impossiblekittydelusion - Tumblr blog

[impossiblekittydelusion]

the thing about working as a housekeeper is that sometimes I will be called to clean a room that is in such a state that it gives me pause.

The thing about being a housekeeper at a Hospital is that it is not the things that would usually be concerning that leave me with questions.

Like if I go clean a room and it is just covered in blood, I'm not all "where did all this blood come from" that would be silly. It came from inside the patient and they were already in a hospital so they're probably mostly fine hopefully.

In fact "Inside the patient" is where most of the potentially concerning stuff I have to deal with comes from. Vomit? That's from inside the patient. Urine? Feces? Inside the patient baby. Needles full of unidentified drugs? That was supposed to go inside the patient but I guess they frogot.

But when I go to clean a hospital room and it is full of Sand... Did that come from inside the patient? I hope not. Why is there so much sand? Where did it come from? Was there some kind of terrible beach accident?

I have many questions and I'm scared of the answers.

[impossiblekittydelusion]

Cat PSA

As your cat gets older check on their nails even if they never needed trimming before. Our old cat stopped doing whatever he had been doing to keep them short himself and we didnt notice until one grew into his paw pad. It was a truly not fun experience for all of us when we had to trim it to get it out. It took us two people and nearly 30 minutes to successfully cut it.

[impossiblekittydelusion]

"alfred is the only normal one" "alfred holds the single braincell" "alfred can do no wrong" alfred Thaddeus crane pennyworth is an ex-spy with a bastard child who got a job as a butler after his failed acting career who for some reason agreed to adopt his dead employers traumatized son before spending the rest of his life enabling the most insane fucking behavior ever exhibited by human beings.

[impossiblekittydelusion]

I love how everyone's choice of logans totally normal person job post movie is a construction worker

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wilson voice crack landing exactly in "friendship". i'm in pain. :^^))

[impossiblekittydelusion]

Logan buying Wade small things that makes logan think of him through out the day.

Going to the corner store for some milk and seeing some cheap, cheesy, little unicorn Keychain and grabbing it because he's? Pretty sure? Wade likes them. He has the plush and all so. Yeah, no, he totally likes them... so he'll like this silly thing too. Obviously.

Except he doesn't hand it to Wade directly, he's dropping it unceremoniously onto the mess that is his nightstand for him to find later. God knows if it'll ever be seen again.

[impossiblekittydelusion]

Wade calling Logan a honey badger is so funny to me

Cause In real life honey badges;

.fight everything

.steal food of jaguars and get mad when they spot them

.bite animals in the balls

.steal honey while getting stung because they just don’t care

.and seem to live through fucking everything

…

All im saying is wade 100% knows what honey badgers and like and is doing it on purpose

[impossiblekittydelusion]

I love the general consensus that Logan is a grumpy cat Wade pulled from a random.dumpster because it is such a good analogy.

Logan acts a lot like a cat and we all agree on that but the comparison between his universe and a dumpster is just *mwah* chef's kiss.

In his universe, Logan is at the bottom of society, a fallen hero ostracised by the people he used to protect (dumpster) and then one day Wade came and took him away, rescued him from the things that were opressing him. In this universe there is nobody that will call him a friend killer or make him responsible for the death of the X-Men because jere it didn't happen.

Of course it's a bit of a mind fuck but Holy shit. Logan's just been handed an entirely new chance at life...

