything about Tony and Jessica dating was just made up for some game day tickets. 

In unbelievably tacky fake hookup news, recent reports that Jessica Simpson is dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo are false. And who started the rumors? Her own father, Joe Simpson. The New York Post reports that Papa Simpson let Romo name-drop his daughter in exchange for game tickets, and the two supposed lovebirds have never even met.  In reality, Romo is dating American Idol finalist Carrie Underwood, and Simpson was just spotted again with John Mayer. (Source: Hartford Courant)

The Cowboys lose their wildcard playoff game on January 6 after Tony botches the hold for a field goal that would have let Dallas take the lead near the end of the game. Criticism for his end-of-season play comes to a fever pitch. Carrie is not at the game.

On January 21, Carrie says the rumors about her and Tony were always overblown.

"The first time I ever met him was on Christmas, right there on the field. Everybody was like, 'Ooh, they are together.' And then I was blamed for Dallas not winning that game... He is a very nice guy and I've talked to him a few times, but we are very much not together." An Illinois newspaper had originally reported that Tony admitted the two were dating and Carrie struck back saying, "That was one person from one local newspaper that said that, so whether or not..." "I've read 'sources said' we met on Thanksgiving. I had no clue who he was at that time. He is probably getting a little tired of that one (the false rumor he was dating Jessica Simpson) and now he's probably tired of this one..." (Source)

Meanwhile, Jessica and John are back together again, and publicly. They are seen out together on January 23 in Miami.

Jessica: He said a lot of our breakups were about me drinking and not being present for him, which was not, I would only find out much later, the full truth. But I took him at his word about his motivations, and that's why I always went back. It was my fault, and if he forgave me, that was all that mattered. (Source: Open Book)

February 2007

During Super Bowl week, Tony also denies a romance with Carrie:

“We’re friends," Romo said. "She's a very nice, sweet girl, I care for her, and whoever ends up with her will be a very lucky guy." (Source: Chicago Tribune)

Unconfirmed reports claim Carrie is "dating British singer Oliver Trevena, after dumping football hunk Tony Romo." I am not sure if she ever really dated that person.

Meanwhile, Jessica and John attend a Grammys party together on February 11.

We went to Sony’s Grammy afterparty together, and I was so happy he posed for pictures with me, because Grammy night is like the prom in our industry. He was nominated for five awards and won two that night. He broke up with me that night at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. I can’t even recall why. I just remember knocking on his hotel room door and begging until he finally took me back in the middle of the night. (Source: Open Book)

Despite this tumultuous dynamic, John and Jessica will be seen out together on several more occasions throughout the spring, including at Madison Square Garden later in February, in New York City in March, visiting Australia in April, and at the MET Gala in May.

April 2007

In the April 2007 issue of Cosmopolitan, Carrie denies that she is dating Tony and says her last serious relationship was her college boyfriend, Drake. 

But on April 22, Carrie is seen celebrating Tony's birthday with him at a party in Dallas.

American Idol winner Carrie Underwood and Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo insist they’re just friends, but they continue to send mixed signals. A spy for People spotted them at Dallas’ Ghostbar on Sunday for Romo’s 27th birthday bash, joined by his teammates. The mag’s Web site reports that the pair “looked very cozy” and that their “arms were around each other all night” in the deejay booth. Underwood spokesman Jessie Schmidt acknowledged that the two have been spending time together but are “definitely not boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s very casual at this point." (Source: Fort Worth Star Telegram)

Heavily watermarked pictures of Carrie and Tony partying together were posted here.

May 2007

On May 15, Tony escorts Carrie to the ACM Awards. A notable moment commented on in the media is when she wins an award and hands him her purse to hold while she goes up on stage to accept.

Quizzed about her date at last night's country celebration, the former American Idol winner gushed, "We're really good friends and we hang out and we support each other and everything that we do and it's great to have somebody here who's got your back." Meanwhile, Romo confessed, "We're just getting to know each other a little better and we'll see where everything goes, but it's just nice to have somebody at the end of the day to talk to who is going through similar things. "She's got a great personality, so she's really easy to talk to... (and) she loves to talk on the phone." Underwood revealed backstage that her awards show performance would be the first time Romo has seen his sweetheart play live. (Source)

June 2007

A tabloid report claims Tony has told Carrie that he wants to take a break so he can focus on the upcoming football season.

The season begins in September and ends in January.  “Carrie thought that they were moving to a more committed relationship,” a source told the tabloid. Romo asked Underwood to give him space for his career once before, and she did this, but this time, the request has hit a sour note with her, says the source, who added, “Carrie wants a firm commitment.”  (Source: MSNBC.com)

September 2007

Carrie's album "Carnival Ride" is released and she tells an interviewer that she and Tony have always been friends and weren't really dating.

Also in September, reports come out that Jessica is planning to make a country album. In response to that news, this little comparison chart is printed in the Chicago Tribune:

By September, Jessica and John are broken up again, and this time they remain apart long enough for her to start thinking about dating someone new. John is spotted out with actress Minka Kelly in late September, and he will date her for the next few months.

October 2007

In the October 26, 2007, issue of Entertainment Weekly, Carrie tells the reporter that she and Tony never got the chance to become a real couple and seemingly confirms that things didn't work out for them because of football and the negative attention:

“At one point it seemed like that’s where it was headed, but point blank, he is about football. I don’t know if it’s that I’m not quite his type or whatever, but I don’t think he’s at the point in his life where he would be willing to sacrifice football. He hated so much that people thought he was paying more attention to me and it was causing him not to do well.”

That same week, Carrie is linked to actor Chace Crawford with the two of them being spotted out together in New York City. Earlier in October, Tony is linked to actress Sophia Bush, but that's denied by sources. He is then seen partying with celebrities including Britney Spears on Halloween.

November 2007

Carrie covers Seventeen Magazine and addresses the Tony relationship again:

"We're very good friends, and I talk to him pretty much every day, whether it's a text or whatever," she says. "But we were never, like, dating. We hang out. We like doing the same things, and we come from similar backgrounds, and we both stumbled into big fame real fast. So we understand where each other is coming from. It's just the wrong time for both of us. In a different world, we might have dated. But not in this one right now." (Source)

While the timing might not have been right for Tony and Carrie, it apparently becomes right for Tony and Jessica, finally. At the end of November, Tony is linked to Jessica for real this time, a year after the initial rumors about them began.

Hours after guiding his Dallas Cowboys to a Thanksgiving Day win over the New York Jets, Tony Romo grabbed dinner with Jessica Simpson in Dallas. Romo, 27, arrived at the Dragonfly restaurant inside the swank Hotel ZaZa at around 7 p.m. Thursday, shortly after Simpson, also 27. They settled into a corner table with about 25 friends and family. (Source)

Jessica states in her book that their relationship began after she saw Tony say on TV that she was his dream girl. Knowing that he had been friendly with her father, she asked her dad to reach out to him.

We went public quickly, which was also new for me. It was easy. He had no interest in drama. He said the Lord’s Prayer every night before bed. A solid person who was the kind of guy that, as a kid, I imagined marrying.

December 2007

Jessica attends the Cowboys game against the Eagles on December 16, 2007, just as Carrie had done almost a year before. Tony's performance is also similar to that of his performance when Carrie attended.

From Jessica's memoir:

I proudly wore a pink version of Tony's jersey with his number nine on the front, and there I was, cheering on my guy. Annnd he proceeded to play the worst game of his career. ... "Send Jessica home!" the chant began. "Send Jessica home!"

"Jinx" was the word everyone used. The media was cruel, and even Tony's teammate Terrell Owens talked about me to the press. "Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite," he said, "in this locker room or in Texas Stadium." He also helpfully added that the last time Tony played close to this bad was the year before, when he had dated Carrie Underwood.

The nickname "Yoko Romo" is quickly assigned to Jessica and the media unleashes some pretty mean and unfair commentary.

January 2008

Tony is spotted on vacation in Cabo with Jessica a week before the Cowboys lose to the New York Giants in the playoffs.

The media narrative becomes that the vacation made Tony unfocused for the game, and it leads to more backlash against Jessica who apparently forced him to go, or something!

Jessica Simpson can vacation with boyfriend Tony Romo anywhere she wants now. NFL quarterback Romo has lots of free time, now that the New York Giants knocked him and the Dallas Cowboys into the offseason Sunday. But he may want to keep Simpson away from Dallas, where fans are blaming her for the Giants 21-17 victory in Sunday's big playoff showdown. (CBS)

John for some reason decides he needs to pipe up and defend his ex-girlfriend on his blog:

“Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas, This isn’t a sports blog, and it isn’t a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.) This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind. I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don’t really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I’m betting emotions are running high right about now. All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It’s one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don’t try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn’t be able to, but it’s less work for all involved.) I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I’m out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday’s worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul. JM”

"The absolute least to gain from this" ... except maybe trying to keep an emotional hook in your ex-girlfriend's heart.

June 2008

While it is not addressed in Jessica's book, some media reports claim that Tony and Jessica break up but get back together during the summer of 2008. Some reports blame Jessica's "meddling" father, while at least one tabloid claims she's also jealous of Carrie.

“(Jessica) is really upset that (Tony’s) still communicating with Carrie,” the source said. In fact, the insider revealed that the Dallas Cowboy quarterback frequently contacts the country-music star via e-mail and text messages even though he knows it bothers Jess. “She had specifically asked Tony to stop,” the insider added.

On June 13, 2008, Jessica is pictured wearing a Real Girls Eat Meat shirt. Tabloids like OK Magazine immediately question if this is a dig at Carrie because Carrie has been very outspoken about being a vegetarian. OK Magazine claims:

"Jess is sick of hearing about how Tony still has feelings for Carrie," says the insider. "She's obviously trying to poke fun at her rival and let her know who really has Tony's heart."

August 2008

Adding fuel to the simmering fire, Carrie says in the September issue of Allure Magazine that Tony still calls her.

"The phone will ring and it'll be him, and I'll maybe not answer," says the singer, 25, of the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, adding that the relationship wasn't serious. "We were both small town people doing very big things, and we relied on each other, dealing with fame."

Soon after, Jessica is asked about this quote during a radio interview, and she says it's not true. She also says she and Tony "laughed" at the statement, and denies that her shirt was a dig at Carrie.

“Tony and I both laughed at that,” Jessica told the Woody and Jim show. “Yeah, we got a chuckle out of it.” The actress-singer then joked that she even “looked at his call log” just to make sure, before adding, “I’m kidding! I’m not that girl!” In the September issue of Allure magazine, Carrie implied that her ex-boyfriend was just a phone call away, saying, “The phone will ring and it'll be (Tony), and I'll maybe not answer.”  But Jessica insists it’s “definitely” not true, and “if Tony wanted to call her or be with her, he would.” While she was on the subject of dispelling Carrie-related rumors, Jessica cleared up the controversy about her “Real Girls Eat Meat” shirt.  “I wore it because I thought it was funny,” she said. “I don’t know what Carrie eats. I didn’t know she only eats vegetables.” (Source)

September 2008

Fans of the Cleveland Browns use both Jessica and Carrie's likenesses to taunt Tony during a game versus the Cowboys.

October 2008

John, who has somewhat been in a relationship with Jennifer Aniston since May 2008, shows up to Jessica's parents' Halloween party, which she is attending with Tony.

If John texted or emailed, I would hold up my phone and tell Tony immediately. He knew the hold John had over me, and it was like telling your sponsor when you're triggered. He'd seen how I reacted when John randomly showed up at my parents' Halloween party in Encino. I had no idea he was coming and was shocked. ... Not how you want to run into your ex with your current boyfriend standing right next to you. John routinely used his friendship with Ashlee's then-husband, Pete Wentz, as an excuse to stay in the Simpson family orbit. My parents knew what he had done to me, but John was always so charming. (Source: Open Book)

November 2008 

Carrie tries to smooth things over from` her previous comments about Tony calling her, and says she did that interview a long time before it ever came out.

“See, this is always a tricky thing,” Underwood answers. “I don’t think people realize that when you do an interview, the magazine comes out six months later. It was just something that was said in passing, and I would never mean to say anything to hurt anybody or to stir up anything, because I’m just not about drama. At all. I might be mad too,” Underwood adds, “if somebody said my boyfriend was calling some other girl. So I can definitely see where she would be coming from. But I haven’t talked to him since, like, May.” (Source)

But Tony was dating Jessica in May, so this possibly could lend credence to the June 2008 reports that Jessica was upset about him communicating with Carrie — despite Jessica's denials.

May 2009

Everyone seems to move on with their lives, with the exception of John. After ending his nine-month relationship with Jennifer Aniston, he has set his sights back on Jessica.

According to her memoir, John remains friends with Jessica's parents, which keeps him connected to her life. It is interesting, and strange, to note that it is Jessica's father's connection to Tony that gets them together in the first place, and it is her parents' connection to John that keeps him in her orbit.

He told them he had read my Vanity Fair cover story that came out in May. My parents told me he went on and on about it. He emailed me about it, too, telling me how amazing it was and that he loved me and wanted me back. (Source: Open Book)

June 2009

John's pursuit of Jessica intensifies, according to her memoir.

As we got closer and closer to July and my birthday, he ramped up his wooing of my family. He told them in no uncertain terms that he had changed, and he could tell I had changed, too. "I need her back," he said. "I'm in love with her."

July 2009

Jessica and Tony are seen out on July 1 at a golfing event with Tiger Woods, but they will break up only eight days later.

Ironically, after all the hullabaloo in the press about Tony maybe calling Carrie, it is Jessica and John's communicaton that leads to the demise of their relationship.

The day before Jessica's birthday, on July 9, Tony breaks up with Jessica.

Radar Online orginally reported this story back in 2009:

Dumping someone before their birthday weekend seems especially harsh, but a source tells RadarOnline.com exclusively that Tony Romo had good reason for calling it quits with Jessica Simpson the night before her Barbie and Ken-themed bash. He found messages from her ex John Mayer! Flying into Los Angeles on Thursday, Romo quickly made up for lost time with Simpson but their reunion quickly took a turn for the worse. “They were hanging out and he picked up her phone and she got defensive about it,” the source revealed. “Tony found messages from John and went ballistic.” While the couple has had their fair share of rocky patches during their relationship, the idea of Simpson possibly cheating with Mayer was the straw that broke the camel’s back: “Tony dumped her right then. He walked out and that was it.” (Source)

And in her 2020 memoir, Jessica confirmed that this was the true story.

Simpson claims that her father brought Mayer over to their home in Los Angeles when she was in town. “By a fire in the backyard, he stood and told all of us that he loved me and that we could all trust him to be a good man. I told him I would always love him, but I was with Tony,” she said. “But I didn’t tell Tony. I broke my own rule of full disclosure about any contact, even accidental, with John.” Soon after, Romo saw an email from Mayer on Simpson’s phone and suspected they were seeing each other behind his back. “I hadn’t cheated on Tony at all, but I could not lie and say I hadn’t even seen him,” she said. “And within that second, he broke up with me right there. Two years, gone with an email.”

