iluvshinytwink

[iluvshinytwink]

comjng back to tumblr and not seeing an iluvshinytwink post has permanently deafened my left bumcheek 🤕

PLSSS MY BAE IM SORRYYY ILL POST SOON OKAY? I PROMISE, PINKY PROMISE, TOE PROMISE I PROMISEEE :,((( IM SORRY FOR PARALYZING YOUR BUTTCHEEKS

every wednesday is eating me alive bro I SWEAR.. im so sorry pookises :(

every wednesday ill be like "what day is it again?" and remember wednesday is my day for delulu posts and i 😞😞

im sorry pookie wookie ill post soon okay?

:(

[iluvshinytwink]

hey :)

I hope everything's fine and you're ok <3

awee bae don't worry bout me !! just a lil writer's block <33!!! i'll be back before you know it !!!

[iluvshinytwink]

Update guys i am still alive 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🙏🙏⁉️⁉️⁉️

Just here to update because of a dream i had 🥺🥺

I haven't posted in like 2 weeks and I'm sorry boo boo bears :((

I had this dream where someone sent an anonymous post where they were like begging me to post again LMAOOO

The anon post was like "in the first 10 days you didn't post i started to lose hearing on my right ear" SOME LIKE THAT AND THEY WERE THREATENING YET BEGGING ME TO POST AND I WOKE UP JUST LAUGHING BRO.

okay guys i promise to post next week (do not believe me but pls still do)

M just out of ideas guys im really sorry 😞💔💔 but i promise ill get back on my feet 🙏🙏🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥

[iluvshinytwink]

Waiting for you - Jude Bellingham

Synopsis: How long must you wait for Jude?

I find myself waiting for you, I find myself always waiting, but when will you ever show up?

Due to his schedule, Jude is always busy. He always promises to someday just sit down with you for more than five minutes. And you always believe it. I mean, why shouldn't you believe it?

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll be home late, you shouldn't wait for me." Said Jude from over the phone. His tone apologetic and soft.

"It's alright. Stay safe." You said, trying to sound calm, hiding any uncertainties that laced your voice.

".. I'm sorry, again. I love you, okay?" He says quietly. You hummed. "I love you too." You said weakly before you ended the call.

Late at nights, you always seem to wake up to rummaging arms, always finding your waist to hold.

Your eyes were open, not tired whatsoever. Suddenly, you hear your front door creak open. He was finally home. But why so late? You looked over to your window, seeing the sky was dark yet had a glimpse of light.

Your body wanted to get up, greet him, smile at him no matter how tiredly, just as long as you could see him until he seemingly disappears when you wake up.

Suddenly, your bedroom door creaks open and a tired sigh escapes his lips.

You could hear his footsteps though he tried to make it as quiet as possible.

He enters the bed ever so quietly as to not disturb you.

His arms tiredly wrap around you carefully. He lies down, arm around your waist, trying to pull you to him closer, your body moves into his.

You turn around, meeting his eyes.

"Hi." You groggily say with a smile. "Did I wake you?" He asks, returning the smile. "Nah, I just couldn't sleep." You reassured.

Jude pulls you into his chest, you could hear his heartbeat. You could still smell his faint cologne which he put on earlier this morning.

"I'm sorry I couldn't spend more time with you." He apologized, voice quiet and soft. "I promise, someday, you'll have me all to yourself." He hums, caressing your hair ever so softly.

"It's okay. It's not your fault you're so busy." Your muffled voice said against his chest.

Suddenly, he went quiet. He must've already fallen asleep.

One afternoon, you get a phone call. Without looking who is was, you answered.

"Hi, baby!" A familiar voice greeted enthusiastically. "Jude? Hi." You said softly. "You okay?" You ask.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna be free after my training." He said, excited. Your heart started racing. "Really?" You ask, almost in disbelief.

"Yeah. Can we meet at our usual café?" He asks. "I'll promise I'll be early." He says. "Okay, sure. See you there?" You said with a smile. "Yeah. See ya." He smiles.

"Oh! I almost forgot, I love you." He says quickly. You laugh. "I love you too." You said before ending the call.

A feeling of excitement washed over you. Your heart pounced out of your chest. You were finally going to spend some time with your lovely boyfriend.

You entered the café as you couldn't help but smile.

You placed your things at an empty table which was near the entrance and a window.

You ordered your food and began waiting.

You felt somewhat impatient as you waited for the minutes to pass. Seconds turned to minutes so slowly.

You kept glancing at your phone, waiting for a text message, a call, anything. You glanced at the window, hoping, praying, begging for a familiar figure to show up.

The skies shifted color, a dark-ish blue illuminating the sky.

You looked down on your cup, your heart dropping. Only ice remained in your cup. A wave of nervousness, disappointment washed over you.

You wanted to call him, do something but you didn't want to, you were afraid to.

You glanced back at the sky, hoping the sky takes all your thoughts away.

The sky was now engulfed in a darker shade of blue. Your heart dropped upon realizing.

You looked down on your cup, the ice had melted into water.

Without realizing, you looked down on your fingers, finally realizing you had been picking on them. Your fingertips turned red.

A sigh along with a feeling of disappointment washed over you. Suddenly, your phone rang. You looked at it immediately, picking it up.

"Hello?" You said, trying to make your tone calm.

"I'm sorry baby. I can't make it." The voice of Jude says along with a sigh.

"I'm sorry I made you wait." He muttered, voice quiet.

Your heart dropped.

"It's okay, Jude." You tried to smile. How many times have you said that sentence? How many times have you heard that sentence leave his lips?

"I'll make it up to you, I'm sorry, my girl." He says shakily, almost as if he knew you were disappointed with another of his failed promises.

