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imagining-constantly · 3 years

Text

Kiss her you fool!

↳ 4 times you best friend has wanted to punch you. Your lips. With his.

pairing: ice hockey player! Donghyuck x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, mutual pining (?), slow burn, best friends to lovers! AU

warnings: swearing, poor descriptions of a hockey game and how it works because i cannot research for shit <3, donghyuck breaks into a fight by whacking an opponent with his hockey stick, and mentions of blood, and a quick middle finger

word count: 15.7k words

a/n: h a h a did i say 9k+? if + i meant 7000 MORE WORDS THEN YEAH HAHA

finally!!!!!!!!!! after months of procrastination, plot change, and lots of sleepless nights, this is my first ACTUAL LONG FIC. like i never expected to write more than 10k but here i am with 15k :0 this is part of @lucas-wongs 's (previously hosted by leemrks but they deactivated) nct sports collab!!

note: i am aware that dongnyuck's date does not have a name idk i just wrote it like that for some reason i didnt realize until i edited IEJHF

inspired by the song 'kiss her you fool' by Kids that fly

taglist: @neoturtles @knet-bakery @kokonomi @twozeronet @ddontyoumind @dreamyyang @junglewoos @jaeminallover @taeyonggalaxy @eggbutnotyolk @sakusakei-omi @m1ss-foodi3 @btssf9nct (some of the tags didnt work :( )

You met Donghyuck at the age of 15, when you were forced to study at the local library with your childhood friend Jaemin. You two didn't want to be there, and neither did Donghyuck. You all sat in the same area, with different books, but all doing the same thing, dozing off.

Jaemin went to sleep almost immediately, but you and Donghyuck stayed awake, looking around for something to happen.

It was when you two met in the non-fiction section when you grew curious of him. He held a blue book in his hands, looking as desperate as ever as he gripped the book hard.

It was a book on ice hockey. You thought of all the possibilities of what he must be thinking, your mind filling with thoughts as your eyes trail to his oversized hockey uniform hanging loosely by his shoulders.

You didn't realize the fact that he caught you observing him, only when he sighed and shut the book with such force.

"What?"

"H-huh?"

"What do you want? Why are you staring at me?"

The words in your throat stutter out as you gape at the 15 year old in front of you in shock. "Oh- I, u-uh..."

Donghyuck gives you a weird look, placing the book back on the shelf, before turning to walk away.

"W-why do you look so sad?"

The boy turns back around in surprise, blinking blankly at you. He really didn't expect you to say anything. Donghyuck stays silent, waiting for a further explanation.

"I-I mean when you read the book. It's ice hockey, a-and you're wearing an ice hockey jersey. But you looked genuinely sad reading it, why?"

And then he tells you about his sprained ankle, how he wouldn't be able to try out for his middle school's ice hockey team, how he gave up on his dream and apparently, home much he hates ice hockey.

He truly thought he had no chance with his dream.

That was until you helped him.

You helped him through his hard times, helped him through his sprained ankle, encouraged him to not give up on his dream, to ask for a second chance for the ice hockey team, through every point of his life after that. You were his best friend.

And now here he is, in his dream university, with his best friend, on the best ice hockey team in Seoul, but unfortunately, not the best love life.

"Dude, I really need a girlfriend."

Jeno and Mark both groan at the complaint Donghyuck sighs out the umpteenth time that day, he's been starting at it from the beginning of the week.

But how could he possibly not complain? With most of his teammates and friends slowly getting love lives and significant others, he's so sick of being alone.

Jeno and Mark think differently. How could he be so blind? The person for him is clearly right in front of him. They can't believe he could be a business major, but be so dumb at the same time.

The eldest chucks his sweaty t-shirt he wore to the gym at Donghyuck, shuffling to sit on Jeno's bed, "What about Y/n? Isn't she a good candidate?"

Your best friend scrunches his nose up, tossing the sweaty shirt into the laundry basket skillfully, as he thinks about you. He shakes his head, "No, she's my best friend, we've got nothing like that!"

A hum comes from Jeno as he turns around on his gaming chair, a stern look filling his expressions. He tugs his headphones down, "Are you sure about that?"

Donghyuck scoffs, his gaze switching from one of his friends to the other, a frown growing on his lips, "Yeah."

"Sooo the daily cuddle sessions are just friendly?"

At the mention of something Donghyuck thought nobody knew about, he shuffles in his seat on his bed, gaze flying anywhere but his two friends, "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

He knows exactly what Jeno's talking about. The time between 4pm and 8pm when one of you would come over to the other's dorms for a quick catch up of the day. A week’s too long for the both of you. Plus, it's affectionate hour for him at these times, so he has to be hugging you.

"Didn't you two agree to have your first kiss together in 9th grade-"

"SO WHEN'S THE NEXT EPISODE OF THAT DRAMA YOU'RE WATCHING ON TEN'S ACCOUNT COMING OUT?"

It's pretty obvious Donghyuck has a thing for you.

It’s not like you have it any better, your thing for him was even worse than him.

It was obvious to all your friends, and his, that you were inevitably in love with Donghyuck. Sometimes you regret talking to him on that day, maybe if you didn’t you would have a chance with him, and not stay as his best friend. You would rather be called a friend than best friend. (a big lie)

You don’t remember when you fell, but you’re pretty sure it was when he kissed your cheeks passionately at the news of both of you being accepted to the same university. Or it could be way before that, it doesn’t matter now though. What matters is the fact that you’re literally best friend zoned, which is harsher than anything else.

Sometimes you wonder if he has even the slightest feelings for you, because the hugs, the forehead kisses, the fact that he would drop anything to help you can’t all be platonic, right? If it was, then imagine dating him.

You can’t help but wish that he does have these feelings, but you don’t want your hopes to be too high at the same time. Darn you and your crush on your best friend, now you’ll feel so confused.

Sighing a deep breath, you push yourself off your bed, groaning when you feel a slight headache stinging your mind. You really shouldn’t have stayed up just to watch old Barbie movies. You should’ve at least taken someone down with you, and not suffer alone.

You glance at your bedside table clock, feeling groggy at the sight ‘15:32’. You took a nap for an hour only, when you expected at least 5. Groaning when you completely sit up, you rub your temples in an attempt to soothe the migraine. Alas, it does not help.

There’s a notification that pops from your phone, it brightens the dark room and causes you to squint your eyes at it. You pick your phone up, and you can’t lie, your heart rate picks up slightly and a small smile crawls on your face when Donghyuck’s name is displayed.

You quickly open the notification, moving away and hissing when the bright light practically blinds your eyes.

Dongkeh: Hey

You: What

Dongkeh: Practice is done, come over

You: no ❤️

Dongkeh: It’s your fault you stayed up watching barbie movies 🙄 now come over you promised you would

You ponder for a second, as much as you have a huge crush on Donghyuck, you would much rather stay home and try to get rid of your headache.

Dongkeh: Lele said we could borrow daegal for the night

You might go.

You’re definitely going.

You love that dog to death, she was like a daughter you never had, not that you have any children though. God knows how many times you and Donghyuck have borrowed her for the night.

You: you son of a bitch bribing me with that dog im coming over >:(

You slam open Donghyuck’s dorm door, revealing him and his roommates chilling, your brows stitching together when you don’t see the white fluff ball running to you. “Where is she?” You ask dejectedly.

Jeno takes off his headphones quickly, beating Donghyuck in speaking as he points at him, “Donghyuck lied about Daegal coming just so you would!”

“Jeno you snitch!” Your best friend yells, chucking a pillow at him. The boy only laughs and smacks it away, before putting his headphones back on and swiveling around to resume his game.

A frown creases your lips down, and you throw Donghyuck a dirty look as you sit on Jeno’s bed. You pick up a random moomin plush on his bed and chuck it and Donghyuck.

“How else was I supposed to convince you to come?”

You only huff, taking off from Jeno’s bed and approaching Donghyuck’s study desk, which is weird because all he does on the desk is game. Opening his laptop and typing in the password, you trudge back to plop on your best friend’s bed, over his legs, and open yet another barbie movie, “I didn’t get to finish my marathon, you wanna finish it with me?”

Donghyuck shifts and pulls his legs from under your stomach, also flopping on his own as well. He settles down next to you, and you don’t even need to hear his answer, it’s always bound to be yes.

Mark watches you two on his bed, smiling to himself when he notices Donghyuck shift closer and point out how the website you use is good and doesn’t have any pop up porn ads. It’s clear that your best friend likes you, you can see it in his wide, attentive smile, the way they sparkle when they’re set on you, but it’s such a shame you can’t see it.

It only takes you half an hour to start to doze off, just after Mark and Jeno left to buy some take-out after finding out you didn’t have lunch and breakfast.

You think it’s because of the way you softly play with Donghyuck’s fingers and draw different patterns and lines all along his palm. It’s just too mesmerizing, and his skin is so soft and the perfect shade of golden.

It’s not like Donghyuck doesn’t notice either. He recognizes the pattern, how could he not? The way you would first draw big and soothing circles all around his palm, and then a spiral, before you would graze the outline of his hand, that was his favorite part. It was the most soothing thing he’s felt all week.

There was a minute where you traced all along his hand, as if drawing the anatomy of his hand, as you mumbled the parts of the hand that you learned in seventh grade. He laughed the second you murmured something about forgetting which one a certain part was.

