imalongstory2nddraft

[imalongstory2nddraft]

Goodbye

I know grade 10 isn't usually the year for goodbyes. The "norm" for good-byes in school is grade 11 or 12 however I feel that a goodbye is necessary. Change is something that is continuous within all our lives however I feel that this year had a little more change than usual. Between friend groups, relationships, personalities, teachers.... Everything has changed and it has affected everyone in some type of way. When I say goodbye it's not to people, it's to everything else that either I'm happy to see go or a little sad. Good news though! With every goodbye to something old comes a hello to something new. So without further a do, let's take a little inspiration from the Beatles and start saying hello with every goodbye.

Goodbye most stressful year of my life, hello last year of my highschool career. Goodbye to the dreadful drama of every past year hello to the unwanted but predictable drama to come. Goodbye old teachers and hello to the fear of starting every morning with different faces that my brain will have to adjust to seeing. Actually... That's a good word; "adjust". Goodbye to all of the comfortable routines and hello to all the adjustments that I'll have to make. Goodbye grade 10... Its been a love/hate relationship and heeelloooooo to change that will hopefully be for the best!

It's been a fast.... Very fast ride but I think Im ready to keep saying hello and everyone should be aswell because life is about experiences. To new experiences and old goodbyes!

Cheers!

[imalongstory2nddraft]

What a Life

I would lile to start this off with a question.... Have you ever been with people you love and just enjoy sitting within their presence? Not having any conversations with them, just listening in aw at how lucky you are to have those people in your life? I have... Not to gloat but everytime I'm with my family I get this way. Whether is be a quarter of my family, half of my family, or my entire family I always seem to feel a sense of warmth, compassion, and acceptance when I'm near them. It's a feeling that I wish upon everyone in the world, good and bad because everyone deserves a chance to be happy with family. Unfortunately for many, that feeling is ripped away, stolen, lost, or they simply just never had it. It's difficult to imagine what that would be like for someone who's life is very family oriented. When your world revolves around something so special and important, I can't help but wonder how hard my world would crash if I lost that.

Loved ones aren't only people you're related to or friends with.... They're people who you share such strong bonds with that the catastrophies of those bomds breaking are devastating to even glimpse about in your thoughts.

We are raised to have love for one another... It's inate within humans. It's our intinct to care for eachother, just as it is for everyother animal. However, as evolution continues those instinct seem to be less and less prominent as the years go on for some... Instead of love for others, recent generations are more focused on the praise they recieve from others. Our generations are becoming more selfish, rape as a lesser conviction than abortion, why? Rape is a self-serving act, when abortion is an act to possibly erase the previous act. The earth is dying and still we're focusing on problems of the past... Not caring for the future, only thinking of ourselves. As much as we detest to admit is, ourselves are number priorities which is fine. However when you're putting other lives in danger to keep yourself happy, what are we teaching the future generations? Will it be too late for them to learn from our mistakes?

Back to my main point, try to enjoy those times when you're just lost in your own happy thought surrounded by youre loved ones because on the future that sense of love and care with rub off on others. In order to keep that love and cherishment alive we must start with the ones closest to us.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

It's So Interesting...

Something random for you

I was driving in silence with my dad the other day after a long day at work. My brain felt like mush and I didn't have any small talk prepared for the ride to ease my dads nerves for the thought of his clumsy daughter driving. A random idea popped into my head, a rather useful one for a needed conversation at the time. I asked him, "dad, are you ever surprised that you actually created me? I came from you dad... Have you ever just thought about that? How spectacular that is?" He said "All of the time kenz... It boggles my mind. When you were little, I... I was so paranoid of someone taking you away from me, someone kidnapping you.." this brought back memories of the pink backpack my dad made me carry around everywhere that had a secret alarm button, so if I experienced a stranger danger moment I would press a button and it would sound like my backpack was a high-level security facility. I remembered the many one-sided conversations of my father telling me to hide in the secret door in my closet if anyone broke into our house... And of course the rehearsal of calling the infamous 911. Can you believe people call me "Ms. Paranoid"? It may sound crazy but, to my parents my existence was proof of the crazy miracle that they actually made me. The creation of life is an eternity-asked question in itself. Where the real curiosity lies for me is how many people there are in the world that we don't know, that we will never know. How people in Russia are living their lives just the same as we are, but we never think twice about the larger scale of the world, solar system, universe. In the grand scheme of things, the series of events that lead everyone in the world to where they are now is what interests me. Rock stars, inventors, scientists, soldiers, office workers, slaves, homeless, starving, the dead. They have lived a life at some point that's led them to where they are, whether they wanted it or not. Frankly, it's frightening to think that you could fall anywhere whether you work hard or not. To add on to the massive mystery of figuring out where you're gonna end up, you also have to figure out yourself... And everyone else around you. This may not make sense to many, but for those who tend to get lost in their heads often, here's a useful question to ponder over. If you think this is nonsense, which my thoughts are 9 times out of 10, then atleast now you have the conversation starter that I often lack while driving with my father.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

