immanentdecay

[immanentdecay]

Works in progress (the vast majority are simply scraps of notes): sci-fi story: A sci-fiction book and supporting literature that looks at parallels between homo-social bonding in groups of majority straight men aswell as the relationship between autism, authority and feelings of disgust. very horny. It will be an audio book as its worked on communist's digest: a weekly review of publications being made by left-wing organisations around the world with outlines of what is being said and links to the original article. Maybe a combined process of laungage learning and soldarity building that could lead into being able to offer translations of works. idk. Emma's life: I wait for a paticularly miserable week in my life to come up where im going to make a mess of myself and do stupid things. I ask a friend to follow me around with a camera aswell as wearing a gopro or something, my life spirals out of control and then it gets really over the top editing like on screen graphics to indicate how sad i am and stuff, the self-hating rants are set to music Re-reading david graeber's dawn of everything and going through it source by source to discuss how well the source supports his argument and possible other interpretations. Because that book tore my world with how insightful it was and i owe it that level of due care. I wanna make a doom metal album with a CNC BDSM scene going on in the background I wanna make a video essay about the role of british nationalism in new who and the links of that with new labour.

[immanentdecay]

Works in progress (the vast majority are simply scraps of notes): sci-fi story: A sci-fiction book and supporting literature that looks at parallels between homo-social bonding in groups of majority straight men aswell as the relationship between autism, authority and feelings of disgust. very horny. It will be an audio book as its worked on communist's digest: a weekly review of publications being made by left-wing organisations around the world with outlines of what is being said and links to the original article. Maybe a combined process of laungage learning and soldarity building that could lead into being able to offer translations of works. idk. Emma's life: I wait for a paticularly miserable week in my life to come up where im going to make a mess of myself and do stupid things. I ask a friend to follow me around with a camera aswell as wearing a gopro or something, my life spirals out of control and then it gets really over the top editing like on screen graphics to indicate how sad i am and stuff, the self-hating rants are set to music Re-reading david graeber's dawn of everything and going through it source by source to discuss how well the source supports his argument and possible other interpretations. Because that book tore my world with how insightful it was and i owe it that level of due care. I wanna make a doom metal album with a CNC BDSM scene going on in the background I wanna make a video essay about the role of british nationalism in new who and the links of that with new labour.

[immanentdecay]

Like what are the film's themes? Yes it's about relationships: undeniable. absolutely. But it opens with a scene of their passports, followed by a scene of them having sex, followed by a collection of scenes establishing the waterfall and their being lost and then immediately we see them both at work and they frequently return to work, about 30% of the scenes take place in a workplace. The only other major character is Lai's coworker. What is this film concerned with then? Sex/relationship, nationality and work. And more than that! so desperately more than that! Lai only works alongside other Chinese people whilst Ho performs his sex work for Europeans. The film is about how nationality and work operate through each other and in doing so function to control the possible terrains relationships can take. Ho and Lain are driven back to each other repeatedly because they are of the same nationality in a foreign country where nationality constitutes one of the axises along which people gain access to employment. Ho acts out far more than Lai does, he demonstrates far more emotional volatility and it is reasonable to suspect that this emotional volatility is easier read for what it is amongst people of his own cultures who have the same understanding of what it looks like. Ho simply could not work alongside the Chinese rich located in Argentina., He would lack the cultural barrier between himself and his clients: work would become as emotionally violent an affair as his relationship is. So he is driven constantly into material hardship and needs taking care of! This mirrors an emotional need that he is struggling to work through. Definitely Ho experiences issues with feelings of abandonment and needs to drag people into his circle but he cannot begin to work upon that when if there aren't people in his circle he will perish and the ways of constructing new circles are so constrained by this double bind of nationality and mental illness he finds himself in. Ho does a lot of things he shouldn't do throughout the movie definitely. But a lot of people come out of it reproaching him as though he were a piece of shit and while yes his series of lapses constitutes a pattern and a controlling one at that he is in a society where economics itself functions as a system of intense control - control so intense even perfect self-control from him would not be sufficient to withstand its corrosive effects. Those who see his lapses as who he is fail to accept him. The reality is we cannot see who Ho is, not just because the movie pays far less attention to his inner life, but because his material conditions overdetermine his existence in a way that Lai's simply do not. There is no occasion where the human Ho might strike through triumphantly declaring his integrity, he is overwhelmed from the moment he steps on the scene. And if you don't love him for that and see the vulnerability in it then you don't understand Lai either and you should probably stop speaking on his behalf. it's not just about relationships or people being stupid and getting together when they should be apart, its about how sometimes keeping your best friend alive means doing the emotionally unhealthy thing and throwing the glass at the wall. 

