imperialgoogie

[imperialgoogie]

You know, I'm not sure I want to know what's going on here.

The Seven-Up Co, 1962

[imperialgoogie]

Are you washing your car the modern way? You may be missing out on that F O O T D E E P shine. What would the neighbours think if they knew?

[imperialgoogie]

I'm not so sure about this idea, it stinks.

[imperialgoogie]

I know what you're thinking, and no, that is not the intended purpose.

[imperialgoogie]

If Mother has been working all night to prepare four bowls of Weet-Bix, then I have some rather pertinent questions to ask about her Valium intake.

Still, I can't deny that Weet-Bix and cold milk is an exceedingly good way to start a hot, humid summer's day down here.

[imperialgoogie]

Do you know why? He was hoping you could tell him, he's been doing it for years and nobody ever stopped to explain it to him.

[imperialgoogie]

Oh yes, the clock is most definitely ticking for Packard, but not for the reasons they think.

[imperialgoogie]

And you thought the age of innovations was over.

[imperialgoogie]

Drink hot chocolate with twelve of your closest friends, and you've got a Baker's dozen. Ha ha ha…

[imperialgoogie]

A rump roast? A rooster? A damn good rogering? This could take days to figure out.

[imperialgoogie]

And if you want to do some illegal late-night street racing, they're perfect for that, too.

[imperialgoogie]

Surely you're not still making toast with last year's model?

[imperialgoogie]

Designed and built to last exactly 25 years, and not an hour longer. Enjoy your asbestos!

[imperialgoogie]

The ad said oranges have meat, but did I get some strange looks from the party guests when I threw some on the barbecue last weekend...

[imperialgoogie]

Of course, why limit yourself to just bleach? Store a month's worth of bourbon in there instead. It won't do a damn thing to help clean your clothes, but boy, they'll smell great!

[imperialgoogie]

Let the nightmares begin!

[imperialgoogie]

Dad loaded the fallout shelter with canned soup because he was convinced the Russians were about to attack. Now it's soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every f—ing day for the next twenty years. We're having it a lot more than once a day every day, and we're not enjoying it.