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Ashiana didn’t really understand why they were hurrying, five minutes late or ten minutes late, it wasn’t much of a difference, even more since Teacher Bitch was going to humiliate them, anyways. Rose might have gone through easily but with Ashiana here and her very despicable attending record, no way they would be left off the hook so easily. Nevertheless, she stayed quiet and just followed her friend in the corridors, since she ahd herself no idea where was the class, to begin with. It was hard to remember that Rose was actually pretty decided on going to college, getting a degree, finding a job when they were the both of them getting high on the rooftop, talking shit about everyone.

When her hand got suddenly grabbed, she looked up directly at her friend and quirked an eyebrow. Holding hands sure wasn’t something the both of them were used to do together. But the hold was too strong and the words spilling out of her mouth made the situation very clear. She snapped her head right back in front of her and she saw her, the curse of her life. Cold wrath swallowed her spine and it took all of her efforts to stop her instincts from attacking her.

Though, Ashiana reminded herself that she might have made Rose’s life pretty difficult lately. Nothing was close to mended with Shirley, she sort of suspected Rose to still be annoyed at Ashiana’s choice to not have come over to fix things the first night, to not have tried since, to have spat at her face words harsher than needed. Any violent feelings could be satisfied later, when Ashiana would be alone with the frog.

She kept her eyes on the shorter girl as she glanced weary eyes towards her and then shifted at Rose. Something seemed to relex in her face and she had a smile for her.

That was when something broke in her chest. She had been avoiding the girl altogether, trying to forget about her mere existence. But the bitch got Shirley and Ashiana would be damned if she’d let her have Rose too. The brunette grinned towards the blue-haired girl. « You know me better. » She let out, maliciously. If these words would have reassured from another mouth, they knew it was nothing sweet on Ashiana’s.

In long stride, she was on the shorter girl in no time. « Oh, that seemed heavy, let me help. » She hissed, too sweetly. She settled her fingers under the pile of books the girl was carrying and pushed until they dropped in a mess on their feet, but she kept looking at the tiny girl’s face and a wave of disgust at utterly fragile she looked.

She saw the frog looking above her shoulder, probably looking for Rose’s help and the fury unwhirled in her guts. Hand now on the girl’s shoulder, she pushed until she slammed into the lockers. She stepped so closely to her that they were sharing the same warmth, and she felt disgusted, but something even more disgusting was uncoiling in her guts and it bubbled into her head. She slipped her nails under the younger girl’s chin and tilted her chin up. « Ah, so insignificant, what did she find in you, I wonder. »

“Fuck,” Rose hissed, following quickly behind Ashiana as she hustled to prod at the foolish Sophomore. Watching with intrigue and also, a sense of satisfaction, the blue-haired girl couldn’t help but sneer at the younger girl as Ash unleashed her rage. It was akin to euphoria, the content that settled within her at the look of fear which crossed Jane’s childlike features. Rose had to gnaw at her lip to keep from partaking; a flash of knocking the doe’s empty dome against the hard metal of the lockers, all too tempting now that dramatics had ensued. Pressingly, the teen reminded herself that beating the snot out of some kid certainly wouldn’t look good on any college application; not even a community school would favor her for that.

When Jane’s hopeful gaze met her own, Rose’s brows furrowed tight and she grinned menacingly, aroused by the notion that now, finally, she’d taste some sort of justice for what had happened back on her bed. The smaller girl deserved this humiliation. For taking advantage of her kindness and for taking her crushes’ attention away from her. It was as if her offering of friendship to Jane hadn’t been enough for the goofy, stupid girl; like she just couldn’t help but take more, even though Rose had given her more than what she rightfully deserved. The pitiful thing just had to go and squander it, and all simply due to the fact that she couldn’t keep her panties dry around Shirley. How pathetic. Rose had been ignoring wet panties for months; this fragile, petty, frog didn’t deserve to take what she had rightfully earned.

