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ADHD Emotional Tricks

So, the ADHD brain has specific “emotional tricks” to get done what it thinks it needs to get done. But these are unhealthy and take up a lot of energy to be working with. So, it is good to be aware of them to try so that healthier coping methods can be established in their place.

To start off, anxiety is key to the ADHD brain motivation. To compensate for the lack of focus and forgetfulness, being anxious and on constant high alert is the automatic go-to response. By constantly worrying about what is being done wrong, the ADHD brain catches what it would otherwise miss since it is looking so intently around it. However, while it achieves what it set out to do, it an incredibly exhausting and mentally unhealthy coping mechanism.

As an unhealthy coping mechanism, anxiety often runs too high and has to be dealt with. This leads to two other ADHD brain coping mechanisms: avoidance and procrastination. Avoidance is forgetting the task that is causing so much anxiety (therefore easing the intensity of it) and instead doing other tasks. Being redirected to a different task (usually the less important ones) keeps the feeling of being productive but it is not so stress-inducing. Procrastination is using stress and anxiety to power through an unpleasant task very fast at the last minute. Essentially, it is delayed anxiety. A high is created from the adrenaline rush (which pleases the brain because more dopamine) but it never leads to the ADHD brain’s good work.

Other ADHD coping mechanism are anger and shame/self-loathing. Anger moves the ADHD brain to action; it makes the ADHD brain feel strong and motivated to act against the source of its anger. It usually is targeted at the smaller, more annoying tasks that have been put off for a while. Shame and self-loathing are a longer acting coping mechanism. By being ashamed of imagined disappointment or failure gives the ADHD brain the motivation to push through the tasks it has to do. This shame leads to self-loathing over time. Perceived as “self-discipline” by the ADHD brain, false beliefs are created to make it more miserable and to therefore be motivated to escape that misery. There should be zero-tolerance for shame and self-loathing because they are incredibly corrosive and unhelpful; they damage more than just a work ethic.

Source:

Attitude - ADHD Emotional Tricks

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ADHD Reward System Info

So, normal brains can self-regulate their dopamine levels to meet the demands that are required of them and have a good amount of control over their behaviors. They can go ahead and do tasks without emotional or sensation-based distractions. 

But ADHD brains can’t self-regulate, instead, they follow a pattern of regulation - the search for “optimal stimulation”. Long-term dopamine pay-off or mild pay-off isn’t really produced in ADHD brains as they do not regulate their levels so bigger, quicker ways to produce the good stuff are what the brain looks for. This low level of dopamine also messes with their ability to control behaviors. 

 This lack of behavior control comes from how much dopamine is there to push the brain through. There is a difference between external and internal demands; the internal demands are so much more meaningful to the ADHD brain because they produce so much more dopamine. This means that tasks to do have a significantly less value and are a lot harder to do. Also, the brain rewards high-risk, impulsive, substance/addictive behavior which also affect the decision-making and behaviors of the ADHD brain. 

ADHD brains overreact or under-react to stimuli to compensate for this dopamine problem. Under-reacting means there will be a search for more and more stimulation and it will be uncomfortable to engage with low-level stimulation. Overreacting means sensory overload and a irritation, frustration and distress when it is not possible to control how much stimulation the brain is experiencing; they look for pleasure within a safe space. 

Other aspects of this dopamine motivated behavior apply to food and sleep. Food is it is a part of dopamine regulation. Also, the ADHD brain has less glucose delivered to it so  overall there is more signals for carbs and sugary foods, especially foods like chocolate. Sleeping early is harder for ADHD brains because the sleep regulating part of the brain is malfunction making night the time to be awake and doing things. 

Source:

Attitude - ADHD Reward System

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i am going to start with I think I have ADHD. maybe. and that’s why I am starting this blog? journal? I need a place to keep track of things and to vent. it might be weird to be writing for a hypothetical audience since I am pretty sure no one will read this but I think the process of explaining myself, going through my thought processes and thoughts and plans will give it more tangibility and more weight. It will help me work through what I have going on in my brain. 

I hesitate to say I actually have ADHD because I am self-diagnosing and that’s not a reliable or accurate method to reach to this conclusion. But I do have reasoning:

I relate to a lot of ADHD specific things. My best friend has ADHD, my partner has it, and a few other friends. So I think I have a good idea of what it looks like. I think some of the reasons I started these specific relationships is based on our ability to relate to common experiences with how we live our lives

I procrastinate a lot with little to no impulse control. I don’t think it mattered before in school because I was required to attend classes which meant to some extent I was engaged. I’m one of those people who is easily entertained so I learned a lot in classes. But there were always missed projects and due dates. That is not new. Just the bigger emphasis and need to work linearly. It affects me a lot now but I can’t seem to stop. 

my reward system is messed up. I don’t get satisfaction when I finish homework because I can’t view tasks individually, it is all one mass. I do well with short self-imposed projects, ones I can see the end to with no risk of failure. If it is easy or really enjoyable, I don’t mind it being longer and more drawn out (although I do get bored and will switch to something else) but with harder things, it takes a stamina and sheer will I don’t have most of the time

I am unfocused like all the time. It’s a little like being blind. I’m trying so hard to do something I need to, like find my headphones, and it feels like I am looking or doing so without being able to actually see. Like I checked all my pockets on me twice, my backpack also twice, all my classrooms I had been to in the last three hours and it turns out my headphones were in my hoodie pocket, the one I forgot existed. I even stopped to think where they could be and I still forgot. apply that to actually doing stuff and it seems that everything takes forever and needs checking twice. 

When I do focus, I focus randomly, sporadically, and very intensely. I can sit for hours but not do anything will help me in the long run. I will play Terraria for hours straight to avoid thinking about the project I have too little time left to do and and might break down from the stress of all that to do at once. I will paint and paint and paint but I will avoid the charcoal drawing my teacher assigned and is integral to my grade. I start writing but never finish. 

I hate making decisions. Not necessarily for myself because I have a good idea of what my preferences are but when my decisions involve others, I freeze. The idea of having to make a choice that directly affects others means I have to gauge and consider what they want which I am terrible at. Since I am unable to synthesize and weigh the pros and cons myself, I cannot take the decision since information is missing.

I struggle to impose a routine. I am supposed to be trying to sleep right now. Being consistent takes willpower. Revenge bedtime procrastination is a thing I constantly struggle with. 

There is probably more but I can’t currently list anymore things off the top of my head. I will add more as I go. The reason I wrote it out like this is because I want to address most of these reasons and get better at minimizing how they affect my life. Self-therapy of sorts. Honestly, I think I missed this part of myself for so long because I never had to deal with it. I have a knack for understanding concepts quickly. I don’t have to work really hard at understanding my schoolwork, only remembering so that got me through a lot of it. But it left me without coping strategies or support. I am trying to build this up slowly. 

Goals for next time:

- post within 1-3 days

- make some sort of list of short term goals; an accountability for the present not long term idea growth