After clearing his head, Jessica says in her memoir that Tony realized she was telling the truth and had not cheated. But, she decided that breaking up was the right thing to do:

When he said he wanted me back, I was honest with him. “No, you did what I needed to do,” I said. “Thank you.” “This is really over?” “You broke up with me, so yes,” I said. “It’s over.”

Jessica states in her book that she did end up reconciling with John privately after her breakup with Tony, for a brief and regrettable time.

September 2009

Media outlets report that Tony is dating Candice Crawford. Funnily enough, Candice is the sister of Chace Crawford, who briefly dated Carrie in 2007. At the time, Candice was host of the Cowboys' weekend sports show, Special Edition, which is presumably connected to how she met Tony.

December 2009

Carrie gets in one last word about Tony, when she's asked if he's the inspiration for her song "Cowboy Casanova."

The country crooner recently told Esquire magazine that her hit song, “Cowboy Casanova,” was definitely not about the NFL quarterback. “No. I would never immortalize a guy that did me wrong,” Underwood told the men’s magazine. “I would never give him that much credit.” (Source)

This same month, Carrie gets engaged to hockey player Mike Fisher, who she has been dating since 2008.

February 2010

Jessica states in her memoir that she remained connected to John until his infamous February 2010 interview with Playboy. His comments about her and other women are the turning point for Jessica.

“That girl is like crack cocaine to me,” Mayer said of Simpson. “Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f—ing snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f–k you, I would start selling all my s–t just to keep f—ing you.'”

Jessica speaks on her reaction in her memoir:

I didn't accept his apology. I deleted all his contact information from my phone. I was done with this man in a way I never thought was possible. When he reached out to me, I changed my number and changed my email. Delete.

May 2010

Jessica begins dating former NFL player, Eric Johnson.

July 2010

Carrie marries Mike Fisher.

November 2010

Jessica announces her engagement to Eric. They will marry in 2014.

December 2010

Tony and Candice get engaged. They marry in 2011.

Where are they now?

Tony, Carrie, and Jessica are still married to their spouses as of 2024.

Jessica released her memoir, "Open Book" in 2020, and openly discussed her struggles with alcohol abuse and getting sober in 2017.

John went on to have another off-and-on celebrity relationship with Katy Perry from 2012-2015 and was immortalized as a terrible boyfriend who took advantage of a 19-year-old in the Taylor Swift song "Dear John." He has never gotten married.

[ilookedintoit]

In Another's Eyes: Garth & Trisha, Part 2

Following Trisha's second divorce, tabloids run wild with stories about her and Garth. Their longtime friendship, recent collaborations, and the shakiness of Garth's own marriage do nothing but lend credence to these rumors in people's minds.

It won't be long before Garth eventually files for divorce himself, making way for the formation of one of country music's most powerful and long-awaited couples.

1999

Fall 1999

Tabloids like Star and the National Enquirer waste no time printing stories about Garth and Trisha in the midst of her divorce.

From Star Magazine:

Trisha Yearwood has called it quits on her five-year marriage — and STAR can now reveal it was her special relationship with superstar Garth Brooks that did the damage.  Insiders say that Brooks' incessant late night calls, secret codes and his onstage crooning with Yearwood drove her husband Robert Reynolds, bass guitarist for the country-rock group The Mavericks, to issue Trisha an ultimatum — and she walked out the door.  "Robert was going crazy over the late-night phone calls Garth made to Trisha and how much he seemed to occupy her thoughts and her time," says an insider. "To make matters worse, Trisha has been telling people that Garth was the love of her life and that if he had been single when they first met they might have married.  "Robert really isn't the jealous type, but the closeness between his wife and Garth Brooks made him uneasy. If you see them on stage, no one can doubt the chemistry between them." Now, Nashville is waiting for the other shoe to drop. The country music capital is abuzz with talk that Sandy Brooks intends to end her 13-year marriage to Garth because the singer pays too little attention to his family — and too much attention to his old friend Trisha.  "Garth and Trisha have known each other a long time and have looked for excuses throughout their careers to spend time together," says the source. "They may not be having an affair, but it's clear they have strong feelings for one another. A lot of people think they may wind up together, eventually." (October 19, 1999)

From the National Enquirer:

Trisha Yearwood's divorce suit has set tongues wagging that she's carrying on a secret affair with superstar Garth Brooks!  The country songbird cited "irreconcilable differences" when she filed legal papers to end her five-year marriage to musician Robert Reynolds of The Mavericks.  But there'd been talk for months their marriage was collapsing — and that 35-year-old Trisha was involved with Garth, sources say.  Speculation started when Trisha and Garth teamed up for a passionate duet at the American Music Awards show earlier this year.  Then rumblings of trouble hit Garth's marriage.  Garth, who has three young daughters with wife Sandy, strongly denies any trouble in paradise.  But then Trisha showed up at the Academy of Country Music Awards show in May without her wedding ring. Garth himself has been seen recently not wearing his wedding band. That added more fuel to the fire, even though Trisha later explained she'd left the ring on a dressing room table. "Robert really thinks Trisha and Garth were up to something," says an insider.  "After all, Trisha would be on the road with Garth or she'd fly in to one of Garth's concerts or she'd be on 'Hollywood Squares' with Garth or she'd join Garth in Ireland to sing a love song on his TV special. It was all Trisha and Garth. Together. All over the place. "Garth has gone to great lengths to deny any involvement with other women and to say he loves his wife and he's staying with her.  "But Robert is convinced Trisha and Garth were having an affair and she's divorcing him so she'll finally be free for Garth."  (October 19, 1999)

And another from the National Enquirer:

Garth Brooks was so obsessed with fellow country star Trisha Yearwood that he walked out on his wife in a desperate bid to win Trisha's heart!  But even though Trisha's marriage was collapsing, she turned him down flat.  "Garth left his wife Sandy during the summer for one reason only -- to try to make Trisha a permanent part of his life," a close source told The ENQUIRER. "Garth told Trisha, 'I've loved you ever since we started working together.' He even told Trisha he'd left Sandy for her."  But Garth, 37, was stunned when Trisha told him, "I'm sorry, it's not going to happen. I love you as a friend — that's all."  While friends insist that Brooks was just one factor in the couple's split, the billionaire country star has haunted the marriage of Trisha and Robert for more than a year, the close source revealed.  "Garth bombarded her with gifts and cards and left romantic messages on her answering machine, not caring that Bobby or guests could hear the messages.  "A friend who visited the house last Christmas told me, 'Trisha had a card from Garth openly displayed. On the front were flowers, and inside was a very romantic message that practically amounted to a love letter.' It was there for anyone to read — and Trisha didn't seem to care." "Bobby was so angry he told friends, 'I feel like punching the guy out.' But in the end he never even talked to Garth about it.  "Trisha's been quite open with Bobby about Garth. She told him that Garth is obsessed with her. But she insisted that although they became close from touring together, she doesn't share his romantic feelings.  "Soon after Trisha turned Garth down, he got back together with Sandy and the kids.  (November 9, 1999)

Though immediate attention is on Garth possibly being involved in or responsible for Trisha's divorce, comments on the Usenet groups at the time have fan talk of Robert being unfaithful on the road, with claims from posters such as this one:

"I *do* know that Robert is a sweet man, but I also know for a fact that he had a roving eye. He tried to put the make on one of my best friends (I saw and heard it all), not knowing that her fiance was standing about 6 or 7 feet away from us. I remember being very angry afterwards about it....I really like both Robert and Trisha. Who knows why the marriage ended? I imagine that "roving eye" had something to do with it though. Too bad."

Another poster claimed:

"I find it most amusing that the tabs are recycling this ancient garbage while ignoring the *real* reason behind the split - Robert's philandering on the road."

December 1999

On December 15, during an interview with The Nashville Network's Crook & Chase Show, Garth reveals he is planning to possibly retire in the next year.

Garth Brooks, the biggest-selling act in country music history, said Wednesday that he “probably” will retire next year to spend more time with his three young daughters. “I never ever though in my life I’d say this, but music is not the first thing in my life anymore,” Brooks said. “Those girls somehow came along and they just take your energy and all of a sudden all you want to do is you want to do things that make them smile.”  Brooks, whose daughters with wife, Sandy, are 3, 5, and 7, said he will “lay low” for nine or 10 months, plan a big party and “probably announce our retirement at the end of the year.”  (Associated Press)

2000

January

Garth talks about his marriage struggles while accepting an award for Artist of the Decade at the American Music Awards on January 17:

"To my wife Sandy, it's no mystery that our future, we don't know what's going to happen, but you can't deny that the last decade has been because of God and you."

“Sandy and my relationship deserves the time to be worked on, and right now we’re doing that and trying real hard, and that’s it.” Though there have been rumblings about the breakup of Brooks and his wife, Sandy, she accompanied him to the show and even came backstage with him, smiling on the sidelines while he talked to the press. (Press of Atlantic)

Garth also addresses his marriage issues in an interview with Good Morning American on January 20.

Several of you were quite miffed that I didn’t tell you what Garth Brooks said about his “troubled marriage” Thursday on Good Morning America. Well, excuuuuuse me!  Garth, in short, said that his marriage is troubled. Well, actually, his exact words were that it’s “not in a good place” right now. He had some rambling quotes about respect and whether he and Sandy made each other like themselves, and… Oy.  In yesterday’s USA Today, Sandy and the kids took out a half-page ad congratulating Garth on all his accomplishments. So who knows?   (The Tennessean, “Brad About You” column)

February 2000

Garth plays a surprise set at the Bluebird Cafe in Nashville on February 11, and according to The Tennessean, Sandy is there with him.

April 2000

In an interview with the Calgary Sun, Trisha denies the tabloid rumors about her and Garth and seems very irritated about them.

Everybody knows the rumours! Apparently Trisha Yearwood was putting a wrench in Garth Brooks' marriage. Yearwood and Brooks were recording and touring together, and when she and Mavericks' bass player Robert Reynolds called it quits last fall after more than five years of marriage, the rumour mill went into high gear, linking the two country stars. Yearwood and Brooks have denied any romance and it's not one of Yearwood's favourite topics. "People who want to talk about that kind of stuff, they must not realize what it would be like to be in my shoes, and to have a family and parents that you love and want to protect," Yearwood tells the Sun during a phone interview to promote her new album Real Live Woman. "It's gotten to be such an ugly society. I know the truth and I know who I am, so I don't care what people think." So when these stories come out, do you feel like calling up Sandy (Mrs. Garth Brooks) to explain yourself? "I know Sandy well and I see her and it's not an issue," Yearwood replies flatly. Well, then, can you two joke about it? "It's not worth talking about," she says, closing the door on that subject. (Calgary Sun)

May 2000

A report in The Tennessean douses hopes that Garth and Trisha will ever release the duets album that they have previously teased.

Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood have talked for several years about making a duet album. It appears, however, that that's all it will amount to. If they were going to do it, Trisha said, they should have had it in release when they toured together in 1998. "I feel like the golden opportunity was then, and it passed," she said. While the two are friends, they have some distinct musical differences, and finding 10 songs they could agree on, she says, would be close to impossible. "The things we have in common are really in common, and the things we don't have in common are really not in common, and so with music, that means there are some songs that we just totally get, that both of us get. "And there are songs on my albums that he totally doesn't get, and there are songs on his albums that I totally don't get. Then there are the few that come together, and to find a whole album of those, someone would probably either be injured or killed in the process."

October 2000

Garth tells Billboard magazine and his rep confirms October 7, 2000, that he and Sandy are planning to divorce.

In addition to taking the year off to think about your career, you repeatedly said you were taking the time off to spend with your family and work on your marriage. How is that going? As for my personal life, Sandy and I both agree that we need to get divorced. We just don't know... Right now, we're focusing on the impact it will have on the children and how to handle that best, to remain parents even if we don't remain husband and wife. When I think about how hard a year this has been, you always have this thing in the back of your mind going, "Pfft, you don't know what hard is." I've been very fortunate. The people have taken care of me. I've never wanted for anything. But personally, the loss of my mother [in August 1999], compiled with coming off tour for the first time in 11 years — compiled with coming home to a woman where you two seem to get along better when you're apart and facing that and facing up to that — have been the highlights as far as the hard times. But the trade that I made [is that] I am an infinite number of times closer to my children than I've been the entire seven years of their lives before [this year off]. And I can't help but think when I lie down at night and say my prayers that that in itself to me is worth the trade I've made to get here.

A few weeks later, Garth confirms his intent to enter retirement in order to spend more time with his children:

Citing family and career concerns, country music star Garth Brooks said Thursday he plans to retire after releasing and promoting one more album. "I'm here to announce my retirement," Brooks said at a news conference before a gala to celebrate 100 million album sales. "I've done my career with the old saying, 'Burn bright, burn fast,' " he said. "I wasn't going to be somebody that we could come to really appreciate, like Billy Joel and James Taylor, and know that their stuff was timeless." Brooks, 38, said he didn't want the new album, scheduled for release next summer, to be tagged a "farewell" project. At some point, he also may record a duet album with Trisha Yearwood and make a soundtrack album to accompany a film project from his production company in Los Angeles. "My children and I are together every day," Brooks said, "and every night I tuck those children in, and I'm responsible for their safety. I feel good about that. I have asked my wife to be father and mother long enough. It's time for me to accept my responsibilities, and accept the true rewards that come with being a father." (Source)

2001

Garth and Sandy continue to live near each other as they co-parent their daughters. According to Garth's documentary, the two would make sure their daughters saw both of them every single day.

After the divorce, Brooks built a new house across the road from Mahl, and the two shared custody of their daughters. They decided not to hire nannies. For Brooks, who was used to spending much of the year on the road, this was a big transition. “I was living with three strange women that I did not know. They were 8, 6 and 4,” he remembered. “I was about to get a crash course in females … and my best friend showed up.” That best friend was Trisha Yearwood—“Ms. Yearwood,” as Brooks still refers to her. 

June 2001

It is not clear when Garth and Trisha actually began embarking on a true relationship after his divorce filing.

Eight months after Garth's divorce announcement, in a June 2001 interview with Billboard magazine, Trisha laments being unable thus far to balance her career with her personal life, and says she needs time on her own but still wants a family:

How do you balance your personal and professional lives? Do you feel you've made sacrifices for your career?  Looking back, I have sacrificed my personal life because it's impossible—I thought it was possible—but it's been impossible for me to have success in both areas, especially being married to another artist when you are both gone all the time. Why do you get married to be apart? It just doesn't work. I've had a lot of time this year to think. I need to be on my own for a while. I've never been alone. I've always been in relationships. It's been a really hard year, but really good for me to learn how to do that. I think I'll be a better partner to somebody by learning how to be OK on my own. But, the other side of it, I could definitely see myself waking up in 10 years, in a blink of an eye, and I'm 46 years old: I'm still single, and I don't have any children. I can see how it can happen, and I don't want that for myself. I don't think I'm a loner. I'm a family-oriented person.  While I'm sitting here making records and doing this and this and this, everybody else in my life is having their children, going to soccer games, going to church on Sundays and having families for dinner, which is the way I grew up. It's what I want for myself. I know the danger for me is to be right where I am in the next 10 years, unless I make a conscious effort to not have that kind of life.