“You know, sometimes I think that the people in this world aren’t even worth protecting,” the blue-haired girl dully stated as she set her backpack to the ground and bent to unzipper and sort through its messy innards. “Shirley always helped me to understand it better. How there are evils, but as long as I stand up and fight for others, fight to protect the weak, that evil won’t be as dark and consuming.” Hand wrapping around the exterior of a plastic bottle, Rose brought out the bottle of bong water she kept stowed away. Usually, it came in use when she and Ash wanted to smoke a little heavier than what a joint or bowl would allow. And when they were done with the bong, she’d stow the plastic parts away from the capped, warm, resin stained grossness of the water they’d continuously used for months now.

“But then in walks you, and you decide to take, having no previous claim, the thing that helps me cope, understand and move through this world without breaking completely.” Nose wrinkling and eyes flashing wildly, she watched for a moment as her friend held their enemy in place, keeping her from wriggling away with a strength Jane never had, nor could never hope to attain. Moving over fluidly, hand quickly twisting to uncap the bottle, Rose lifted the container and tipped its contents out over the curled locks of Jane Dunn’s head.

As soon as the old water washed over the younger girl, soaking her hair, running down her face and over her pouty lips, Rose could smell the putridness of the rank liquid already; knowing it would stain her clothes, her skin, her hair until all things were properly washed, the blue-haired girl couldn’t help but chuckle low and dark, her brows still furrowed as she took a retracting step to admire the scene. It was more satisfying a piece than the photograph she’d managed to sell to a snotty businessman from her small display at the local café. Yes; far more satisfying than that.

Back Into Your Hole | 004

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Ashiana was so sure she wasn’t imagining it, the yearning for her in the blonde’s voice. Despite her apparent easy tone, Ashiana knew her and the words stumbled too hurriedly out of her tongue, throwing themselves into the silence of the room with such urgence something warm licked the brunette’s spine. For the slightest second, it felt like maybe she wasn’t the one being played, maybe this once, she could be the player and a surge of something filthy acidly poured into her mouth.

Sometimes, she wondered if her body was haunted by her father, since it had no home to occupy.

Her fingernails dug into the thin skin covering her ribs, tightening the embrace she had around herself, but it cleared her mind enough to keep a straight face. There was an obscurity she didn’t want anyone to see, and certainly not the princess, who could still be found tears welling up her eyes on certain days of the year, significant for the Dahl family only. Uncomprehensible whispers sat uncomfortably in her chest, she opted for ignoring them.

The fulgurant idea of waking up Rose seemed for a second brilliant. She could make her worth her while. If Shirley was untouched, Rose was already mapped and remembered, Ashiana’s hands knew the territory perfectly, it would be effortless and pleasurable, habits would lead, because it would be normal. Shirley inviting her in bed, that wasn’t. Not anymore. Ashiana never even accepted her invitations at staying on the couch for the night, pretending that Rose’s bed was more comfortable.

The younger girl decided not to comment, just staring at her friend, unable to make her choice. Could she keep herself from slipping ? She couldn’t keep her eyes away from the naked shoulders and the obsessive image of Shirley’s nudity was making her weak in the knees. She was torn with the knowing that Shirley wanted this and the relishing shadow in her lungs that wanted it so badly too.

Her indecision was cut off by the sudden question and it hurt like a blow in the solar plexus. She found herself breatheless and dizzy. Just like any other attack, she suddenly felt defensive, ready to show teeth and claws at the next threat. She could feel her face turning into a sneer and she wanted to hiss in displeasure. The question had been like ripping her skin off and leaving her heart bare to the world, unprotected. It had been unexpected, poking when she had let her guards done and a flare of anger lit up in her guts.