Vulnerable

It was that night

That finally shed some light

On the person you really are

As you layed me down to stare at the stars

I thought I would be safe

You were my best friend

But that had to end

When you destroyed all the trust I gave

You said it was just fun

But I knew that look

You had caught me on your hook

I thought I was just dumb

I wonder, did you know?

That I was scared of you?

That I tried to say no

But my fear continued

It was my fault

I was the one who fell onto the asphalt

You may have pushed me

But I was the one who should've screamed my plea

I wonder, did you feel my trembles

Where your hand was unwanted?

It was my nightmares that you resembled

And now you say that I was the one who flaunted

Would you have felt better

If I smiled when you strangled me with your sweater?

If when you weighed me down

I welcomed you as if you wore a crown

I'm aware you don't feel bad

Because you acted like it was nothing

Like I am nothing

Even though I still struggle not to feel sad

I'm aware that you didn't care

Because as my heavy breathing was consumed by shaking

You continued to take advantage, while caressing my hair

It was as if my words were no longer existing

If only I could speak

But I was drowning in blame

And now suffocating in shame

As you remain content with my defeat

I may be loud now

Only to block out my silent cries

There's always something for me to hide

Caused by you somehow

I wonder if you are ashamed

That I was as afraid of you as you are of yourself?

Of everything that you became?

Both of us desperate to fix ourselves...

I wish it wasn't real

If only I wouldn't freeze

I wonder if you're at ease

I don't know how you feel

I was vulnerable

And you lied

I am still vulnerable

And you still lie

It was that night

That forever changed my outlook on life

Now as my eyes glance up towards the night sky

I remember why then that I wanted to die

Based on the perspective of a woman that is struggling with sexual assault to raise awareness to not take vulnerability as an answer.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

The Storm the Brought an Answer

Waves begin to crash the beach as the sun finally sets. The dark clouds in the sky are now figures behind what seems like everlasting lightning. The water gets closer and closer as the piercing sound of thunder becomes a rythem for my feet to run to. I keep running along the sand, searching for something... Anything to take cover... But all there is, is a constant flooding desert. Finally a tree appears in the distance. I keep sprinting from the loud storm gaining on me, towards the lonesome tree. I am weak and tired... I don't want to give up. What choice do I have? I've been stranded here for days without any sign of hope. This storm has pushed me to this single tree within miles and miles of sand surrounded by water. It is tall and thin, scarce with leaves, but it seems to hide me from the gaining storm. As I am resting against it's trunk I feel an object underneath my limp hand. The unlikely shelter hides something within it's roots. The raging storm dies down within these few seconds of being under this tree. My this is a sign? As I brush away the sand off the object, I notice a glass bottle with a piece of paper inside. I have no recollection of how I've arrived on this wasteland of white sand, water, and more white sand, but I do know that the storm brought me to this tree, and this tree has shown me this bottle. Could this bottle be the answer as to why I'm trapped on this prison? As I use my last bit of strength to pry open the bottle my heart creates another rythem with it's beats that pulsates through my body with excitement. I tip the bottle to the left and the paper slides out onto the palm of my hand. I unravel it's rough edges awaiting the answer to my searing question. With my last remaining bit if energy I squint my eyes to see that the paper indeed is blank. The answer is nothing. I continue to lie here as the now soft, soothing waves of the ocean entrap me with more questions as my eyes begin to close once again.