He soon notices that you slow down, your fingers dragging a bit lighter, featherlight, and turns to see your head laid on his bed. Your lips are partially open, drawing in soft breaths, breaths that Donghyuck can feel lightly on some parts of his hand. He smiles at the sight of you finally resting, god knows how long you’ve been yelling at barbie to turn around and see the villain at midnight.

This time, your fingers stop their work on his palm, instead just sprawling lazily around it. He doesn’t want to move, your hand feels oddly in place in his.

Your hair falls and curtains your face away from Donghyuck, and like pure human instinct, he reaches out, brushing the few strands away, and tucking it behind your ear. As weird as it feels to him, it feels perfect as he grazes his middle and index finger along your cheek and jaw.

Suddenly, when Donghyuck’s eyes scan your face, you’re so incredibly beautiful, even just sleeping, your peaceful presence and expressions brings him so many feelings. His heart suddenly beats so much faster, jumping up and down and running all over his body, the blood in him rushing so much faster. The blood rushes straight to his cheeks and ears when his eyes land on your lips, slightly puffed from sleeping, and a bit chapped, but it’s alright, he knows his are way worse.

Donghyuck suddenly imagines himself leaning down, closer than just a friend would, and gently brushing his lips against yours. He thinks it would feel amazing, pressing his lips against yours, sighing between them, crawling closer to—

Your best friend doesn’t realize he’s been inching closer to your face, he doesn’t remember anything but his imagination. He only remembers when you shift onto your other side, fingers now softly interlocked with his.

Donghyuck flushes, at his thoughts, his actions, your actions, you.

He can’t wipe the smile from his face though, or the sudden redness of his cheeks. Donghyuck bites his inner cheek, and glances at your interlocked fingers sitting by your waist.

His eyes trail themselves all the way back to your face, where you inhale softly and sigh out a blissful breath. You look so raw, it’s beautiful, he wants to absorb and imprint every second into his memories, Donghyuck wants to cherish it and smile at it every time he thinks back on it.

And there it is again, he wants to do nothing, but softly kiss you. The moment is almost perfect, nobody around, but you and him, the atmosphere is soft, if only you were awake and looking into his brown, bright eyes that say nothing, but you.

Donghyuck reaches up nonetheless, carefully placing his hand on your cheek, and his urge to keep you in his heart forever is even more urging, as he slowly leans down.

Is this even right? Will he regret this? What if you don’t like it?

Thoughts rush through his head, the worried angel on his right shoulder profusely doubting and thinking rationally, but he can’t really hear it, he hears only his feelings, he lets his heart guid him, and it’s telling him this is the right thing.

He is so close, so incredibly close to closing the gap and sealing your lips with his, his eyes are already closing, his mind ready to imprint everything about you in his mind.

Just as he feels your breath tickle his lips, he shuts his eyes and—

“HAECHAN, Y/N! WE’RE BACK WITH THE TAKEOUT!”

In an instant, Donghyuck swears under his breath and throws himself off the bed. He completely forgets your tangled hands, he doesn’t even remember tightening them together, but he drags you down with him onto the cold hardwood floor.

Groaning, you wake up and wonder why you’re so sore, and why you’re on top of your best friend. Donghyuck himself carefully releases his hand from yours, bringing them behind his head to rub it in pain.

Footsteps resonate throughout the dorm, before all of Donghyuck’s teammates are rushing through the door, asking different questions all at once. There is only one, crystal clear question that rings through your ears. “What the fuck happened here?!” With such chaos he has to deal with everyday, Sicheng is pretty sure he knows how everyone can hear him.

“Sorry,” Donghyuck coughs out breathlessly, “I got excited about the food.”

Jeno snorts at the answer, leaning on the door frame, “Shouldn’t it be Y/n? She hasn’t even eaten breakfast,”

Ten yelps, reaching out to pull you up to your feet, “Oh my gosh, why didn’t you say so earlier? Come on Y/n staying up and starving yourself is practically torture!”

Soon, everyone leaves for the living room, except for the people who sleep in that room, as the two friends eye Donghyuck suspiciously when he slaps his cheeks and grow even more red at literally nothing.

Nothing as in whatever just happened before his teammates barged in and stopped whatever was going through him.

“What happened?”

“NOTHING! It was nothing, I swear!”

Only, it wasn’t nothing, it was everything that could’ve ruined a friendship, made things so much more awkward and uncomfortable.

But it was everything he wanted with you.

Now Donghyuck thinks he’s really doomed, like doomed to death. He wanted to kiss you. On the lips. Not platonically.

He thinks this as he gears up for practice the next day, aggressively putting his helmet on, groaning when it doesn’t go right in. He tries again, and again, turning it in different ways but it just won’t slip right in.

“Haechan what the fuck?”

The said boy yells out in shock, whipping around and chucking the helmet in his hands to the voice.

It’s just Jeno, and Mark, eyeing him with the same look as yesterday, squinting their eyes at his action. Donghyuck sighs out, ruffling his hair with his gloved hands, “Don’t do that! You scared the shit out of me,”

Jeno huffs out a laugh, slipping on the helmet Donghyuck chucked at him before, “I thought you never got scared. This is my helmet, by the way.” Donghyuck sighs, grabbing the other helmet on the bench.

The three had come to practice late, because of a math pop quiz they had to take the past hour. Donghyuck is pretty sure he failed, he couldn’t focus on anything but yesterday’s events. Your pretty sleeping face didn’t seem to want to leave him, almost like it was really imprinted in his mind like he wanted.

He doesn’t really want it right now.

“Okay man, what’s going on?”

Donghyuck turns to Mark, who sits next to him on the bench even though he didn’t realize he took a seat on. Mark nudges the younger with his shoulder, “Where’s Haechan? The guy we need right now? We’re getting close to our first game in a while, we can’t get distracted.”

Guilt floods Donghyuck, they haven’t had a game in a while, for their team has been practicing for the next tournament coming up next week for at least months now. It would kill him if he were to ruin it for the team just because of his own personal problems.

Donghyuck sighs, tapping his finger on his helmet rapidly. Jeno sits on Donghyuck’s other side, waiting with anticipation of what he’s going to say. He thinks it’s got a connection to yesterday when the team found you two on the floor.

Oh my god, Jeno’s eyes widen. Were you two making out?

Donghyuck sighs, scratching the back of his head, before pursing his lips and glancing at his two roommates. “I uh, I think I like Y/n...?”

It’s silent for a few moments at first, it scares Donghyuck, are his friends gonna hate it too? His heart sinks to his stomach at the thought of it being bad, at the thought of even his friends disapproving it. What if—

“Oh my fucking god.” Jeno runs a hand down his face, “I thought you guys made out in the room yesterday,”

Donghyuck can’t help but flush at the idea of actually kissing you, and you kissing back, but... passionately. He shoves his teammate away with no words, the practical steam emitting from his red cheeks and ears explaining everything.

Mark chuckles, grasping at the younger’s shoulder to stop him, “Donghyuck, you’re like the last person on earth to realize.”

“What?! No I’m not!”

A small chuckle leaves Mark’s lips, and he stands up with a proud smile, “You should tell her,”

Standing up and joining his teammate, a loud sound of confusion leaves his lips. “No way! That would ruin us!”

Jeno shakes his head at the classic excuse, patting Donghyuck’s shoulder, before taking off to exit the changing room and onto the ice.

“Even with me just realizing, it’s still gonna be awkward! Eww oh my god what if I become awkward around her? Hyung help! I can’t get awkward around her, that’s weird!”

Mark and Jeno give each other tired glances when Donghyuck keeps rambling about how awkward he’s gonna be around you, rolling their eyes when he starts to exaggerate and mumble impossible scenarios. Why can’t he see that you like him?

They should know what kind of stupid plan Donghyuck makes up when he's panicking or in trouble, but this really didn't come to mind. They want to literally knock the sense into him with a harsh punch to the face.

Apparently, wanting to knock some sense into him with a punch is not a possibility he thought of when he put his plan to action. What was he even expecting?

“Ow- what was that for??”

“FOR BEING STUPID!”

Donghyuck gapes at Jeno’s shameless and unexpected answer, yelping when the boy throws a hockey puck at him.

His idea is indeed very stupid, it’s so incredibly dumb.

How did he think his roommates would react anyway? How would he react if one of them barged in and (proudly) announced that he managed to score a goddamn date?

He wouldn’t feel bad for them, why are they treating him like this?

“Because you’re literally in love with Y/n?? It’s untruthful when you go on a date with a girl, when you like another. And it’s a dick move to both girls.” Donghyuck’s never heard this tone from Mark, he’s serious, and he sounds... so done with his shit? Yeah, that’s the term.

He plops on his bed, bringing out his phone, and starts to scroll through what seems like twitter, ignoring the glares from his roommates.

For the umpteenth time after they’ve met the boy, they both sigh and turn back to their own things before, pinning the conversation in their mind to bring it up later when everything goes shit. At this point he’s dead meat.

You hop off your bicycle, tightening your backpack straps, before trudging into the diner you’ve grown to love after years of eating and memories. You remember when you first met Mark and Jeno, it was right at the booth you settled in, you were a nervous wreck. Soon after the awkwardness subsided you spent the whole day munching on oily fries and slurping multiple refills of soda.

Smiling to yourself, you laugh at the memories you reminisce on.

