imfromthemiddlekingdom

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

My Nolofinwë brainrot is back in full force!!!!

Imagine growing up in a household where you KNOW your father loves you but not more than your elder brother who can do now wrong in his eyes even when he ignores your existence and probably hates your mother. Imagine growing up as a PRINCE of the Noldor but always coming in second in the eyes of the people because you’re NOT your brother. You don’t shine as bright as him, you’re not as crafty as him. The work of your hands do not inspire such devotion that even the gods above seek to bless it with their protection.

Imagine knowing that the sole reason for your existence is because your fathers beloved first wife was condemned to an entirety in the Halls of Mandos and thus causing your brilliant elder brother to despise your mother and ignore your existence so wholly it starts fracturing the Noldor. Imagine trying your best to be friends with your brother but him pushing you away at every turn so eventually you decide that if you can’t have his love you’d have his hatred because even hatred is better than the indifference he showed you growing up.

Imagine loving and hating your brother in equal measure, imagine hating him so much for condemning your host to the ice because of your choice to name yourself with an extra Finwë in your name yet mourning him so deeply when you cross the ice just to discover he is already dead and all your hate cannot be aimed at the person responsible because what good is holding on to that hate when he is already dead? What good is that hate when you KNOW you can never have any sort of resolution with him until the breaking of the world? What good is holding on to that hatred when your nephews are holding on by a string and civil war may very well break out due to your beloved and loathed half brother?

Do you think Nolofinwë thought of his much loved and much loathed brother Feanor when he rode out to Angbang to challenge the Dark Lord himself?

Do you think that he thought of how he might meet his end the same way Feanor did? Riding out before the host and getting ambushed by Balrogs? Do you think he thought that this is the one way he can one up his brother? By succeeding when Feanor failed? By wounding the Dark Vala so badly he refused to leave his black walls? Do you think at the end of his life when he saw Morgoths foot coming down on him, when he raised his sword for one last strike, do you think he thought that maybe, just maybe, his deeds of valour may finally make his brother proud? That maybe he lived up to his bright, fiery, spirited brother at last? That although he may not have made the greatest works known to man, but he succeeded where bright Feanor failed?

Do you think that he searched the halls for Feanor? Even knowing he may have been condemned to the void? Or do you think he, in his last moments, cursed Feanor more than he did when crossing the ice because if it weren’t for his oath to him, his children and nephews may still very much be alive?

I cannot begin to describe just how much Nolofinwë lives in my mind rent free. The angst growing up, the resentment that built up in him every single time he gets compared to Feanor, the desperation to get to know him anyways because that’s his brother! His older brother! The one that was supposed to love him but didn’t because of his mother. Gods Nolofinwë makes me feral in a way that not even the Sons of Feanor can.

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

You are My Sunshine

This was inspired by a comment made on my last video by @Regnumveritatis . I can imagine Athenide singing ‘you are my sunshine’ to Asclepius as a baby and that lullaby becoming sooooo sad after he’s gone and before he comes back and ascends.

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Wine is exactly like omegaverse fanfiction

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Children i hc Perse raised, sources? My heart. Asclepius,astyanax, Remus and Romulus

Asclepius, seeing his adoptive mom around other kids: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

—

Zeus: kill the boy

Odysseus: I— I have no choice… I’ll have to use my secret move… *takes a deep breath* PERSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, YOUR UNCLE IS TELLING ME TO COMIT INFANTICIDE!!!!!!!

Zeus: 👺

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

One like=one prayer, reblogs cast, ignore for american supremacy

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

"I lowkey thought a Valar would know how to dodge, so I guess we're both disappointed."

Celegorm | Dieties, for c&c week :)

Close ups:

(based off of and referenced from that one meme)

@cnc-week

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

But Celegorn said: 'Know this: thy going is in vain; for could ye achieve this quest it would avail nothing. Neither thee nor this Man should we suffer to keep or to give a Silmaril of Fëanor. Against thee would come all the bretheren to slay thee rather. And should Thingol gain it, then we would burn Doriath or die in the attempt. For we have sworn our Oath.' - The War of the Jewels, "The Grey Annals"

Tolkien in Color: The House of Finwë (part 10/x) < part 9 ||

for @cnc-week

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

My Nolofinwë brainrot is back in full force!!!!