Just a weird, random, story. It could mean nothing or it could have a meaning, it's up to the readers interpretation.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I keep my head down

I change and walk out

Hiding my frown

Trying to block you out

Yet here I am again,

standing before you

Trying to see right through

Trying to see what I could gain

Instead there goes my worth

It must be me

I'm the only one that truly sees

It's been that way since birth

Everywhere I go there you are

A reflection...

I wish you wouldn't cause me another scar

But it seems like my only option

You keep your eyes glued to mine

As you watch them well up

Closer to being blind

Closer to blowing up

You fill my mind with deception

I can't believe I'm looking at my own reflection

I wish these mind games would change

But my conscience is out of range

I see everything you see

Which makes me think

Has it always been me?

Choosing to see this everytime I blink,

My reflection...

It's me even though I wish it wasn't

And it's you that keeps showing me

Causing the same reaction

Always something new

Something to be fixed

Shown to me by you

If only I could have a break through

Mirror mirror on the wall

When will I be able to stand tall

When will I learn to love

How will my reflection be something to be proud of

This poem was written to be based on the perspective of what many woman deal with on a day to day basis when the look into a mirror.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

To Prevent or Not to Prevent

My father and I took this picture years ago. It was the night of a blood moon. It got me thinking, how many more generations will be able to see such beauty as well as how much longer will such beauty last?

"To prevent or not to prevent." Yes, I am trying to sound smart by trying to slip a little shakespear in here and there, but that's besides the point. Many things in life are prevented for the soul perpose of protection, however, there are things out there that don't need to be prevented. For example, that fact that the media is being taken advantage of. The media is used as a disguise to cover up other questions, we as a population have. It keeps us occupied, thinking, questionning other things.

Have you ever thought about what all of our questions would be if there wasn't a thing such as fame, news, media, technology, etc.? If we weren't always trying to discover new ways on how we can evolve? As a planet, we are addicted to evolving. We are addicted to change. To put it plain and simple, we are greedy.

There's nothing wrong with growing, however, there are consequences. What are those consequences? Well, most have them have come into light only in recent decades, but whose to say that things like nuclear war, global warming, over population, etc. are the only consequences? Our world is so focused on politics, fame, and money that we are being distracted from the larger task at hand. Not everyone is like this, but as the saying goes "majority rules".

Countries are all wanting to be at the top of the world no matter how much they deny it. This obsession of advancing is clouding everyone's judgment. We are so focused on "our future" when in reality our greed is preventing us from focusing on the real future of what could happen to our world as we know it if we continue down this path.

Just a little ponder I had, and this is my opinion. Enjoy the little things in life and have interest in culture but don't let it consume you, keep questionning the universe and be more curious about what it can offer versus what you can take.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

We all have them

Yes, indeed, we wouldn't be alive if we didn't have them. Not only do humans have them, but so do animals. Have you ever seen cat fail videos? Those are the epitome of awkwards moments for cats. However for me, my life is an entire awkward moment so far, and that would be a long compilation video to watch so I've narrowed the many ongoing awkward times to one that I am still reminded of by my best friend to this day. I mean, it's got to be pretty bad for it to drag on for almost eight years now.

Back in elementary school, where no single kid can not look back to a yearbook of awkwardness, I was the odd one out. Yes, I'm aware that every kid was kind of a loner in elementary school at some point but I was always the top weirdo in my little rinky-dinky school. My personality tended to attract the bullies... And I mean bullies from older grades which is normal, my own grade which is understandable, and younger grades which is just embarrassing. As a result I was pantsed a few times (more than I'd like to admit), beat up (it was just a kick to the stomach that felt like it through the soul right out of me), and of course excluded.... Often. In all fairness I am told I was bossy which I can believe considering I'm and only child and I am exceptionally alike to my mother who is a perfectionist. Spoiler, now I am still that weirdo and am much better on the bossy part but people aren't as naive as those little ten year olds we're back then, growing up is fun kids.

So, continuing with my pitiful past, whenever I was included I felt it was a need for me to impress the kids that always lied to teachers saying I did something wrong so they could get rid of me. To be honest I'm not sure why I tried so hard to be their friend, my guess is because I was tired of the constant 'sit-downs' with teachers trying to convince them that I was a good kid, going against the word of all the, for lack of a better word, little brown-nosers. And people wonder why I don't like confrontation to this day, who am I kidding though, no one does.