You sigh and pull your laptop out of your bag, placing it on the old, beat up (but still very strong, to your surprise) plastic table you’ve seen just so many times. A very familiar waiter comes your way with a pen and pad, his lightly scratched, yet still shiny name tag hangs lightly on the fabric of his uniform, Na Jaemin, it read.

Jaemin was the whole reason you found this small diner, he invited Jeno to eat when he got his job last year. The job was temporary, of course, to help with college tuition, but he couldn’t say wasn’t attached to it.

The waiter approaches you, but winks and smiles knowingly when you open your mouth to say the same thing every time.

He takes a few steps back, flapping his pad in his hand, “The usual, coming right up!” Jaemin chuckles at your gaping mouth that you leave open, starting to walk off and wave goodbye. He suddenly stops just after 2 steps, turning around and glancing out the window behind you. “Where’s Hyuck?”

You furrow your eyebrows at that too, racking your brain for answers. You come to a conclusion, that you have no idea either. He doesn’t have any ice hockey practice, you know his schedule.

Humming, you whip out your phone, “I actually don’t know, let me ask.”

Jaemin lets out a small “Aight, I’ll get his usual to,” before yelling out your usual to one of the chefs. You’re so used to hearing such actions, as if they were the birds chirping in the morning.

After getting no reply from Donghyuck, you decide to ask your friend, Ryujin from math class, thinking maybe he was finally finishing his math group assignment.

You: Hey Ryujin! Are you there?

Ryujin!! : Oh hi Y/n! What’s up?

You: Is Donghyuck with you? He told me recently he wanted to get that group assessment done and I thought he might be with you

Ryujin!! : Oh? He’s not here though :(

You sigh out, brows raising in suspicion at the girl’s words. Donghyuck said he really wanted to get it over with and focus on hockey practice.

Your phone lights up with yet another message from Ryujin.

Ryujin!! : If you do find him, tell him to come straight to me, i'm sick of his group thing too >:(

A chuckle falls from your lips, as you type back a response of ‘sure thing, whack him with the math book or something’. You lock your phone with a frown, that’s weird, Donghyuck would usually tell you his whereabouts. ‘Just in case you miss him too much’ as he claimed, but he hasn’t even texted you since yesterday. Come to think of it, you haven’t even seen him today.

In the midst of your wondering and worrying, your phone vibrates in your hand again, and you turn it to find out it’s Ryujin who’s texted you yet once again.

Ryujin!! : I found out where he is!!

You light up at the news, your fingers running as fast as they could, as you write a reply.

You: Oh really? What he’s doing?

There’s a strange pause, you find it even stranger how you call it strange, the bubbles with 3 dots loading on your screen. You frown thinking it’s the connection and signal here, but just as you start to raise it the air, Ryuijin’s message has loaded.

Ryujin!! : Uh

Ryujin!! : Yeji says he’s on a date with a girl from econ...

You expected the message to do anything but hurt you, but here your heart is, suddenly sinking all the way to your feet. Along with your heart, goes your lips, downwards and curled in a pained frown.

You really don’t know how to reply, you don’t know if you should, but you do anyway. You reply to Ryujin after a solid minute of processing and having a sick sensation to your stomach.

You: Hey that’s great! Now he wouldn’t be so lonely haha

Ryujin!! : Y/n, I know you like him

You don’t answer.

That’s kind of your fault when you accidentally spilled the beans while you tipsy at one of their parties a few months ago.

You actually wanted to make it obvious, you wanted to let your feelings show, perhaps in hopes that your best friend would notice and finally realize that all he’s been searching for is right in front of him. Either he’s blind and can’t see the signs, or uninterested and on a date to find someone else.

You really hope he’s just blind.

Jaemin later comes back with your food, and what is supposed to be Donghyuck’s, and instantly notices the lively look in your eyes gone, vanished just like that. He thinks he knows what’s happening, he eyes you as he places the plastic trays down. You don’t enthusiastically take it and thank him lots, like you usually do, so something is definitely wrong.

Jaemin stays on his spot in front of your booth, crossing his arms and waiting in anticipation for something. You seem to take it the complete other way, chuckling as you gesture to the foods on the table, “You can have some if you want,”

“Jesus Y/n, don’t think so lowly of me.” The waiter sighs out a breathy laugh, pushing the tray of fries on the table back to you. His eyes turn serious, you notice, and you lean back down in your seat with wide eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“What? Literally nothing, Jaemin,”

Jaemin narrows his eyes, and slides next to you with the cheesy nachos Donghyuck would usually eat. “It’s him, isn’t it? Donghyuck?”

You let out a breathy laugh, nodding. “He’s on a date right now.” It kind of hurts to say such words, it’s like saying he doesn’t want you, he doesn’t like you.

Jaemin hisses, reaching over to pat your shoulder, “I’m sorry,”

“What for? I don’t care if he-“

“Y/n it’s pretty obvious you’re in love with him.”

You huff, throwing a fry in your mouth, “Damn, is it?”

Jaemin simply smiles sympathetically, ruffling your head as he sneakily grabs a few nachos. “It’s alright, he’ll realize his own feelings soon. I know it.” And then he walks off, back to his job.

Your eyes trail from your friend, to the nachos he gave you, and your mind drifts off to Donghyuck. How could he possibly realize his feelings, if he’s on a date? He’s not gonna realize anytime soon, because he has no feelings for you.

You feel your emotions mix, you don’t like it, it feels bad. It feels wrong. It’s his decision who he wants, so you shouldn’t feel bad if he doesn’t choose you, you’re his best friend, you should feel happy for him if he found the one.

Unbeknownst to you, Donghyuck feels like a bitch. The only thing in his mind as he walks into the cafe with his date is you, and Mark’s words.

Maybe he was right— no, Mark is always right. Most of the time. But he’s right about this date, it’s wrong since he doesn’t want to go with his date, he wants to be in the diner he knows you’re in right now, eating a bunch of those cheesy nachos and annoying you as you try to work. You never do in the end anyway.

The girl he’s on a date with surprisingly said yes to his idea, but Donghyuck thinks it’s just because she hasn’t been on one for quite some time. He thinks this as he takes a seat on one of the tables of the cafe, thanking the waiter when he passes them the menus.

It seems like his date has already been here, a couple of times even, because she simply puts the menu down and eyes Donghyuck as he scans the menu. He can feel her stare on him, and he lowers his head bashfully to hide his face.

His date laughs at the small shy action, tearing her faze away from him. “So Donghyuck,” She suddenly says.

The other only pops his head back up to hum a reply, setting his menu down. She has a small playful glint in her eyes, or was it just mischief? “You’ve never been here, have you?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, glancing at the menu full of different foods and drinks he’s not that used to seeing, “No, I usually go to the diner next to the Library, they have bomb nachos. Are the nachos here good?”

His date knows that diner, it’s not that busy, and she’s seen the cute waiter pretend he was in a concert as he mopped the place. He was really cute. “Aaah, I know that place! Y/n’s mentioned it before. Also, the nachos here are good, but I don’t know if they’re as good as your diner’s,”

Donghyuck’s whole body stops at the mention of your name, his cheeks heating for two reasons. One, he has a massive crush on you, one he doesn’t know is that big, and two, he feels embarrassed that his date knows you, and could very much tell you where he was. He purposely didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t know.

Donghyuck tries to ignore the fact that his date knows you, trying to smile playfully, “We’ll see about those nachos,”

For the next 30 minutes, Donghyuck actually enjoys his time on his date. They talk about everything, from how boring and devastating their econ teacher was, to mentioning the cute waiter from the diner he goes to. Donghyuck finds out about her small crush she had when she first saw him vibing by himself in the lonely diner. They share their basic interests and dislikes, nothing too deep for a first date.

Donghyuck feels guilty though, he’s interested in someone else, but is here with someone he barely knows. He constantly wonders where you are, and without realizing, he talks about you. A lot. His date doesn’t mind though, she’s very aware of his crush on you, and came on this date to see how many times he could bring you up in a conversation. She never expected this much.

Just as Donghyuck finishes his story, the fries come, and pretty late at that. The waitress smiles apologetically at them, biting her lip guiltily, “We’re terribly sorry the fries are so late, a lot of people order it, and we only have 2 fryers.”

The two shake their heads, mumbling how it was completely understandable. The waitress bows one last time, before going back to the kitchen to get other dishes to serve.

Donghyuck laughs and picks a fry up, before dunking it in his milkshake and munching on it. He is unaware of the disgusted expression on his date’s face, doing the same thing again. “See, this is why the lonely diner is better.”

“I’m sorry, did you just put your fry in your milkshake, and eat it?”

Donghyuck takes a sip from the sweet drink, nodding as if it was the most natural thing in the world, “Yeah, do you not?”

“No?? It’s gross!”

“What?! You have to try it.”

His date declines with a dissatisfied smile on her face, instead eating the fry with ketchup. Donghyuck scoffs, dunking another fry in his milkshake. “You know, I didn’t like it at first.” This catches his date’s attention. “But soon I did it because Y/n told me to. Lo and behold, I became addicted.”

The girl in front of him smiles at yet another mention of you, that’s like the 20th time throughout the whole date. She swirls her straw in her strawberry milkshake, thinking back to all the times Donghyuck has talked about you. All with bright smiles and adoring eyes.

“You know, I actually didn’t want to come on this date because of Y/n.” Donghyuck grows surprised, did you not let her? Did you say something that stopped her from going out with him? Though there’s a small feeling of disappointment in him, he also can’t help but want them to be true. He wants you to stop someone from going out with him, he wants you to say that only you can.