Her eyes suddenly met Shirley’s and the tension broke in her body. That wasn’t the look of someone trying to pull on weaknesses, it was someone uncovering their own. Ashiana couldn’t understand why she was so surprised. Contrariwise to herself, the princess was so open, so easy to read or break, for her at least, she barely ever cover anything. Ashiana knew of Shirley’s unrested vital need to be loved, to be cared for. She had already asked for Rose’s or her attention. Why did this formulation was leaving her so weary of replying, of complying ?

The silence had been lasting for some time, she noted. She hadn’t uttered a word on any of the demands and she could still run away. Somehow, she wished she had before these last few words were thrown at her, like an ultimatum. The younger girl wondered if that was what was left of their old friendship. Silence and hesitations. Attempts to toe the limits of them. Carefully stepping until an alarm was wailing.

Feeling a twinge in her shoulder as she was hugging her ribcage tighter than ever, she finally unfolded her arms and ran a tired hand on her neck, looking down at her feet. She had missed her timing, she had waiting too long to reply. Whatever would come out of her mouth would sound made up. Considering Shirley’s expression of guilt, she also guessed the blonde didn’t expect an honest reply. Hating herself, she still eased into her old persona, comfortable like a well-worn shoe, remembering all of her curves and angles.

Dropping her hands onto the zip of her skirt, she shook her head. « There’s no need to resort to such drastic measure. » She forced the sarcasm out of her mouth, avoiding altogether to reply and begging quietly for Shirley to take the hint, to drop the subject. Keeping her shirt on, she still skillfully took on her bra undeaneath and walked towards the bed. She glanced at the door as she passed it but didn’t hesitate to open the sheets and slip in them.

She was submerged by Shirley’s scent and it made her hard to breathe without touching the other girl. She put the cover back on her, wishing her body wouldn’t be calling so loudly for the other’s. Oh, Ashiana knew perfectly what was the next step. They had done that so many times, back in the days. Next step was holding each other’s hand, next step was slipping an arm around the other’s waist, next step was getting so close than the blanket would soon be too much.

They had been there already. And Ashiana didn’t understand why, yet, it all felt so new and raw.

There wasn’t an answer to follow her question and ridden by a sense of rejection, Shirley shifted herself, moving to lay with her head neatly upon the swell of the pillow and her back towards the brunette. Stupidly, she had tricked herself into thinking that maybe, caught in the comfort of the night, Ashiana might embellish, for once, a bit of what she strove to keep hidden. But of course, she’d been wrong. Curtly, the blonde reminded herself that romance wasn’t as it was in novels and that in real life, princes didn’t exist and that miracles were of mere fantasy.

The voice sounding behind her, coaxed a smile to full lips however; the brunette’s proximity eradicating what doubts had fleetingly settled. Clearing her throat in acknowledgment, Shirley wriggled herself excitedly under the sheets, eager for the warmth of Ashiana’s body, which she hadn’t felt in far too long. The static of the blanketing shocked her legs as they rubbed together and the blonde giggled innocently, for the moment was so fresh and enticing that she couldn’t help but feel girlishly eager. For once, she felt akin to a normal, teenaged girl.

Suddenly, Ashiana was close and Shirley couldn’t breathe. From the tips of her toes to the top of her head, she felt a fire set flame, engulfing her wholly in its’ rampant inferno. And though it was only her cheeks that frequently flushed in accordance with the brunette’s actions, the blonde could feel her ears, her neck and her breasts settle to a shade of blotched rose under the insinuations of what was soon to come. Or rather, what she hoped would come.

Praying that her boldness wouldn’t frighten her companion off, Shirley moved to shut off the lamp beside her bed turning, delightedly, to face the brunette in the shadows. “You fell for it then?” she asked, a bit braver underneath the cover of darkness. “Too hard to turn away from, huh?” Teasing now, her voice warm and laced with a quiver of sleepiness, Shirley felt swooned, dazed even by a reality which had often visited her dreams, but until this point, hadn’t only been a whisper of possibility. There was obvious tension between them; it was so thick, she could often taste it. And from Rose’s reactions to such situations, their infatuation hadn’t gone unnoticed by their blue-haired friend.