One day as I was working my magic, charming all the other girls with my talent of swinging really high, the tiny rugrats asked started to spin me on the swing. Four of them were spinning me because, if you haven't caught on, when I call them tiny, they we actually small, like I felt like a sad giant compared to them. They continued to spin me as it started to rain. The chain of the swing continued to twirl me up as the bell rang. Again, this is elementary school, the place where you needed snowpants or else you were confined outside on the stairs because you weren't aloud to play. God forbid it rained!! But it did, as nature often does, so the entire school had to go inside, but there I was, being spun up close to the top of the swing set, with a rubber swing being jabbed into my gut. I lossed all confidence in trying to impress, I just wanted to get down. I screamed and begged them to twist me down but their response was snarky giggles. They let me go and watched me lose any ounce of dignity I got thinking that they actually liked me. I was whaling and squirming. The entire school was there lined up at the stairs standing in the rain waiting to be let in by a miserable monitor. It was then that I heard the giggling get louder, everything was moving so fast as I was spinning out of control. I was starting to get nauseous. And then it happened. Something no one expected or wanted to see. I flew off the swing and landed hard in the rocks crying. My pants and underwear were still spinning on the swing that spit me off and sent me flying. There I was, lying on the rocks, pantsless, crying, with the entire school laughing at me in the schoolyard. Even teachers were laughing.... And I was left to scramble and unhook my jeans and underwear and put them back on by myself as the school went inside to hide from the rain.

I laugh today because, how does that happen?! I bet you were thinking I was just going to throw up, well that happened three years later so you're a little early. As much as my parents dislike me saying it, I'm happy all of that stuff happened to me. All those things those little girls made fun of me for, I can continue to laugh at now... And let me tell you, it's a great defense mechanism. Moral of the story is don't try to impress people, let them try to impress you. Most importantly swing safe kids.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

Dear Past me,

I am aware it is not physically possible to talk to your past self in this point in time, however if it were possible, this is what I would say.

(Edit: Fair warning, this gets a little deep and somewhat personal)

You're love for odd music has not changed. You still dance around the house constantly hoping non of the joggers on your street will notice your hideous dance moves.... And yes you still continue to constantly, accidentally, injure yourself even if the circumstances make it nearly impossible for you to do so. You are still a very loud, rambunctious, hyper person and because of your elevating age, the looks you get from strangers who whiteness you in all your glory become more bizarre as time goes on.

The stress free lifestyle you may be living now changes in the future. Growing up isn't all that fun, infact, most of your choices derive from complete utter confusion at first... But you tend to figure things out at the last minute. Procrastination becomes you're new frenemy.

There will be many times when you will doubt yourself, to the point that you will dislike yourself. There will be times where you've reached an ultimate low, and just as you know it, you've swam deeper into the obyss of the Mariana's Trench. I won't sugar coat it, you will feel like you're alone. You will hide things from shame, laugh to fit in, smile to make others happy, and never cry, because if you cry, you know that you are admitting to yourself that there is something wrong.

You will keep praying that it will stop, that the downward spiral you're suffocating in will stop, but it won't. It won't because you keep it all in, and you won't let it out. One day however, you will, and a weight will be lifted off of your shoulders. When that day comes, you won't hide things anymore because of shame, you will laugh because you are happy, you will smile because you know that if you cry, someone will be there to listen. Life changes, you will change. It’s called growing up they say. It’s called being a teenager they say. What they don't say is that it'll happen when you're least expecting it, and you won't realize it's happening until it's over. You'll realize that you have become more stong, beautiful, and high on life than you were before.

We will learn from our past in order to prepare us for our future. We will look back to a mix of emotions knowing that in the end it was all worth it, because now we're still dancing in our room looking like an idiot and not caring about it. We'll be listening to Ottis Redding and Niel Diamond, enjoying what we've overcome and ready for what's to come.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

Indeed, I Still Have Christmas Lights in my Room

That's because I'm a festive person, even if there's nothing really to be festive about.