Imagine growing up in a household where you KNOW your father loves you but not more than your elder brother who can do now wrong in his eyes even when he ignores your existence and probably hates your mother. Imagine growing up as a PRINCE of the Noldor but always coming in second in the eyes of the people because you’re NOT your brother. You don’t shine as bright as him, you’re not as crafty as him. The work of your hands do not inspire such devotion that even the gods above seek to bless it with their protection.

Imagine knowing that the sole reason for your existence is because your fathers beloved first wife was condemned to an entirety in the Halls of Mandos and thus causing your brilliant elder brother to despise your mother and ignore your existence so wholly it starts fracturing the Noldor. Imagine trying your best to be friends with your brother but him pushing you away at every turn so eventually you decide that if you can’t have his love you’d have his hatred because even hatred is better than the indifference he showed you growing up.

Imagine loving and hating your brother in equal measure, imagine hating him so much for condemning your host to the ice because of your choice to name yourself with an extra Finwë in your name yet mourning him so deeply when you cross the ice just to discover he is already dead and all your hate cannot be aimed at the person responsible because what good is holding on to that hate when he is already dead? What good is that hate when you KNOW you can never have any sort of resolution with him until the breaking of the world? What good is holding on to that hatred when your nephews are holding on by a string and civil war may very well break out due to your beloved and loathed half brother?

Do you think Nolofinwë thought of his much loved and much loathed brother Feanor when he rode out to Angbang to challenge the Dark Lord himself?

Do you think that he thought of how he might meet his end the same way Feanor did? Riding out before the host and getting ambushed by Balrogs? Do you think he thought that this is the one way he can one up his brother? By succeeding when Feanor failed? By wounding the Dark Vala so badly he refused to leave his black walls? Do you think at the end of his life when he saw Morgoths foot coming down on him, when he raised his sword for one last strike, do you think he thought that maybe, just maybe, his deeds of valour may finally make his brother proud? That maybe he lived up to his bright, fiery, spirited brother at last? That although he may not have made the greatest works known to man, but he succeeded where bright Feanor failed?

Do you think that he searched the halls for Feanor? Even knowing he may have been condemned to the void? Or do you think he, in his last moments, cursed Feanor more than he did when crossing the ice because if it weren’t for his oath to him, his children and nephews may still very much be alive?

I cannot begin to describe just how much Nolofinwë lives in my mind rent free. The angst growing up, the resentment that built up in him every single time he gets compared to Feanor, the desperation to get to know him anyways because that’s his brother! His older brother! The one that was supposed to love him but didn’t because of his mother. Gods Nolofinwë makes me feral in a way that not even the Sons of Feanor can.

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

...and you know what? Everything would have gone better for pretty much everyone if Ungoliant HAD eaten the silmarils, and then Melkor as dessert. Like, none of this book happens after that. 'But Ungoliant would have then consumed all light' I see that like John Himself you are drunk on the light=goodness doctrine. Thousands of beautiful Avari disagree. 'But she would have become a super powerful--' still way easier to kill than Melkor because she is a big round dummy. MY big round dummy. She would eat up Elf Satan and his three pretty shinies and then take a happy little nap and then 1 Tulkas would solve the whole problem. Then the Valar could make the sun and moon as usual and everything is fine. Besides the silms were already hallowed so eating them might have killed her anyway. Either way, wins all around. The silmarils rightfully belong to Ungoliant because she was promised them and then absolutely 100% textually won them fair and square.

'What about Sauron' you know what, fascinating question. I bet he cries.

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

When it became clear at last that Míriel would never of her own will return to life in the body within any span of time that could give him hope, Finwë's sorrow became embittered. He forsook his long vigils by her sleeping body and sought to take up his own life again; but he wandered far and wide in loneliness and found no joy in anything that he did. - The Peoples of Middle-Earth, "The Shibboleth of Fëanor"

Tolkien in Color: The House of Finwë (part 1/x) || part 2 >

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Pop Culture Chinese Mythology? : The Heaven Haters Boy Band

I first introduced the Heaven Haters boy band in my Erlang Shen post, but it’s a recent meme that describes Ne Zha, Sun Wukong and Erlang Shen as the 反天庭三人组, or the Anti-Heavenly Court Trio. A little like the 3 Musketeers.

I already included this art in a different post but it just goes so hard.

