im-a-goat-in-disguise

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Problemista (2023) dir. Julio Torres

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

This article is a wild read

going to a family reunion for a friend who wants to just fuck w their family and we need ideas

so far:

we are going as parent and child

i am going full trad goth

im mentioning my cats as children but not clarifying they are cats

casually mentioning im trying to get my trans gf pregnant

telling them i draw furry porn for a living

calling each other dongle doo and yoyo instead of dad and child

using my full spanish name and offering my hebrew name as an alternative is they can’t pronounce the first one

Fuel me more

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

I just want to assure my younger followers that, yes, the lead up to Iraq was virtually identical and just as transparent and stupid in its attempts to manufacture consent in the general public.

AND IT WORKED. BOTH TIMES.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

In the late 1970s a glowing orb appeared in the sky. Every day at about 5:00 Greenwich standard time, the orb would go somewhere new, shoot out something similar to a laser, and kill one person. Every day, always at the same time, always exactly one person.

The person killed by the orb seemed completely random, with almost fifty years of studying it we've been able to find no rhythm or reason to who it kills. It kills the old, the young, the rich, the poor, the urban, the rural, anyone. Every human on earth seems to have an equal chance of being killed by the orb. It's a headline the few times someone of note is killed by the orb: Britain famously lost a Parliament member to the orb, Brazil to this day remains the only country where a head of state was killed by the orb while in office, there was a short lived sitcom in the 1990s called Friends that ended halfway through its first season due to the orb killing one of the main actors on set. However, these are outliers, on any given day the person who dies via orb is very likely to be someone you never heard of. There are billions of people on earth, and only one is killed by the orb every day. In almost fifty years only a little over 18000 have died because of the orb, which is nothing in the face of the sheer amount of humans that exist.

When the orb first appeared people were horrified. Both the US and USSR thought it was a weapon from the other side. Almost every religion made some claim of it being proof of their beliefs, oftentimes claiming it was divine punishment. Atheists claimed it was proof no loving God could exist. People were so very apocalyptic and horrified by it, they thought of it as part of the end times, because when it was new that's really how it looked.

However, it's been long enough so that's changed. Most people have lived their entire lives in a world where the orb exists. The orb isn't that scary a concept. People know their odds of being killed by it are low and that it's not going to end the world or anything. The orb has become normal, and we've accepted that the orb is just something that kills people the same way cancer, or heart attacks, or natrual disasters, or car crashes kill people. In the nineteen eighties there were efforts to find a way to stop the orb, but it's since proven to be extremely difficult, and it's as distant and nebulous as finding a cure for cancer. When a community is struck by the orb you'll see that community in mourning, but it's not a global thing anymore.

So people grow up learning about the orb, as part of science, like anything else. A lot of gen z remembers learning about the orb from Magic School Bus. It's just something normal. There are a few people with an orb hyperfixation, and a few cults that give the orb importance but it's not most people's concern. The orb is how we first confirmed that interdimensional objects existed and are possible. A lot of people theorize dimensional studies wouldn't exist without it, meaning without the orb we might not have thermitizers or grand drives, we might not even have a moon base without the orb. Some have even rather tastelessly claimed that the orb has saved more lives at this point than its taken with all the knowledge it's given us.

Which is why I regret to inform you, that just last week, without warning, the orb killed two people in one day. And for the past seven days it's been killing two people instead of just one. Nobody knows why.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Tumblr algorithm meta-commentary I guess

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

one of my favorite twitter accounts that is defunct now is it was this account called like Crazy Optical Illusions or something and they would just post popular optical illusions but edit them so they werent optical illusions anymore and they would just pretend and people would be very confused / angry in the comments

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

guy who does unboxing videos but he only talks about the boxes

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Just got the most low effort scam call

Automated voice: "I am Caira from Human Resources. Please add my number on whatsapp" (hangs up) like. whats even the point here. nothing is being achieved. you're cherrypicking from a cherrypicked selection of targets, here, in the slowest and least effective way possible

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

hate when I can hear my computer working overtime to do literally nothing, open task manager, see CPU at 46% for a few milliseconds, before it drops to 5% and the fans die down. what were you doing .

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Okay you guys.

IF YOU PRIMARILY DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH reply with what you mentally call it, if you have a nickname for it or something