All my life I've always wanted to travel, to see the world. At a young age I found myself more interested in science and the history behind it more than the average 7 year old. For example, some of my public speaking topics in elementary school were "D.N.A and What it Means" "All about the Ocean (all of them as well as an extra few parts about Marianna's Trench)" "La Lune" (it was in french, try saying Galileo in french at the age of ten, it's not that easy). I've always had a passion for science, my dream was to become a crime scene investigator at the age of 8, then a forensic anthropologist, then a marine biologist for a few years. Most of my ideas derived from TV shows like "CSI Las Vegas" or "Bones" ect. But I realized what my true passion was when my father showed me a video game... Yes a video game. You read that right, it was Lara Croft: Tomb Raider that really helped me figure out my passion.

I'm aware it's not unheard of when people who are my age say that they 'dream to see the world' and that they 'have a burning desire to travel before they settle down", and yes, I can relate. I am sure many people can. However, I love culture, I love the science behind culture, I love languages, stories, music, and most of all the question "why?".

I've have always been a very curious person, always finding my parents on their last inch of patience as I'd ask them "why?" For the 44th time in the past three hours. To this day, I do the same thing to my science class mates... I haven't changed. I would like to become an anthropologist/archeologist to fulfil my passion (I am also aware that this entire entry is the maximum chessiness my account will reach... I hope). These christmas lights highlight my inspiration to try and become what deep down I've always wanted. We are a tiny speck in the world, that thought boggles my mind, and I want to learn more about all the other specs in the world. (And the cheesiness level somehow increases.)

[imalongstory2nddraft]

The memories I have with my famiy and friends mean the world to me.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

The Big Break

Ah, what we've all been waiting for. The days leading up to it seem drastically long but when it finally starts it seems to be already ending. My break has been mostly me catching up on my sleep then staying up late with my family. Resulting in me, messing my sleep schedule up, yet again.

I am still stressing about homework that was given over the holidays... So that kind of sucks. With that aside though, it's been pretty great. School was getting to me, as I'm betting it was for most people, so it's nice to have a breather once and awhile to feel like a calm and collected person again.

This gif was taken the last day before vacation, we were all so happy with our gifts that we got eachother and the laughter we were having that we wanted to capture this moment with some fantastic (I'm not sure if you can call them that) dance moves.

Over all Christmas was amazing, I got to spend time with my family, go skating on the lake behind my grandma's house, and stay up until 4:30am with my grandma. Bonus! I also got to sleep on my grandma's electric lazy boy (I bet you're jealous). While enjoying the maximum amount of comfort I was getting from the lazy boy, my over-6ft-tall uncle scared the poop right out of me at 5:30 in the freaking morning!! He was just prancing around the house on his light little feet, talking to my other uncle and I as if we wanted to listen to him babble while we were SLEEPING, might I remind you! Following my uncle's surprise visit, was my grandma's kitten (the daughter of my cat) repeatedly gnawed on my feet. It was 8:00am when my toes were finally spared, as the rest of the house woke up. Non the less, I am actually greatful for having a sum of about two and a half hours of sleep, because it gave me something I cherish most, memories with my family.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

"It wouldn't be you if you didn't"-Dad 12/23rd/18

I've always been known as a very clumsy, loud, and hyper, eccentric person . I used to be embarrassed about this, because I would be made fun of all the time. I realized that it's what makes me happy.

For example, this morning my father made brunch, and he was sitting at the table, I was tossing an manderine up and down and catching it mid air (over hand). My dad was peacefully enjoying his brunch along to the 80's music soundtrack I picked to listen to early this morning. I really got into tossing my manderine as I got up from my chair and started counting my score, until BANG! I accidentally smacked the orange straight into my father's plate of food that he was so very proud of!! He looked at me, my hands over my mouth in astonishment, and said "it wouldn't be you if you didn't, you know what? I gotta get you a shirt that says that". I busted out with laughter, and so did my dad.

I am an eccentric person and I make fun of myself all of the time for that. Many would say that's not a good thing that I use self-deprecating humor, but my lord, I make it so easy for myself. If only there were a montage of all the times I've done stupid stuff or have fallen, tripped, and slipped, it would literally be a summary of my life.

I feel bad for my parents, having to raise a kid like me must've been pretty stressful (still is). My dad has gained a very fast reflex because of me, if he hears anything that could possibly be me falling down the stairs in the middle of the night (it's happened before...) Then one second he's lying down in his bed and the next standing up, on the move, to the loud crashing and banging within seconds. There is no in-between, he's either sleeping or on the run! If he put those reflexes I gave him to good use, who knows what he could do with that speed. Another thing that worked out pretty well, if I do say so myself, is that my mother is an ER nurse. Pretty ironic considering....She can take care of all the wounds I endure and she's like a part time therapist, so that's a bonus.