Artist 万葉皆秋 on Xiaohongshu and Douyin

I’m sure you can learn about Sun Wukong from more qualified people than me, but some shameless self-promo:

My Ne Zha post

My Erlang Shen post

My Investiture of the Gods post

I recommend either reading all 3 of these, or at least the first two, or doing some research into these myths before you can understand the power of the Heaven Haters boy band.

Keep in mind the Heaven Haters boy band is mostly headcanons and memes. While these three characters do all rebel against heaven, they all ultimately concede defeat to ultimate authority: Wukong gets properly humbled by the Buddha and the monk Tangsen (Read JTTW to know who Tangsen is), Erlang Shen and Ne Zha eventually become the Heavenly Court’s special ops squad.

Heaven Haters boy band is still funny though, and they genuinely do all hold resentment for heaven. 

I’ll make clear how and why the various members of the Heaven Haters boy band rebel against heaven.

Sun Wukong:

This is fairly obvious. His most famous story is literally called Havoc in Heaven 大闹天宫 (or more literally, Tantrum in Heaven)

He was literally born with Rebellion as his middle name. First thing he does upon gaining power is rampaging his entire way through the East China Sea Dragon King’s entire palace for fancy weapons. (This, by the way, is Ao Guang, Ao Bing’s dad.)

Then he goes and smashes up the heavenly palace. Then he literally FIGHTS HIS WAY THROUGH HELL and erases his name off the list of the dead. Soloed 100,000 of the Heavenly Court’s soldiers and won (actually I don't remember if this was in the original JTTW or if it's a plot point from a recent movie adaptation, but either way it's a pretty well-known part of his story).

Erlang Shen:

This seems subtler since he works for the Heavenly Court, and his uncle is the Jade Emperor, the head honcho. However, he still disobeyed the direct Heavenly Mandate to trap his mom under a mountain, and he split the mountain in half to save her.

Erlang is more of the cold, calculated type- if you offend him or try to fuck him over, he’ll ruin your life, but otherwise he couldn’t be bothered. In fact, even though he helps the Heavenly Court, he only does so for big opponents like Wukong- day-to-day tasks that his position requires, he totally ignores.

His uncle struggles to control him, and has resigned himself to just letting Erlang Shen do whatever the fuck he wants.

Ne Zha:

Although Ne Zha isn’t as strong as the other two, he’s still one of the strongest in the entire Heavenly Court. He’s the type to throw hands first and talk later. He’s more obedient to the Heavenly Court than Erlang or Wukong, but he’s probably actually done the worst thing out of the three of them: try to commit patricide.

This is a HUGE no-no in Chinese culture, which prioritises filial piety over almost everything else. Erlang Shen splitting the mountain in half to save his mother (and directly disobeying Heaven) isn’t as bad as Ne Zha trying to kill his dad.

I’m not going to blame him, since Li Jing is a bit of a dick, but if Li Jing didn’t have that powerful pagoda the Buddha gave him, Ne Zha would set him on fire in a heartbeat.

In battle, Erlang is what you would call a homing missile, Wukong is a tactical nuke, and Ne Zha is a bunch of cluster bombs. Erlang is precise and deadly, Wukong is… Wukong, and Ne Zha does not discriminate in who he wants to beat up. Surprisingly, out of these three, even though Wukong is the one famous for throwing a huge tantrum, he’s probably the most reasonable and gentle one.

Let me put it this way: would you rather deal with a murderous iPad kid on (actually) flaming Hot Wheels roller skates who punches first and asks questions later, a sadistic royal warrior who can split you open from inside (NOT THAT WAY, get your heads out of the gutter),

Or a feral monkey that you can placate just by calling him a bunch of fancy nicknames?

I'll just say that neither Ne Zha nor Erlang Shen would be tricked into putting on a cursed set of clothes to control them. I'd MUCH rather deal with Wukong as an enemy. Worst case scenario I die painfully anyway, so I'd like to at least have a chance to pull out the fancy nicknames and appease him.

See, this is the reason they sent Wukong to go on the Journey to the West and not Ne Zha or Erlang. I don’t think they would’ve made it two steps on the way before the other two beat Tangsen to death just for looking at them the wrong way. 

Also another thing that’s funny is their names technically line up.

Sun Wukong’s title: Qitian Dasheng 齐天大圣 Great Sage Equal to Heaven

Erlang Shen’s title: 二郎神 Godly Second Son

Ne Zha’s title: 哪吒三太子 Ne Zha the Third Prince

So… 大圣二郎三太子... Great Sage, Second Son, Third Prince. 