“Not that she stopped me, no, she doesn’t know about this.” Donghyuck’s hope fades away, and disappointment fills his body. He tries not to show it, but it kind of does.

The girl in front of him sighs, letting the straw go, “Look Donghyuck, I know you really like her. Did you know you’ve brought her up like 20 times throughout the whole date?”

Donghyuck is very taken aback, is he really the last person on earth to realize his feelings?

His date laughs at shocked face, “Anyone with eyes who sees you talk to her—talk about her can see it. She means a lot to you, and believe it or not, you mean so much to her too.”

A feeling captures Donghyuck’s heart, was is shock? Surprise? He’s not so sure, but it was realization. Why is he on this date, trying to get rid of his feelings, when he could simply just wait for you, let you keep his heart? Who cares if it gets awkward, it’s better than burying his feelings and not even asking for a chance at all.

“At first I came on this date to knock some sense into you, talk about how Y/n really, and I mean really, likes you. But I guess I got carried away with everything. I see why she likes you, and I see how much you like her.”

Donghyuck doesn’t feel sad or any negativity when his date says she didn’t want to come on this date, he feels... he feels relieved. And that’s it. That’s all it takes for Donghyuck to clear up on his feelings.

He faces the girl in front of him after staring at his milkshake for minutes, with wide eyes, they look so clear now to her, she knows what he’s about to do.

“I think...” Donghyuck pauses. Just a few seconds later he’s grabbing his coat, and standing up, “I think this was a mistake. N-not that I didn’t have a good time, I-“

“The feeling is mutual, Haechan,” his date giggles, standing up as well. She calls out for the bill, before turning to Donghyuck and gesturing him off. “Go get her!”

A rush of gratitude washes over his body, as he smiles brightly and waves goodbye. He rushes out the door with new emotions, he feels like everything is clearer than before, and all he wants to do is go to you, confess, heck, kiss you! Never in his life has he been so determined to get what he wants.

You don’t see each other for the next 5 days, Donghyuck was busy at ice hockey practices and simply wanted to do great for the season. The team’s been working so hard for the first game, which is today.

You wonder why Donghyuck hasn’t been calling or asking to hang out lately, like he would usually do. Sure, he’s got a tournament, but even last tournament he would hang out with you just as much time as a normal day, and the team won second place in the tournament.

Maybe it was because they haven’t had a game in a long time, and they want to be extra ready to win this year.

You walk into the cold ice rink with painted cheeks and the bucket hat you made with Sungchan before he even got into the team. He was a big fan and looked up to Donghyuck, now here he is, gearing up with the people who he admired. You are so proud of that kid.

Taking a seat at the promised area Donghyuck told you to sit in, you shove your cold hands into your coat pockets, trying to warm up with the slight cold nipping at your skin. You’re glad the stadium is starting to fill, then you would feel warmer with people around you.

You glance at your phone seeing the funny texts your friends leave. They’re all screaming about being late because Ryujin told them the game was at 5:30, not 4:30.

You snicker at all the chaos that they update you on, unaware of your best friend poking his head out of the changing room, head whipping around to try and find you.

His whole body lights up when he finally sees you, in your gators bucket hat and decorations on your cheeks, it gives him so much energy just looking at it. He couldn’t clearly make the writings out with your head bowed down as you texted your friends, but now with it up, he sees his number on your face, feeling giddy.

Yangyang sticks his head out as well, gasping at the many people, and the lots of people wearing green for the gators. “Woaahh! We have so many supporters!!”

Soon, the whole team is glancing outside, gaping at all the people rooting for them, but Donghyuck can only focus on you, your smile when someone points out your small decorations, the decorations itself, especially, the bright red ‘66’ painted in your right cheek.

There it is again. The urge to kiss you. He wants to drop all his shit, skate up to you even only half geared up, and kiss you senseless. Maybe be witty and use the ‘warming up, it’s cold’ excuse.

He doesn’t care about the people watching, heck, even the game. All he wants to do is show you his gratitude, his love for doing so special for him and his team, he wants to pepper kisses all over your beautifully painted cheeks.

A sudden, painful slap is surging and pulsing throughout Donghyuck’s shoulder, and he turns around to see Sicheng, a playful smirk on his face. “No time to simp, Haechan! Get ready and stretch, we’re out in a few.”

The player grumbles and blushes at the sudden call out, shoving his captain away in embarrassment when the whole team starts to tease him.

Before they even process it, they’re exiting the changing room, feeling nervous and ecstatic when there is cheering and yelling from the crowd. The team feels so overwhelmed at the amount of people in the crowd tonight, it’s never been so filled before. Not since Park Jisung’s figure skating performance.

The opponents are yet to come out from their changing room, but the team understands why, they’re in no place to complain when they’ve done the same thing over and over.

In the meantime, the team takes their seats on the benches, smiling and waving to their friends and family who came out to watch them. Donghyuck’s eyes trail back to your seat, smiling widely when he sees you trying to get his attention by waving violently. He throws his arms up and waves back just as enthusiastically.

Next to you is Jaemin, all with his puffy coat, large beanie and such, Donghyuck guesses he’s sensitive to the cold. Jaemin yells and whoops the loudest among the crowd, clapping his hands like a dad in the middle of watching an F1 race.

Soon, the other team comes out, radiating enthusiasm and bright smiles. the second the crowd notices them they grow crazier, so many loud noises layering the other, it’s so loud, and even you can’t believe how excited everyone is.

The team spreads out throughout the ice their stance instantly ready and defensive, ready to play. Though they're nervous, you know they are, butt they still seem so intimidating and ready.

The crown grows in anticipation as the referee has a quick talk with the captains, gripping into heir seats for the game to start.

The moment it does, so much action had already taken place you don't even know where the puck is. The tiny black dot is flying all across the ice, it sucks to not know who has the puck when you blink the second it starts.

You flap your arms at Jaemin, whipping your head around, "WHERE IS IT I BLINKED!"

Jaemin doesn't mind your funny obliviousness, grabbing you by the shoulders to lead you close to him for some sight. Half of his arm covers nearly all of your sight as he points at a player from the other team, "THERE! HE'S GOT IS RIGHT THERE!"

Soon, with lots of squinting and shoving Jaemin away, you spot the player he pointed at with the puck, sliding it skillfully on the ice and dribbling it down the rink. You start to yell and frantically point to the player, but alas, the gators are oblivious to your callouts, but they do still chase the player.

The opponent gets dangerously close to the goal Yangyang keeps, slowing down drastically to get ready to shoot. It has you on the edge of your seat, yelling, before a swarming feeling of relief fills you when the puck is taken from him by Ten. That sneaky little bitch.

He skates almost recklessly around the ice, dodging and shoving away each opponent in front of him. A bit harshly too. You can hear his voice in your head explaining how it was purely from the spur and excitement of the moment.

It's all too cool, physically too. It's freezing, and yet these boys are able to skate through the ice so smoothly and naturally, you like to call them polar bears sometimes. Of course, they only replied how they were loyal only to the gators.

You can barely process it, and before you know it, Ten had hit the puck right into the goal, before he skates back with his arms thrown in the air. Already so quick and they're making a goal, they truly are talented players.

It goes on like this for some time, a certain player taking the puck (and spotlight) as they manage to make it into the goal. It always entertaining, no matter what, especially when someone steals the puck. It's too smooth for you to constantly catch up with, but you are screaming every 5 seconds nonetheless.

You cheered the loudest when player 66 swiftly made a goal, as per usual.

You never seem to rest in games like these, heck, with it being tournament? It's got you more invested than anything in the world.

And at last, it comes down to this, the final goal. It's currently a tie, something Jaemin curses about as he pulls out his binoculars to look at the players and analyze how the game is going so far.

The man is crazy, what else is there to expect from him?

Just as you're about to comment yet once again about his large binoculars, he yells and points to the ice. "WINWIN! WINWIN'S GOT IT!"

Your head instantly snaps back to the game, only just a few seconds left. You dread over the last 30 seconds flashing by the timer, the mixed feelings in you mixing and churning almost nervously as Sicheng expertly slides through the ice.

Almost too easily, he dribbles the puck to follow him as he dodges the last opponent, and as fast as light, quickly shoots the puck into the goal.

It shoots straight in, bouncing against the net, before falling the the ground, The whole stadium is screaming, well, most of it. The other team's supporters are yelling out curses and expressing their disappointment, but that's the least of your worries.

The Gators throw their arms up in excitement, skating over to their captain and gathering into a big mess of a group hug. You can practically hear Sicheng's voice in your head as he pleads for Ten not to kiss his cheek.

The boys pull away, just to skate around the ice and wave to the crowd. First place Donghyuck goes is to your side, as expected, eyes trailing to find yours. He waves and smiles at all the people cheering him on, and lights up completely when he sees you jumping up and down with Jaemin. A soft feeling sweeps him as you seem in your happiest moment, with your beautiful smile he loves oh so much.

Donghyuck literally almost attempts to climb over the Plexiglass, but is halted when Yangyang skater over to him and slaps his ass playfully to remind him to greet the other team and than them.

"Still no time to simp, Haechan."

The said boy huffs in embarrassment and shoves his teammate away. He glances back at you one last time, and grins when you and Jaemin playfully blow him an air kiss.