I guess the moral I am desperately searching for in this little story is; to embrace your "bad" qualities, because once you do that, they can make you the happiest person alive.

One of the only pieces of evidence of my many encounters ending badly, with nothing else but the ground.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

The Rush

Is it really Christmas anymore? The rush of getting expensive gifts for everyone is such a hassle if you ask me, but I still enjoy it anyways. I mean, now a days people tend to focus on the gifts more than the actual holidays. I am definitely one to blame. I got my first job this summer, I like to say that I only had a two weeks of summer. Those two weeks I was guaranteed no work because I was on sick leave after injuring my foot. The entire summer I was always on call to work, so I could never make any plans. My sleeping schedule was horrible, I’d start work at 3pm, finish at 1am and start at 9am the next morning until 11pm. My days off would be spent in my bed, trying to catch up on the many hours of sleep I’d missed. All I wanted was to be able to take out my grandmother and parents out to dinner... and of course do a little shopping sprees here and there for myself with the money I worked so hard for.

I take after my parents in regards of having the over generosity gene. I have a massive family and love to make the people I love happy, if you add Christmas to that, it’s, well, I haven’t decided if it’s a bad thing or not, yet. This year I decided to get for the cousins I’m closest with, all of my aunts and uncles, my grandma, my friends, and my parents. Many would say I’m crazy, but I really and truly love making people happy as cheesy as that sounds. However, I have come to the realization today as I crossed of the last few people on me x-mas list, that Christmas is becoming more and more about the money value of gifts instead of the best part of Christmas gifts which is the sentimental value. I realized today that I could make something much more sentimental that many of my family members could cherish for years instead of going with my original plan to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars. For some reason I thought they would appreciate money value more than loving gifts. I believe that is because in today’s society we are instilled to think that having the the most ugliest name brands out there will make us happier because they’re more expensive. In reality, when we are faced with the truth of what we would actually rather, the majority would say love.

Also, I’m aware that whoever is reading this most likely thinks that I just came up with this soppy, meaningful ending because I really just realized that I was way in over my head with spending all of this money. I will let you think what you think, because you wouldn’t be entirely wrong... whoops! I guess?

(got this video today, there was a line up of kids, the front one crying, no surprise there, and the Santa was sleeping😂😂)

[imalongstory2nddraft]

A Little Rant...

Actually, strap in, because it’s kind of a long and senseless one.

Do you ever feel like the world’s against you? I bet you’ve never heard that one before... but seriously. I know it’s an overused/dramatic statement, but at times it can feel pretty realistic. Have you ever just gotten to a certain point in your life where you’re so stressed and your mind is racing and you can’t sleep so you find yourself sitting in your room in pitch black darkness listening to Billy Idol’s “Eyes Without a Face” on replay? No?... Asking for a friend of course. Sometimes a feeling can just overtake you and suffocate you without a reason. For example, my friend was on Youtube once. She was procrastinating her never ending assignments, trying to disappear from the real world for a tiny bit; leaping into the black hole of social media. During her period of becoming a hermit in her room, hunched over her phone an ad. popped up. It was for “Huggies” diapers. Babies were waddling around on her screen�� and as soon as my friend was about to press the “Skip Ad” button, something on the advertisement caught her attention. “There’s nothing like a hug. What happens in Huggies stays in Huggies. Designed to stop leaks. Do it in Huggies” The ad ended and then it started... the leaking from her eyes of course. She realized that she could’ve really used a hug...(not the diaper). 

