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"is this truly the limits of your resolve?" is an all time thing to ask your rival when they're on the brink of defeat

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Out of the blue my mother decided we should all learn to play poker, so maybe now I can finally learn to lie. And then……

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snuppy study vs snuppy itself

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every now and then I am reminded to my great chagrin that my mother is funnier than I am

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Population density of the contiguous United States

by Pecners/reddit

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a girl who is a noir detective man and a guy who is a femme fatale

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Crazy how some people on here acknowledge there’s a conservative anti-intellectualism backlash moment right now that’s attacking higher education, but then they’ll reblog posts like “yes of course college is a scam and degrees are meaningless and the very idea of expertise is elitist and people should be able to cheat with AI.” And then they obliviously reblog the Garfield “you’re not immune to propaganda” post

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My oc Clippy!!

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very tiny animals fill me w both love & anxiety

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Everyone on Earth needs to see this. It's vital.

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[bolts across your dash full speed while naked and covered in grass stains, smears of wet dirt, and evidently someone else's blood]

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Look up pictures of swedish vallhund they’re very cute

omg…. hello puppy!!!

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Drink water! Hydrate! Consume fluids! And if you're not too busy drinking all that water, maybe you should take a break to drink some other water. Look, folks. We're all sick and tired of what Big Hydration has been trying to push on us over the last few years. Sure, it's been great pissing so clear that the toilet ends up cleaner than it did before you used it, but enough is enough.

Last week, my cousin Ontario in Ontario drank what we figure was about 27 litres of water. He's a little dude, so the ratio of body weight to dihydrogen monoxide was pretty fucked up.

Why did he do it? He bought one of those fancy new computer-based bottles, the ones who remind you to drink every hour. And then he went to his job on the border. Thing must have gotten confused with the time zones, is what the nice dude at Geek Squad Hospital Services figured happened. He'll live, but they're not sure he'll ever be able to drink something normal like an entire bottle of Costco bottom-shelf utility whisky ever again.

It's not just my cousin, either. I was heading to the office, and some lady on the train noticed that I had one of my hands empty (the other one was holding onto two phones, where I was having a Zoom conference with myself in order to boost my EmployeeScore®.) She determined that my hands could be holding onto a water bottle instead. Peak neck-wetting moments were being lost. Called a cop. The cop came over and tried to force a Stanley cup on me. I told him that we don't let those things come to Canada anymore (little hockey joke there.) He beat me with it until I agreed to take a sip.

I don't know where all this ends, folks. I heard the Coca-Cola company has shifted all their R&D spending into trying to find a free moment in our mouths in which to insert their product. That's the whole idea behind those Sleep Cokes you shove in your CPAP machine. All I know is that I can't stop drinking, and it's going to drive me to drink.

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~ Undark, 1921

“Does Undark really contain radium? Most assuredly."

Undark was produced by the US Radium Corporation and was the product used by the "Radium Girls" to paint the dials of wristwatches. It also caused many of them to die painful deaths with the full knowledge of the Corporation.

More about the Radium Girls and the corrupt US Radium Corporation found here* and of course in Kate Moore's book The Radium Girls.

*warning for one historic picture of the effects of radium and a lot of descriptions of an evil corporation being evil

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Please send your congratulations to FROG BUCKET HAT, EXQUISITE CORPSE, COQUETTISH LITTLE FASCINATOR, and THE SNOWBALL for moving on to the semifinals! And send your condolences to "How's Your Southern Belle," His and Hers Yuppies, The "Yes Chef," and The Indy, they all had a damn good run.