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You are not the one who got away, instead I blindly pushed you away. My words were false promises & my actions were devil sent. I admit i did wrong by you. But please havenāt you got a clue ? There is no innocent party in the midst of this destruction. I was incoherently drunk & you touched parts of me. I canāt recall my traumas but my body can. That��s the simple & god honest truth. āš½
But Iāll take the blame for this downfall. Even in this chaotic dismantling wreckage I swear by our Heavenly Father I wish you peace, health & love. I miss you every day but will never disrupt your life.
God give me strength. Help me right my wrongs. I pray In Jesus Name,
AMEN šš½
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here we see ellie wearing a yellow shirt on top of a striped orange one
aster mentions ellie is wearing pants
aster is wearing ELLIES SHIRTĀ and ellie is no longer wearing pants
gay gay gay gay gay
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āI always thought that there was one way to love. One right way.Ā But there are more. So many more than I knew.Ā And I never want to be the guy who stops loving someoneĀ for loving the way that they want to love.āĀ The Half of It (2020)
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Iām in actual tears.
Iāve been thinking about The Half Of It all weekend (the trailer of which just started randomly playing when I logged into Netflix on Friday and I was curious enough to give it a shot and have no regrets) and when I was gushing to my brother about it earlier, I realized why I love it so much:
See, setting up the wholeĀ ānerdy girl helps jock boy get popular girlā cliche and then throwing in the twist thatĀ ānerdy girl loves popular girl tooā is fantastic, every part of the queer storyline was beautiful, the opening monologue and how it was a direct parallel to the water scene, the painting metaphors, the jean jacket, the cliche religious hick small-town that could have been mine, the fact that they literally showed a mountain and prompted me to spend a whole day making a Landslide AMV (cough), the secret looks they give each other throughout the movie, that final kiss and the promise of something more in the future, all wonderful, beautiful, NEEDEDā¦
But none of that compares to the amazing love story that happened between Paul and Ellie. These two going from being rivals to being tentative friends to having a genuine love for each other that confuses Paul because heās a teenager in a small-town and, letās face it, he probably only learnedĀ āyou either feel a casual friendship with this person or you feel horny afā because thatās the binary they teach in these small town high schools, so it makes sense that he looks all sorts of confused when he realizes how much he likes her, and you can tell that heās still confused, even as he goes to kiss her, then she immediately pushes him away which adds to even more confusion, then he realizes that sheās queer, which goes against every bit of small-town-religious-hick lesson that he had ever learned. So, he lashes out at her and he runs away and I do wish he had been supportive all along but then we wouldnāt get the scene in the kitchen so it was honestly worth it becauseā¦
The scene in the kitchen. When Ellieās father is reminiscing about his own familial love towards his daughter and he asks,Ā āHave you ever loved someone so much you donāt want anything about her to change?ā and you just see Paulās reaction, just look at this:
That is someone who just realized what platonic love is!
Not only that, he realized that his platonic love for Ellie is so strong that he is willing to accept her, no matter what, and help her, no matter what, and love her, no matter what. Not a romantic love, not a familial love, but a pure, genuine, deep, platonic love between a boy and a girl! WHAT A CONCEPT!
Then, of course, he stands up for her, literally, in church. He does so without outing her and, just a note, he never outs her to her father, even when her father begs him to say why Ellie is so upset, Paul never outs her and I know, I know, people shouldnāt usually get props for not being jerks, but seeing as how every other guy in that school is that stereotypical hick/jock, the fact that heās able to subconsciously keep her secret shows how deep his love is, even when he doesnāt even realize it.
Then, of course, you have him crying on the platform and chasing the train to show her how much he loves her, to make her laugh and cry and whisper,Ā āMoron!ā and you know that, whatever the future holds for Ellie and Aster, thatās nothing compared to the love and support that Ellie will always get from Paul and thatās nothing compared to the love and support I have for this movie, itās so good, you need to watch itā¦
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Aster tucking her hair behind her ear when sheās around Ellie
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So I decided to make some screenplayed scenes from The Half Of It
āIām Ellie Chuā
For some reason Tumblr doesnāt let me post the other scenes, can anybody help me PLEASE
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āGravity is matterās response to loneliness.ā
āWho said that?ā
āI donāt know...ā
āThen you said it.ā
The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu
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āIāll see you in a couple of years!ā
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