improvewithme

[improvewithme]

Thoughts: Journaling

Hello world,

It's been a while. Been busy trying to organise my life, haha.

Today's post is on journaling.

I couldn't remember the last time I journaled. It was probably during my secondary school years. It was quite the trend among young girls. I remember exchanging journals/diaries with fellow girl friends - writing and decorating them. It was one of my favourite past times. But... Where have those journals gone to?

When I moved to Canada, most of these precious mementos were left behind. My father probably cleared the whole house and threw them away... (My poor Gameboy SP and several GameBoy cartridges were amongst the thrown items...).

It was not until I met my current boyfriend who encouraged me to adopt the habit of journaling again. He bought an entry-level fountain pen and a Midori book as a birthday present. And since then, I've written quite a bit and gone through roughly a third of the book.

I wrote about many things - most of them were jotting down random chaotic thoughts, things that happened during the day, important life lessons I've learned, etc.

As most of the things I wrote were messy and chaotic, I felt the extreme need to learn how to journal from others.

I've watched several videos on journaling - quite a number of them decorated their journals really beautifully. As a working doctor, I neither have the expenses to purchase colorful pens and washi tapes, nor the time to decorate my journal. I've seen several people creating a system for themselves when journaling (such as a short paragraph jotting the day events, things they've learned, etc).

My current journal entries are still quite messy and I'm still trying to find a system that best suits my style. I've been practicing using the fountain pen as well. My handwriting was absolutely horrendous the first few times I've used it. It's getting better, little by little! Hopefully I'll get better enough to start practicing calligraphy skills.

Extremely grateful for my boyfriend for re-introducing this hobby to me. Hopefully I'll be able to improve my writing as I continue journaling everyday.

Love,

Xi

[improvewithme]

[SPECIAL] Marriage

I just witnessed my best friend get married today.

It was such a beautiful and touching ceremony.

It was a traditional Indonesian-Chinese wedding held in a hotel in Indonesia. I remembered her telling me how grand it was supposed to be, with more than a thousand guests invited, however the pandemic hit and those plans were dashed.

Today, it was a much smaller ceremony with loved ones. Small, but still grand according to standards.

My best friend entered the hall in one of the most modest wedding gowns I've ever seen. It hugged her bodice, covered her upper limbs, all the way to her wrist, and to her neck. The amount of lace was incredible, and the light reflected off precious gems while she walked down the aisle. It was just like what I imagined her to wear on her wedding day. She is the embodiment of grace, elegance and modesty.

She has been waiting for this day for a year. When the pandemic hit, her fiancee and her had to postpone it because of all the sudden restrictions. I'm so glad she was able to proceed with the ceremony, albeit smaller than what she had imagined.

She cried minutes after she walked in. Her father had just given a touching speech, looking deep into the eyes of her fiance, asking him to cherish and take good care of his precious youngest daughter with God as the focus of their relationship.

How heart-warming and beautiful it is to hear such speeches from family members!

Soon the sermon started and the pastor spoke about the Lord, marriage, unity, and love.

As the sermon ends and multiple prayers were made to bless the newlywed couple, I cried at my best friend's happiness. Patience is virtue, patience is kind, patience is love. Both of them have waited so long for this moment.

They exchanged vows, heartfelt speeches to each other, exchanged wedding rings and sealed it all with a kiss.

The newlywed couple then approached their parents. They hugged and cried. I couldn't make out what they were saying on screen, all we could see were their mouths moving, and tears glistening in their eyes.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as well. It was with much sadness that I'm unable to attend the wedding in person due to many restrictions.

The Holy Matrimony ended after one last prayer and I pray that the newlywed couple embarks on this new journey with God by their side, blessing them with great success in the future.

Marriage is a holy and beautiful ceremony that celebrates the union of two separate people. It opens up new opportunities and gifts only beneficial for two.

After witnessing my best friend's holy matrimony, it makes me wonder when will my own marriage be...

Question is: Am I ready for marriage?

[improvewithme]

Reflections as a PGY1

It has been a very eventful year.

(A) I started work.

I learned how to work in the hospital. From making daily ward round entries/progress notes/correspondence notes, to knowing the correct numbers to call, to begging for scans, to making stupid or non-essential referrals that your consultants want simply because they don't know how to manage as it's not their specialty.

Basically I learned to do tasks that aren't taught in medical school.

There are many things I learned along the way, on the job. Every institution is different. Whenever you are posted to a new institution, you need to find out their clinical pathways, antibiotic guidelines, EOT (emergency operating theatre) protocol, phone numbers (this is incredibly important!), etc etc. I was fortunate enough to work in hospitals that use the same operating system, so I didn't have to learn the ropes on making new entries, or ordering medications or investigations all over again.

