imjustalibra

[imjustalibra]

June 26, 2025 12:25am

While I lay here

Tears like the Dead Sea burning my eyes,

Asking myself what I did wrong,

The logical part of my brain knows it’s the mood stabilizer fully worn off for the day.

[imjustalibra]

Goodnight my love. I hope tomorrow treats you kindly.

I want to text you but I’ll refrain from it.

Just know I miss you. Not just today, everyday. But today was a little harder than usual.

[imjustalibra]

Pomegranates with Marble Statue from Artashat, Rubik Qocharian

[imjustalibra]

Sur les ailes du rêve by Consuelo Fould (French, 1862--1927)

[imjustalibra]

I want to text you but I’ll refrain from it.

Just know I miss you. Not just today, everyday. But today was a little harder than usual.

[imjustalibra]

cleo's garden

[imjustalibra]

Mark Beck

[imjustalibra]

It still feels so dramatic to disappear the way I did. But on the other hand I couldn’t have let myself spiral publicly. I’m so back and forth with everything. So I do nothing. And it’s making me sick.

[imjustalibra]

The Princess Out of School, 1901

Edward Robert Hughes

[imjustalibra]

Nadia Waheed (Pakistani, 1992) - Dream Mythology I (2025)

[imjustalibra]

i still think about him.

so often it sickens me.

not always in full color,

not always in full sound—

but even the faintest ghost of him

is enough to drown a day.

i’ll be laughing,

moving,

working,

living—

and there he is,

sneaking through the cracks,

some vague flicker of memory

that somehow takes over everything.

i think of him

every single day.

once,

twice,

ten times,

always when i don’t want to.

always when i’m trying

to be okay.

and what kills me most

is knowing

he probably hasn’t thought of me once

in eight days.

eight days since

he told me he had to “evaluate his life”—

like i was a task on a to-do list

he could check off and forget.

eight days

since i started counting

a forever

without him in it.

it feels like i’ve lived a lifetime

in this silence.

a lifetime

between the last “i love you”

and the sharp, cold edge of

realizing every word

might’ve been a lie.

i keep trying

to hold onto the shape of his face

before it fades in my mind,

and at the same time,

i scream inside

for the chance to forget him altogether.

he lives in my thoughts

while i rot in his absence.

and i know,

deep down—

i may never see him again.

never hear his voice.

never know if he thinks

of me.

there’s a void now.

wide and cruel.

where he once lived

and never planned

to stay.

[imjustalibra]

Sylvia Plath, aged 17, journal entry #28, from "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" (c. September 1950)

[imjustalibra]

June 26, 2025 12:03am

And all I ever wanted was to sit in your storm with you,

Not to help,

(although I always offered it if you did need it)

but so you won’t be alone in it.

[imjustalibra]

June 25, 2025 11:55pm

I fear I’m forever changed.

I cringe at love now.

My mom talks about her Love,

My friends talk about their Love,

It feels like a slap in the face from the universe.

I roll my eyes,

And thank the universe for rubbing it in.

I just want My Love back.

Will you ever come back?

You said you’d come back?

[imjustalibra]

The Ecstasy of Saint Francis (c.1595) by Caravaggio

[imjustalibra]

[imjustalibra]

14 June 1926 Letters to Véra by Vladimir Nabokov