July 2001

Trisha talks about her divorce from Robert Reynolds and insists that it wasn't his jealousy of her that caused their problems.

Country music star Trisha Yearwood says her divorce from musician Robert Reynolds did not have anything to do with the fact that she's had more commercial success than he has had. The couple, who had no children, married in 1994 and split five years later. Reynolds is a member of the country-rock band the Mavericks. "They sold four million albums. I think they did really good!" Yearwood, 36, said in the July 21 issue of TV Guide. "It's hard to go through something like (divorce), and everyone has written their take," she added. "There's no way that I could possibly set every person in America straight about how all that went down."

November 2001

Garth's Coast to Coast concert special for CBS airs on TV. Trisha makes an appearance during his concert and they sing "Squeeze Me In," which is their duet on Garth's new album, Scarecrow.

December 2001

Garth and Sandy's divorce is finalized and reported on December 17, 2001. Sandy reportedly gets a $125 million settlement.

The divorce is final for Garth Brooks and his wife of nearly 15 years, Sandy.  The 39-year-old country singer cited irreconcilable differences in a complaint filed in November 2000 in Davidson County Circuit Court. The couple had been separated since March 1999, according to court papers.  Karen Byrd, spokeswoman for Brooks, would not comment Monday beyond confirming that the singer's divorce is final. 

2002

I think it is safe to say that Garth and Trisha are officially together by early 2002 at the latest.

Garth doesn't specify the timing, but says in his 2019 documentary that after "thirteen, fourteen years [of saying] 'It can't be,'" one particular occurrence prompted him to finally initiate something more with Trisha:

"I heard someone tell me that Trisha’s mother, Gwen, had said she would be proud if Garth Brooks was her son-in-law, and I think that’s what gave me the courage to pursue her daughter."

Trisha: I always say I thought I was happy in my life and I just think I didn’t understand that this is what love is really is, and I just had no idea. It’s a ton of bricks that lands on you and you have no choice. So I’m terrified, but I also had spent how many years avoiding it that I finally decided to just run on toward it. 

January 2002

Garth, Trisha, Chely Wright, and “Australian newcomer Keith Urban” host an invite-only show the weekend of January 5, 2002, to benefit the Nashville Songwriters International’s battle to protect songwriter copyrights. 

Per The Tennessean, Trisha was initially slated to host the event but had to back out due to illness. So who should fly in for the event from New York City in order to be her replacement on short notice? Her good friend Garth. Trisha still attends the event to introduce Garth and show her support. 

February 2002

Garth visits several schools as part of a Read Across America campaign at the end of February, and Trisha joins in for a few of his stops.

March 2002

Garth and Trisha are reported to be an official couple after they are seen holding hands at songwriter Harlan Howard's funeral on March 19, 2002.

The paper reports Brooks had his arm around Yearwood, and observers said the two were seen holding hands several times that day, in the seats and backstage. Brooks and Yearwood have been seen together at various restaurants and social functions. Reports even say the two have told friends they're dating. Brooks and Yearwood have been friends and have recorded multiple duets together. Neither artist could be reached for a comment. (Source)

Pictured above: Garth and Trisha make their red carpet debut in June 2002, three months after the first report about them being a couple.

June 2002

On June 13, 2002, Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood make their first red carpet appearance together at a Songwriters Hall of Fame event in New York.

May 2005

Garth says in "The Road I'm On" that when he decided to propose to Trisha, he sat down with the girls and Sandy to let them know ahead of time. In response, Sandy said:

“I think this is a really good move for you, and I think this is a really good move for our children.” 

On May 25, 2005, Garth proposes to Trisha on stage in front of thousands of people at a special event unveiling bronze statues of Brooks and other country music legends in Bakersfield, California.

Country music icon Garth Brooks proposed marriage to longtime girlfriend and music star Trisha Yearwood on stage Wednesday night. The proposal was made in front of more than 7,000 screaming fans at the Legends In Bronze concert and dedication at Buck Owens' Crystal Palace. Brooks got on one knee and asked a teary-eyed Yearwood to be his wife. She smiled and nodded in acceptance, then they kissed in front of a sold-out audience, which went wild.

Brooks was on hand to see a bronze statue built in his likeness unveiled along with nine other statues of country music greats at Owens' popular steakhouse. Honorees included Brooks, Owens, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, George Strait, George Jones, Elvis Presley, Hank Williams Sr., Bob Wills and Johnny Cash. The statues were made by sculptor Bill Rains, who had made the statues of Owens and Cash already on display at the Crystal Palace. The project took him two years. The proposal came as a surprise at the event where Owens, Brooks, Jones and Haggard were to be honored for their vast contributions to country music.

With Brooks as the most contemporary artist honored, his statue was unfurled last. After a video tribute to Brooks, the country hit-maker came out with Yearwood to take a closer look at the statue. Yearwood appeared to be straying off with Brooks to look at a statue of Bob Wills when suddenly Brooks got down on one knee, causing the audible gasps of Yearwood and the thousands in attendance. Owens congratulated the couple after Yearwood accepted Brooks' ring. "This is one of the greatest days of my life. Thank God!" shouted Brooks after Yearwood accepted. (Source)

December 2005

They marry in a private ceremony at home in Oklahoma on December 10, 2005.

“They said it is the perfect Christmas gift to each other, and they couldn’t be happier,” said Nancy Seltzer, a publicist for the couple.

2006

February 2006

In an interview with PARADE Magazine, Garth proclaims that he always loved Trisha, but that they did not have an affair.

“I think I was always in love with Trisha,” he said, “even when I was a boy, before I ever knew her. She was always the woman I loved.”  “The minute I met her, I felt she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. When she walked into that room, all the air went out of me, and all I could breathe in was the way this woman smelled. When you’re with her, she makes you feel amazing! … The moment I saw her, the place where I was standing became Wonderland.” In all that time, Brooks told me, he and Yearwood were not intimate.  “She was married or I was, or we both were,” he said. “I wouldn’t screw up her life, and she wouldn’t hurt someone else.” “I had no idea we’d ever be together,” Yearwood said. “It was something we never discussed. For years, I couldn’t tell Garth, ‘I have a crush on you.’ In both our lives, we traveled a lot because of our careers. We both thought, ‘Why be in another relationship just to be apart?’”  “When we got married, I knew it was because I wanted to be with him forever,” said Trisha, 41. “I was willing to compromise. I moved here to his town, where his ex-wife is. Seeing him with his kids makes me love him even more. I get it now. I am here because I love this man. He’s a great dad.” 

Stepmom

Trisha will say in the years after their marriage that it took an adjustment period for both her and Garth's daughters when she came into their lives.

The country singer admits that at first, she wasn’t sure what to do or how to be around Garth’s daughters. The couple split visitation with Garth’s ex-wife Sandy Mahl, and had the kids every other day until 6 p.m. Said Trisha, "I would be sitting there thinking, ‘What do we do until 6 o’clock? I don’t know what to do with children.’"  However, those feelings didn’t last long for the 43-year-old, who says she now thinks of herself as a "Bonus Mom" for the girls. "It became, ‘Okay, I’m still scared, but it’s not as bad,’ and then it became, ‘I love having them all the time.’ You fall in love with them. You learn why people have kids." Trisha added that each of the kids have "distinctively different personalities." "We’ve all got a different relationship, and we just kind of [take it] day by day…I sort of earned my way, and I continue to earn my way, with each of them." (Source)

When Trisha Yearwood wed fellow country star Garth Brooks in 2005, she married into a blended family. It was uncharted territory for Yearwood, who never had kids of her own. “When you don’t have children, you have the luxury of being selfish because it’s just about you,” Yearwood, 57, told SheKnows. “You don’t have to think about somebody else first. And as an artist, it’s easy to be really egocentric because your job is to be thinking about your career, what you have to do next, how you’re going to take yourself to the next level.” Yearwood acknowledged there were challenges in the beginning. The Grammy-winning singer had never parented before and had to find her footing. But she has since formed an unbreakable bond with Brooks’ three daughters... “It was a gift that I received from Garth and the girls of having them in a life that I didn’t know I was missing,” she said. “I can’t imagine my life without them.” (Source)

In the 2019 documentary "The Road I'm On," Garth's eldest daughter Taylor admits she did not handle Trisha's entrance into their lives that well at first.

Taylor: "I wasn’t the nicest to Trisha when she first came. We would go out in the backyard, and I would catch tarantulas in Ziploc bags, and I’d put them in the freezer so that way, when Trisha would open the freezer, a tarantula would fall out. Just terrible things."

But, Taylor says she now sometimes will affectionately call Trisha "Mama T," same as her sisters. As middle daughter August said: "I have my mom and my Mama T and my dad."

Trisha: "They never made me feel like the evil stepmother; they might have thought it, [laughs] but they never said it."

And Garth's ex-wife, Sandy, also voiced her approval of her kids' bonus mom:

"We enjoy our kids together. I love and appreciate Trisha. It’s good."

Since their wedding, Garth and Trisha make the effort to spend time together, something that wasn't always the case in their previous marriages.

Trisha: We made a conscious effort when we got married not to be apart. Garth was retired but I wasn’t. So when I moved to Oklahoma I cut my tour dates way down. Then I eventually didn’t tour. That’s how my cookbook began. It was something to do creatively that I could do at home, never dreaming it would turn into all this other stuff. [Yearwood hosts her own Emmy-winning Food Network cooking show, Trisha’s Southern Southern Kitchen and wrote three cookbooks.] 99 percent of the time we’re together. We don’t spend very many nights apart. (Source)

Looking back on the road that led them to each other, Garth said it was for the best that he and Trisha weren't able to get together when they first met in 1987.

“If we’d gotten married then, either the career wouldn’t have been what it was in the ’90s or our marriage wouldn’t have lasted. So I have to believe that things happen when they happen," Brooks observes. "I feel very lucky right now where I’m at. So even if I did have regrets, I wouldn’t change anything in fear of changing where I’m at right now.”

[ilookedintoit]

In Another's Eyes: Garth & Trisha, Part 1

When Garth Brooks met Trisha Yearwood in a Nashville studio in the late 1980s, both singers were unknown and still hoping for their big break in country music.

Though Garth would later admit he felt like he had met his wife when he and Trisha first crossed paths, the fact was he already had a wife, and Trisha had a husband. So they were friends, and Garth made Trisha a promise - if his career ever took off, he'd be sure to give her a boost in any way he could.

Just a few years later, Garth was riding a wave of major success and he needed an opener for his upcoming tour. He picked Trisha. As they both became two of the biggest names in country music, they remained friends, contributed to each other's albums, and released a Grammy-winning duet. All the time, Garth was married to his college sweetheart Sandy, producing three children.

When Garth and his wife filed for divorce, everyone predicted he and Trisha would end up together after years of tabloid rumors - and of course, they did. But did anything happen between them before he was finally single?

1986

May 1986

Garth marries Sandy Mahl on May 24, 1986, when he is 24 and she is 21.  

Garth met his future wife in 1983 when he was working as a bouncer at the Tumbleweed Ballroom, a bar in Stillwater, Oklahoma. She was a fellow student at Oklahoma State University.

Two versions of their first meeting have been told. Sandy would say in Garth's 2019 documentary, "The Road I'm On," that they met when Garth asked her to dance.

The other story that Garth told in the early 90s was that they met after Garth went into the women’s bathroom to break up a fight and found Sandy with her fist stuck in the wall.

After Brooks extricated the fist and ejected the lovely lass from the club, he tried to pick her up. “She said, ‘Drop dead!’  and called me a few other names and walked off.” “I said, ‘Well, can I call ya?’” the undaunted suitor recalls.  Sandy gave him the courage to give his music a try. He’d come to Nashville once in 1985, but was terrified on his own in the country capital and fled homeward. But with Sandy by his side, Brooks came to Music City to stay in 1987. She calmed his fears and they took jobs at a boot store while he knocked on the doors of Music Row. (The Tennessean)

1987 

June 1987

Garth and Trisha will first meet while working as demo singers at a studio in Nashville. Garth has often said he had been married for 13 months when this occurred, so it was presumably in June 1987 that they met.

Trisha was also married, having wed music producer Christopher Latham earlier that same year.

"Kent Blazy introduced me and Ms. Yearwood, and he goes, 'I knew you were gonna like her,'" Brooks recalled during a 2013 interview with Ellen DeGeneres. "When she left, he goes, 'What do you think?' "I said, 'Well, it's strange because I felt that feeling like when you just met your wife.'" (Source)

Garth and Trisha, how did you know the other person was the one? Garth: When you meet someone, you know. The problem was [when I first met her] I had been married for over a year. And that couldn’t have been wrong because you’re married in front of your family and God. You think, there must be some feeling that isn’t right. Trisha: It was probably the minute I met him, even though I didn’t know it at the time. (Source)

In Garth's 2019 documentary, "The Road I'm On," she reiterates that she had no intentions on anything ever happening.

“You feel the chemistry, it’s like there’s something here — but I’m gonna go home now… For me it was, I’m a good little southern girl, I was married, he was married. Not my world in that moment, it’s not an option. So when I left that day, I just thought he’s a nice guy, great voice, and I wish him well.”

A few years later, Trisha would recall this meeting and the promise that Garth made to her at the time:

He and Yearwood were among Music Row’s most in-demand singers of demonstration tapes; writer Kent Blazy knew them both and brought them together for a session. “That day we were singing on the same mike and doing the same licks and it was like, ‘This is really strange,’ and we really hit it off,” Yearwood recalled. “He said then, ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen with my career, but if I’m lucky enough to have some success I want to help any way I can.’ "I didn’t think about it, I put it out of my head, and went on about my business and made a living doing demos." (The Tennessean)

1989

April 1989

Garth releases his debut album "Garth Brooks" through Capitol Records Nashville in April 1989.

As he begins to achieve success, he also ends up cheating on Sandy while on the road.

When he married Sandy, he figured he’d settle down—only to give into temptation once given the chance. “I don’t see [unfaithfulness] as a necessity,” he insisted. “Anybody starting out saying, ‘Man, this has to happen’ — bullshit. It doesn’t.” During his first major tour in support of his debut album for Capitol Records, 1989’s "Garth Brooks," the entertainer was called out by friends for sleeping with other women while on the road. Sandy made an ultimatum: Stop fooling around or lose me. (Source: Garth Brooks: The Life & Times of a Country Superstar)

November 1989

One night when Garth is in Missouri for a concert, Sandy calls him and tells him that she is leaving him if he doesn't change his ways.