[impossiblekittydelusion]

wyd when your daughter and her fuckass polycule shows up at your doorstep

[impossiblekittydelusion]

Silly AU idea

You know what would be funny if someone could re create that episode from supernatural where they get zapped to real life, (a French mistake I think it was called) and Deadpool and Wolverine are stuck in Ryan’s and Hugh’s bodies/lives 🤣 but of course Wade already knows all that exists and is just happy to be in an unscarred version of himself

[impossiblekittydelusion]

head canon that one day edwin is out of the office when a client walks in and charles is like "hi my partner isn't here right now but you can talk to me until he gets back"

and they are talking for a while and of course charles is talking about edwin and then the client asks how long they've been dating and charles is of course very confused because they aren't dating and the client is like "oh i just thought since you kept referring to him as your partner" and charles is like "yeah my buisness partner" and the client is awkwardly like "oh" and there is a very long awkward silence.

and then edwin walks in and charles is all like "hi edwin 🥰🥰" and now the client is even more confused

[impossiblekittydelusion]

Rugged choices

Logan stepped into the dusty secondhand clothing store, his eyes scanning the racks of well-worn shirts and faded jeans. The air inside was heavy with the familiar scent of old leather and aged fabric, the kind of smells that always put him at ease. Without hesitation, he made a beeline for the racks, already flipping through the clothes as if he had been here a hundred times before.

Wade, however, came to a sudden stop just inside the door, looking around in bewilderment, his arms thrown out wide in exaggerated confusion.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Wade exclaimed, his voice bouncing off the walls of the cramped store. “Logan, we just got handed a stack of TVA-cash the size of a small country’s GDP, and this is where you want to spend it? A secondhand store?”

Logan didn’t bother looking up from the rack of flannel shirts he was flipping through. He pulled one out, a red-and-black plaid that had clearly seen better days, and held it up, his nostrils flaring slightly as he sniffed the fabric.

“Don’t like the smell of new stuff,” Logan muttered, tossing the shirt over his arm. “Chemicals. Hurts my nose.”

Wade blinked, his brain working to process Logan’s explanation. Slowly, he nodded in acceptance, though his bewilderment was far from gone.

“Huh. Okay, that actually makes sense. Super senses and all.” Wade paused, then threw his arms out again in an exaggerated gesture. “But come on, man! You could be rocking designer leather jackets, limited edition jeans, silk boxers—the whole nine yards!”

Logan ignored him, already pulling another flannel shirt from the rack, this one in muted blue and green. He sniffed it, grunted his approval, and added it to the pile in his arms. It wasn’t long before the pile grew to include several more flannels in different colors, along with faded jeans and plain white undershirts.

Wade watched with a growing smirk as Logan’s choices all started to blend into a singular aesthetic.

“So we’re just committing fully to the lumberjack aesthetic, huh?” Wade teased, leaning on a nearby rack. “Maybe pick up an axe while we’re at it, chop some wood, live in the woods, grow an even bigger beard. Real 'I’m-going-off-the-grid' vibes.”

Logan stopped rifling through the clothes just long enough to glare at Wade, his patience visibly thinning.

“Better than prancing around in pink Hello Kitty shirts and leggings two sizes too tight,” Logan shot back, his voice low and sharp as he pointed at Wade’s current outfit—a ridiculous hot pink Hello Kitty tee and a pair of black leggings that left nothing to the imagination.

Wade, ever the showman, grinned beneath his mask and struck a pose.

“Touché, Logan,” he said with a wink. “But I make this work. Not everyone can pull off this level of hotness.”

Logan rolled his eyes, grabbed his pile of clothes, and headed toward the checkout without another word. Wade followed close behind, still grinning like a kid who had just gotten away with something.

A little while later, they found themselves walking through the sunlit car dealership lot. Logan moved with the same deliberate focus he had shown in the clothing store, his eyes scanning the rows of cars with little interest. To him, they all seemed impractical, too flashy for his tastes.

Wade, on the other hand, was practically vibrating with excitement as he raced ahead, his eyes zeroing in on a sleek, cherry-red sports car parked under the sunlight. He darted toward it like a moth to a flame, throwing himself over the hood with a dramatic sigh.

“THIS ONE!” Wade shouted, running his hands over the smooth surface of the car. “This is it! The Wade-mobile! Look at her, Logan—pure power, pure speed. A sexy beast, just like me!”