Sometimes we all have the embarrassing feelings of overwhelming stress and fear that takes over our emotions. We start thinking to ourselves... “WHO CRIES AT A DIAPER COMMERCIAL?!?!” You never really realize that you need a break until your parents walk in on you, spoon in hand, halfway through the tub of cookie dough ice cream, binge watching pimple popping videos. Little do your parents know you’re stalling and distracting yourself from all of your uncontrollable emotions. I mean, if you’ve reached this point in your life, someone can be eating a cheese stick  the wrong way and just because they’re biting instead of string it apart (millenials get me) YOU SNAP! Everyone has those days. The worst of those days is when you’re trying so hard not to scream at Ron for eating that cheese stick the wrong way, so you jam your earphones in your ears. All you’re in the mood for is to isolate yourself from the world with the “Guardians of the Galaxy” soundtrack. A little “Hall and Oats” can’t hurt nobody, am I right? Then, freaking Becky comes along, rips out your ear buds (little did she know, messing with your “Happy” playlist time was a gigantic mistake). Replacing your calming music is a high pitched, little snarking voice saying “Wow, looks lie someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Try socializing maybe? Was it a lazy day or something?” “You know what Becky??! Yeah, I am wearing a hoodie and sweats and not talking to you!!! So what? I am perfectly content that way!!!”

Sometimes you can’t always control yourself and life may make you act crazy. If I’m being honest, sometimes all of those crazy emotions can be the only things that give you the chance to let go of steam. Once you break down, it takes something much stronger to break you down again. To elaborate on this crazy, weird, random, emotional rant is that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. A little life crisis every now and then can be a wee useful in regards to the future.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

Stuck with Eight: Part 2

Continuing my story about adopted cats, Tinker was next. One night a little after Christmas it was a -20° night. My parents, my animals, and myself were all warm and cozy in our home. When we let out me dog to go to the bathroom, there he was. Tinker stood there on our porch trembling, he was soaking wet in this weather!!! He wouldn't have survived if we left him there so we let him inside. The next few nights were like this, he would sleep all warm in the comfort of our home. The nights turned into days and escalated from there, however, my mother was still adamant that he could not be our cat. My dad begged, he felt bad for the poor thing. "Kerr," he would say "there's nothing worse than a cat that doesnt have a home except for a cat that thinks it has a home". My father has always been the one to come up with quotes are sayings in our family, for example "don't think outside of the box, think outside of the warehousw that the box is in" is one that I'll never forget. As for Tinker, my dad's poetic way about him got the cat a permanent home. Pretty ironic considering Tinker used to be the grump of the house and the one person who turned him to an affectionate (at times) kitty was my father . We call him the cat whisperer because he never gives as much attention to the cats as my mother and I do but for some reason they are always puring against him. Next is all about the twins and how we ended up stuck with eight all ruining my mother's furniture.

[imalongstory2nddraft]

Growing up Without my Massive Family as an Only Child

Many know that I am from down south aka, North Carolina. My parents love adventure, and when my mother had the opportunity to work at Lenior Memorial Hospital in Lincoln county as an registered E.R. nurse, she couldn't pass it up. Three years went by, my parents were happily married, and getting yearly visits from their family members. One visit from my mother's mum was very significant in my life, my grandma said "when are the two of you gonna give me a grandbaby already?!" My parents joke that she put a jinx on them because 10 months later my grandma was back down holding me in her arms.

My father became a stay home dad, taking care of me while my mother worked. He pimped out my three wheel stroller with speakers playing all sorts of composers from Mozart to Chopin to Tchaikovsky. We had a system, every day he would ask me which park I would like to go to, we color coded the parks to make things a little easier. At my favourite park, the Beige park, I sat on a log infested with fire ants.... I didn't visit that park for awhile after that and have a tiny fear of insects that are on me to this day to say the least.

When we would get home we would play a series of games from Hide and go seek to Mail Man; a game created that consists of me enclosing myself in a cardboard box and my dad droping me off at various places in the apartment saying that I had arrived in a new country. For some reason I was obsessed with going to Australia (usually in a corner of our apartment). On my mother's days off we would head to the beach and visit the indoor aquarium near it.

To keep our family in Canada updated, my father would take home videos of me and send it to them all so they could watch. I will say I miss the never ending amount of colorful lizards crawling outside of our garden, but I am happy to be able to be as close to my family as I am now.

In preschool I was learning Spanish and going to church every morning, but I wasn't making many friends. I am an only child and my only friends were my parents. It was kind of tough for a kid like me. I was a tinch desperate. Everytime I'd see a kid at a park I would run up to him or her and say "wanna play with me?" Those words were always a hit or miss. In this video, the kid playing with me was very nice but also really scared me... So I am not sure if you would consider this a hit or not.