Then, says Sandy, ''an informant'' on tour confirmed her worst suspicions. ''Garth has always been a very sexual person,'' she says. ''It was his ego: proving he could look out, point and conquer. What made it easier to cope with was that it wasn't someone special. It didn't mean anything.''  In those heady first months, Garth admits, ''I was a spoiled ass. Responsibility, commitment was not my game.''  Sandy, who never toured with Garth back then, recalls it was the night of Nov. 4, 1989, when she nailed him by phone before a show. ''I told him my bags were packed, my plane ticket's bought, and I'm gone,'' she says. '''You come home and we'll talk, on my turf, eye to eye.''' (People Magazine)

He would tell Barbara Walters in a nationally-televised interview in 1993 about how he broke down on stage that night when trying to sing "If Tomorrow Never Comes:"

Garth: I guess you’d probably go back to playing Cape Girardeau, Missouri; this was when Sandy found about everything I’d been doing. Barbara Walters: Found out that there were other women.  Garth: I got through the first three songs fine, and “If Tomorrow Never Comes” comes up, and … there wasn’t anything else. There was nothing left, I was inside out. The band kept playing, I didn’t know what to do, and I asked them to stop and they didn’t. I asked them to stop again and they did. This place was silent. I remember walking out and the applause was there, a different kind of applause, almost like a support applause. 

Garth was able to win Sandy's forgiveness over time:

The mending took a while. ''I wanted Garth to feel my pain,'' says Sandy. ''He had hurt me so bad. I had wasted two years of my life is how I felt. I'd been the perfect little wife who thought everything was hunky-dory. The hardest thing was to keep from beating the holy s--- outta Garth at the sight of him. He was ashamed, embarrassed, and it was written all over his face. He broke down like a baby. He was on his knees, more or less beggin' me, 'I'll change, anything. You name it, I'll do it.''' And so he has. ''It took a helluva human being to forgive me,'' says Brooks. ''I had to promise I'd make this marriage work. It ain't a bed of roses now, but we bust our asses, and it works unbelievably well. For the first time in my life, I feel good about being a husband and a partner.'' As for Sandy, ''I love her to death,'' he adds solemnly. ''When I've been down, Sandy has given me strength. That's definitely given me what I have.'' (People Magazine)

1990

Garth's star is on the rise while Trisha is still looking for her breakthrough. In the meantime, Trisha provides backup vocals for Garth’s second album “No Fences,” which is released in August 1990.

Garth also introduces her to his managers, Bob Doyle and Pam Lewis, and his producer Allen Reynolds introduces Trisha to her new producer, Garth Fundis. (“I’m probably the only person in town who works with both Garths,” she quips.)

"No Fences" will inevitably be a smash hit with singles including "Friends In Low Places," "Unanswered Prayers," and "The Thunder Rolls."

October 1990

Garth wins the Horizon Award at the CMA Awards on October 8, 1990, and he insists on bringing Sandy up to the stage with him. Before accepting his award, he says:

“I’m not much good at it, but when I don’t sing I try to be a husband." 

1991

As Garth prepares for his headlining tour and Trisha prepares to release her first album, he makes good on his promise to her from a few years ago to give her a career boost when it's in his power to do so.

As her first single "She's In Love with the Boy" begins its climb to No. 1, Trisha becomes Garth's opening act on his "Ropin' the Wind" tour. Trisha will tell The Tennessean in August 1991:

“When I got my deal, he came through and offered me this tour. I’ve been really lucky to be out on the road with someone that I’d had a friendship with before – and who also happens to be the hottest thing in country music.”

In the midst of the tour, Trisha releases her debut album "Trisha Yearwood" in July. Garth sings supporting vocals on her second single "Like We Never Had A Broken Heart," which peaks at No. 4 on the country chart.

According to the 1993 book “Get Hot or Go Home” written about Trisha with her cooperation, her new success and time away on tour hastens the demise of her already “faltering” marriage.

Christopher Latham tried to get her to seek counseling with him. His wife’s response: “I just don’t see how I can get back feelings I never had.” 

They divorce without much fanfare. Trisha would later say about the marriage:

“You are encouraged to get married when you are a small-town person, and that’s what I did even though I knew it wasn’t right. I had met this guy and I thought, ‘I am never going to meet anybody who cares about me this much,’ which is probably true, so I married him. “There was just no real spark, which I think there is supposed to be. It wasn’t show business that broke us up. We wouldn’t still be married if I was back answering telephones.” (The Los Angeles Times)

In addition to her divorce, Trisha faces taboid rumors that have popped up about her and Garth having an affair. About these rumors, she will later say:

“We knew back when we decided we were going to do the tour that there would be talk,” she said. “But the first time I read it in the tabloids, I got really upset. So did my mom. I thought, ‘I’ll have to call everybody and say it isn’t true.’ “Then I figured that if you believe what the tabloids said about me having an affair with Garth, then you’ll also believe what is on the next page, which is something preposterous.”  (The Los Angeles Times)

November 1991

In November, Trisha leaves Garth's management team to sign with Ken Kragen. After a whirlwind year, she is deemed Nashville's hottest new artist.

Garth doesn't want to take credit:

“A lot of people are making the mistake of saying I introduced Trisha Yearwood to country music,” he says. “Her talent is so very, very visible that that’s like saying you introduced Wayne Gretzky to hockey.” (The Atlanta Constitution)

December 1991

STAR Magazine prints a story in its Dec. 10 issue about how Garth is "furious" about the cheating rumors surrounding him and Trisha.

Garth phoned his mother, Colleen, from Little Rock, Ark., to set the record straight. “He likes his family to hear bad news from him direct. So even while he was on tour, he made sure to call his mom specifically to tell her about the rumors that he was having an affair with Trisha Yearwood,” says a source. “He told her, ‘Mom, I just want you to know what people are saying and what they’re trying to make of an innocent situation. The rumors are false, Mom. You know I love Sandy and would never do anything to hurt her or jeopardize our marriage.’” Another associate points out that wife Sandy would never put up with sharing Garth with another woman.  “Sandy is a strong, independent woman. If there were any truth to these rumors, Trish wouldn't have been his opening act as recently as last January. If Sandy had any suspicions whatsoever, Trish wouldn’t have been anywhere near Garth. What wife would allow a possible lover so close?"

1992

February 1992

Just in time for Valentine's Day, Garth and Sandy are featured on the cover of USA Weekend, talking about how they saved their marriage after his infidelity.

Sandy Brooks, a slim, intense woman with a rapid smile, sits at a Nashville restaurant in November, picking at a plate of fried steak. She has reason to be moody. Her husband is baring his soul, she has been on the road for three days and she thinks she might be pregnant. But she’s been so busy that she hasn’t had time to take a home pregnancy test. Across from her, Garth Brooks – her husband, but more significantly, the hottest act in the hottest music in America today – is speaking quietly about the womanizing that almost ended their six-year marriage.  Sandy’s blue eyes fill with tears. “I asked myself, why do I stay here? I know I love him, but…” “She’s got every right to leave me,” Brooks finishes. “But I’m happy here,” she interrupts, the tears now spilling down. “I think it has something to do with my physical build and good looks, too,” says Brooks, trying to lighten the moment and flirtatiously batting his eyes, deep-set in a moon face under a receding hairline. It works. Sandy bursts out laughing, affectionately elbows Garth. He squeezes her shoulder. The tears retreat, the moment ends. 

Garth admits that the time his career takes him away from his wife leads to continuing struggles.

“For every day I give Sandy, I turn around and give one or two to the music,” Brooks says softly. “This six months I’m taking off? It started out as six months for Sandy and me, and I bet you we won’t have seven days in that six months.”  Sitting next to him Sandy, 27, nods in agreement. “The marriage is still together because of her, not because of me,” Brooks says. Until recently, “I had the mentality of, ‘OK, if you don’t want to put up with me, you can hit the road.’ She said, ‘OK!’ Then I finally straightened up. The wife I got back after my infidelity was 15 times the woman I had. Like, ‘I’m gonna show you that any time you leave this house, you’re losing something,’” says Garth, playfully imitating his wife.

And Sandy acknowledges that people don't understand why she is the one who gets to be married to country music's biggest star.

“A lot of people look at me and say, ‘Why you?’ I ask myself that also. My answer is, because I fell in love with a long-haired country boy long ago. I was there when it was like, how many ways can we figure out how to cook potatoes?”  ... While Sandy is happy about the unplanned baby, she continues to hope for peace, quiet and Garth. “There will come a day in my life when it is just Garth and me. I might be 75 and toothless,” she says, laughing. “But that’s what keeps me going.” 

March 1992

After wrapping up her opening act stint on Garth’s seven-month tour, Trisha reflects on what it has meant to her:

“Anybody would have killed to be on this tour,” she said between sips on a soft drink. “It was scary, intimidating and wonderful. I know a lot of people came to see Garth, but we had something to offer.” Their careers were not merely linked by the 80-city tour. Yearwood sang harmony on his albums “No Fences” and “Ropin’ the Wind,” which together have sold 12 million copies. In return, he sang harmony on her album and co-wrote two of the 10 songs, including her second hit, “Like We Never Had a Broken Heart.”  “He’s been like a big brother to me,” she said. (Associated Press)

Around this same time, Trisha has begun dating Robert Reynolds, bass player for The Mavericks.

Yearwood met Reynolds at a party given by her label, MCA. “It was really one of those corny across-the-room kind of things,” Yearwood says. “I saw him and he kind of saw me and we rounded the ice sculpture and met in the middle.”  (The Atlanta Journal)

April 1992

In April, a pregnant Sandy accompanies Garth to the ACM Awards. She has had some health scares during the pregnancy, and on stage as he accepts just one of the awards he will win that night, he thanks everyone for their concerns for her and the baby.

July 1992

Sandy gives birth to their first child, Taylor.

August 1992

As Garth struggles with the seemingly impossible task of balancing career and family, he toys with the idea of retirement. He tells the Edmond Evening Sun:

With the birth of a daughter, Taylor Mayne Pearl Brooks, the former Oklahoma State student is considering cutting short his career in favor of fatherhood and a more traditional home life with wife Sandy. “Fatherhood’s new for me and it’s kind of thrown me for a loop,” Brooks said. “One thing that I always recall that my parents gave me was time and attention. “And I think children deserve that. My occupation doesn’t allow me to give time and attention. So I’ve got to find a way, good Lord willing, to do ’em both. “If I can’t do ’em both, then I must not choose music over (my wife and daughter).” Brooks has a cutback in his schedule planned after December, at which time he said he will make a decision on his future. “I’m saying my prayers and hopefully I’ll make the right choice.”

1993

January 1993

Somewhat cynical reporting will claim this narrative of Garth wanting to retire is “partly a ploy during heated contract negotiations with his label, Liberty Records.”

Whatever the case, Garth ultimately does not retire and signs a new lucrative, 20-year contract with Liberty in January 1993. 

February 1993

Trisha tells a reporter that she and Robert Reynolds are celebrating their first year together as a couple.

“It’s really nice to be with somebody who understands it (the country music business) because he does it, but who also understands that life is more important. When we’re together we have a five-minute business rule – we can talk about business for five minutes and that’s it.”  (The Commercial Appeal)

March 1993

Trisha and Robert get engaged.

But she’s not about to abandon her career. “I would like a family someday, but I’ve been pretty unconventional up until now, so I don’t think I have to stop and have three kids.”  (The Atlanta Journal)

June 1993

Trisha talks again about Garth's influence in getting her career started and the tabloid rumors that swirled around them.

Q: Were you surprised when Brooks picked you as his opening act? A: I was actually, because only a handful of people believed in me then. He took a really big risk. But when we met, he said, “I love your voice, and if things go well, I want to help you out.” And he obviously meant it. He sticks by what he believes in; that’s why he is who he is. Q: At the time, the tabloids wrote that you two were having an affair. A: It wasn’t true, and when I first read it, I thought I’d better call everybody and tell them it wasn’t true. Now I’ve learned that it’s part of [being in show business] – if you’re successful, you’re going to be in the tabloids. But I never even got talked about in high school! I was always a good girl. Q: Brooks must have taught you a lot. A: He’s like a big brother to me. He taught me about the things you’re supposed to do, like visiting radio shows. I learned a lot watching him with the fans – I never saw him be anything but gracious. He always remembered why he was there. (Simi Valley News)

1994

April 1994

Trisha says she and Garth have talked about possibly doing a duets album and going on tour together. She reiterates that he is like a "big brother" to her.

“I’ve made three albums now, and I want to do different things,” she said. One of those different things involves a “sort of side career” of duets with longtime friend Brooks. They recently talked backstage at an awards show about doing a duet album and maybe touring together as a twosome. They’ve talked about it for some time, Yearwood said, and finally decided to quit talking and do it. “There really haven’t been any famous duet partners in a long time, for more than one song or album,” she said. “I do think there’s a place for that. We’ve always traded harmonies on each other’s albums. “Garth’s always been like a big brother to me,” she continued. “We’re not just two voices singing at each other.”  (Fort Worth Star Telegram)

May 1994

May is a big month for both Garth and Trisha.

On May 3, 1994, Sandy gives birth to her and Garth's second daughter, August.

Garth is announced as the ACM Entertainer of the Year this same day, but is unable to even accept his award via remote feed because he has gone to the hospital to await the birth.

And after more than two years together, Trisha marries Robert Reynolds on May 21, 1994, at the Ryman in Nashville with a small invitation list. They honeymoon afterward in Ireland.

December 1994

Garth indicates that he and Trisha have already tried to put together a duets album that didn't work, but are not giving up on the idea:

He still plans an album of duets with old buddy Trisha Yearwood; their first attempt wasn’t up to snuff, he reports. 

He also says he wants to put his family first.

“Now every minute I don’t spend with my family I spend with music, not the other way around.”  (Knight Ridder News Service)

1995

Spring-Summer 1995

Sandy is frequently at Garth's side during public events, including the People's Choice Awards in March, ACM Awards in May, and his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony in June.

October 1995

Trisha tells the New York Daily News that she and her husband of 17 months are juggling busy schedules.

“We’re so busy, we practically have to make an appointment to see each other,” said the Georgia peach. “But it’s been a good year for us.” With The Mavericks being white-hot, Yearwood and Reynolds have been crossing flight paths since their wedding a year ago. 

1996

July 1996

Garth and Sandy welcome their third daughter, Allie, on July 28, 1996.

August 1996

Trisha and Robert are still in what sounds like a long-distance marriage.