"..I know you will." You said with a sad smile. "I'll see you tonight?" You said, instinctively picking on your fingertips.

"Of course, baby." He says, trying to sound reassuringly.

"Bye, I love you." He says.

You end the call.

You stand up, taking your things with you. Tears prickled your eyes, but you didn't know why.

No matter how many times your promises break me, I still find myself waiting for you. Because I know I'll always wait for you.

Is it just me or did my writing improve (with desperate rizz) LMAO deadass i was in a cafe with my mom's friends right, my coffee was shit so i looked out the window right n then i was "AYO IDEA ⁉️⁉️😧😧" and then boom 🗣️🗣️

TAGLIST !!! :)

@mbapbaesluvr

@hearts4jude

@f1lover55

[iluvshinytwink]

Let you break my heart again by laufey w/ Jude pls 🤞🙏

Let You Break My Heart Again - Jude Bellingham

"Until then, I'll drink my coffee, eat my pie, pretend that we are more than friends. Then of course, I'll let you break my heart again."

a/n: from the lyrics and everything i think u alr know what's gonna go down (tots not because i just don't know how to write a synopsis.)

also it took me so long to decide which lyric to pick 😧

Now Playing . . . Let You Break My Heart Again by Laufey

His eyes were the color of coffee. Soft and brood. Bitter yet sweet. Aromatic and bright. Something that you can't help but crave for.

His words were like a pie. Sweet and loving. Creamy and smooth.

Addictive.

That was one of the many words you could use to describe Jude.

Bitter like coffee and sweet like the pie you always ate for breakfast. That was Jude.

Developing feelings for Jude was something you should've tried to stop a long time ago.

You should've known that you liked him from the very beginning. The way your heart would skip a beat the moment he called your name. The way you felt like the entire world had frozen every time his eyes met yours.

Yet you didn't. The feelings continued to bloom badly. Your feelings grew into a rose with a thousand thorns which wrapped your body. You couldn't escape.

The many times where you wanted to look away from Jude, to prevent your heart from aching never came.

It was like he had you in his fingertips and he didn't even notice.

The many times you tried to stop the blush that kept creeping into your cheeks every time he held your hand in a friendly manner.

But that was sadly all you would ever be to Jude. A friend.

It was a cold winter night. The dark blue sky was powdered with stars. You were sat at a bench, staring at the blue abyss above you mindlessly.

"Are you cold?" a familiar voice joked. You looked beside you and saw your friend, Jude standing before you with his hands dug deep in his pockets. "I didn't know it would be this cold." you said softly.

You heard a scruffle in Jude's jacket. You looked back at him and his hand was out for you to take.

"It's warm, I promise." Jude said with a soft smile.

Your mouth gaped open as you tried to find the exact words to say. You could feel your entire face being hot as the snow came dripping down the sky.

Without a choice, you took Jude's hand.

It was indeed warm. Soft and warm. Lovely and comforting.

You wanted to hold onto it for the rest of time. May the weather be hot or cold, you didn't want to let go.

If you were to let go, your feelings would never go. You would think of this moment for the rest of your life, reliving it time and time again and realize that moment would never happen again.

Jude continued walking and without thinking straight, your hand clenches on his harshly.

Jude stops. He looks behind him and to his arm. Your hand tensed into his.

"Are you okay?" Jude asked softly. The realization hit you and your hand had stopped tensing. "Is it that cold?" Jude joked, going closer to you.

You stood there, frozen. Like the harsh weather had finally dawned on you.

But that wasn't it. What had dawned on you was the realization that you had fallen for Jude.

And the most painful thing about that realization was, you knew he would never like you back.

"Let's get you home, okay?" Jude whispered worriedly, tugging on your arm softly.

The night was a blur. You remember the silent yet comforting walk you had on the way home. His hand grew warmer by the minute and you remembered adoring every single second of it.

As the two of you approached your house, you found yourself wishing it would never end.

You wished, deep inside, the walk would go on and on. Who cares where you would end up in?

You woke up, covered in blankets which was Jude's doing.

As your eyes opened slowly, a feeling of sadness washed over you. The warmth of the blankets would never match to Jude's warmth.

You got up and headed to your kitchen.

As you approached the counter, you could see two indistinctive objects.

Pie and coffee and in the middle was a small note.

You felt tears well your eyes, though you weren't entirely sure why.

Some day, one day; I will stop falling in love with you. Until I do, I'll be thinking of you.

this is kinda half assed ill by honest but nevertheless, i hope you enjoy it :)!!!

also ill post again tomorrow so dont worry!!

TAGLIST !!! :)

- @mbapbaesluvr

- @hearts4jude

- @f1lover55

[iluvshinytwink]

YOUR JUDE FICS LITERALLY HAVE ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF MY GODDDDD😭😭😭😭😭😭they got me on the ground crying🤕🤕

HI POOKIE OOKIE WOOKIE !! thanks bae yk i try my best to serve the best shit 😽😽‼️‼️

also u reminded me i still have to finish my fics so brb BUT THANKS AGAIN WOOKIE

[iluvshinytwink]

Apple Cider - Jude Bellingham

" And I don't even like you that much, wait.. I do.. fuck. Call you at midnight, let's give this thing a try !"

Synopsis: In which Jude confesses to you but you don't have a clear answer to his proposal but during one midnight, you call Jude in which he responses and you accept his confession ! :)

a/n: i love beabadoobee !!!!

Now Playing . . . Apple Cider by Beabadoobee

The night Jude shakily confessed his love to you. You felt frozen. Like your feet was rooted deep into the soil you stood down on. Your lips felt sewn shut and your heart was beating out of your chest.

After Jude had confessed to you, you remembered him looking down on the ground, embarrassed and ashamed of his actions.