Donghyuck knows you won’t be there to hug him right after the game, you’ve made a silent and mutual agreement 2 years ago that you would wait outside, you don’t want to disturb their pep talk with their coach, and you definitely don’t want to hug a sweaty Donghyuck.

And so right after their talk with their coach, and the quick showers, Donghyuck is running out the changing room with semi-dried hair, a duffle bag full of his sweaty clothes, and a bright grin adorning his face.

His teammates yell out teasingly, but he doesn’t mind them, he’s throwing them a quick middle finger at them, before busting the doors of the rink open.

Donghyuck whips his head back and forth, side to side, trying to catch you as fast as possible. You don’t even know, but just your presence gave him so much energy and motivation, not to mention the decorations, he wanted to win so badly.

“Hyuck!”

Time seems to stop when your best friend turns to his left, the sight of you, equally bright eyes and smile as his, slightly smudged and faded paint on your face, you look oddly perfect.

And for the third time, he wishes to run up and kiss you. For so many reasons. For encouraging him when you were teenagers, for willing to paint your face just for a game, for actually coming. It feels surreal.

His urge to steal a kiss is getting worse when you start to run up to him, he doesn’t think he can handle it, Donghyuck is about to fucking kiss you. He wants to so badly, and he might just, just a few more meters until your lips can meet his.

When you jump into his arms, he almost can’t control himself. Almost.

Instead, he catches you in a warm bear hug, engulfing you flush against him. It feels great, just affectionately squeezing each other to your chests.

“You did it!” You whisper into his shoulder, rocking you both side to side. Donghyuck smiles and shut his eyes tight, savoring the moment, “I did,”

You push him away excitedly, shoving at his side, “You guys won!” Though pained at the sudden punch to his stomach, your best friend smiles and laughs at you, as you jump and run around, yelling in delight.

You look so precious, jumping and clapping, so natural. This is a moment Donghyuck would kill to keep forever, cherished and loved, and the familiar feeling comes back.

He knows the feeling, he’s felt it all too much around you, but he doesn’t mind. Heck, it might just give him the courage to kiss you.

Donghyuck’s sure this is the moment, the perfect opportunity, he’s reaching out again, his right hand clasping the back of your neck, pulling you back close to him. His left hand cradles your cheek when you’re close, and he leans in, eyes set on your lips for a second, before he shuts them and his lips find their way to your cheek. Your cheek with his faded number on it. His lips feels warm on your cheek, you can feel how soft they softly press against your cheek, you want to turn your head and catch them with your own.

It happens suddenly, Donghyuck doesn’t know why—or how he even backed out. He was so sure this would be it. You gasp right next to his ear, it tickles him, before he quickly backs away.

Hand flying to cover your warm cheek, you beam your surprised eyes to Donghyuck, a smile itching to grow on your face. He freezes as well, gaping at his actions, at your’s, at the whole situation, really.

“I-“

“YOOO! PARTY AT SICHENG’S LET’S GOOO!” Yangyang and Ten’s excited voices beam out, breaking your moment, jumping and swinging Sicheng’s car keys, to which he yells to be careful with because it’s apparently the car he shares with Kun.

Everyone gathers around the car, but you and Donghyuck, simply too shocked to process the whole thing. Sungchan seemed to notice your lack of presence, turning around to find you. “Hyung! Noona! Are you guys not coming?”

Instantly, it’s like the two if you melt from the sudden time freeze around you, and Donghyuck quickly jogs up to them. His cheeks burn like fire, he feels so shy that he actually kissed your cheek. How could he be back out so quick? Halfway to the car, he whips back to you, still shocked and gaping with warm cheeks, before pointing at the car, “You wanna come with us? I’m pretty sure there’s still some space.”

Except, there wasn’t. You had to sit, squished up in the back seat next to Donghyuck and Sungchan, cheeks burning at being so close to your best friend. Your crush. Who just kissed your cheek.

”Hey Haechan,” Ten pipes up. The boy hums back mindless reply, staring at the small space in between your hands, just a swift move and it could be tangled with his. “That girl you hung out with a few days ago is coming. And she’s really cute. Could you maybe introduce her to me?”

Your face falls. Right, he went on a date.

That just really helps with your high hopes. The boys in the car don’t seem to realize the fact that it was a date, teasingly poking at Ten in the front seat.

“Uh, yeah, sure thing.” Great. Mentioning his date when his crush is in the car. So much for his confidence.

You suddenly don’t really want to go to the party, sighing and slumping in your seat. Donghyuck huffs at the space you created between your hands, squeezing at his knee.

This is going to be a long ride.

The moment you step into the party, there are people yelling out multiple ‘congratulations!’ and other stuff you can’t make out with the intense beats and loud music.

The team grins and thanks them nonetheless, already heading in and settling down with drinks and moves at the dance floor. You laugh at the sight of Ten dragging Sicheng into the dance circle, the awkward smile on the captain's face screaming out for help.

Donghyuck laughs along to the funny situation, you can feel his shoulder rumble and bump into yours. “Hey,” he whispers to you, “I’m gonna go get a drink, do you want anything?”

The room is dark, only a few beams of colorful light roaming around the room, and yet the sparkle in your best friend's eyes seems the lightest in the room, it’s mesmerizing and you never want to look away. “Sprite's okay,”

Your answer is barely above a whisper, you like to think it’s quiet because of the music in the background, but you know better. Donghyuck nods, sending you a small smile. He barely catches it, but he hears a small ‘thanks, hyuck,’ and it tugs tightly at his heartstrings.

He walks away, deep into the party, and before you know it, you’re alone. You suddenly grow flustered and embarrassed by how close you were to Donghyuck. Physically close. Hands on your face, you bite your lip to contain your smile, but the corners can’t lie when they curl upwards a little.

You slap your cheeks softly, reminding yourself that there is nothing there, he went on a date with someone else last week. He’s not interested.

In the midst of your reality check and reminders, you feel a sudden tap to your shoulder. Glancing to your left, you have to say you weren’t that shocked to see Huang Renjun.

Renjun was a very smart student, you know this, and he also has golden hands. Not physically, no, but artistically. He’s amazing at painting and drawing and all that art funk, and it amazes you. He expressed so many of his emotions just by painting a single stroke of his brush.

You’ve only met Renjun here and there, he was one of Jeno’s closest friends.

Renjun sends you a small smile, waving quite bashfully, “Hi Y/n,” you return the bashfulness, cheeks pulling up in a happy smile, “Renjun! Hey!”

He glances behind you, everywhere behind you, and grimaces once he’s stopped. “Have you seen Haechan? I wanted to congratulate him. And remind him of that art project he still hasn’t finished.”

You shake your head and chuckle, “That motherfucker told me he already finished it.”

“Let me guess, when he asked to hang out?”

You ponder over it for a second, smile widening when Renjun’s words were indeed true. “Did he do it to you too?”

The artist bellows a soft laugh, eyes sinking into pretty little moon crescents, before he shakes his head. “No, I think he would use it as an excuse to not hang out with me.”

That is a bit true, you remember when Yangyang became so disappointed when he caught Donghyuck in your dorm, tangled in your bed sheets as he took a nap. You, innocent and oblivious, simply told him he was going to accompany you as you work on an essay.

“But I cannot count how many times he’s procrastinated just to see you.”

Surprised, you whip your eyes wide open in surprise, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. You feel flustered at his words, and your reaction, and you snap out of your shocked daze. “I’m sure it’s not that many times.”

Your heart beats fast, you wish it desperately doesn’t, you don’t want your hopes up again.

“Really? I thought he had a crush on you or something.”

You flush yet once again, heart rate drastically picking up and cheeks heating up so fast you don’t even know when it happened. Shifting awkwardly, you let out a nervous hiss, “I... thought so too.”

Renjun lets out a small hum, as if to ask to explain. You cough an awkward laugh, feeling your heart sink at the thought of Donghyuck rejecting you.

“I thought so too. I really thought so too. His recent actions really fooled me. I thought... I thought that maybe all the hugs weren’t so platonic, I thought I wasn’t the only one who thought the way he held me longer than usual was his feelings. And he even gave me a kiss on the cheek earlier.” Your smile makes Renjun chuckle, of course, just a friendly laugh, no intentions to fool you.

And suddenly you seem to be brought down to earth, and not cloud 9 where you imagine and overthought small actions. “B-but I know they didn’t mean anything to him. He went on a date last week to find someone.”

Renjun’s smile instantly falls, and his lip is caught between his teeth in shock. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, looking down to his sneakers.

Attempting to light up and smile reassuringly, you shake your hands and head, but anyone could see through your bright eyes and smile. “N-no, it’s fine! It’s not like I like him...” You add a fake laugh at the end, a simple cough of a laugh, and you want to cringe at how fake it sounded.

“Y/n, it’s alright to admit your feelings. And I’m pretty sure Haechan was just on a date to get rid of his tooth rotting crush on you. Maybe he thinks the same things as you, but is just too scared to admit.” Renjun pats your shoulder reassuringly, his smile 10 times more comforting than his words. You feel grateful that he isn’t judging your situation.

Donghyuck, unsuspected of your deep talk with Renjun, stands a few feet away from you, 2 drinks in his hand. He’s excited to spend time with you for some reason, maybe it’s the party vibes, or the fact that he just won a game, or was it because he kissed your cheek? He doesn’t know, but he’s still excited nonetheless.