Yearwood’s extensive touring schedule is keeping her away from husband Robert Reynolds even more than usual. Reynolds plays bass in The Mavericks, the popular Miami-rooted roots-rock/country band, which is also on tour this summer. “I think, so far, the longest we’ve been apart this summer is right now which is two weeks,” Yearwood said last Friday. “And we’re going to see each other because I’m going to California and he’s going to be near there, so he’s going to get on a plane and come see me. We do that a lot. “We really go that extra mile to really seek out those days we can spend together. Sometimes it means flying into Nashville, like if I’m home and he’s on the road and has a day off, he’ll fly in and take me to a movie. It’s an expensive movie. But that’s kind of how we make it work.”  “Things will eventually slow down for us – we won’t be touring this heavily the rest of our lives. We’ll have plenty of time to talk about what we used to do.” (Lincoln Journal Star – Aug. 23, 1996)

September 1996

In a September 10, 1996, cover story for Country Weekly, Trisha's life is deemed a "fairy tale" and Trisha gushes about Robert.

“I’m amazed we’ve been together for four years and still feel this way about each other. It’s kind of moving into a deeper level, even.” Life’s an adventure when the happy twosome finds time together, Trisha revealed. “He’s a laugh a minute. The last time we were home we put up the tepee I gave him for Christmas, and he was like a 12-year-old.”  Asked how much time she and Robert get to spend together, Trisha said: “Believe it or not, we see each other quite a lot. He’s on the road and I’m on the road, but when one of us is off, we often fly to be with each other. We’ve got a lot of frequent flyer miles, let me tell you.”

October 1996

Garth and Sandy renew their marriage vows at the Good Shepherd United Methodist Church in Madison, Tennessee, on October 26.

1997

May 1997

Garth films a concert special in Ireland that will air on TV the following year. Trisha flies there to provide harmonies and sing a duet with him for the Ireland concerts.

She talks about it to The Tennessean ahead of the filming and how she tries to balance real life with her demanding schedule:

Fitting normalcy into a jet-set schedule is difficult. Tomorrow morning, for example, she boards a plane for Ireland, where she’s slated to perform with Garth Brooks as the “backup chick singer” for a series of concerts. “Yesterday I get home, I’ve been on the road for three weeks,” Yearwood recounts. “I’m like, ‘OK, the shrubs have not been trimmed in the three years I’ve lived here,’ and I just got out a pair of weed whackers – the big shears – and I did the whole house. Robert comes home and goes, ‘What happened?’ I’m like, ‘I don’t know, I went nuts.’”  … Yearwood consciously fights that tendency toward isolation. Husband Reynolds, with whom she’ll celebrate their third anniversary during the Ireland trip, pushes her toward normalcy, despite his own bit of fame as the bass player for the Grammy-winning band The Mavericks.  “Robert is totally undaunted by success,” she notes. “He’ll go out on the road with me where everybody knows he’s out there, and he’ll go out in the audience with a laminate (backstage pass) on, and sign autographs for an hour. He’s so unafraid of just getting out there in the middle of it, and he encourages me, in turn, to be that way.”

Robert is along for the Ireland trip and they mark three years married:

Congrats to Trisha Yearwood and The Mavericks’ Robert Reynolds who are celebrating their third wedding anniversary today (May 21) with a trip to the tropical island where they first honeymooned. Trisha’s been in Ireland opening shows for Garth Brooks. (The Tennessean)

August 1997

Trisha's new album, Songbook, is released in August 1997 featuring a duet with Garth, "In Another's Eyes." Though they have worked together in the past on each other's albums and had entertained the idea of doing a duets album together, this is their first true, major collaboration.

This duet will kick off a partnership between the two that is much more frequent and consistent than it has been since Trisha opened for Garth in 1991.

"In Another's Eyes" is also sent to country radio in August as the second single from Trisha's album. The song was written by Garth Brooks, Bobby Wood, and John Peppard.

In another's eyes I'm someone who Loves her enough to walk away from you I'd never cheat, I'd never lie In another's eyes

In another's eyes I can do no wrong He believes in me and his faith is strong I'd never fall or even compromise In another's eyes

For country star Trisha Yearwood, the current hit “In Another’s Eyes” marks a new chapter in a long-standing friendship. The song is a duet with superstar Garth Brooks, who Yearwood knows from demo-singing days of the 1980s in Nashville. “We’ve been friends for 10 years, and we’ve always been on each other’s records,” said Yearwood during a recent telephone interview from her tour bus. “We talked about doing a duets album, which has never gotten done. But we got the one tune recorded, and it’s been really nice. I hope that it’s going to be the catalyst that gets us back into the studio, and gets us recording a whole album.” (The Times)

September 1997

To promote the song in addition to some joint performances during live concerts in the fall, Garth and Trisha appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

They also appear and sing on Terry Bradshaw's show.

On September 25, 1997, Trisha wins Female Vocalist of the Year at the CMA Awards, and she thanks Robert who is in the audience. Garth wins Entertainer of the Year but is not in attendance because he is on the road.

1998

February 1998

Garth and Trisha win the Grammy for Best Country Collaboration with Vocals for "In Another's Eyes."

Beginning in February, Trisha joins a number of Garth's world tour dates throughout the duration of 1998 to sing "In Another's Eyes" and "Walkaway Joe" during the concerts.

Garth also drops in on one of Trisha's concerts in late February:

Country music fans at a free promotional miniconcert by Trisha Yearwood got an unexpected bonus. Superstar Garth Brooks dropped in on his friend and opening act at the Caravan of Dreams on Sunday afternoon. Yearwood and Brooks sang a couple of tunes to the surprised crowd, including their duet “Walkaway Joe,” that has been highlighting his concerts in the Dallas-Fort Worth area the past two weeks. When Brooks walked onstage fans were shocked, but Yearwood simply turned and asked, “Would you like a Tic-Tac?” (Odessa American)

April 1998

In early April, the soundtrack for the movie "Hope Floats" is released, featuring Garth and Trisha's separate versions of "To Make You Feel My Love" at the beginning and end of the track list.

At the ACM Awards on April 22, Trisha introduces the presentation of the Special Achievement award to Garth, as he and Sandy sit in the audience.

Trisha also wins Top Female Vocalist and mentions her husband in her acceptance speech:

"Thank you... to my sister, who’s my date tonight because my husband’s in London. I love you Robert, wherever you are."

In a Q&A with the Associated Press, Trisha praises the way Garth handles being so famous.

Q: Besides touring, including a trip and television special in Ireland, you and Garth Brooks recorded a duet. What has he taught you? A: I’ve known him for 10 years and we’re good friends. He’s like a big brother to me. I think we both value each other’s opinion. I watch him and how he deals with fans. Let me tell you, he has class. He’s a good person. The biggest thing to learn from him is he really focuses on the music and lets the other stuff (gossip and critics knocking him) fall to the wayside. He doesn’t act famous. I like that. 

July 1998

Trisha appears on Prime Time Country on The Nashville Network, and Garth drops in as a surprise during her interview.

Garth: “Usually we’re everywhere together… So she was here, I was off… I work for her now.” 

September 1998

Garth and Trisha have another duet, "Where Your Road Leads," on her newest album of the same name. It is released as a single in September.

They perform "Where Your Road Leads" together live via satellite from their concert in Buffalo, which is broadcast on the CMA Awards on September 23.

They also accept awards they win that night - including Female Vocalist of the Year for Trisha and Entertainer of the Year for Garth - via the remote feed from Buffalo.

December 1998

The entire year has been full of Garth and Trisha performances, so of course it ends with a Christmas program appearance on NBC.

1999

I wasn't able to find a whole lot of information about Garth and Trisha interactions throughout most of 1999. This may be because Garth's latest world tour has finally ended, and he has some new areas of focus including the "Chris Gaines" experiment that takes him down a very different tangent, along with the decision to privately separate from Sandy in March.

It may also be that they have spent the last year being such a duo that it was naturally time for a break from that. Whatever the case, they continue on as they were before... until October when Trisha files for divorce, and everyone's eyes turn to Garth.

January 1999

On January 5, Trisha receives three Grammy nominations and The Mavericks receive one, which is highlighted in a widely-dispersed Associated Press report, including the subhead: “Yearwood does better than husband.”

Sandy is with Garth at the American Music Awards on January 11, where he and Trisha also perform "Powerful Thing" together.

Less than a week later, Robert is with Trisha on January 16 when she is officially invited to join the Grand Ole Opry.

February 1999

Nancy Jones, wife of George Jones, has recently released a book called "Nashville Wives" which features chapters on wives of big country stars. Sandy contributes to the book, reportedly against Garth's wishes. Nancy tells a reporter:

“I didn’t really have to dig. I think it was therapy for a lot of these women. I think that with Sandy Brooks, there were some things she wanted to tell. Garth told her he didn’t want her to do the book, because he thought it would come back and haunt her. She called me several times, changing her mind before she said, ‘I’m doin’ it!’” 

A quote from Sandy in the book includes:

“I knew nothing of what he was up to on the road, and he knew nothing of what I was up to, and we came together and said, ‘This ain’t what we had planned for each other,’ and we refocused and realized that we are a team and that we loved each other very much, but we had gotten off track.”

In an interview with Good Morning America, Nancy Jones talks more about what Sandy needed to get off her chest in the book:

Interviewer: You even talk with some women who talk about their husband's infidelity. Even Sandy Brooks, Garth Brooks' wife. And he publicly admitted his own infidelity.  Nancy: Yes, he did, and in the book it also tells how Sandy dealt with it and how he dealt with it at first when he announced it. I mean, gosh, you get on TV and announce it, it's definitely embarrassing. She dealt with it and she tells how she still deals with a lot of things out there. Just imagine being married to Garth Brooks and all the women screaming and hollering for him.

Garth's "Chris Gaines" project, which is supposed to be a lead-in to a movie, is announced in February:

Garth Brooks’ new album, a pop release that will serve as a prequel soundtrack to the movie “The Lamb,"  will lead off with both a pop and a country single, according to Brooks.  The Don Was-produced album, which features Brooks singing as Chris Gaines, the lead character in the movie, will be called “Garth Brooks in the Life of Chris Gaines.”  The idea, says Brooks, is that by the time the movie comes out next year, people will recognize the songs as well as have a constant reminder that the movie is coming. (National Post)

(Though the Gaines album is initially supposed to get released in May 1999, it is pushed back several months. It will become a joke to the general public despite the commercial success of the album. The movie "The Lamb" will never end up being filmed.)

March 1999

When Garth and Sandy's divorce is filed in 2000, the documents will state that they had been quietly separated since March 1999. It appears that in the ensuing months, the two were still closely co-parenting and weighing the future of their marriage.

In Garth's documentary "The Road I'm On," Sandy says they had grown apart due to his constant career endeavors taking him away:

"When you’re not there on a daily basis, even a weekly basis, to communicate feelings… those were some lonely times."

While publicly Garth is gearing up for the Chris Gaines project, Trisha also takes on a different career move with an acting appearance in the TV show "JAG." In an article profiling her time on the show, Trisha and Garth are quoted about each other:

"The artist I would want to work with - every day, every night - is Trisha Yearwood," Garth Brooks says flatly.

“We have always just clicked,” Yearwood said. “The first time we sang together, it was like we had always sung together.”  They’ve continued to do occasional duets. Yearwood opened for Brooks last year, singing to throngs. “In Minneapolis, we had 190,000 people over nine days,” she said.  (Lansing State Journal)

An article mentions that Trisha's husband and parents are there when she is inducted into the Grand Ole Opry on March 13. I cannot find anything showing whether Garth was there, but he does offer this quote:

“I’m so happy for Trisha because she gets what it means to be a member, and I’m so happy for the Opry because they’re getting the highest in class and quality in return. It’s going to be a good marriage.”

May 1999

Amid their private separation, Sandy accompanies Garth to the ACM Awards where he wins Entertainer of the Year and Artist of the Decade. While in January he was still wearing his wedding ring, in May his finger is now bare.

During his speech to accept the Artist of the Decade award, Garth says, “I’ve got to turn to my wife, Sandy, and say thank you for a wonderful decade.”

In response, Sandy mouths, “I love you.” 

He then says, “As far as a partner in the 90s music-wise, Trisha, I can’t thank you any more for the friendship you’ve shown me.” 

June 1999

Trisha and her husband's band The Mavericks play a fundraiser for makeup artist Joel Green, who is battling cancer.

September 1999

Robert sits with Trisha at the CMA Awards on September 22 where she is nominated for Female Vocalist (losing to Martina McBride). 

October 1999

Just two weeks after the CMAs, Trisha files for divorce from Robert. It is announced on October 5:

Country star Trisha Yearwood and her husband Robert Reynolds are calling it quits. Her publicist issued a statement Tuesday saying that the couple “filed for divorce today citing irreconcilable difference.” The statement also says, “The couple asks that their privacy be respected during this very personal and difficult time.” The two married in May 1994.

News of the divorce will set off a flurry of tabloid stories and rumors surrounding Garth and Trisha, even as he works out his separation from Sandy for another year.

For Part 2 click here.

[ilookedintoit]

When Vince Met Amy: Part 2

Once Amy Grant split from Gary Chapman at the end of 1998, it was only a matter of time before she and Vince Gill were going to enter into an official and public relationship.

This is a delicate transition that they had to know was always going to raise eyebrows and open mouths; even though Vince had split from his wife two years earlier, everyone was doing the math based on the years of rumors about Vince and Amy's close relationship.

The ensuing months include lots of judgment from the Christian community for Amy, and several contentious interviews from her now ex-husband who insists that things were just fine in their lives, until Vince came along.

1999 

February 1999

Amy moves out of Riverstone Farm that she shared with Gary, which had been the site of many family photos and special programs captured on film during Amy's career. She gets another house nearby in Nashville.

March 1999

Three months after the separation announcement, Amy files for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences." 

The Tennessean prints a Q&A with this commentary on March 21:

They won’t say why, but she initiated the split after three kids and 16 years of marriage; he is openly suffering. Singer-songwriter Chapman, 41, has hosted Prime Time Country for 2 ½ years and has no plans to give it up. But Grant, 38, always overshadowed him, and her good friendship with Vince Gill probably didn’t help. 

June 1999

Amy and Gary’s divorce is final. 

July 1999

Vince wears an Amy T-shirt at his concert on July 31, which garners a mention in The Tennessean the next day:

At last night’s Vince Gill concert, people in the crowd were wondering who that woman on Vince’s T-shirt was. Answer: Longtime friend Amy Grant.  “It was the first T-shirt he pulled out of his drawer,” a Vince staffer said.

October 1999

On October 1, The Atlanta Constitution prints a Q&A with Vince, who declines to give a clear answer when asked about the rumors swirling around him and Amy.