The seconds passed on excruciatingly long. The silence hurt the both of you.

"I think.." you mumbled. Jude's head raised from the ground as he awaited for your answer.

As soon as you met his gaze, you instinctively looked away. "I think I like you too." you whispered but there was a tone that sounded like you were unsure of your answer.

"Can you give me some time to think about it?" was the last thing you said. Jude smiled apologetically. Both of you knew that wasn't the answer neither of you expected.

That memory had played on your mind for several nights now, everywhere you went his voice would echo throughout your ears and you couldn't help but feel your heartbeat accelerate. Your cheeks flushed pink as you tried to shake the memory away.

It was late at night now, too late at night to still be wide awake. You stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. You weren't even tired.

You looked at your phone and saw the time: 11:45 pm, it read. How long had you been here just.. thinking?

You kept thinking of Jude. It all had been clear now. The subtle stares you kept seeing in the corner of your eye. The way his eyes softened every time you looked into them. The soft smile on his face every time you talked.

But underneath all those memories there was still a question you still had to answer.

Did you like him or not?

With every second passing you could feel your heartbeat growing faster and faster and with every breath you could feel a sharp pain from your heart going through your nerves.

But if you had accepted.. who knew what could happen?

A deep sigh leaves your lips as you grip your phone in your hand.

Without thinking, you open your contacts and select Jude's number.

As you were about to press on the call button, you were then dragged back in your thoughts. You hesitated.

Again, without a thought you dialed his number.

You put the phone against your ear as it ringed. Every ring that escaped your phone you could feel your throat dry up. Your hands started sweating. Hell, you didn't even know if he would even respond.

No backing out now.

As you were about to back out the phone stopped ringing. Your heart sank to the bottom of the abyss.

"I like you." you quickly said. "Hah?" Jude said with a chuckle. "I like you." you repeated shyly.

"I like you too." Jude giggled over the phone. "Same." you stammered, a blush crept on your cheeks as you tried your best to suppress the giggly smile on your lips.

"Can I come over?" Jude said, trying to suppress his own giggling.

"Yeah, sure, of course." you breathed out nervously. Jude giggled once more over the phone before he ended the call.

You tossed your phone in the depths of your bed, trying to stop the deep blush covering your entire face.

Butterflies stormed your stomach, you felt giddy, happy, shy, but most important, in love.

A few minutes pass and your doorbell had rung.

Your heart skipped a beat, multiple beats.

You opened the door and was met with a smiley Jude.

"Hi." Jude breathed out with a smile. "Hi." you said with a smile.

There was a silence, but it was a comfortable silence. Within the silence, anyone could already tell that feelings were being shared and accepted.

Jude neared you. You froze and you felt your heart beating out of your chest.

Jude pecked your lips for a few seconds and it didn't take you long to kiss back.

HIs lips felt soft and plump. Just like how you imagined.

this was too sweet for me my braces started hurting more than usual /j

i loved writing this though its cheesy n shit but who said cheese doesnt taste good 🗣🗣

TAGLIST !!! :)

@mbapbaesluvr

If you guys wanna be added to my taglist, don't be afraid to leave a comment down this post or come dm me !!

[iluvshinytwink]

Tired Nights And A Pen - Jude Bellingham

"He said baby (that's what he called me), I love you. <3"

Synopsis: In which you can't sleep and decide to doodle on a sleeping Jude's arm !

Now Playing . . . Kingston by Faye Webster

a/n: im really sleepy and this song is literally flooding my fyp so yk i had to do my job 😜😜‼️

It was a cold night, Jude had his arm under your head as he snored peacefully. For some reason, you couldn't sleep, you didn't even feel tired.

Your eyes were wide open as you stared at the ceiling, the moon giving you a slight light.

You swore you could count every time Jude let out a snort in the middle of his sleep and every time he did you couldn't help but smile giddily.

Your body turned to Jude. His eyes were shut tight and his lips parted each other. A smile grew as the moon helped you see your boyfriend clearly.

The moon radiated against his skin, showing the minute details displayed on his face.

You then sat up from the bed, looking at Jude's right arm which was out and was used as your pillow.

An idea quickly sprang in your mind as you scuffled through your bedside table, looking for something.

Finally, a pen was between your fingers.

You fixed your position and you were now laying on your stomach as you opened the pen.

You started scribbling on Jude's arm. Drawing whatever had come to mind.

A smile grew on your face as you started drawing.

Stars, hearts, lyrics, a couple 'I love you's' were now tattooed into Jude's arm.

You then realized that Jude's rhythmic snoring had stopped.

"Baby?" His rustic voice called out, coming off almost a whisper. "Hi, baby." You whispered with a giggle. "What're you doing?" Jude asked softly, hands searching for you.

Jude's arm goes into sight and he sees the doodles you wrote.

With the moon's light, Jude could see the scribbles you had jolted down.

Jude chuckles, looking at his arm, fascinated.

"'I love you'" Jude read from his arm.

"That's so cute." Jude slurred, a tired smile on his face as he tried to pry his eyes open.

"I couldn't sleep, sorry, baby." You whispered, turning your body over to him.

"There's so many 'I love you's'." Jude giggled, examining his arm further.

Jude then pulled you close to him, your face now buried in his chest. You could hear his soft and calm heartbeat.

"Baby, I love you too." Jude slurred tiredly, putting his chin on top of your head.

I like writing about sleepy activities!! 😽😽

TAGLIST !!! :))

- @mbapbaesluvr

If you guys wanna be added to my taglist, leave a comment down this post or come dm me !!

[iluvshinytwink]

You Know It - Jude Bellingham

"Give me one more kiss before the boys arrive. But we'll be back before you know it !"