I did what we all must strive never to do. I looked up one of my faveourite movies, Happy Together (1997) by Wong Kar-wai, on youtube to see what other people were saying about it. I made it 4 minutes into the first video. They contended that it was a narration on the nature of toxic love - fine - and that the two were unable to see how damaging their love was so that while it was extremely intense love it was met in equal parts by destructiveness. Obviously everything about this from the fine onwards is not definitively not fine. Both characters readily see how intolerable their affection for one another is, they try to leave each other, Lai says that he wishes he never met Ho, the film is permeated by them acknowledging how awful their relationship - it is simply not a narrow mediation on the difficulty of self-knowledge and knowledge in relationships. This youtuber says that while Lai is working, Ho is just getting drunk and having sex. I don't know if this person just despises sex workers or genuinely didnt realise Ho was engaging in sex work. They don't get back together because they want to, they get back together because they are constantly drawn into each other's orbits by material circumstances. When Ho is beaten he is beaten by a white Frenchman who is essentially his boss and he is beaten for the act of theft; none of that appears in what this youtuber had to say. When Ho goes back to Lai after this beating, definitely, there are emotional reasons he does so but it is also readily apparent he has no other options. Lai's choice here isn't between starting a relationship again or not, it's between successfully ending a relationship he hates or abandoning someone he once loved to likely death in a city where no one knows him and he hardly speaks the language. Like on the wikipedia article there’s someone who baulks at the idea its a queer movie because Lai is rewarded for his "hard-work", lack of engaging in sex work, desire to return to his family and nation, and is generally frugal throughout the entire thing and so its him that gets to go back to the hong kong. And like that does happen, undeniably, but it's also kinda likely to be the thing that happens in real life? Ho is clearly mentally unstable in a way that Lai isn't - the stealing of the watch demonstrates this, he lets his guilt control him to the extent of a decisive choice that hurts both of them directly and like, he's successfully doing sexwork. I refuse to believe he's just a naive idiot. It's definitely possible that the director etc intended their outcomes to be punishment but also they're just... accurate because this world wants to punish gay men. That's why the claustrophobia is so important, they actually are trapped with each other, no matter how open and wide the world is, the actual space they have to move in is miniscule.

[immanentdecay]

Antenna rapidly expand and contract as the hivemind renews its attempts to connect and dominate. Looking up from his now rather absent-minded licking Shitarm leaps off the impregnated body. He’s theirs now. Running deeper into the tunnel leaves behind a trail of blood and half developed eggs Becoming conscious for the second time today Fuckjaw found himself in immense pain as the eggs buried themselves inside his anal tissue and pushed their way up to his lower intestine. The gene-therapy and rigorous diet designed to make defecation a rapid procedure meant that whenever infesting a marine the eggs were denied their usual first meal of human shit. When Shitarm had pregnated Fuckjaw he had barely even begun conversion to bugdom no matter what the surface level horror of his body might have suggested. any geneticist would actually have found it quite difficult to establish where the difference was occurring. And so Shitarm had only utilised a primitive human uniphaseal insemination sequence (many freshly converted bugs celebrated their weddings with the official “pump and dump”). This method Lacks the initial food load meant to precede the injection of the eggs that was routine for the bug species. The eggs in response to this immediate nutritional distress ripped apart any tissue they could find, rapidly expanding the radius of Fuckjaw’s anus by atleast 2 binches (bug-inches). The pain was immense and Fuckjaw had no idea how to go about alleviating it. Shoving his hand in seemed to help

[immanentdecay]

“WAKE UP, WAKE UP THIS IS A DRILL, I REPEAT THIS IS A DRILL” the 2am drill alarm rang out through the barracks. “I guess it’s drill time” thought Fuckjaw to himself as he rubbed his eyes and slowly swung his legs around so they hung off the bed. “I love drill time” he murmured to himself. “I know you do” came the voice from the bottom bunk, that was Shitarm and Fuckjaw would’ve done anything he could to have been waking up in the same bunk as him, but the rule was one marine per bunk and if Fuckjaw liked anything more than cuddling marines he liked rules. Tragically the rule was part of a larger collection of regulations, guidelines and dictates known as the parameter protocols designed to prevent any affection getting out of hand. “Do you feel we talk too much?” Asked Shitarm as they put their armour on, the alarm blaring constantly. “Well you definitely do” Fuckjaw responded, gently helping him place his helmet on. They weren’t allowed real power armour for training, the barracks coup near the start of the war had made sure of that, and the pliability of the far weaker plastic made it possible to feel the hole in the back of Shitarm's skull where a bug had skewered him last year. Both of them sunk their shoulders in a despondent recognition, but they had agreed not to talk about it. The rest of the room was going about much the same. The armour, even its weaker version, was too cumbersome to put on alone. Formally the protocols insisted no one help another put on his equipment, but you try to find room in the budget to put an armour-equipper in every bedroom.

[immanentdecay]

Works in progress (the vast majority are simply scraps of notes): sci-fi story: A sci-fiction book and supporting literature that looks at parallels between homo-social bonding in groups of majority straight men aswell as the relationship between autism, authority and feelings of disgust. very horny. It will be an audio book as its worked on communist's digest: a weekly review of publications being made by left-wing organisations around the world with outlines of what is being said and links to the original article. Maybe a combined process of laungage learning and soldarity building that could lead into being able to offer translations of works. idk. Emma's life: I wait for a paticularly miserable week in my life to come up where im going to make a mess of myself and do stupid things. I ask a friend to follow me around with a camera aswell as wearing a gopro or something, my life spirals out of control and then it gets really over the top editing like on screen graphics to indicate how sad i am and stuff, the self-hating rants are set to music Re-reading david graeber's dawn of everything and going through it source by source to discuss how well the source supports his argument and possible other interpretations. Because that book tore my world with how insightful it was and i owe it that level of due care. Movie review of happy together 1997, more of these to come I wanna make a doom metal album with a CNC BDSM scene going on in the background I wanna make a video essay about the role of british nationalism in new who and the links of that with new labour.

[immanentdecay]

I intend to construct a life in which I am regularly constructing materials that, although they would never dare to admit it, may find themselves from time to time aspiring to understand themselves as art. This is where those materials will end up and where I will tell you how you can support the continuing of the lifestyle that births them. Emma/Bug/Purp