Q: You recently went through a very public divorce and became the center of a lot of tabloid gossip linking you with various people. This is tough to bring up, but on the Internet, there are 53 chat sites that come up when you type in “Vince Gill/Amy Grant.”   A: Is that all? [Laughs] What I think happens with all this is, people tend to think the worst of people. If anything is offensive to me, that is. They take the lowest common denominator and go to that. The ins and outs of friendship are mine. They are not for the whole world to try to figure out. Whether it’s Amy or whoever, I have a right to be friends with anybody I want to, and I don’t have to defend or deny that. I’ve never acknowledged the tabloid stuff. None of it. That’s the neat thing about doing an interview. I can either answer the questions or not. Q: How’s life in your 40s? A: I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

A week later, on October 9, 1999, Amy confirms that she and Vince are in a relationship, during a front-page profile story in The Tennessean.

Here are some excerpts:

On the day of the interview, Grant says she has plans to take a bike trip with Gill on the Natchez Trace Parkway. The two have eaten together recently at a Waffle House – at Gill’s invitation. Last Sunday they went to church. They’ve been writing a song together, “Look What Love’s Revealing.”  But they are not secretly married, she states emphatically, answering one of the latest rumors to circulate through town about them.  The two singer-songwriters have been fast friends since they first met in 1993, when Grant accepted Gill’s invitation to appear with him on a Christmas special in Tulsa, in his native Oklahoma.  “We got along like two peas in a pod and made no bones about it,” she says. As their friendship grew and deepened, however, others found bones to pick. “A lot of disparaging things were said about my very public friendship with Vince,” Grant acknowledges.  “One of the reasons that the friendship was so public was because it never occurred to me to hide it. I would hear rumors about, ‘You guys were seen doing this, you guys were seen doing that.’ I just said, ‘Not true.’” Conscientiously, they honored the constraints of their commitments, Grant says. 

She knows people will speculate that her relationship with Gill caused the breakup of her marriage, Grant says, but the circumstances were multilayered and complicated. She will concede that the friendship may have hastened what might have been inevitable anyway. 

It feels silly, Grant says, for a 38-year-old and a 42-year-old man with professional and domestic responsibilities to say they’re dating, though some of the things they’ve done, like the hockey game, would qualify. “I just want to enjoy his company,” she says. “Is that the kind of thing that the natural conclusion is that eventually these two people will wind up together and grow old together? I hope so. But do I understand the timetable for that? No.”  Recently, Gill and Grant were grilling hamburgers for a gathering put together by her daughter, fourth-grader Millie.  “One of them asked, ‘Is he your boyfriend?’” Grant recalls, and she felt ready to let down her guard a little.  “To have tried to walk the line of propriety for so long, I kinda took a breath and said, ‘He is, honey. Yeah.’” 

Over the weekend of October 15-16, 1999, Amy and Vince are pictured holding hands multiple times at Vince's annual golf tournament.

Special friendship out in the open It looks like Vince Gill and Amy Grant have stepped into the "House of Love" they once crooned about. The singers held hands and smiled at each other Wednesday during Gill's annual charity golf tournament in Oklahoma City. It was the first public outing for the couple since last weekend, when Grant told The Tennessean newspaper in her hometown Nashville that Gill is her boyfriend. Gill, a native Oklahoman and country music star, said he doesn't know what all the fuss is about. "I'm a single man. She's a single woman. Yes, she's my girlfriend." Gill, 42, divorced his wife, Janis, in 1997. In June, Grant, 38, divorced husband Gary Chapman. (The News and Observer)

November 1999

Reaction to news of Amy and Vince's relationship after their divorces unsurprisingly causes a stir in the Christian community. Amy had already been a taboo subject when she went "secular" with her "Heart In Motion" album in 1991. This has pushed things over the edge.

A November 13, 1999, article from Knight Rider News Service, with the headline “Singer pays price for her pain,” discusses how Christian music stores and radio stations around the country have “crossed Grant’s work off their lists.” 

A November cover story comes out about Amy and the divorce in CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) Magazine, with the article titled "Judging Amy." Amy expresses her regrets but also defends herself in the interview:

"For people that have [personally] known us and loved us a long time," says Grant, "[the divorce] was not a surprise to anybody. None of this was taken lightly. It was years in the making. Gary and I went to all kinds of — tons of —marriage counseling."

"I'm from a big family. My parents are still together, and my three older sisters are married and still together. I stood up at the front of a packed-out church and made a vow before God about — as best I could — how I would lead my life. And I failed in that. Failure's incredibly humbling."

“Jesus led by compassion. No one is ever changed because of judgment. No one’s ever healed through judgment. “If people say, ‘She was leaning on a man emotionally that she wasn’t married to; she developed a friendship that was inappropriate,’ I want to go, ‘You know, if you’re gonna list my faults, let’s get to the real meat. You ain’t scratched the surface with that stuff. Let’s get real. Humanity is humanity.”

That same month, a new article in People Magazine details the relationship of Amy and Vince, with the comments from Janis Gill's sister, Kristine Arnold. As a refresher, Kristine had this to say about Amy and Vince: "[Janis] loved Vince deeply, and the whole experience has been horrifying. Just because people are not having a physical relationship doesn't mean they aren't having an affair." 

Janis does not appear to speak out during this time. The comments from her sister seem to be the only insight into how she might have been feeling about her ex's new relationship.

Also in the People article, claims are made from another source that Amy and Gary had been having trouble for a long time.

According to a family friend, Chapman, 42, a former Nashville Network host, felt overshadowed by his wife almost from the moment they met at a party in 1979. "[Gill] wasn't what broke them up. I'd say it was the final straw. They weren't getting along," says the friend, "and they hadn't been for years."

This apparently angers Gary, and so on November 29, 1999, an article is circulated with some pointed comments from him in response:

Singer/songwriter Gary Chapman wants us to know he’s hurt and dismayed that his ex-wife, Amy Grant, has been portraying their 16-year marriage as troubled long before her involvement with Vince Gill.  “That’s not the case at all,” insists Chapman, who candidly reveals, “Our marriage had a rough start, because I had a substance abuse problem… but on Sept. 2, 1986, I stopped - and through the ensuing years, we had three gorgeous kids and the world by the tail. So, this notion that our marriage was perpetually on the edge of death is completely erroneous..." Chapman’s responding to an article in this week’s People magazine - which also notes that Grant and Gill have been steadfast in their insistence that their relationship remained platonic until after their respective divorces. But Chapman, whose divorce from Grant was finalized in June, alleges, “Since the beginning of 1994, they had what I would call an inappropriate friendship, which was destructive to our marriage. "My family, friends, and most of the people in Nashville who have at least two brain cells slapping against each other have known for years what has gone on.” Despite everything, he says he and Grant “are still very friendly." “She’s moving on, and so am I.” 

Pictured: Vince and Amy on the cover of the November 29, 1999 issue of People Magazine.

December 1999

On December 7, USA Today reports that sales for Amy's Christmas album are steady but that she is still facing a lot of criticism and backlash in other circles:

John Styll, publisher of CCM magazine, which ran an in-depth interview with Grant about her divorce in its November issue, says most readers' letters about her comments have been "less than favorable."  "Many people feel she has been disobedient to what the Bible teaches in that she doesn't have biblical grounds for a divorce, such as adultery on the part of her spouse," Styll says. More problematic is the gossip about her relationship with Gill, which swirled around Nashville for years, though Grant says: "Everything public pales by comparison to (the private). The hardest thing about a family breaking up is what a family goes through privately." She does, however, insist that the relationship didn't take on a romantic aspect until after her marriage ended. Nor, she adds, have she and Gill secretly married. "I'm not living some secret life that nobody knows about," she says. "We are seeing each other. No plans. We have been dear friends for a long time." "On one hand, there would be nothing to talk about if I had just met him in March. Because I have known him for years, because we always got along great, because people were churning the rumor mill when there was absolutely nothing to churn the rumor mill about . . . people are going to say whatever they're going to say. And I just go, 'I'm so glad I get to enjoy the company of such a fine man.'"

Gary gives his own interview to The Tennessean, which prints on December 11:

The “irreconcilable differences” cited in the final divorce decree, Chapman believes, boiled down to one thing: “She wanted to end the marriage and I didn’t want to. That’s all. Anything else, God could have worked out if we had allowed him to.” 

But he also says in a story with USA Today that publishes on December 10 that he wants both he and Amy to stop talking to the media:

Gary Chapman says he's tired of ex-wife Amy Grant's interviews about the collapse of their marriage and her current relationship with Vince Gill. "I've moved from embarrassment to just being annoyed," the singer/songwriter says. "I just want it all to go away. If I'm able to let it go, everybody else should, too." Chapman says he talked to his ex-wife Wednesday and in effect declared a ceasefire. "She thought it was a great idea to not say any more about our marriage and what went wrong. She is a very kind person at her core, and I can't imagine she would want to perpetuate these stories any more than I do."

Pictured above: Vince kisses Amy on the golf course in January 2000.

2000

In early January, CCM Magazine prints a wide-ranging interview with Gary about the divorce. This is presumably from conversations that took place before Gary and Amy's media "ceasefire."

Referencing Amy’s relationship with Vince, Gary says he "chose to believe [Grant]" when she told him that the relationship with Gill was not sexual, the article states.

The writer notes Amy's comment that her relationship with Vince may have hastened the end of her marriage, but the end result of divorce was always inevitable with or without his involvement.

Chapman disagrees, indicating that he believes the relationship was the primary cause of the divorce. "I am torn between relying on the mathematical ability of intelligent people and the stark reality that a lot of people just don’t want to believe the obvious."

February 2000

Gary Chapman says he and Amy have made amends:

"Time is a wonderful thing. We actually get along really well now."

Likely helping this new view of friendship? In mid-February, Gary announces his engagement to his girlfriend of one year. 

Gary gathered his kids, his nanny and his girlfriend, Jennifer Pittman, 30, in a room and handed Jennifer a card. On the outside: A picture of Gary and kids. On the inside, the caption reads: “Will you marry us?” (The Tennessean)

March 2000

On March 3, the news breaks that Vince and Amy are also engaged.

Yes, the date is set. Amy Grant and Vince Gill, Nashville’s highest-profile couple as of late, will get married March 10 in a small ceremony in Williamson County. Friends this week began getting invitations to the larger reception that follows the ceremony. (The Tennessean)

"I can confirm that they are getting married," said Erin Morris, Gill's spokeswoman. "Other than that, they'd like to protect their privacy." (Associated Press)

On March 10, 2000, Vince and Amy get married.

According to The Tennessean, the nuptials are private and take place outdoors in front of 75 guests, mostly relatives. Amy is barefoot and wears flowers in her hair for the ceremony, and they exchange vows they've written themselves.

A much, much larger reception is held afterward at the West End Avenue area home that Amy has been renting, with about 500 people in attendance including Music Row executives, producers, and songwriters.

Amy would admit that it wasn't all sunshine and happiness to start, and they had to help their children through the transition.

"In our wedding pictures, all of the children are grim-faced and understandably so, because these were not their choices," says Amy. "But from the start, Vince and I promised to love each other well, and in any home, blended or not, if the man and wife are loving each other well, you have a much better chance of parenting well. Vince's love has empowered me to be a better mom." (Good Housekeeping, 2008)

The newlyweds returned from a honeymoon in Beaver Creek, Colorado, only to embark on a spring-break trip to hell in Hawaii with Grant's children — Matt, Millie, and Sarah, who were 12, 10, and 7 — all of whom resented the new man in Mommy's life. "You make me sick. Put a shirt on," Millie chastised Gill when he walked around bare-chested. Matt played his mom's protector, warning Gill: "If you ever hurt my mother, I'm going to kill you." Gill remained patient, content to be Grant's husband — not an authority figure to her kids. Time passed, and "I hate you" and "I don't choose you" eventually evolved into acceptance. "All those things had been said, so when it finally turned to tolerance, respect, and, best-case scenario, love — oh, that was quite a journey," says Grant. "It's like a broken bone that grows stronger if it heals properly." (Source)

Where Are They Now?

Gary Chapman married Jennifer Pittman in July 2000, but they divorced in 2007. He was arrested for a charge of driving under the influence in Spetember 2006, and marijuana was found in his possession, according to reports.

He married his third wife, Cassie in 2008, and they adopted a daughter together in 2014.

Janis Gill married Roy Cummins, a horse trainer, in October 2000, but it appears she filed for divorce from him in 2006.

Vince and Amy had a daughter, Corrina, in March 2001, to complete their blended family of five children.

Over the ensuing years, they have remained strong and been able to look back over all they have endured as they show a united front.

2010

Ahead of their 10-year wedding anniversary they cover Good Housekeeping.

"I'm just grateful [to spend time with her]," he says. Ten years into their marriage, he still longs to be around her and admits he feels adrift when they're apart, playing concerts out of town. "We talk several times a day," says Gill. "I want to. I find myself going, I don't want to call her too much, or she'll think I'm nuts. But it's when I feel safest, when I'm talking to her."

2011

Vince and Amy write the song, "True Love," together, which sums up their view of their relationship.

No one ever told me During all those tears I cried That one day you would hold me I just kept hoping inside

True love was waiting True love would find me in time True love was waiting Your love would finally be mine

And I can't erase these lines on my face But I'd turn back time if I could But all the years wanting, the desperate longing,  Are maybe what makes this so good

In an interview with AARP Magazine in 2011, they reflect on growing older together.

Grant admits to a recent oh-no-I'm-getting-old! meltdown in the bathtub. "Having that baby at 40 really shot my stomach, and I was just having a good cry about it," she says. "Vince came in, and I was drooling and snot was coming out, and I said, 'Women get invisible.' And he said, 'I love you, and you're more beautiful now than you were when I first met you. I can't wait to see what you look like with a head full of gray hair.' And he meant it."

They also reiterate that they did not cheat on their spouses, even though they had fallen for each other.

There was no cheating, Gill insists, and neither spoke to the other about leaving their spouse. "We were both married, and though we were crazy about each other, we thought, 'Well, that's not our life.'" Friends sensed the attraction, found it painful to watch the two dancing around each other, and offered advice. "The hard truth was that we never thought for a minute that we would wind up together," says Gill. 

2019

Twenty years after her divorce, Amy reflects on the healing that has happened and marvels at how far their family has come.

Grant speaks like a tiger from the other side — and it does seem like her life, in some vital ways, has come full circle. She describes setting up a pre-wedding gathering for her daughter. Grant was adjusting the sound system at her daughter’s instruction. “I looked over and saw my ex-husband, Gary Chapman, talking to my husband Vince,” she says, “and the sound system components were on a bench that people are sitting on, and I’m hopping over and trying to fix it. Vince leaned over to Gary and said: ‘Have you seen this movie before? Amy’s over there spinning the plates.’” In the commotion, she saw the two of them smiling over at her. “This has taken 20 years,” she says, “and I knew that’s where we all wanted to get. It is possible to reconcile over irreconcilable lines.” (Source)

Amy: “When Millie’s father Gary responded to the question ‘Who presents this bride?’ with the words ‘We all do!’ he captured the joy and healing of our big blended family." (Source)

2020

Amy undergoes open heart surgery in June 2020 after discovering a previously undetected heart defect she has had since birth.