This is funny because this is the reverse order of their ages. Ne Zha is the oldest, Erlang is the second oldest, and Wukong is the youngest.

Also funny is that Erlang and Wukong are the strongest and Ne Zha is weaker despite being younger. Not much you can do against Monkey King hacks.

It’s debatable who’s stronger between Wukong and Erlang. Technically it’s Erlang- he’s beaten Wukong before, albeit with help and while Wukong was trying to protect others. 

Between the three strongest mythological characters (in popular culture, there are others stronger), their stats are:

11 eyes

10 arms

0 parents

10 billion various side characters killed

If you recall, Wukong was born out of a rock. Ne Zha’s mom is probably dead by now. He also already has “returned his flesh and bones to his parents” by cutting himself apart and committing suicide for his dad, so technically he and Li Jing aren’t father and son anymore. I actually don’t know if Erlang’s mom is still alive but his dad is definitely dead.

There’s a funny saying in Chinese: 一块石头两斤藕，三只眼睛栓条狗

One rock, two lotus roots, three eyes and a dog. 

That’s all it takes to make the Heavenly Court shiver in fear LMAO. Basically the equivalent of a toddler, a monkey and a Californian dog dad. 

In essence, I stan the Heaven Haters boy band more than any other K-pop group, sorry Stray Kids. I'm not going to lie though, Erlang Shen is definitely a smash. Ne Zha... IDK, not exactly my type (unless its the recent Jiaozi movie Ne Zha). Wukong is a monkey but I can definitely see the appeal for some people I guess.

Keep in mind for the Wukong simps that in most adaptations, since he is... well, a monkey, he speaks with the Chinese equivalent of a heavy Cockney accent. Do with that what you will.

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Australian military aircraft entering Chinese airspace without permission: cool and normal

Australia conducting joint military exercises with the US (a distant country) in the South China Sea: cool and normal

China, conducting a military exercise in international waters between Australia and New Zealand, after issuing multiple safety notices: unacceptable and a danger to the airlines (which it warned in advance)

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Getting a wee bit tired of how on every fic I write in which I hold the people who coveted a Silmaril accountable, people comment about how Fëanor was also obsessed with the Silmarils and chose them over his sons. Like, my good dude (gender neutral), Fëanor's grown-ass sons swore the oath of their own volition. They felt just as strongly as Fëanor about the murder of Finwë, and about the Valar's role in that.

Imagine that.

Furthermore, Fëanor was not "obsessed with the Silmarils," and that's actually a pretty funny thing to claim given that it was everyone else who felt entitled to his creations. Fëanor was angry because the Valar felt his creations should be on public display, and they got offended when he didn't agree. Fëanor was angry because after that, one of the Valar's own murdered his father to steal those very creations. His father who "was dearer to him than the Light of Valinor or the peerless works of his hands."

That is in the book, if you take the time to read it, by the way. It's canon.

Fëanor is a delightfully flawed character and I love him for it. But if you're going to criticize him for his flaws then at least criticize him for flaws he actually has and not ones you just made up or based off of fanon, for the love of fuck.

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

the biggest reason i’ll always understand Alicent and support her (book Alicent because show Alicent wants nothing but to frolic in the forest or whatever) is that if I were married to a King i’d want my son to be King after him. that is literally the only reason anyone would marry their daughters to Viserys and Viserys knew that which is why he didn’t make it clear until after he married Alicent that Rhaenyra would remain heir. if I was married to a King and denied the one thing that should be guaranteed, that my son who is his firstborn son will be King afterwards I too would make it an issue based on the disrespect to me and mine alone. this goes for Rhaenyra i’ll always understand and sympathize with her, she was promised the throne from a young age and she wants it, I may be critical of her but you’ll never catch me saying i don’t think she should’ve fought for the throne because I understand why she would, just like i understand why Alicent would and I don’t think either one is more morally superior/corrupt because at the end of the day they are both fighting for power.

the show keeps trying to make them out to be more noble than they are but it really is just that simple, there didn’t need to be a prophecy or a misunderstanding. Alicent wanted her son to be King because she feels that is what she and him are owed and she wants to keep the power she gained as Viserys wife. Rhaenyra wants the throne as she feels it is what she is owed after being told by her father she would have it. even with Rhaenyra and Alicents friendship i don’t think there was a need to complicate it more than that.