ilyuidiot

[ilyuidiot]

finals week aesthetic

raucous 2am conversations with classmates you've come to see as friends

giggling over your latest cup of coffee, dark circles under your eyes

the sense of pride that only comes from hard work

upbeat music playing through your headphones

papers splayed across your floor, covered in notes and highlighter marks

the instant of silence right before an exam begins

timed essay questions, racing to get your thoughts down on paper

cozy sweatpants and your comfiest sweater

the bluish glow of a vending machine at midnight

settling in at your favorite desk in the library

google searches that get more nonsensical as the night goes on

study guides and flashcards, the culmination of all you've learned

the rush of hitting submit on your final assignment

[ilyuidiot]

idk I just personally think that getting chills from music is the best part of being alive. like when a song is so good you can feel it in your whole body. that's why I'm here.

[ilyuidiot]

tranquil mornings, farmers market peaches, divine timing, iced espresso, silk dresses, the glow of natural oils and sun, handpicked blooms, warmth only God can give.

[ilyuidiot]

obsessed with mass market paperbacks. their pleasing rectangular proportions. how they fit badly in a hoodie pocket so you can drag them around everywhere with you like a temporary little buddy. the way they fit in your hand because they're MADE for human hands and not as bookshelf decoration. the way the pages feel when you riffle them gently with your thumb. How pristine and crisp they look when you get them and how creased and folded they look when you're done, even if you try to be nice to them. how that wear is okay, how that's correct actually, because they're made with the philosophy that books aren't meant to be PRETTY, they're meant to be read. that little ripple new ones get on the left side from where you hold them when you're reading, the way the ripple only goes as far as you've read, because u change stories by reading as they are changing you. how you can find thousands of these creased and folded and loved little dudes in every thrift store and used book shop and neighborhood library and you can instantly see the ones that someone carried around in a backpack for weeks or read to pieces or gave up on halfway through because they wear being read like fresh snow wears footprints. I love these poorly made, subpar little rectangles so much. truly the people's books.

[ilyuidiot]

as a true yearner I could be working 60 hours a week and have 100 hobbies and still crave love you just wouldn’t get it

[ilyuidiot]

propaganda i am not falling for:

always moving on. some goodbyes need to rot a little. some griefs need to be held in the mouth like a stone.

beauty defined by algorithms. beauty exists in crow feet and smile lines

pretending to be chill. i’m not chill. i care deeply and inconveniently. i read into things. i write poems about eye contact

beige apartments with no soul. give me bookshelves and incense and loud art

sneaky links and unclear intentions. i want devotion. and also clarity

treating books as decor. read them. dog-ear them. argue with them in the margins

[ilyuidiot]

current hobby: missing autumn

[ilyuidiot]

Life's better when nobody knows anything about you

[ilyuidiot]

eat a fruit that you like. take a little walk and pay attention to the trees. dance to music alone in ur room. it’s the small things that will heal you

[ilyuidiot]

I want romance. I want laughter. I want the 3am love making. I want consistency. I want loyalty. I want the random looks of admiration. I want to know you're just for me. I want date nights and flowers. I want truth. I want priority. I want love that's pure and calming.

[ilyuidiot]

i would like 2 sit on someone’s lap n make out for 3 hrs

[ilyuidiot]

no shade but the peace i have now was worth everything i left

[ilyuidiot]

i love spring because the whole day feels like summer morning

[ilyuidiot]

I am grateful for headphones for allowing me to listen to songs on repeat forty times without completely maddening other people.

[ilyuidiot]

those lonely girl walks in the crisp autumn weather just hit different

[ilyuidiot]

brown works so hard and does so much and everyone is so mean to her. coffee chocolate hair leather tea wood eyes broth a warm coat autumn leaves caramelized onions the crust on a loaf of bread. all things good and warm and kind are brown. bitch!

[ilyuidiot]

New England Gothic:  haunted lighthouses and mills, long-dead widows in windows still awaiting their lovers to return from sea and war, abandoned colonial homes, headless horsemen roaming in the fog, creaking wrought iron gates that lead to ancient institutions, overgrown chimneys and fireplaces still standing in the middle of forests, town secrets dating to the 1600s, tracks in the snow where no one has been, the glow of eyes in the darkness of a covered bridge, the deadly grip of winter freezing time itself, snowstorms cutting the town off from the rest of the world, crumbling rock walls, fallen leaves that blanket the dead in their cozy old cemeteries, winding roads through the woods that never end, ships lost in the fog, and the witches who weren’t caught… they’re still here.