(B) I did numerous calls

Gosh, I could still remember the first call I did. I was a nervous wreck and had to escalate every single little thing to my senior. Apologies for the senior who's unable to sleep at night because of my frequent text messages.

Of course, I adapted quickly and learned to identify sick patients who needed to be escalated to a senior.

Prioritization is still a skill I need to master. I've come a long way from not being able to sleep on-call to being able to rest for at least 4 hours (however this really depends on whether you have a good call or not!).

With each call, I learned new tips and tricks to help me with my next call

I learned to collect cases, and see them all at one go to save time and energy from walking around the hospital.

I learned to set alarms to wake me up from a quick nap to trace results.

I learned to seize the opportunity to rest whenever I can. (I once took a nap at 8PM!). Nurses have their handovers to the overnight shift at 9PM, so that is the perfect time to have a brief respite!

I learned to anticipate when nurses would call me for abnormal vitals or sugars (Q4H vitals, CBG TDS+10).

That said, now that I'm turning PGY2, I won't be called for such things again. Unless the patient is extremely sick and nurses don't think a PGY1 is able to handle a patient. Does that mean I get more rest as a PGY2? Haha.

(C) I learned to work with other allied health professionals.

I am appalled when I learned that doctors used to do everything in the past. When I say, everything, I really do mean everything. From teaching exercises (physiotherapist), to assessing function (occupational therapist), to discharge planning (medical social worker, patient navigator), to assessing dysphagia (speech therapist), to meal planning (dietitian), to dressing change (nurses), to prescribing shoes (podiatrist).

Thank God we have allied health professionals who help ease the load of a doctor. I can't imagine how it was like to be a doctor in the past. Imagine all the skills and knowledge you need to learn to manage your patient! I don't mind learning about the role and responsibility of each allied health professional though. They would certainly help with patient care.

(D) Communication, communication, communication!

I can't stress how important it is to maintain good, working relationship, not only with your peers and senior doctors, but with all the other allied health professionals.

Be nice all the time, even to colleagues who are assholes.

You will not survive in medicine if you make enemies out of your colleagues. It's common sense, and is true for many, if not all, professions.

You do not work alone. In fact, you can't.

(E) Time Management

Even after working for a year, I still have trouble managing my time. It's not easy living alone, away from family.

It's tough having to settle my own meals. I don't eat much and cooking is too much of a hassle as I could have used the time for other tasks. However, this is just an excuse. Cooking is an essential skill. I need to put in the effort to make time and be efficient.

It has been really tough juggling many things in between work. Tasks include:

Studying: Medicine don't just stop after medical school!)

Spending time with boyfriend: We meet up once a week. It is, and always will be a time I look forward to every single week. We used to have long calls in the past but it's been tough since I started work.

Adulting: Paying bills, improving financial literacy, among other things

House chores: you can't run away from this, haha

Sleep: 'Cos I'm always sleep deprived

Devotion: The pandemic has affected many religions worldwide. In many places, services have to be taken online. It feels different worshiping at home as compared to being in the holy place, in person. It's hard coordinating a time to meet up with fellow church members for prayer or worship. I hope the pandemic passes soon so I can go back to church...

Hobbies: I used to play games and watch plenty of animes. But work has occupied such a big part of my life that I'm unable to enjoy my hobbies as much as I used to in the past.

I'm getting better at time management, but it definitely needs a lot of improvement. I need to learn from fellow doctors, especially surgeons - I wonder how they spend time with their family as they spend long hours at the hospital.

If any of you have any tips on time management, hit me up! I would love some suggestions!

Till next time.

Love,

Xi

[improvewithme]

Introduction

Hello world,

Here's a brief introduction to myself and why I started this blog.

I'm Xi, a doctor who just finished PGY1 (post-graduate year 1). It has been a long road coming - from being in medical school for 4 years, then becoming a junior doctor working in a tertiary hospital. PGY1 has been tough, not just for myself, but for fellow PGY1s alike. Becoming a PGY2 in a week's time doesn't make things easier either. In fact, the more experienced you are, the more responsibilities you'll need to bear. I'm excited and both terrified at the same time.

I've done numerous reflections over the past year but never really got to pen my thoughts down. Better late than never, right?

Hence, the blog.

This blog will be a medium where I can express myself as a junior doctor, and my lifelong journey of learning.

As someone who loves reading self-improvement books, this blog will also be a medium where I chart my progress. All of you will be my accountability partners.

Hope everyone is staying safe during this extraordinary time.

Love,

Xi