Synopsis: In which you give Jude one last kiss before he boards a plane to his match. :)

Now Playing . . . You Know It by Colony House

a/n: i failed my exam but i PASSED MY QUIZ. RWAGGGHHH IM CRACKED 🔥🔥🔥 i also fucked up the lyrics so it would make more sense hope u guys dont mind that LMAOAO

It wasn't rare that Jude had to go away from Germany to participate in matches, this was just one of the few times where you were forced to say goodbye to him.

Jude was extra smiley on the drive there. A big grin wrapped his face and his eyes glistened with joy and excitement.

Jude was looking out the window, admiring the clouds that you drove by, one airpod was tucked in his ear and the other was in his pocket. Jude tried to suppress his smile but he was ever so excited.

You noticed your smiley, giddy boyfriend instantaneously and you couldn't help but smile too.

"Why are you so smiley, baby?" you asked, grinning. Jude's head turned to you. "I don't know." Jude shrugged. "Maybe I'm just happy you're seeing me off." he added, lacing his fingers with yours. "Cringe." you moaned.

Jude cocks his head back in laughter. "It'll be those cringey romcom movies. The male lead chases the female lead in an airport to express his undying love to her after leaving his wife." Jude explained. You looked over to your boyfriend with a look mixed with confusion yet admiration. "When I put on those movies, I didn't expect you to actually watch them." you chuckled, tightening your grip on your boyfriend's hand.

"Oh, I do watch. You fall asleep 20 minutes in." Jude smugly smiled at you. You rolled your eyes, remembering the many movie nights you had with Jude which usually started with you sleeping and ended with Jude sleeping and you watching another movie.

As you parked at the airport, Jude gets out with enthusiasm. You follow shortly.

Jude was practically fidgeting with excitement, he was quite literally bouncing like he'd jump into the stratosphere.

Jude quickly took your hand to his, you felt his cold fingers hug your warm ones once more.

Jude looked at you with a smile, you could practically hear his beating heart.

The two of you entered the airport and made your way to Jude's gate where a private plane along with the other players awaited him.

"Are we late?" you chuckled, seeing Jude's teammates already boarding the plane.

"Jude, I thought your flight started at 11:00." you said, checking your watch. "I lied." Jude giggles, looking over to you like a child.

"Why would you lie?" you said, looking up from your watch, confused.

"Give me one last kiss." Jude whispered underneath his breath, you barely heard it. You were finding the words to say other than blabbing out flustered and confused sounds.

Jude's hand untangles itself from yours as he faced you properly.

"Jude Bellingham!" the flight attended had called. "Come on, baby. They're waiting for me." Jude hummed. You blinked and before you knew it you were face to face with your boyfriend as he looked at you tenderly and softly. You felt a blush wipe your cheeks.

Jude looks away from you for a second, at the gate was Giovanni Reyna and Karim Adayemi, his friends waiting for him.

Jude looked back, but not fast enough because your lips had quickly found his.

Jude's eyes widened and his heart fluttered out of his chest.

After a few seconds, you pull away. Jude stood there, bewildered.

You chuckled at your boyfriend's expression as you glance at the gate where Karim and Gio were fakely throwing up. You laughed.

"Now go!" you said, patting his side as he finally snapped into reality.

Jude's eyes blinked and his body flinched. A big smile wrapped his lips.

Jude quickly jogs to the receptionist. "Stay safe!" you shouted. "We will!" Giovanni shouts as Karim laughs.

"I'll be back before you know it!" Jude finally says before he gets shoved into the gate by Karim and Gio.

"That was so cringe." Giovanni groaned, continuing to push his friend into the gate.

Jude tried his best to look at you, ignoring the two grown men trying to push him. Jude waved goodbye at you which looked like he was flailing his arms for help.

You laugh as you wave goodbye too.

"I told you he watches rom coms." Karim says to Gio.

[iluvshinytwink]

One Day - Jude Bellingham

"One day, I know that you will be there. One day, I'll focus on the future. Maybe one day, oh baby isn't life so fucking inconsistent ?"

Synopsis: In which Jude knows he'll have to leave you behind in some point of his life. But all he really wanted to do was to keep living like an immature child, running into the depths of the night with you with no care of his responsibilities when tomorrow dawns.

Now Playing . . . One Day by Lovejoy

a/n: lovejoy and wilbur soot was a weird point in my life but ill be a liar if i didnt say it was one of the best points in my life

In the eyes of the camera, people would say that Jude was pretty mature and well-achieved for his age. His first world cup goal on his first appearance, pretty big deal, you know? And the way he handles media, people would think he was practically born for this life.

But deep down, away from the camera lenses, away from the flashing lights, he was still young. Young and immature. Young and free. Young and dumb.

But if there was anyone that was unbothered about his career, it would've been you. He loved how you didn't really care about what he did but you also supported and gave him every ounce of love to him and the sport he dedicated himself to.

But there were days where you were worried about him and his career. The nonsense rumors around the internet, the injuries he came home with, the pain yet joy the sport made you feel when you saw it all happen to your boyfriend.

But when he came home to you, life eased, life slowed down, he suddenly didn't feel any pain, any tiredness.

Every time he would come home to you, you would engulf him with a warm hug which seemingly made all the pain and sweat evaporate away.

He knew if life was unfair and hard, you would be there to take all his pain.

One night, deep into the night the two of you were out. The streets were empty and the only sounds around was the sound of laughter and the crickets which hid in the grass.

The cold wind brushed over the two of you as you continued running.

You didn't know where to run, or why you were running but Jude quickly chased after you.

The cold wind flew by you, making your hair fly as you tried your best to pick up the pace. "Where are you going!?" your boyfriend had yelled as you laughed. Don't ask me, I don't know either.