Scooting closer to Ash, Shirley set her chin upon the other’s shoulder, the rest of her body angled to place enough distance between them; not enough distance however, to keep curious fingers from splaying out to touch the skin just inches from their pads.

Bringing forth her hand, the blonde rested it over the damaged knuckles of the other’s battered paw and ran manicured nails over the bones that lay beneath a thin, protection of pale skin. Not daring to speak for fear that it would scare the brunette off, Shirley waited a moment, hoping that Ashiana would shift, move enough or in a way that would profess her desire for the blonde’s needy musings to continue. When surrounded by darkness, there was an excuse for Ashiana to protect herself with. The shadows, a cloak to veil the nature of their honest and unruly desires. Here, in the blackness, she could excuse herself anyway she pleased. But if words were spoken, the spell would be broken and Ash would depart before they had a chance to speak openly on any sort of emotion that pressed beyond the ties of mere friendship.

Back to Basics | 003

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Jane, and she couldn’t tell how, found it in her to focus on something else than the sensation of having a girl against her. Sexuality has never been an interrogation for her since she just couldn’t imagine anyone taking interest in her small and ininteresting, morbidly ininteresting, person. Girls, boys, in-betweens, no one. Jane would stay Jane as long as her life would go, and someday, where her lungs were burning, it seemed it didn’t seem to be going on for all that long, anyways. But with Shirley’s hair caressing her nose, sexuality was suddenly all she could think about. The softness of the girl’s skin, the sweetness of her scent, the delicacy of her curves ; all the things she could never find in herself despite sharing the same gender.

Truthfully, Jane was probably so far from Shirley’s realm that the angel could only be considered as an orientation on itself. Jane was Shirley-attracted and that was all of it. No girl, no boy, no in-between. Just Shirley, and her orange blossom perfume and long silky blonde hair which kept grazing and tickling her overheated cheeks.

But Jane found in herself to focus on her words. Not just her voice, but the actual meaning. With a crease of her brows, she asked without thinking twice about it : « Why would Ashiana steal or starve ? » Only when the words were out of her mouth, she noticed how not her business it was and she gasped a little. « Sorry, forget about me asking. It has nothing to do with me. » She apologized hurriedly, hoping she hadn’t offended her angel.

When she finally glanced at the other girl, she caught her in a lost moment. The confidence, the smiles, the easiness were all gone and was left unmade Shirley. Jane knew better than thinking it was because of her. How could she influence so drastically the president ? She was insignificant, she was merely the last ripples in Shirley’s ocean, the foam dying on the sand at the extreme of her being. Despite knowing that she was as useful as a spoon to empty a lake, the overwhelming urge to comfort the blonde girl was nearly suffocating. Jane wished she could make run freely her hands on the other’s arms, give her some warmth, because she felt like she was burning and she wished she was free to kiss her and breathe some life onto her skin.

Jane, for once, wanted to be enough. She felt the desire before. She couldn’t let herself need it because she would never be enough. She was already failing herself, her own body betraying her survival. Classes weren’t to be talked about. Any hobby would last for a couple of months before dissolving into the amount of useless knowledge she already had. If she was religious, she would pray for any god to give her the right words, give ehr the right gestures, just for this very moment.

And she did pray into the void of her brain to something she didn’t believe in. She never prayed for herself, knew better than expecting her lungs to grow healthy within the night or doctors finding a mysterious cure to her system murdering itself slowly. And yet, this felt more important. This felt essential. As if each breathe taken by Shirley were going directly into her bloodstream and they were sharing the tiredness of the older girl.

She was about to stroke gently the president’s hand, reminding her of her presence when her lips where suddenly taken. Attacked was more of the word, because it happened so quickly she couldn’t have avoided it if she had wanted. She didn’t want.

At this moment, it felt like gods did exist.

