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durham cathedral

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Aub, Bavaria.

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hazy wensum

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inconsolable

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I love the syntax of this love poem by W.S. Merwin:

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excerpt from Antigone by Jean Anouilh (trans. Lewis Galantiere)

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by Katie Sawyer

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BPD culture is I'm splitting on my "fp" to and extent I haven't before. They've been barely talking to me for weeks. Fucking WEEKS. Today I sent them a meme, and after they replied, I asked them if they finally aren't too busy to talk to me (cause they're little excuse was that they were busy). He was so fucking rude. So I was rude back. He might've blocked me, might've not. Idk. He left my text on read. So I texted again, and it hasn't gone through. And I was pretty passive aggressive about it.

I don't wanna be mean to them per se. No, I don't care for being rude and nasty. I wanna make them feel guilty for how they treated me. Practically fucking ignoring me, giving one or two word responses. Being rude. Maybe blocking me. I hope he'll feel really fucking bad about it. I hope he'll regret every second he spent treating me like shit and ignoring me. I hope he realises just how it makes me feel and fucking hates himself for it. I hope they fucking beg for my forgiveness, just so I can tell them no. No, I'm not gonna forgive that. Fuck them.

Also I'll fucking kill myself if they've actually blocked me and don't unblock me.

- 🫀🍃

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I'm teaching myself a new skill, its going as expected, I'm running into a lot of walls and I'll find myself tracing paint marks or picking lint of the carpet than actually making an effort.

So I keep reminding myself that in five years the time will still have past anyway. Or that sixe months ago I would have had a little foundation already, if only I stuck to it. So yes you'll feel frustrated at the beginning or halfway through, yes you'll have days or months of procrastination of feeling like there's no point even continuing, but the time will pass regardless. So in a year you could have bits and peices of a project, or you can have nothing at all, you could have a baseline of understanding for a new skill or none. It doesn't matter if you think that the payout won't be much, because it will be something as apposed to nothing. Rome wasn't build in a day as people say, so don't measure your own progress to harshly, just continue to build at your own rate, but if you believe in your project don't give up, progress is still progress.

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nosferatu (2024) dir. robert eggers // margaret atwood - alias grace

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᭨ ྀlighters.

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I used to want to be something bigger than myself. I wanted to make an impact that lasted longer than I did. But I learned the way to do that isn't by trying to be bigger than you are. You do it by taking up the space you naturally fill in every moment. You do it by loving the people who naturally come in to your life. You do it by gracefully handling the hard circumstances that naturally occur. You do it by being a friend. A conversation with a stranger makes a bigger impact than a voice to a crowd ever could. Your love for one person can change generations. It's quiet. It's humble. Impact isn't always measured by numbers, it's often times measured by a single life. Your impact may be quiet. But it's rooted deep. May it flourish in ways you may never know about.

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will you please take my whimsical ass seriously