You finally stop running at a patch of grass, your hands were on your knees as you caught your breath.

Jude, who was running fast, couldn't stop in his tracks and eventually bumped into you, making both of you fall down.

Jude yelped out of fear and shock but you did nothing but laugh.

Your back was on the grass, arms spread out as you huffed and puffed for dear life. You looked above, seeing the moon and the stars displayed for you to see.

"Are you okay?" Jude laughed, looking over to you. "Uh huh." you quickly responded before resuming your breaths.

You could still feel the cold wind in your face, the adrenaline running through your veins.

You looked over to your boyfriend, he was in the same position as you. Laid on his back with his arms spread out, his mouth gaped open as he breathed in and out.

Your hand reaches out for his, 3 of your fingers intertwining with his. Jude looked over to you with his gaped mouth as he quickly smiled.

You looked back at the stars with a smile.

It was silent for a while.

"Jude, what will your future be?" you suddenly asked. Jude was ultimately caught off guard. "Why such a sudden question?" he laughed.

"I'm serious." you said, looking over to him. Jude looked at you back, trying to keep his smile.

Jude shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I'll still be playing. I'll still be with you." he said, tightening his grip on your hand.

"Really?" you whispered. "You still want to be with me?" you said out of the blue. Jude was really caught off guard this time. "Of course." Jude chuckled, thinking it was a joke.

"You make football, not so bad." he explained. "What club do you wanna play for?" you asked randomly once more. Jude had the urge to ask you why you were asking these questions. Well, he's heard these type of questions during interviews, but not you. Hell, most of the time you didn't act like he was a footballer, you acted like he was just a boy, your boyfriend.

"Wherever you want to go, I'll go too." Jude said plainly.

There was a lingering thought in Jude's mind that you were simply concerned about his career, he was too at some point, but you helped him forget about his career and helped him just-- be a person. Not some hot shot, just someone who was there for his girlfriend.

You were silent but Jude was guessing that wasn't the answer you wanted to hear.

"Life is so inconsistent, isn't it?" Jude started with a chuckle. You looked over to him. "Yeah." you whispered. "There's no.. clear path on where you're going. And, I hate that." he whispered as you continued to look at him.

"But if there's one place I know I can always go home to.." Jude trailed, facing you with a smile.

"It's you." he finished with a smile. "You're a clear path. You're always a path." Jude smiled brightly at the dust of pink in your cheeks. You smiled bashfully.

"But what about the path to the future?" you said. "It's a foggy path." you whispered.

"But you'll go down that path with me, right?" Jude said, gripping on your hand a bit tighter.

You looked over to him. You were certain of your answer, and you wanted your answer to be right.

"Yeah." you smiled.

The future was indeed a foggy path but if he had you going down that path with him, he was going to be alright.

But for now, he didn't want to focus on his future, maybe one day he will, but not right now.

[iluvshinytwink]

Confession 😧😧

I have a confession to make okay, last week my announcement post WAS true i DID have 3 fics including my Wednesday post.

But the reason why I didn't post it was because I didn't like it that much. Deadass no matter how much i read over them, tried to make new ideas surrounding the main idea, i couldn't find myself LIKING the other posts i was meaning to post.

And the reason why i don't like them that much is because they were mainly late night thoughts and thoughts that I can't execute properly

But even so, i still want to post them even if i don't know if everyone will understand so along with the 2 posts i meant to post LAST WEEK, ill try and make another fic rn

😞😞💔💔💔

[iluvshinytwink]

I Can't Say Goodbye To Goodbye - Jude Bellingham

Synopsis: There will be a time, however long or short where you have to accept goodbye. One day, sooner or later you will have to accept Jude has a future, a future that you may not be apart of.

a/n: this may or may not be related to the rumors of him going to real 😧😧

I think what's worse than saying goodbye is accepting goodbye. Sure, saying goodbyes can be tough and sometimes awkward but I think what hurts more is to first accept that they're leaving.

To accept is to realize.

To accept is to feel pain.

But we're humans, we all feel pain, and as soon as we feel pain, we try to stop it, right?

So if stopping the pain means ignoring the realization, ignoring the acceptance, so be it.

But what accepting truly means is to say goodbye, even if you're afraid to say it.

But what if I don't want to say goodbye to goodbye?

You always knew, in the back of your mind and heart that Jude wasn't going to stay in Germany forever. He was improving, gaining attention from across Europe. Sometimes, you hated he was improving. It may be selfish but there was just a lingering thought in you that sort of realized that you wouldn't know how to act, to feel, once Jude had moved from Germany.

But, that wasn't going to happen any time soon right?

Right?

You found yourself scrolling endlessly through social media as it was bombed with numerous rumors that your boyfriend was making a move to Real Madrid.

Your eyebrows crinkled as your eyes scanned through every article and as you did you could feel the entire world around you slowing down.

The clock on the wall ticked slowly, your breaths drew out long.

But what you hated the most about all this is that he didn't tell you first. You had to find out about this from another source, a source that probably isn't even true!

Before you could dwell on your thoughts any longer the front door creeks open.

You snap out of your thoughts, knowing damn well who was going to walk into you.

You felt your heart sink. You missed yet hated this feeling. This feeling of nervousness, fear, anxiety. It all came back to you and you didn't know why. Why should you be nervous about this?

Before you could drown yourself in your thoughts, a familiar voice called out your name. Your heart dropped again. You felt the sweat slowly accumulating your fingertips.

"In here!" you shouted back, almost in instinct. You insulted yourself by saying that.

You wanted to confront your boyfriend about these rumors and why he hadn't told you yet. You were upset yet scared.

"Hi, baby." Jude whispered with a smile, putting his things aside. You were so caught up with your thoughts you hadn't realized he was now in front of you. "Oh, hi." you managed to stammer out.