Logan stood a few paces away, arms crossed, watching the scene unfold with mild disdain. He shook his head, his voice flat and unimpressed.

“You look like an idiot,” Logan said.

Without hesitation, he walked over and grabbed Wade by the back of his collar, yanking him off the car with a gruff grunt. Wade stumbled, barely managing to stay upright as Logan dragged him away, heading straight for the section of the lot where the used pickup trucks were parked.

“Come on, man, live a little!” Wade complained, rubbing the back of his neck as he followed Logan. “We’ve got all this cash, and you’re going for a pickup truck? You’re not a soccer mom.”

Logan’s eyes landed on an old, battered truck with faded paint and a few dings in the side. It looked sturdy, reliable—just the way he liked things. He opened the driver’s side door, inspecting the interior with a thoughtful grunt. The worn leather seats, the lack of fancy electronics—everything about it spoke to him.

“I don’t buy what I don’t need,” Logan said, running his hand over the dashboard. “This has enough room, no fancy electronics. Just how I like it.”

Wade looked utterly flabbergasted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“But… sports cars! Leather seats! Bluetooth everything! Cup holders that hold more cups than you could ever drink from!”

Logan gave him a flat look.

“This does the job. I’m not gonna buy something I’ll hate driving,” Logan said, his tone final.

Wade slumped against the truck, his head hanging in defeat.

“You’re like… an old man stuck in a body that’s technically old but still kinda jacked,” Wade muttered, sulking. “It’s such a waste. This truck screams 'I live in a cabin and don’t talk to people.'”

Logan ignored him and went into the building to buy the car. Wade waited outside, shooting the sports car longing looks. After a while his partner came back.

Logan climbed into the driver’s seat, his movements efficient and calm. The truck’s engine growled to life with a low, rumbling purr, and Logan smirked just a little as he looked over at Wade.

With a resigned sigh, Wade hopped into the passenger seat, his pink Hello Kitty shirt standing out like a sore thumb against the muted, rugged interior of the truck.

“You and your cabin-man aesthetic… Whatever,” Wade muttered, leaning back in his seat. “Just know, when I get my sports car, you’re driving behind me. And I’ll make sure it’s painted Wolverine yellow, just for you.”

Logan didn’t bother responding, but a small smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he pulled out of the lot, the old truck rumbling steadily beneath them. Wade, never one to be silent for long, leaned over conspiratorially.

“Next stop, Taco Bell? My treat,” Wade offered.

Logan remained silent, eyes on the road, but Wade took it as a yes.

“That’s the Logan I know and tolerate,” Wade said with a grin.

As they rumbled down the road in the beat-up old truck, Wade continued to chatter away about the missed opportunity of getting a sports car, but Logan was content. Simple, reliable—that’s all he needed. And maybe, just maybe, some peace and quiet.

But with Wade sitting beside him, that last part was a long shot.

[impossiblekittydelusion]

vice dot com I do not think that's legal

[impossiblekittydelusion]

*patiently waiting for Deadpool and Wolverine to come out on Disney+ so I can rewatch it this time with poolverine shipping goggles on*

[impossiblekittydelusion]

there is nothing gayer than being the worlds finest detective, except perhaps, being his partner and most trusted adviser

[impossiblekittydelusion]

I see so many people talk about how protective Logan is of Wade. And yeah, of the two, Wade seems like an easier target who would need protecting.

But Logan is a big softie deep down. Imagine someone says something to Logan that gets under his skin, bringing up how one good deed doesn't erase all the lives he ended and how he shouldn't be trusted or is undeserving of being an anchor being. And before Logan can do anything (before the person saying this can even finish their sentence) Wade has already jabbed baby knife into their chest and thrown them against the wall. As Wade is ripping his mask off, he explains in a calm, but offputing voice, how much they fucked up and unless they apologize the walls will have a new flesh color coat to them.

Kinda hot. Not gonna lie.

[impossiblekittydelusion]

for the record, here's the whole set: