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*person who does coffee enemas* I like my women like I like my coffee

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I need to admit something to the US Tumblrinas. Philadelphia isn't a place to me. It's a cream cheese. You say "philadelphia" or "philly" and I immediately, and exclusively, think of the cream cheese. "Twelve people die in Philadelphia disaster" wow that must've been a Molasses Flood style event

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[sees cool fanart but timeline immediately refreshes]

tch not like i cared or anything

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no the lab coat stays on during sex. there might be a chemical spill

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in breaking mr moustache news i just had to wrestle a D8 away from him because he was dead set on trying to crack it open like a nut

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pepsi for grandpa

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ubi, universal basic income

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it was nice seeing you at the devil's sacrament

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Shaun of the Dead (2004) dir. Edgar Wright

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can we please get a yuri blowjob soulslike

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Bipedal so fucking stupid. You look at a cat or a dog lying down and you're like "hell yeah that looks exactly right. that looks so comfortable." Human lies down and looks like Peter Griffin Death Pose.

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I love when I’m watching a tv show that’s supposed to show me something futuristic and sci fi and it’s just this stuff glued to something else

Like you can’t fool me. That’s my friend the tube. We are well acquanted

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She doesn't even comprehend the idea of credit card debt