You looked at your phone, an article of your boyfriend displaying his picture from one of his many games. You fumbled with your fingers and started biting the insides of your cheeks, trying to find how to start this conversation.

"How was your day?" he asked, pecking your cheek. You blinked into reality once more. "Uh, fine. How about you?" you said, shuffling your phone into your pocket.

"Are you okay? You seem so jumpy." Jude joked. He was absolutely right. You weren't your usual self, you were so absorbed in your mind, your thoughts.

"I'm good. Just, a little tired, I guess." you chuckled.

You were still seated, looking out the window so Jude couldn't see how out of touch you seemed.

Suddenly, you feel something slip into your palm. You looked at your left hand and there sat a dark red rose. Your eyes glittered in amusement as your cheeks began flushing in pink.

"Got you one on the way home." Jude giggled, looking at you lovingly as he you stared at the rose. "Thank you, it's beautiful." you breathed out, twirling the rose around your fingertips.

It was now deep into the night. Jude held you close to him, your head situated on his chest as his chin was on top of your head. His warm embrace wrapped your body tightly as his soft snoring filled the room. But you couldn't sleep.

Your eyes were open to see the darkness around you.

The thought of him leaving had slipped into your mind once more. You tried to ignore the thoughts of it during the early hours of the night where you weren't alone with your thoughts.

You managed to ignore those thoughts because you were with Jude. The both of your combined laughter filled the room which left no space for those type of thoughts.

You were grateful that he managed to slip you out of reality for just a few hours.

But here you were, engulfed with only your thoughts.

You wanted to wake Jude up, so he could make you forget about the realities of life. So he could make you forget about accepting the truth.

Before you realized, tears had began slipping down your cheek.

You had only blinked and two tears fell from both your eyes. You hadn't even realized that the stinging in your eyes were because of tears.

You tried your best to wipe them clean but they kept coming.

Eventually, with your ruckus, you had woken Jude from his slumber.

Jude noticed you squiggling around in his arms and was slowly awoken.

"Babe?" his hoarse voice called out. You froze. "Stop moving." he scolded, bringing you even closer to him. "Sorry." you whispered, trying to hide the shakiness of your voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "You've been.. so out of touch with the world." he said softly. You froze up once more.

Oh shit.

"Nothing, baby. I was just a little stressed out, is all." you lied. "You sure?" Jude responded, clearly about to doze back to sleep. You hummed a response.

"You can tell me everything, you know that right?" he slurred out, a second away from going back to sleep. You hummed a response once more as another tear slipped down.

What if I told you I didn't want you to leave?

What if I didn't want to say goodbye?

What if I was afraid?

What if I didn't want to say goodbye to goodbye?

THEE END 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 i was literally ranting to myself at like 12 am because i couldnt sleep. i was ranting about accepting goodbye and then this idea literally flew over my head. i quickly made a draft and then slept LMAOAOO anywyas hope u enjoyed !!!

[iluvshinytwink]

IM BACK 🗣🗣🔥🔥

hi guys!!?@!?@?!11!! i was like originally done with my exams like a week ago but i only had started writing like yesterday and ive finished 3 fics already 😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧 they're short and probably not the ones you expected i post this week but it'll do

im gonna try to start on another request in a few hours i really need to get out of my chair because my ass hurts bro

Also the test i cheated on, i passed 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[iluvshinytwink]

ANNOUNCEMENT

hi schnookies!!!! its almost summer and we all know what that means, end of the school year exams!!

today i had 2 quizzes (i cheated on one 💀💀) and a dancing exam thing and tomorrow, which all of you know as my posting day is another day of my exams. Tomorrow my exam will be an acting thing shit whatever tf and thursday-friday will be my written exams.

by reading all that i think you all know what im trying to say, i cannot post for the entire weekday. 💔💔

but after all my exams will finally be the start of my summer meaning i can finally prioritize eating, sleeping and tumblr !!! :))

thank you for all the support and even though i havent said this for god knows how long MAKE SURE TO SMASHSHSHHSHS THAT LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANEGRS LIKE DEEZ!!!! 😱

[iluvshinytwink]

French Toast - Jude Bellingham

Synopsis: In which you have to wake up earlier than Jude for your work leaving you to make breakfast for him !

a/n: i made myself french toast for a snack and watched tiktok to completely forget that i still have a magazine to layout or wtv 🙁

Jude disliked waking up to go to training and do his responsibilities as a footballer but he hated it even more when he woke up alone. The other side of his bed ruffled and his arm out for a person that wasn't there.

You had work, earlier than him and his work was already pretty early. The first time you left, Jude found himself panicked and worried only to find out you had to go to work.

"Jude's eyes stay closed but his ears weren't. He could hear his bed sheets ruffling, like someone was trying to escape. Jude's eyes pry open slightly, shifting his head to the noise. "Babe?" he murmured tiredly. You flinch but calm down quickly. "Morning, Jude." you replied. Jude noticed your voice wasn't laced with grogginess so he quickly came to the conclusion you were awake more than him.

"You gonna go take a piss?" Jude groggily joked, turning away from you, hogging all the sheets. "No." you giggled. "I'm off to work." you said, standing up. Jude shifted to you. "This early?" Jude's eyes widened. "Yes, baby." you laughed. "Why are you surprised? You go to work early too." you rolled your eyes, smoothing your clothes against your body. "Yeah, but not this early!" Jude protested. "Shut up. Go back to sleep, okay?" you said with a smile.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Jude said, making you stop when you were almost out the door. "What?" you laughed, looking back at your boyfriend.

Jude looked at you with a tired smile before tapping his cheek two times, signaling for a kiss. You chuckled, rolling your eyes at the childish gesture.

"What am I going to do with you?" you whispered, cupping his cheeks. His half-open eyes looked at you with a goofy smile. You chuckled once more before planting a kiss on his lips.

Everyday when Jude wakes up, he prays that the warmth covering him was your body and not the blanket you comfortably wrapped him.

Jude found himself with his eyes closed and his ears open once more. Although he could tell that his bedroom stayed dark he heard familiar, all too familiar shuffling.

Jude without hesitation finds your hand and he grips it softly. You yelp out of fear, looking at your boyfriend who's eyes remained closed but the cheeky smile wrapping his lips said otherwise.

"Jude!" you groaned, calming your heart. Jude laughs at you, his eyes finally prying open.

"Stay a while, please. Just a few minutes." Jude pleaded with a whisper. You felt your cheeks dust pink as you smiled back at him. "You'll see me later tonight, Jude." you reasoned. Jude sighed, knowing that he couldn't convince you to stay. You feel Jude's grip on your wrist loosening as his hand retreats away.

Jude opens his eyes being met with his ceiling. He wanted to look to his side to see if you were still there even though there was a big percentage of you no longer being there.

Jude's head falls to the side and finds the other side of his bed empty. A sigh escapes his lips as he closes his eyes tiredly.

One day, maybe one day his prayers would finally be heard. He would wake up one day and find you still being there. He would wake up and find your peaceful face and hear your soft snoring.

Jude's eyes flutter open, being met with the same ceiling he's always awoken to. His body was hugged with warmth as the cold desperately tried to pry in with no avail. The warmth was so comforting, almost like someone's touch. Almost, though.

Jude quickly sits up. He blinks slowly, looking beside him, empty as always. No matter how many times he ended his nights with you there was something in him that wanted to keep the night going. Something in him to prevent himself from sleeping so he could see you in the crack of dawn when you slip away from his touch.

Jude enters his shower with a sigh. The cold water ran through his body freely, slowly soaking him wet. The coldness of the water getting rid of his tiredness

Jude descends his flight of stairs, not enthusiastic for the start of his day. He quickly goes to his kitchen to get a quick breakfast before going to training until something on his table caught his eye.

Jude nears the table, confused.

On top of the table sat a plate of french toast which was surprisingly still warm. Beside the plate was a small pitcher of honey and a neatly folded letter.

Jude's eyes lit up, feeling a rush of serotonin rushing his veins. A warm smile wrapped his lips as he picked up the letter.

Jude's eyes scanned the letter and with every word he feels his smile grow larger and larger.

Jude takes a piece of the french toast and pops it in his mouth. A crunch was heard whilst biting into the toast. A wave of mild sweetness explored his mouth and he kept eating with a soft smile.

this is kind of doodoo im ngl but its okay 🙄🙄

[iluvshinytwink]

"Did you just say you love me?" - Jude Bellingham

"Be my lover every night."

Synopsis: In which you're baking with Jude as a date where Jude plans to say his first 'I love you' to you !

Now Playing . . . Ruthless by The Marias

a/n: i may or may not have gotten this idea from a show ive been binge watching for the past month 🙄🙄

ITWASJUSTAREALLYCUTEIDEAOKAY..

This also may or may not be an escape to forget im a layout artist for my exam and i literally have nothing in mind.

When Jude wanted to bake in your house you were a little skeptic, well, a little nervous on the fact he might burn your house down. This was your 6th date with your boyfriend and every date felt better then the last! Not this one though since there was a probability your house would burn down.

With enough promises that your house wouldn't burn down from your boyfriend you reluctantly agreed to it.

"Jude?" You greeted confused over the phone.

"Hi! I'm gonna come over by 5, okay?" Jude's enthusiastic voice said from the other line.

"Huh? I thought your practice was until 6?" You asked, sipping your drink. "They'll understand." Jude laughed. "And you already have the ingredients set and everything?" You smiled. "Yeah, duh. I have cookie cutters and everything!" Jude giggled which made you roll your eyes out of embarrassment and a little amusement. "Okay, bye then, Pillsbury Doughboy." You joked with a smile.

"Yeah, bye-- I--" Jude stammered. "I?" You chuckled, waiting for him to finish his statement. "I-- I'll see you later." Jude quickly said before ending the call.

Jude dug his phone in his pocket with a sigh and a racing heart. Right there. He was gonna slip, right there. A sigh escapes Jude's lips. He was so close to saying the forbidden words: "I love you". He's been wanting to tell you those words ever since the first date ended and a few minutes ago he was about to say it, over phone of all places.

This date was about having fun and making cute things with his girlfriend but mostly, this was the date where he wanted to say the forbidden words to you. The words that's been on his mind every time he looked at you. The words he wanted to say to you then and now. The words he wanted to hear from your lips too.

Jude hops in his car, checking the time which read 4:35pm. Jude looks over to the passenger seat where a brown bag full of baking equipment laid on top. Jude spots a bright red shape peeking out of the brown bag and decides to take it out.

It was a bright red cookie cutter. Jude couldn't help but smile as his heart raced knowing that he bought that stupid little cutter just for this occasion. Maybe you'll laugh at him wholeheartedly because of the cutter or you were going to giggle uncontrollably because of how cute it was, either way, he'd enjoy it with every passing minute.

You went over to your kitchen and started preparing. Jude didn't specify what the two of you were going to bake as you didn't bother to ask.

You wiped a damp cloth on your counter as your heart started pounding. Even after all these dates you couldn't help but feel giddy whenever you knew he was coming.

You didn't know what specifically was gonna go through this date but all you knew was that your house was going to be filled with honey-dipped laughter and pounding hearts.

About 30 minutes pass and you hear a knock on your door.