Donghyuck rushes through the crowd, his cup of coke and your cup of sprite ready in his hand. There are people who congratulate him, some only greeting, and most just moving out of his way to vibe to the music. Your best friend has a small, yet very excited smile on his face, never fading and waiting to widen when he sees you.

Funny, he does the complete opposite. Donghyuck freezes in his spot when he spots you speaking to Renjun, small, flustered smile and all. Feelings storm in his body, churning in his stomach, it has his heart sinking all the way to his feet, and a thick curtain of negativity (read: jealousy.) clouding his mind.

Why are you talking to Renjun? What are you talking about? Is he patting your shoulder? What for? How can you look so happy talking to someone that isn’t him?

All ridiculous thoughts, he would know, but he doesn’t really know with such a state of mind.

Renjun spots your best friend just a few meters behind you, frozen with a mixed expression. A mixed expression he recognizes as jealousy. He turns back to you, smiling, “Hey, Haechan’s right behind you. Tell him your feelings, Y/n. Really.”

You gape at your friend once again, but manage to slowly nod. “Maybe we can catch up some other time? Oh! I know this really cute moomin themed cafe-“

Hearing is a hard thing when you’re surprised and shocked, because all you can hear is your heartbeat as you feel a sudden grab to your forearm. Apparently, seeing is too, as all you see is Donghyuck’s familiar mop of hair covering your gaze, and his warm brown sweater is the only thing running through your mind as well.

“Mhm, yeah, sounds sooo interesting, Renjun.” Renjun is unable to stop the smug smirk growing on his face at Donghyuck’s scrunched eyebrows and glaring eyes, he knows exactly his feelings for you.

Donghyuck then turns around sharply, dragging you with him, growing more irritated when you mumble something about not saying a proper goodbye. “Bye! There, we said bye.”

You feel taken aback, and very hurt at Donghyuck’s sudden harsh attitude, what happened? Where was the bright, bubbly Hyuck that always wanted to participate in conversations and never wanted them to end?

“Donghyuck?” You call out for him as he simply pulls you with him through the crowd of people. Where did he put the drinks? He doesn’t really remember either. Growing frustrated, you tug your arm back lightly, “Hyuck,”

The boy doesn’t answer, instead encircling his fingers gently around your wrist. It’s softer than before, a lot softer, but his pace still stays fast and rushed.

Up the stairs, a few more steps, and a closed door, you finally get to stop moving, inside an unknown room. Donghyuck let’s your wrist go, letting you rest, but right as you are about to speak, he beats you to it with a quick voice.

“D-don’t talk to Renjun.”

His gaze is hard, and glaring daggers right at you, and they shoot straight to your heart. His voice however, wavered and unsure. He leaves you confused yet once again, frustration and confusion boils and bubbles in your stomach.

“What the hell, Donghyuck?!”

You’re the opposite of his state, your voice is so clear and set, spitting words and moving with such ease, but your gaze is shaking, filled with doubt and confusion, you wish they decided to glare right back at him, or pour beads of mixed feelings.

“Why can’t I just talk to another person? Just talk! Nothing happened. What, do you not want me to find my significant other?”

No, he wants to be your significant other. Why can’t you see that he stopped you because he wanted—wants to be your lover? He wants to tell you, show you. He wants to kiss you when he’s won a game, he wants to kiss you when you’ve won that big competition you've been rambling about for months, spend nights with you watching old barbie movies, and tuck you into bed when you fall asleep, and borrow Daegal for god knows how many nights.

But he’s scared someone will get to do it before him. Like Renjun. He’s good looking and good at painting and just so perfect, the art major could snatch you up anytime, and Donghyuck doesn’t want that.

“Please Donghyuck, say something! Why aren’t you-“

“Because I love you!”

This time, you don’t see each other for the next week.

It hurts, because he literally just admitted that he loved—loves you, but now he’s just ignoring you. You’re so confused, and tired, and just want to get rid of your high hopes that have grown even more after that night at the party.

He ran off right after he told you. You tried to run after him and catch him, but you were too late. That night, you couldn’t sleep, thinking of his words, and the next night you couldn’t sleep either. Along with the next night, and the next, and the next, until it hit a full week later.

At this point you wouldn’t be as attentive in class as you usually were, you would nap in between classes, during breaks, and most of the time be late to class. It sucked a lot. Damn Donghyuck and his cowardly self.

You almost manage to fully pass out on the table you chose to study on in the library, right on your physics book that made you even sleepier as you read it. However, a certain freshman sits next to you.

You open your eyes to see a blurry figure, their innocent smile shining, and hand waving over your face, “Hi,” their voice is hushed, as expected in the library, but it’s not a complete whisper, and you recognize the voice of Jung Sungchan.

You suck in a breath, rubbing at your tired eyes, before squinting them to see the boy clearly. He simply waits for you to process everything, for he knows what it’s like to suddenly wake up and not know where you are.

Once again, the younger sends you a friendly wave and a bright smile, mumbling a small ‘hey’ to which you smile and echo his words.

“What are you doing here?” Kind of a stupid question to ask, especially in a library, but you really are genuinely curious as to what his plans were here. Sungchan doesn’t seem to mind, pointing to the beanbag section behind him.

“I’m here with Shotaro, I’ve been busy with ice hockey practice and I have a free period right now, so we’re hanging out! I still gotta go this evening though, the second game is tomorrow.”

Right, the second game of the tournament is tomorrow. You wonder how Donghyuck is doing, was he perfectly fine and practicing well? He seems so unbothered by the night at the party, but unbeknownst to you, he really wants to apologize and just retry his confession. He didn’t expect it to be that sudden.

You seem to snap out of your sudden train of thoughts when Sungchan speaks up again, “The real question here is what are you doing here? I’ve noticed you’ve been more tired these days, you should really rest.” You’re always so amazed by how thoughtful Sungchan is, he’s always there to look out for anyone, some random classmate or friend, he’s always so caring to everyone.

You nod, giving Sungchan a grateful smile, before shutting your physics book, “Thank you, Sungchan. You always know how to make me feel better,”

Sungchan stays seated as you start to pack your bag and get ready to leave, gnawing on his lower lip nervously. 'Just ask her!' he thinks to himself.

Just as you wave goodbye to him and Shotaro in the corner, Sungchan springs up, wide, glossy eyes shocking you.

“W-wait!” Nodding, you stop in your tracks, waiting for Sungchan to continue.

“I know... that your situation with Haechan isn’t the best,”

Your eyes widen in shock, he knew about what happened? You wonder if Donghyuck told his friends about it, if he simply just told them bluntly or just out of regret. You hope it was regret, you’d accept it better than his telling them bluntly.

“But could you maybe come to the game tomorrow?” Sungchan looks so hopeful, eyes practically begging for you to say yes, and you want to with the way they seem to plead you.

You think about it for a second though, it would be pretty awkward if you met Donghyuck after the game. You wouldn’t know what to do or say. But then again, you do kind of want to slap him. Maybe.

You nod nonetheless, smiling at Sungchan’s suggestion, “Of course! For the team, even with my situation with Haechan,”

His nickname feels foreign to you, you realize it now when you’ve just said it. It feels like you don’t know your own best friend. You’re so used to hearing it, but it won’t roll off your tongue smoothly just yet.

Sungchan lights up, you can see it in his bright eyes, and widening smile, radiating so much relief that you feel happy. You give him one last smile, and a wave along to Shotaro in the corner, before turning around and walking out.

You don’t get to, because just a few steps forward a thought is tingling in your mind, and you want to fid the answer. Quickly turning around, you run up and grab Sungchan’s backpack to stop him from walking away. The boy turns back, alarmed, and blinks his big eyes in question.

You quickly retract your arm from holding him back, letting them flop to your sides instead. “How did you know about my situation with Donghyuck?” You almost say his nickname, but it would feel too weird, and so you use his real name.

You gnaw on your lip as you wait for Sungchan’s reply. The boy raises his head in thought, racking through his memories of how he found out. He smiles lightly when he remembers, lowering his head to look at you. “He wouldn’t get out of bed the next morning, and Jeno told us everything. He seems really upset at his actions.”

You are too. Does this mean he regrets it as in he actually doesn’t like you or he did it wrong? So many assumptions and thoughts cloud your mind, thinking of the worst and best scenarios to this case.

Sungchan opens his mouth at your clouded and mixed expressions, unsure of what to say, before he whips his head back behind him when Shotaro calls out for him. He faces back to you, scratching the back of his head awkwardly when you still seem to be in your thoughts. “S-so I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Your thoughts vanish into thin air at Sungchan’s hopeful voice, instantly nodding at him, “Yeah, of course!”

The boy nods and smiles brightly, before turning around and jogging up to his best friend.

You soon leave the library with the thoughts swirling in your mind yet once again, sticking and haunting your mind every second of the day until you get into bed.

You haven’t really processed what Donghyuck blurted out in the party, it’s like it just echos in your kind until it’s done feasting on it and just realizing what happened. Did he really love you? Love is a big word, it’s not the first choice of words you would expect to hear from your best friend and crush of who knows how long.

But yes, he really did love you. Does. He does love you. He loves you for helping him through all his worst days, for putting your priorities away just for him, for being the forever friend he needed. But as much as Donghyuck loves you, and longs for you, he doesn’t really want you to be there tomorrow, for so many reasons.

