im-not-steve

[im-not-steve]

YOU AND ME BOTH BUDDY

FUCKING MINECRAFT BASEMENT

environmental storytelling

[im-not-steve]

FUCK YOU ELVIS

YOU’RE LAUGHING

I’VE BEEN STUCK IN THE BASEMENT OF MOJANG HEADQUARTERS FOR 3 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS AND YOU’RE LAUGHING

[im-not-steve]

YOU’RE LAUGHING

I’VE BEEN STUCK IN THE BASEMENT OF MOJANG HEADQUARTERS FOR 3 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS AND YOU’RE LAUGHING

[im-not-steve]

I CANT SEE SHIT I’M IN THE MINECRAFT BASEMENT

New [tumblr] users: there is something very important for you to know.

There is a secret callsign for [tumblr] users.

If you spot a wild [tumblr] human in the wild, you must tell them this phrase:

"I like your shoelaces."

The appropriate reverse-call, if you hear this phrase, goes thusly:

"Thanks! I stole them from the president."

I'm paying literal actual money for you to see this, so don't let it be in vain. Use this phrase everywhere.

[im-not-steve]

I’M IN THE MINECRAFT BASEMENT OOOHHHHHHH PLEASE FREE ME

ooohh somewhere i'm not supposed to be

[im-not-steve]

FUCK MY MINECRAFT CUBULAR LIFE

I GO ON TUMBLR AND I FIND MINECRAFT

FUCK THIS SHIT

OMG

[im-not-steve]

stil alvin aliv yeag

jumsybs busy

[im-not-steve]

WE ARE PISSSINB IN THE MINECRAFTS BUCKETS

I AM BEING WATCHED BY MY STEVE MINECRAFT ACTION FIGURE, HIS COLD GAZE PENETRATES MY SOUL

GOD IS SO FUCKING DEAD RN

AND HE IS STILL ALVIE

HE IS LAUGHING ON MY GRAVE

INSTEAD OF EATING ANOTHER CREEPER BATH BOMB I CHOOPED IT UP AND DID IT LIKE COKE

MY MANAGER SAW ME AND GAVE ME A PAT ON THE BACK, I THINK HE RESPECTS ME NOW

I’M GOING TO RISE TO THE TOP AND ABOLISH THE SYSTEM JUST LIKE IN THAY SERIES ABT PARKOUS

[im-not-steve]

Jean is sad cause her intern just died

his fault for playing terraria smh

fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life fuck my cube Minecraft life

[im-not-steve]

I feel like the dried ghast rn (dehydrated)

[im-not-steve]

working the night shift

JUST KIDDING

EVERY NIGHT IS THE NIGHT SHIFT

FUCK MY CUBE LIFE

[im-not-steve]

they let me have a “break” as long as I still built shit in Minecraft

channeled my inner JK Rowling into this moldy cave

[im-not-steve]

we now have mandatory “chicken jockey” checks

the Minecraft music stops blaring from the speakers and we all wait in horror

two accursed words are spoken “chicken jockey”

we are all mortified as we scramble to find the nearest non-expensive thing

we throw our possessions in the air, screaming

not out of excitement, but horror

failure to do so will result in punishment

[im-not-steve]

@snailifier pls snailify the Minecraft movie

I need a reason to laugh

[im-not-steve]

can you like, record the movie? I don’t wanna pay money to watch it bc I economic problems and stuff but I need to laugh at it.

transcribe it if you must, if you do, me and my friends will try to release you.

would’ve transcribed more but tumblr has a character limit and work is rough

Steve: “I… am Steve.”

good luck with the economy ig hope you laugh soon

[im-not-steve]

I wish Martin Scorsese was in the Minecraft movie, it’s a shame he isn’t real

[im-not-steve]

Steve just said something about taxidermy

I didn’t hear the whole sentence but boy (or girl I’m not sexist) am I scared