2021

Vince wins his 22nd Grammy Award for a song he wrote about his wife - "When My Amy Prays."

That's when I feel grace When my Amy prays

She's got my back and she don't judge me She gives my heart some time to change Even at my worst I know she loves me She's my shelter from the rain

2022

In addition to Gary and Amy, Janis and Vince & Amy also appear to be on good terms, coming together for Vince and Janis's daughter, Jenny, and her children at various events.

Just two years after her open heart surgery, Amy has a bicycle accident in July 2022 that causes a traumatic brain injury and results in some memory loss.

Due to the accident and her recovery, she has to miss the CMT Giants program dedicated to Vince that takes place in September 2022.

Vince walks the carpet with his daughters, Jenny and Corrina, and Amy pre-records a message for him.

"She's doing great," he said. "She's pretty torn up that she couldn’t be here tonight but with her accident and all of that, they kind of deemed that the best thing for her to do is just be still." (Source)

In December 2022, Vince debuts yet another love song for Amy called "Her Heart."

"This woman right here is an amazing inspiration. Songs about her, they seem so effortless. All you have to do is tell the truth."

She wears my ring And shares my name Says I'm her best friend The kind of love I was dreaming of It's eternal and has no end

I wish the world had her heart Her gentle way to be A ray of light in a sea of darkness So innocent and free

2023

Asked in October 2023 what it means to be married to Vince, Amy answers:

"He accepts me right where I am, for who I am. I feel like I have felt the kindness and unconditional love that we express about God, I have felt it in a way through him that I've never experienced through anybody else. "He is imperfect as am I, we know how to trigger each other to the point where you think a rocket's going to launch - but he is a man of integrity and he's got a great sense of humor. Almost every morning the first thing he tries to do is make me smile." (No Small Endeavor podcast)

2024

What started 30 years ago in 1993, a connection through a Christmas program, is a tradition that endures. Tickets recently went on sale for their annual holiday show set for November and December 2024 at The Ryman Auditorium.

[ilookedintoit]

When Vince Met Amy: Part 1

Vince Gill and Amy Grant recently celebrated their 24-year wedding anniversary in March. They have been as serene and stable of a celebrity couple as you can find since the turn of the century, so it may be easy to forget that their love story began in rather dramatic fashion.

When the two singers first met, they were married to other musicians. What followed was several years of what one of their ex-spouses would refer to as "an inappropriate friendship" that predated their divorces.

Amy would even admit years later, talking about her ex-husband struggling with her friendship with Vince: "How painful to be married to somebody you know is so captivated by another human being.”

Amy and Vince have always maintained they didn't have an affair — at least, not one of a physical nature. But it does seem obvious that they fell in love many years before they were actually able to be together.

Here is the timeline of how Vince met Amy, and what happened in the 10 sometimes very messy years between that first meeting and their inevitable wedding day.

1980

Vince Gill marries Janis Oliver, a singer with the Sweethearts of the Rodeo, in 1980 after meeting as working musicians in Los Angeles.

They have a daughter in 1982 and move to Nashville to expand their music careers in 1983. At first, Janis's career takes off faster than Vince's. He even writes a tongue-in-cheek song about it called "Everybody's Sweetheart" in 1987.

I used to be the first in line Now I've fallen way behind She's everybody's sweetheart Everybody's sweetheart but mine

It is not until 1989 after he releases the album "When I Call Your Name" under MCA Records that he begins to achieve major success in country music.

1982

At the age of 21, Amy Grant marries fellow contemporary Christian singer-songwriter Gary Chapman. This same year, she releases the Christian album "Age to Age" that will eventually go platinum. She becomes wildly successful as a performer and on Christian radio. Gary will be along for the ride, writing songs with and for her, and playing on her tours.

In 1988, Amy's song "Faithless Heart" raises some eyebrows for the insinuation it makes about possible trouble in her marriage to Gary.

At times the woman deep inside me  Wanders far from home And in my mind I live a life That chills me to the bone A heart running for arms out of reach But who is the stranger my longing seeks?

Amy would be honest when doing promo for her new album that she and Gary had struggled.

“I wrote that song about three years ago, during such a hard time in our marriage,” says the singer, who met Chapman when she was 18, married him at 21, and lives with him and Matthew on a farm near Nashville. “I don’t think Gary knew how hard it was. Sometimes you can live with somebody and they don’t have any idea of the struggle you’re going through. As it ended up, in the fall of 1986, Gary and I went through several months of marriage counseling, and it was great.” (The Chicago Tribune, November 1988)

Unbeknownst to the world at the time, Gary had battled a substance abuse problem until 1986.

“I had two distinctly different lives,” he says today. “Different sets of friends, different likes, dislikes, actions, everything.” Grant wasn’t aware of his drug use, he insists, though as his moods darkened and communication broke down, a marital separation seemed imminent. Faced with that prospect, Chapman came clean, and with the help of counseling, he and Amy put things back together. (Texas Monthly, 1997)

In addition, Amy said there were other issues:

"It would be hard to say what all the dynamics were, but I think on some level there was probably some competition inside our marriage. In any circumstance where's there competition going on, what there can't be is nurturing." (Source)

Amy and Gary have three children together in 1987, 1989, and 1992.

1983

Vince says he remembers hearing Amy's song "Tennessee Christmas" on the radio in 1983 and it making an impact on him at the time.

"I was driving around somewhere in Nashville and I heard her voice and I pulled the car over. I said, 'There's something in that voice, it's connecting to me,' and little did I know how much." (Source)

1990

Amy and Vince first meet at an event for children of deployed soldiers from Fort Campbell, near Nashville, on December 15, 1990. The Christmas celebration is meant to bring cheer to the kids whose parents are far away. 

Amy will recall that they didn’t really get to know each other much at this event. Her husband, Gary, also attends. 

This photo below, from the Jan. 12, 1991, Billboard newspaper, shows Amy and Vince smiling at each other during this event, with Gary sitting beside them.

In September 1994, when they are still just friends, Amy tells The Boston Globe this about their first meeting:

“A lot of troops were sent to Desert Storm from Fort Campbell (near Nashville). So on that Christmas, Vince and myself and a couple of other artists went up to perform and sing Christmas carols with the children and spouses that had been left behind. “Vince and I hit it off and have done more and more things together as the years have gone by.”

1991-1992

Vince is a prolific songwriter and his marriage is sometimes a topic in his songs, including the 1991 ballad, "Look at Us." 

Still leaning on each other If you wanna see how true love should be Then just look at us

Janis is featured prominently in the romantic music video. 

In 1992, Vince writes the song "I Still Believe In You" for Janis after a fight. It is an interesting other-side-of-the-coin song to "Everybody's Sweetheart," which he wrote when she was on the road a lot and having more success than him, leaving him behind. Now he is the bigger star in the marriage, and they're facing the same problems in reverse.

He made a writing appointment with piano player John Jarvis on a day he had originally planned to spend with his family. Janis Gill was livid that he had intruded on their day, and they argued about it before he left the house. Feeling guilty, Vince wrote an apology that day ("I Still Believe In You")  ... Janis later said she cried when she heard it. (The Tennessean)

Somewhere along the way, I guess I just lost track Only thinkin' of myself, never lookin' back For all the times I've hurt you, I apologize I'm sorry it took so long to finally realize

"I Still Believe In You" becomes Vince's first song to hit No. 1 on the country chart. For the song he also wins CMA Song of the Year and Grammys for Best Country Song and Best Country Vocal Performance.

Janis says in a joint interview with Vince in the early 90s that them both being musicians has caused challenges at times:

“I’m really proud of the way that Vince and I have held our marriage together, and we’d be lying if we said that it was easy, because it isn’t. It’s really hard, and you have two egos to deal with, and conflicting schedules, a lot of time on the road.” 

1993

Vince and Amy's paths will cross more substantially than ever before in 1993, when Amy is invited to participate in the taping of Vince’s Christmas TV special to be filmed in Tulsa, Oklahoma. 

Vince has just had a huge year, winning two Grammy Awards and then in addition to co-hosting the CMA Awards in September, he also wins Entertainer of the Year, Male Vocalist of the Year, Album of the Year, and Song of the Year. He is without a doubt at the top of his game, so heading up a Christmas special is just one more big project to add to his list.

Ahead of the Christmas show taping, Vince talks to Tulsa World in an interview printed Nov. 29, 1993:

“I was able to get some friends of mine, good people, easygoing people,” said Gill. “Amy’s kind of the modern-day Johnny Mathis – you think of Christmas, and you think of her. She lives near me, and I’m a big fan of hers.” 

According to Amy, Gary made a peculiar statement to her as she was heading out the door to go to Tulsa for the filming:

This was messy because I met Vince when I was married to Gary. I had been invited to do a television show with him filmed in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and it was right after my 33rd birthday... I was headed to the airport. Gary... we had been in marriage therapy, we were wired so differently. And I was walking out the door and he said, "Hey, don't fall in love with him." I said, "What? Why would you even say such a thing?" He said, "I've spent time with him, and you're wired very similarly." (Source)

The taping takes place on December 1, 1993. About their meeting, Amy would remember:

When I walked into that first rehearsal in Tulsa... I guess my brow was knitted and Vince walked over, he put his arm around me and he said "Hey, unkit that brow, it's okay." I remember looking at him and I said, "No one says that to me in my life." 

Gill remembers that someone dared him to put on a top hat and go and dance with Grant during one of her songs — even though he "can't dance a lick" by his own admission. "I started dancing with her, and those pretty big eyes," he said. "I started to sing and the words were just nowhere to be found. And the people were laughing at me." (Vince to ABC Primetime in 2002) 

Amy, who had been warned by her husband not to "fall in love" with Vince, said that while they did hit it off at the taping, she didn't think much of it...

"Except I thought — anything he's involved with I'm going to go do that thing, because he's just fun to be with."

Two weeks later, Vince participates as a performer for Amy Grant's Tennessee Christmas at the Grand Ole Opry House. A new Christmas tradition of performing with each other for holiday-themed events is born.

Whenever You Come Around

Vince would admit years later that he wrote the song "Whenever You Come Around" with Amy in mind after doing his Christmas special with her.

“This is a song that was inspired by a smile that I saw for the first time on the face of a woman that I’d never met. That was Amy Grant back in 1993. “I was so inspired, moved by the sight of that smile, that I came home and wrote this song,” he admitted. “I had no idea that all these years later we’d wind up together, have kids. … Life’s funny.”

The lyrics include:

The face of an angel, pretty eyes that shine I lie awake at night wishing you were mine I'm standin' here holding the biggest heartache in town Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath Oh I try to speak, but the words won't come I'm so scared to death And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down Whenever you come around

“When I met [Amy] years ago I was just completely taken with her smile. We were doing a TV show together, and she walked in and smiled at me. I haven’t been the same since.” Vince shared that in the midst of wanting to write the song, he reached out to his friend, Pete Wasner. And, together they penned what the Country Music Hall of Fame member describes as the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his whole life. Prior to laying down the lyrics though, Vince remembered telling his buddy, “I want to write a song about Amy Grant’s smile.” But a surprised Pete reacted with, “Do you even know her?” (Source)

Vince says that he played the song for Amy and she didn't realize it was about her.

“She asked me to play her something that I was working on for my new record. So I played her this song that I had written about her, and didn’t tell her,” said Vince. “She listened to it and said, ‘Oh that’s nice. That’s really beautiful.’ Years and years and years later she said, ‘I remembered listening to that song for the first time and all I could think of was, ‘Who is the lucky girl that that song was written for?’” (Source)

For Amy during that time, she says: "The loneliness in my marriage was very apparent."

"Even though there were things about my life that were so difficult for me personally, I think the option of divorce was not an option." (Source)

House of Love

Amy and Vince will continue to orbit each other in many ways.

The two co-write a song called "If I Had My Way," which appears on Vince's album "When Love Finds You" released in June 1994.

They also record a duet shortly after Vince's Christmas show called "House of Love,” for Amy's new album of the same name.

In September 1994, Amy tells The Corpus Christi Caller Times the story of how she got Vince to duet with her on "House of Love."

When the topic turns to duet partner Gill, Grant gets a bit gushy as she talks about his charity work and self-effacing attitude.  … “I think sometimes things that are really rewarding in life, you don’t push,” she says. “One thing just kind of leads to another.  “That song ‘House of Love’ is probably the truest moment of that kind. I was trying to do the background vocals and I was mortified at how high they were. I couldn’t hit the notes. I’m sitting at the studio, dying a thousand deaths, when a friend who sells real estate called and said, ‘I’m getting ready to show Vince and Janis this farm you and Gary looked at; do you want to go?’ I love hiking, and it’s a beautiful hillside and I was familiar with the land, and I said yes. “After we looked at the farm, we were all getting in our cars to leave. I said, ‘Will you do a song for me on my record?’ and Vince said, ‘Sure.’ It amazed me that he didn’t even care what the song was about."

They film a music video, and the behind the scenes footage of them recording the song in late 1993 is available on YouTube.

1994

"House of Love" is released in late 1994, and the two make an appearance together on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Both Amy and Vince's ex-spouses would later make claims about signs or outright actions of impropriety between Amy and Vince as early as 1994.

After their divorce, Gary would claim that:

Amy “came to him in late 1994 and made a declaration that took him by surprise: ‘I don't love you anymore. You're the biggest mistake I've ever made… I've given my heart to another man.’"  (CCM Magazine)

And in a November 1999 People Magazine article, Vince’s ex-sister-in-law will also claim that 1994 was the year his wife, Janis, learned that Amy and Vince's relationship was beyond what she would be comfortable with as his spouse.

Janis Gill, 44, Vince's wife of 17 years and mother of his daughter Jenny, 17, initially tolerated the close friendship he struck up with Grant, known for her Christian-themed paeans to eternal love, after she performed at his 1993 Christmas concert. Janis's forbearance vanished the next year after she found hand-written notes from Grant in her husband's golf bag. Her sister Kristine Arnold recalls coming home and finding a sobbing Janis parked in her driveway on the night of the discovery. "She was holding a crumpled note," says Arnold. "It said, 'I love you, Amy.' That was the beginning of the end."

At the end of 1994, Vince makes an appearance on Amy's "Christmas at Home with the Stars" segment.

Though Gary claims that Amy had already told him she was no longer in love with him at this point, they are the picture of a happy family for the television program.

Vince would reflect in 2003, in a interview with Larry King Live:

"The friendship caused a lot of animosity in both of our... on both sides of the fence, and rightly so, probably."

1995

Despite the previous year's events, Vince and Janis are featured on Country Weekly's "Country's Happiest Couples" cover for Valentine's Day 1995.