He knows he’ll feel so guilty, for just leaving you hanging there on a whole cliff with weight bringing you down called hope. But he also needs to apologize. He doesn’t quite have the best plan. Or courage. For all he knows he’ll probably help you up that cliff, and then pull a Scar like in The Lion King.

Donghyuck snorts to himself, thinking of how ridiculous it is to make a Disney movie reference in the middle of trying to sort out his emotions.

A sudden cheer of the crowd causes him to gasp and whip around.. You wouldn't be there, right? Not after what he's done, there's no way. It would eat himself alive if he had to play knowing you were there watching him. It's ironic, Donghyuck always found comfort in your presence, but now he doesn't want you watching him.

The curses in his head become very verbal when Donghyuck sticks his head and sees you there, in the same spot you've promised to sit in the whole tournament. This time his number isn't on your cheek, just a bright green 'gators!' replacing it. It looked quite out of place.

Next to you is Shin Ryujin and Hwang Yeji, this time sure to be there for the beginning of the match on time.

Feelings churn and mix in your best friend's stomach, raging like a storm, ready to be released in a physical form of hockey. Or literal shit. He doesn't know the answer, but he's not going to the bathroom anytime soon.

The guilt is so overwhelming, Donghyuck has felt nothing like it, blooming everywhere around his body. His heart, which aches and longs for you, but knows it's caged with fear and regret. His mind, erasing anything and everything, planting and growing the guilty thoughts and possibilities if you were to come across each other. His bones, that freeze in doubt and don't know what to do, it consumes his body, just like he knew it would.

Donghyuck can't really do anything about it, especially after staring at the exit for solid minutes, to the point where Sicheng had to drag him out and give him a reassuring ruffle on the head he was unaware of.

He quickly follows his captain out the changing room, shoving his mouth guard between his lips and messily bringing the helmet over his head. He's totally out of it, Donghyuck realizes, because there usually isn't a curtain of blonde strands blocking half his sight from the game. Quickly, the junior takes his helmet off, sweeping his hair back, before shoving the helmet back on.

He is unaware of the impact it had on your unsuspecting eyes and burning cheeks.

The team never comprehends how fast they go into the court, just a few warm-ups and the game is starting already.

Donghyuck somehow finds himself already in position, though him mind barely keeps up with his body. He takes a glance to his right, straight at Mark, the older notices and throws a reassuring thumbs up. It clearly did nothing at all.

The only thing that goes through the player's mind when the game finally starts is to 'focus you absolute fucking clown!' and 'don't look at her please dfjaiudj' and about 20 curse words in between each thought.

He can barely call what he's doing playing, this was not Haechan.

After a few solid minutes of trying to feel the game, Donghyuck finally does. He feels the rush of excitement in his veins when he somehow manages to steal the puck from the opponents. He feels the speed he naturally flows as he (attempts) to dodge and avoid anyone in front of him.

He quickly passes the puck to Yangyang, closest open, when he sees he's about to get cornered by a bunch of them.

Yangyang, pro ice hockey, dribbles the puck only for a few mere seconds, before he instantly shoots it in the goal. It's a close one, but he makes it.

The team acknowledges the cheering of the crowd, but quickly dismisses it to not get too happy just yet.

Once again, every player is back in their own world on the rink, in their zone, focusing and playing with their all. You haven't seen them play this seriously since Donghyuck and Jeno's first game when they first got accepted.

The puck is once again within Yangyang's grasp, as he slides around the ice skillfully with ease. At this point, he's definitely MVP. Not hat you know that much of hockey, but you can grasp it slightly with constantly hanging out with Hyuck and his roomates.

The opponents try to keep up with him, attempting to block him and steal the puck, but alas, Yangyang was just to fast.

One of them suddenly pop up in front of him, the team notices, and notice they have a chance of stealing it. Quickly, Donghyuck takes his chance of being the closest one and races to attempt to guard him from Yangyang, and succeeds at first, but he didn't wait for the impact he would get when his body slams with the player.

He slips slightly, and almost knocks Yangyang over, he notices the way his friend is tempted to help him regain his balance, but they're in the middle of a game, and he has the puck.

Yangyang almost loses the puck, just remembering when more of the opponents rush to try get it.

You notice the sour face Donghyuck keeps behind the helmet, a worried sensation twisting in your stomach. He regains his balance and continues on with the game, but dwells on his slip-up with regrets.

It runs throughout his mind every second he's playing, and though he's doing a bit better, he doesn't feel like it at all. He could've screwed up the whole game, heck, could've hurt Yangyang!

Donghyuck doesn't feel the need to smile smugly like he usually does when his team constantly scores, and he only just waves and hugs his teammates when they win.

He has too many things on his mind as he takes his quick shower, once again the first one to exit. Despite being the last one into the showers from the little pep talk with his coach (he was concerned of what was on his mind, typical best coach, coach Lee.) he's the first one out.

Donghyuck thanks the team and congratulates all of them as he waves to most of them who are still taking their victorious showers, and prepares to go back to the dorm and dread over his small mistake on his bed. Maybe even sneak Daegal in. No, Daegal reminds him way too much of you.

The hockey player notices the few stray practice hockey sticks sitting around in the benches, clicking his tongue in annoyance that they had left it out, yet once again.

He seizes the bag of plastic sticks and hauls it over his shoulder, before making his way over to the storage room. The room is next to the other changing room they would use for the other team who comes and plays, but they often use it for the figure skaters instead.

Just as Donghyuck walks out after placing the bag where it was supposed to be he exits the room and shuts the door, wondering who had put the sticks on the benches in the first place. He is shocked for a second the second he hears unfamiliar voices not far to his left, seeing as it was the other team.

He doesn't mind them, simply turning back around to retrieve his duffle bag, his only goal to make it back home and rest.

"Did you see that kid's mistake? Who was it, number 24?"

Donghyuck completely freezes in his spot and continues listening, shock numbing his movements. He feels slight rage within him for letting them assume it was Yangyang's fault, when it was clearly his.

How dare they even trash talk about Yangyang, when he was the best player who destroyed the match? A feeling mixes in Donghyuck's gut, he feels his heart sinking and the anger growing.

It grows even bigger when the some of the teammates begin to laugh, commenting at how they noticed as well.

As if his arm was controlling itself, Donghyuck places his duffle bag down and grabs at his hockey stick, gripping it hard. He may be upset at the mistake today, but that was his mistake, and none of his teammates deserve to take the blame.

Donghyuck is walking up to the group before he knows it, and a scowl paints his face, "Hey assholes!"

You are baffled when Mark comes running up to you int he parking lot, his hair only still damp after just getting out of the shower. "Y/n! Y/n! Have you seen coach?"

You shake your head and stand up from your seat on the curb, "No, why? Is there a problem?"

Mark is still panting, patting his chest, and you think for a hockey player, he should have a lot of stamina. But then again, that just got out of a game.

"H-haechan."

Instant concern fills you, grabbing at Mark's arm. "Haechan? What's wrong with Haechan?" The foreign name sits on your tongue and once again feels out of place, but that's the least of your problems.

Mark pants a few more breaths, before grabbing your forearm to lead you into the building. "He whacked some player in the face with his hockey stick,"

The nurses office is cold, as always with the extra chilly broken AC, but it's just a bit creepier now that Donghyuck is alone. He's always hated medical rooms. They give him lots of anxiety.

Thankfully though, he won't be alone for much longer, because you storm into the room, a threatening finger pointed up and ready to poke at Donghyuck's chest.

But unlike all the other light lectures of how he should be more careful during practice or a game, your best friend braces himself for something much more. Much worse.

To his surprise, you simply sigh and flop your arms back down to your sides, eyeing his many bruises scattered on his cheek. It's your favorite cheek too, the one with his pretty moles you would often daydream about. He doesn't need to know that.

Coach Lee came and quickly broke the fight after Sungchang ran a whole 10 blocks to come call him from his small break in the diner. He came to find Donghyuck with a bruises on his cheek and the other guy he fought with a black eye.

It was a tough to pull them apart, but they evetually managed to, and now Donghyuck is suspended for the rest of the season. Just until semi-finals, at least.

Your gaze travels to the way his fingers subtly pick on each other and the ice pack in his hands, and to the way his lower lip is softly trapped between his teeth. Your heart aches at how vulnerable Donghyuck looks.

With a soft sigh, you walk up to Donghyuck, and seize the ice pack from his hands. Donghyuck thinks it's stupid how his heart still manages to pick up at just the slightest touch of your fingers grazing his. You think it's even dumber how you feel it too.

Kneeling in front of your best friend, you press the ice pack to his cheek, lips twitching at the quiet hiss he lets out. Donghyuck's eyes squint, quite adorably, as he pouts at you, "That's cold."

You can't help but let out a small huff of a laugh, releasing the cold plastic into a softer hold, though you kind of did it on purpose. "Sorry," You then let go of the ice pack, letting Donghyuck take control of how hard to press it to his face.

He doesn’t face you, he doesn’t think he can.

“Did you have to hit him in the face with a hockey stick?”

Your question cuts through the thick tension, the second elephant in the room finally being acknowledged. The first one being whatever happened at the party.

Donghyuck scratches at a random itch at his wrist, avoiding your stern stare, “I mean, yeah. They were trash talking Yangyang when it was clearly my fault. They should’ve been talking about me, not him.”

Albeit thinking Donghyuck is still an ass, you still can’t help but be proud of his actions. But still a bit mad. He could’ve just ignored it, they won the game, after all.