"Landlord!" The voice shouts. You felt your eyes rolling to the back of your skull knowing who this voice was.

Your hand twists the doorknob, opening it.

Your eyes meet his and you couldn't help but feel a dust of pink powdering your cheeks.

"Hi." Jude breaths out with a smile, his pearly whites peeking. "Hey." You whispered with a bashful smile.

"I didn't know my landlord could be so cute." You said, breaking the silence. "I didn't know either." Jude laughs as he enters your house.

"What're we baking?" You asked as Jude places a big brown bag on your counter. "Cookies!" Jude says with a smile, you smiled back joyously. "All this stuff for cookies?" You said, looking over the brown bag which was filled to the top with whatever ingredients Jude thought may be needed for cookies.

Jude begins taking out the items from the brown bag and you immediately noticed the bright red cookie cutter along with other cutters. A blush dusted your cheeks as you examined it.

Jude looks over to you, smiling. "This is so cute." You breathed out. "You bought this for me?" You said, looking into his eyes. Jude nodded with a chuckle.

Jude stirred the batter in a pot while you watched. "I want to stir." You said. Jude giggles, continuing to stir. "No, you're in charge of decorating." Jude said, looking over to you. "I'm the brawn, you're the beauty." Jude says with a proud smile.

You and Jude sat on the floor, eyes glued on your oven as the orange light illuminated both of your faces.

"Do you think we added enough chocolate chip cookies?" Jude whispers to you. "I think we added too much." You whispered back.

You looked over to Jude, his eyes still on the oven. You could see the orange light shade his face and you could also see the orange light in his eyes as he stared with focus. His mouth was gaped a little as he stared.

A warm smile wrapped your lips.

Around 30 minutes pass and that was 30 minutes of Jude doing nothing but sitting on your kitchen floor as he stared at the cookies which slowly rose.

"I think they're done!" Jude shouts excitedly. An excited yelp was heard from you as you quickly got your oven mittens.

You opened the oven and soon came an aroma thag engulfed the both of you. Jude takes a big inhale before exhaling, pleased with the smell.

You place the baking pan on your counter as Jude followed the aroma like a hungry dog.

"Can we put the cutters in now?" Jude whispered with awe. "Not yet, you're gonna burn yourself." You laughed. "But it smells so good!" Jude exclaimed. "Just wait another 15-25 minutes, Jude." You rolled your eyes, dragging your boyfriend away from the cookies.

The two of you were situated on the couch, your knees hugged to your chest as a show played on the TV. Jude's head was on your shoulder as he was slowly drifting to sleep.

"Tired from baking already?" You whispered to your boyfriend. "No." Jude blurted. "Maybe." Jude whispers.

The two of you were now back in your kitchen as the two of you hovered on the fresh batch of cookies.

Jude quickly took a cutter and pressed it on the batch. You laughed at his excitement. You quickly took the heart-shaped one and pressed it on the pan.

Jude takes a small piece of the pan and pops it in his mouth. You looked over to him, waiting for a look of approval or disappointed.

Jude's eyes quickly light up and his lips tug into a pleased smile. "Mm!" Jude exclaims. Jude takes another piece and offers it to you.

Your hand was about to reach out for the given piece before you decided to open your mouth for Jude to pop it in.

You opened your mouth with a giggle. Jude smiled wholeheartedly, placing the piece of cookie in your mouth.

You took a piping bag in your hands which was filled with mild frosting to decorate the cookies with. Jude takes another piping bag and begins to decorate his own heart-shaped cookie.

Jude takes a deep breath. This is where his plan was finally going into motion. He was going to write 'I love you' on the cookie and hope you got the message and hopefully reciprocate the message.

"I'm done with mine!" You squealed, looking down on your cookie. "I'm done too." Jude sighs with relief. You face your boyfriend, eyes looking for his plate with his cookie. You looked at his part of the counter and noticed that there was no plate with no cookie. You looked over to your boyfriend who was also facing you and with his hands behind his back and a cheeky smile wrapping his lips.

You laughed, excited with whatever design he made that made him hide it from you.

"Close your eyes." Jude whispered with a smile, nearing you. You closed your eyes as you tried to fight your smile.

Jude takes a deep breath, heart racing and itching.

Jude brings the plate to his chest, he looked down at the cookie once more trying to see if there were any imperfections.

Jude's head then lifts to you where you were still smiling giddily.

Jude then thought if you weren't going to say the words back, his heart sinks. He looked back at you and he suddenly calmed down. Deep down he knew that you loved him even without even saying it. And he hoped that deep down you knew that too.

"Open your eyes." Jude whispered and you did so. Your eyes quick found the plate and quickly read the message displayed.

"I love you." The cookie read. Your mouth gaped open as your heart began beating faster. You looked up to your boyfriend to be assured of the message.

"I love you." Jude said a little weakly. Your eyes met his and his eyes displayed nothing but love, love that was for you.

"I love you too." You breathed out with a smile.

This was so detailed for what ☹️💔💔 i love making fluff ‼️‼️ with all the angsts i've made i think i've forgotten how fun writing fluff was WAGHHGGAGAGAG

I SWEAR BRO BEABADOOBEE AND THE MARIAS DOES SOMETHING TO YOU ESPECIALLY WHEN UR WRITING FLUFF 😼😼😼

[iluvshinytwink]

ANNOUNCEMENT !!

Regarding the pt. 2 of "The Other Woman" and possibly "Lovefool" I will break it to you now 😞😞 I won't post it today. It's just not done pookies I'm sorry 💔

BUT 🗣🗣

In apology, I do have like 2 fluff's ready for you guys 💋🤞

In my defense I already posted 2 angst's last week 🙄🙄

Yeah that's all bye wookies 😱😱