Again, Vince and Amy always deny any physical affair during this time, but in their joint interview with ABC Primetime in 2002, Vince does admit that Amy was on his mind in those early years, even though he was still married.

Gill, who had been married to his wife Janis since 1980, says he kept Grant in the back of his mind "pretty much" always. He consoled himself with the thought that it might be their destiny to be together one day, perhaps when they were in their 60s or 80s. "You don't know how life's going to unfold," he told himself.

Gary would also later say that he and Amy tried counseling in those years, but she gave up on it before he did: 

Chapman sought counseling on his own in 1995. Though Grant joined the sessions for "a couple of months," Chapman says marital counseling ended when she refused to continue. (CCM Magazine)

1996

January 1996

Amy talks to a reporter about how her and Vince's friendship has been bolstered by their love for golfing. Amy has taken up the sport after getting to know Vince.

The collaboration helped strengthen their friendship – as well as Grant’s fondness for golf, Gill’s favorite game. Grant’s husband got her a set of golf clubs for Christmas 1993 when she and Gill were recording together, and Gill encouraged her to work at her game. “We (Grant and Gill) had always enjoyed each other’s company and suddenly got to really get to know each other, because we were involved in making videos and had several opportunities to go places and sing the song,” Grant said. “He’s a great guy, just really wonderful to be around. “But he’s got a beastly temper on the golf course! He can go places in the world of anger that you don’t want to follow. It’s kind of nice – he’s such a nice guy, and you see a really horrible side of him, and think, ‘Oh, good, he’s human.’”  (The Bradenton Herald)

February 1996

Amy and Vince attend a Belmont basketball game together - no word if either of their spouses also came.

David Lipscomb University basketball fans were ready when city rival Belmont University and Belmont fans arrived for a game. Two of Belmont’s fans are singers Amy Grant and Vince Gill, who both attended the game.  One of the posters displayed at the David Lipscomb gym said: “Vince and Amy: Welcome to Our House of Love.”  The two singers recently had a hit duet by that name. (North County Times)

March 1996

Vince and Amy are in attendance at many of the same events this month, including Minnie Pearl's funeral in Tennessee and the Nabisco Dinah Shore celebrity golf tournament in Los Angeles. They duet together at a dinner ahead of the tournament.

June 1996

Amy receives the Minnie Pearl Award at the TNN Music City News Country Awards. She does not mention Gary in her acceptance speech but he is in the audience with her and she gives him a kiss as she goes up to the stage.

July 1996

Vince releases the song "Worlds Apart," which may be a hint about the state of his marriage.

You were my best companion Now we lie silent in the dark Why do you and me have to be worlds apart?

August 1996

Amy and Vince are present at many of the same events throughout the fall, including Vince's annual golf tournament The Vinny in Nashville in August.

Amy participates, as does Vince's wife, Janis. Amy is pictured in the same photo as Vince's daughter, Jenny, in The Tennessean's report about the event.

September 1996

The Sweethearts of the Rodeo release a new album, "Beautiful Lies," which features a song written by Janis Gill called "I Know Who You Are." The lyrics seem to be pointed at Amy:

I've seen you fly about And I have heard you sing You seem so spiritual When you are on the wing He thinks your pretty eyes Shine brighter than the stars He doesn't know who you really are

You couldn't be an angel Descended from above For angels never tear apart What God has yoked as one Don't you know the world has had its fill of ones like you So fly away like God would want you to

October 1996

Amy and Vince pose at the VH1 Fairway To Heaven Golf Tourney for celebrities at the Las Vegas Country Club on October 7.

The next weekend, they are back in Nashville where she participates in the Mini-Vinny, Vince's golf tournament for kids.

November 1996

Amy and Gary participate in Vince's annual basketball benefit at Belmont University in Nashville.

Pictured above: I am 99% sure this is Amy with Vince at the basketball game.

December 1996

Tabloids such as Star Magazine in December will print various stories of rumors about Vince and Amy during these years. One such story reportedly printed in Star is relayed by a commenter on a Usenet newsgroup in December 1996. According to the poster, the story:

"insinuates that Amy and Gary and Vince Gill and his wife are all having marital problems and Amy and Gill are 'crying on each other's shoulders' and that her relationship with Gill 'is an issue' when the Chapmans talk to their counselor."

But in contrasting news, Country Weekly reports in the December 10, 1996, issue that Vince and Janis are happily married and just returned from a vacation in Hawaii.

As usual, Vince along with Gary are performers at Amy's Tennessee Christmas event, which this year takes place at the new Nashville Arena.

1997

April 1997

Amy performs at a Billy Graham crusade in San Antonio, which is held April 3-6, 1997. She has shared the story more than once about how, feeling like she needed to be honest with Billy about her personal life, she sat down to confide in him.

In an October 2023 podcast, Amy gets pretty specific about what was going on in her life at that time:

"I was married, I had three children, I had fallen in love with a married man, and I already had a difficult marriage. And I felt myself just saying, 'I don’t know where I’m going to wind up, but I think I’m incapable of doing what I have been doing anymore.' "And I couldn’t walk on that stage with the man who held the trust of the whole world. I just said, 'I know I’ve been a public person of faith, and I still believe in God and I’m headed for a divorce. I need you to know that.' And he sat down and he said, 'I’ve got a bunch of children and there are a couple of them that are taking the long way home.' And he said, 'We’ll all get there. It’s okay.'" (No Small Endeavor podcast)

Pictured above: Vince and Janis at their wedding in 1980.

Divorce is not immediately imminent for Amy after this event, but just two weeks later, Janis Gill does file for divorce from Vince on April 16, 1997, in Nashville.  

Janis’ attorney, Rose Palermo, indicated that the couple would try to arrive at a property settlement on their own. The court would either approve or disapprove of the agreement at the time the divorce is granted. “It’s a private, personal matter between Janis and Vince,” Palermo said. “There’s no animosity or hard feelings; it’s just a sad time for their family. We have every belief that it’s going to be resolved amicably and worked out. They just need to get through the process.”  (The Tennessean)

More details about the time period leading up to the Gills' divorce will come out two years later. In a November 1999 People Magazine article, Janis’s sister Kristine Arnold says that after Janis found the “love” note from Amy to Vince in 1994, Janis "unsuccessfully begged" Vince to cut ties with Amy.

Gill and Grant maintain that Janis's suspicions were unwarranted and that their relationship remained platonic until their divorces were completed. ... But claims of chastity don't wash with Arnold. "Janis tried desperately to keep that marriage together," says Arnold, 43, who runs a Nashville boutique with Janis. "She did not leave her husband. He left her. She loved Vince deeply, and the whole experience has been horrifying. Just because people are not having a physical relationship doesn't mean they aren't having an affair." 

Amy says she doesn't hear of Vince's divorce from him; she learns about it by reading it in the news. The front page of The Tennessean in Nashville on April 17, 1997:

"That's how I found out. I read it in the paper," she said during her 2003 interview with King. Initially, Grant wasn't happy about the announcement. "It wasn't like I went, 'Oh good, he's available to me,' because I wasn't," she added. (Source)

Chapman, who by then was well aware of Grant's infatuation with Gill, glanced at the headline — it was on the front page — and turned to his wife, commenting that he was grateful someone had finally made the first move. "[It was] awful. Awful! Killed me for him," Grant remembers. "How painful to be married to somebody you know is so captivated by another human being." (Source)

Vince would say later that there was no "magic plan, like, 'I'm going to go do this and a couple years later you go do this.'"

"It wasn't even — there wasn't ever even a discussion. You know, I got a divorce. And I said well, I think she'll probably stay. I really did. That's how I felt." (Source)

In a 2002 ABC interview, Amy will admit that staying married to Gary after Vince got divorced was an "agonizing" decision for her.

When Gill's wife filed for divorce in 1997, tabloid newspapers printed articles saying Grant and Gill had had an adulterous affair — something both have consistently denied. Grant remained married and says Gill never asked her to do anything else: "He'd never ever, ever invited me out of my world into his. Ever," she says. Grant's 1997 album Behind the Eyes was filled with dark introspection and songs about unrequited love, including a sad tune called "Cry a River."

Those lyrics include:

Who knew love would come walking through my door Turn a light on somewhere down inside Give me a feeling I'd never had before It was a long wait It was just the wrong time

But I hope you'll hold me now Somewhere within And when you think about What might have been

At the time, she told ABCNEWS that the song was about "a moment when you connect with somebody and all the pistons fire, and then you go, 'Gosh the path of my life does not go down that road'" — but she refused to say who she had in mind. She now admits it was Gill. Gill was now unattached, but Grant made the agonizing decision to stay married, telling herself that being with Gill was not worth everything that she stood to lose by ending her marriage.

Initial reports after the Gill divorce filing will speculate about Amy and Vince, but there are also rumors about Vince possibly dating Bekka Bramlett, a musician he has recently collaborated with. Vince and Bekka will later deny this.

Meanwhile, the Gills' divorce will become a protracted battle over assets, with Vince's friendship with Amy becoming an issue in the fight.

Star Magazine would get ahold of their divorce filing in 1999 and publish the following information:

Gill's lawyer Lou Conner said he believed the other side was using Vince's friendship with Amy Grant as a "hammer" to make accusations that the two were having an affair during Gill's marriage. Janis planned to produce letters allegedly written between Amy and Vince that detailed their feelings toward each other. But Conner said Vince and Amy were simply "soul mates" — and that both were prepared to testify under oath that they never had sex. Grant ... hired her own lawyer for the case, and never gave a deposition.

August 1997

A fan on a Usenet newsgroup claims to have read about Vince and Amy in the National Enquirer in August. The poster comments:

"Well, it was a National Enquirer article back in August. Yeah, I normally never read that stuff, but I was in the checkout line at the grocery store and here was this article about Amy Grant! So, I picked it up. Had photos, witnesses, and even corroboration from personal friends of the two. Apparently Vince is pursuing her, says he's pining for her and in love with her. But, she doesn't want to hurt Gary even though they have grown apart."

September 1997 

Another commenter on a Usenet newsgroup reports that they heard a Toronto radio station interview with Amy on September 16. The poster summarizes:

"The DJ (surprisingly!) came right out and asked her if there was any truth to the 'affair' rumour between her and Vince Gill. She didn't seem offended by the question and basically said that her and Vince are 'dear friends' and that his marriage had just broken up so some tabloids must have tried to add one thing with the other. She said that it is not true and added that she is 'happily married to Gary Chapman.' The interviewer asked her view on tabloids and she was diplomatic in saying that she understands the public's interest in famous people, but there should be a line drawn on what is private info and what isn't." 

October 1997

On October 9, 1997, an item in the Tucson Citizen refutes all of the gossip about Vince's post-divorce love life:

Speaking of matters of the heart, let’s put to rest all the rumors about Vince Gill. He is not dating Bekka Bramlett. She says they just laugh about all the tabloid stories about them. And he most certainly did not leave his wife, Janis, for Amy Grant! As one Nashville insider told me, “Vince left Janis for Vince.”

Pictured: Vince and Bekka Bramlett in 2011. There was no truth to rumors of them dating at the time of Vince's divorce.

1998

June 1998

Vince and Janis's divorce is finalized this month. According to Star, which obtained the documents:

Janis pocketed more than $9 million — and that sum could reach $15 million as she collects 38 percent of all songwriting royalties Gill receives for songs he wrote during their marriage. She walked away with $6 million in cash, 150 acres of farmland valued at $1.5 million and her $700,000 house. She also kept the barn she built, the dress shop and a Lexus car valued at $35,000. It's one of the highest divorce settlements ever in Nashville.

Fall of 1998

Chely Wright, who revealed in 2010 that she is gay, wrote in her memoir "Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer" that she and Vince connected in the fall of 1998 because they could not be with the people they really wanted to be with.

Vince and I were both MCA artists, so there had been times when we’d be corralled at the same event and we’d end up having easy conversation between us.  Both of us were working at the Sound Stage Studio on Music Row in the fall of 1998. We were just down the hall from each other and ended up in the lounge talking and I found him to be charming and quite likable, as does the rest of the world. Vince has been one of Nashville’s most beloved stars for decades, and anyone who ever gets the chance to be around him just falls in love with him. He'd recently been through a very public divorce and was currently being run through the rumor mill about his relationship with Amy Grant, another revered artist in Nashville’s music community.  Vince and Amy had been close friends for years, and it was highly speculated that they were in love. I remember thinking if Vince and Amy were in love, it made sense to me.  Vince and I began spending private time together after our studio chats. We had a lot in common, and in the years after our relationship I realized that we shared one bonding similarity – we were both lonely for, and in love with, someone else. At that time neither one of us was able to be with our one true love, so we allowed ourselves to find comfort in each other.  Early in my relationship with Vince, I understood that his heart would never belong to me. To some degree, that was a relief because it assured me that I wouldn't end up hurting him. Amy knew that Vince and I were spending a lot of our time together, but when I'd see her, she was always kind to me anyway.

Pictured above: Chely Wright with Vince, side stage at the Grand Ole Opry in December 1997.

Apparently at the same time, Amy and Gary's marriage has reached a breaking point, and she can no longer hold on any longer.

"I just felt like I was very lost; I felt hopeless and I think that I was just trying to find a way out." (Source)

“It had been rocky from the get-go. I’d been holding steady for 15 years in something that was not easy to hold steady.” (Source)

Gary also agrees to let it go - he really has no choice. According to Gary's 2000 interview with CCM Magazine:

By August of 1998, when Grant said she believed herself to be "released from the marriage," Chapman had come to the conclusion that he could do no more. "For five years after I was told that I was no longer loved and that she wanted out of the marriage, I refused that because of the kids.” … “I went to her and said, ‘I know of at least two times in the past three months, that I have literally on my knees begged you not to leave. You need to know that I’m not going to do that anymore.’"  

According to Gary’s CCM interview, he and Amy “sought professional mediation for the divorce in September 1998.” 

November 1998

Various newspapers report in early November that Amy and Gary are splitting, though they have not made any public comment. These reports appear to spark from a recent story in Star Magazine — a story that will end up being true.

Amy Grant’s going single Singer Amy Grant, 37, and husband Gary Chapman, 41, are pulling the plug on their 16-year marriage. They have three kids, ages 11 to 6. She reportedly has turned to old friend Vince Gill for solace. Country singer Gill ended his 17-year marriage last year.

December 1998

According to Gary, he and Amy tell their children of their decision to separate in late December.

They officially announce their split with a press release on December 30, 1998. 

One of Nashville’s most prominent couples is separating. Amy Grant and Gary Chapman officially announced their separation yesterday in a short statement.  “Gary Chapman and Amy Grant regretfully announce their separation after 16 years of marriage,” they said in a two-sentence press release on letterhead from their management company, Blanton/Harrell Entertainment. “They both ask for your prayers at this sad time and hope that you would respect their privacy.” (The Tennessean)

Part 2