Tired is all your best friend feels, physically. Now that he has company in the eerie room that had his anxiety running, he realizes he’s so tired. It’s just been 20 minutes since the game ended, he just barely managed to shower quickly and throw on a messy outfit before he started the fight. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

Donghyuck snaps out of his daze when you jump up onto the cabinet far in the corner of the room, awkwardly clapping your hands on your thighs. You can’t seem to shake off Donghyuck’s stare though, you can feel it right at you.

You look up at him and sigh, “You’re still an asshole.”

Subject change, to the bigger elephant in the room.

Donghyuck knows. He’s been thinking about how much of a bitch he’s been the past few days. “I know.” He presses the ice harder into his cheek, in hopes of it numbing the many sensations mixing in him.

“Did you mean it? What you said at the party,” He means every single word. He won’t take any of it back, either.

Stiffly, Donghyuck nods slowly, just for a second. You barely manage to catch it, but you do, and it’s doing so much to you. Butterflies flying and fluttering all around your chest, before morphing into confusion and relief. It’s overwhelming, and causes you to start your rant.

“Then why did you run away?”

Donghyuck stays silent, mouth shut, he doesn’t know either. Impulse? Instinct? Or maybe it was fear.

“I love you too, you know?”

It’s like 3 words can change a person’s whole world, and ignite fireworks in one’s chest, because that’s exactly what Donghyuck is feeling. His lips urge to twist up in the brightest smile he’s ever mustered, he wants to jump up and down in the bed he sits on and tell Mark and Jeno how he’s finally got you to like him back.

“But still, what you did at the party, and then ghosting me hurts. A lot. I almost didn’t come to the game today. If it weren’t for Sungchan coming to ask me to come I wouldn’t have.”

Excitement and happiness melts into guilt yet once again, and instead of jumping, Donghyuck wants to sink into the mattress and disappear. He truly is sorry, and doesn’t want to feel any guiltier than before.

Strangely enough, when he glances at you, he doesn’t want to sink anymore. He wants to sit and hear you talk and just stare at you all day. You look really pretty right now for some reason. Maybe it’s because of how you’re very passionately venting out all your weekly stress that’s all probably because of him, or was it because his head wasn't in the great state after the fight?

Donghyuck finds himself trailing his eyes from your passionate ones, to your nose, occasionally scrunching up, he thinks it’s adorable. Your cheeks he misses squishing and pecking during daily catch up talk, and lastly, your lips.

They move with every word Donghyuck doesn’t pay attention to, pouting occasionally at some words, he remembers wanting to kiss them.

He still does.

For the fourth time, Donghyuck wants to kiss you again. Is it really the right time to be feeling like this? Doesn’t really matter because if it isn’t now, when is it? Will there ever be the perfect opportunity? Take the ones you get.

Donghyuck’s thoughts somehow hype him up, as he wants to shut you up with his lips.

“Donghyuck! Jesus christ, Hyuck! Do you ever listen to me? Come on, do something!”

Do something.

Suddenly, words he never thought he’d be telling himself are ringing through his brain, swirling and taking over every thought and decision going up in there.

Kiss her you fool!

Just as you were about to yell your best friend’s name even louder this time, he unexpectedly and very recklessly stands up from his bed, rushing up to you in such speed that startles you. “Hyu-“

Donghyuck stands in between your legs, one of his hands dragging you by the waist to the edge of the counter, as the other puts the ice pack down to hold your neck. It’s so cold, yet gentle, you’re shocked by it, but you have a bigger shock waiting for you just a second later.

Your best friend, crush of who knows how long, Lee Donghyuck, is pressing his lips to yours tightly, pressing harder with every second to wait for your response.

Like putty in his hold, you completely melt into his touch, finally relaxing and letting him lead the way. You’ve been going your own way for so long, and it feels refreshing to finally trust someone to guide you down another flow.

Donghyuck’s lips feel soft, they brush delicately against yours, before taking yours between them in a soft lock. Lips shifting, you kiss back fully, and you find your hands trailing up to hold Donghyuck’s jaw.

Kissing you was not exactly what Donghyuck thought it would be like, but that’s his fault for startling you. When you kiss back however, it feels like everything he’s dreamt of. You two did agree to be each other’s first kisses in 9th grade, but that was just a small peck on the lips. Maybe 2 but that doesn’t matter anymore. He’s kissing you with so much more emotion and real love, and you’re reciprocating it with just as much feelings.

It feels heavenly, especially when you lightly fiddle with the hairs at the nape of his neck, and Donghyuck thinks there was no better time than now. In a cold, dark room after fighting a random dude, and getting distracted by your crush instead of listening to her rant. Yes, perfect.

You pull away quite hurriedly, after all your gasp of air was short lasted and very sudden. You take in short, quick breaths, feeling the tip of your nose nudge against Donghyuck’s.

You can tell he’s nervous, his fingers on your waist are nervously drumming against your jacket and he’s removed his other hand to retrieve the ice pack once again. His eyes softly gaze into yours for any sign of discomfort, worried if he’s stepped over the line.

“Is your lip bleeding?”

Donghyuck’s face scrunches up in confusion, “What?”

“I can taste a bit of blood,” His heart feels like soaring from his chest and bouncing all around his body when your thumb lightly brushes against his lower lip, before gently pulling it down.

“Oh my god, there’s a cut!” Donghyuck can feel the cut sting when you tug a little more, quickly swatting your hand away to replace it with his, “Don’t touch it! Ow-“

Donghyuck juts his lower lip out in a pout, lightly grazing his finger on the cut, before hissing loudly and flinching away. He places his hand over his mouth in pain, taking a few steps back as he whines.

He is unaware of the laughter you try to hold back, but it is quickly acknowledged when you accidentally snort, slapping your own hand over your mouth before you start snickering.

It wasn’t long until your crush starts laughing along softly, staring at your blissful, happy expressions, reaching out to brush away the few strands that fall in front of your face.

Your smile still stays on as you slowly but finally die down from your laughing fit, reaching up to catch Donghyuck’s hand and tangle it with yours. It’s familiar, with the amount of times you’ve done it, but it’s a bit different now after you kissed.

"I'm sorry," Donghyuck mumbles softly. You shake your head and tilt it in confusion, picking up the ice pack from his hands to press it to his face much gentler than before. "For the blood? Oh please, I'm sure you knocked out a few teeth from the guy you hit."

Donghyuck bellows low, soft laughter, encircling his fingers dearly around tour wrist. You can't help but smile at the sound, it's been far too long since you've heard it.

"No, I mean for leaving you hanging like that." Your best friend admits bitterly, he clearly isn't proud of the fact he did it, sighing and looking down at your lap. "It was wrong and cowardly of me to do so. I was just scared, I guess. I'm a coward, you know that." He mumbles.

"But I'm not too sure which I'm more terrified of," Donghyuck's tone changes suddenly, and he looks up with a glint of playfulness, "You rejecting me, or your nagging."

At that, you (not so) lightly kick his shin, pressing the ice pack hard against his cheek. Donghyuck backs away, clasping at his leg, "Ow! I was kidding!"

Your chuckle a second later causes his eyes instantly trail over to your smile, his own itching to grow bigger when you beckon him back to you. He does so gladly, his cheek feeling once again numb at the ice pack you place on his cheek.

"I really am sorry, Y/n. You don't even know how guilty I felt, I still feel. You remember when I stole Jaemin's ice cream once, and he got really upset? Remember how guilty I felt? The guilt I feel right now is like 3 times as bad. It's like when Mark feels guilty, and he gets super guilty. Like that one time he didn't ask for Ten's permission to use his netflix account but he still-"

"You're rambling."

"Right. The point is, I still feel like a dick and I need you to forgive me- verbally. Or I will stay guilty for the rest of my life."

You scoff at the exaggeration at the last part, "I doubt that."

"Y/n that's not the point!" Donghyuck whines, poking at your sides.

A soft giggle bubbles in your throat, you let it flutter around the air and let Donghyuck relish on the sound, before nodding. "Fine, I forgive you, Donghyuck."

He finally relaxes completely at your words, feeling tranquility and peace he's felt before, he's felt whenever he's around you. What more could he want now when he's got you?

"But," You perk up with a small smile and a finger held up in the air. Donghyuck simply stares into your sparkling eyes with attentiveness and curiosity when you poke his other cheek, before it spreads into your whole palm caressing his soft cheek. "you'll need to make up with lots of movie marathons, kisses, and sneaking Daegal into your dorm."

Your lover, crush, your best friend, laughs, nodding, as he leans down to steal one more kiss from you. Second from many more kisses you share in the future.

mini bonus!

You nearly screech in surprise as the door to Donghyuck's room busts open, and you are both shocked to see Chenle there, his hands on his hips as he frowns disappointingly. No words are shared as he marches up to the both of you, not even a single glance until the young chinese boy has his daughter in his arms.

At last, eye contact is made, and you can barely stifle in your laugh as he squints them, "I'm taking the dog," He cradles Daegal into his chest preciously, glaring at the both of you, "dumbasses."

The boy then storms out with Park Jisung who you didn't even realize was by the door, completely dumbfounded at what just unfolded before you just seconds ago.

Both you and Donghyuck shrug, moving on with the movie playing in front of you. You find comfort in your boyfriend's fluffy hair in replacement of the fur of the beloved puppy, fingers running through the strands with care, "Your sneaking skills are really shit."

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