It wasn’t soft and short like their first kiss, not on the corner of her lips. It was a full mouth kiss, taking everything of her, starting by her breathe. She didn’t know if the fire was because of her weak constituion or the adrenaline and endorphines running like crazy. And the unkissed girl didn’t back away, before she could even think of it, her hand was settling on Shirley’s cheek, enticing, nearly begging for the kiss to continue. It was so unlike her to be greedy but something in her angel’s pressuring made her feel soft and docile. All she wanted was to react like Shirley wanted to, she wanted to be molded on her desires and expectations.

–

The only reason Ashiana had listened Rose’s rant was because she was entirely focused on male’s hands travelling along her body. He had strangely soft hands, leaving her skin unscratched where the slipped under the very long shirt she was wearing, the tips of his fingers playing with the hems of her panties and she grinned at him, lost in the moment for a few seconds.

The alcohol running in her veins made it difficult to deal with the two situations. Her phone conversation needed her to be clear-headed, to be empathic. Her new friend situation, though, was easy. She could hang up and drop on her knees and offer her mouth. She could offer to go to his place and be done with thinking about the whole situation for the night, deal with the rest of her life at a later point, and the latest, the best.

But this was Rose, and through the haze of deep want, she could hear her distress. Before she could think any further, she stopped his hand from getting any further under her underwear. She was surprised he actually ceased his ministrations and just dropped annoyedly his head on her shoulder. Fuck, he is cute. And he wasn’t making her decision easier.

When Rose finished her soliloque, Ashiana let the silence last for a few uncomfortable seconds. Blaming it on being wasted, she couldn’t find the right words and she didn’t want to be mean. And if that shit wasn’t the most uncharacteristic behavior from her…

It didn’t last. At the mention of Jane, all the rage, all the betrayal, all the hatred surged into her body and rolled into her mouth, and she literally growled, and she felt her male friend startled a bit by the deep throaty sound and suddenly she wished he wasn’t there, not when she was feeling so raw and naked and her skin sensitive.

« Don’t fucking lie to me, Rose, not to me. You love me ? Go fuck yourself. » She hissed into her cellphone. Her companion was suddenly unwrapped from her and was looking strangely at her. But she was too focused on the wrath still pouring on her tongue and she didn’t know how to stop it, because it hurt like acid melting flesh. « You love me ? How fucking dare you. » She wasn’t making sense, she couldn’t pinpoint why it sounded so ridiculous. Maybe it was because that was Rose and Ashiana, they didn’t love each other, they fucked and dealt with each other because it was the price to pay to have Shirley too. Maybe because they did love each other but they weren’t supposed to tell each other. Maybe it was because Ashiana knew no one could love the heartless shell she was now. « Stop acting as if you know how I feel about her. » She mockingly imitated her friend’s tone, her tongue sharp. « I don’t fucking feel any way about her. Bitch tried, bitch failed. That is what happens when you bet too big. Thought she could get away with disrespecting me ? I don’t give a flying fuck of how broken she supposedly is. At the moment we’re talking, she’s probably fucking the retard on your bed, Rose. » Her jaws clenched violently for a couple of second and it took so much effort to remember how to relax them. « Get a grip, Brooks. She doesn’t give a fuck about how you feel about her either. She’s too self-absorbed with the amazement she has for herself. »

A hand suddenly settled on her cheek and she swiped it away harshly before remembering who it was. The male was looking at her, and looked actually worried, along with very obvious awkwardness at the situation. Ashiana noticed she was nearly wheezing. She touched his chest, taking in his warmth. He glanced at the door, then at the phone. He hesitated, a bit too long, before gesturing towards the device, proposing to manage the issue for her if she wanted. She went through the idea but quickly dismissed it.

« Now, if we’re clear, I’m going. I was in the middle of something. »

Enthralled by the heady reciprocation to her yearning, Shirley whimpered in response, her lips parting to accept more of what the younger girl was willing to gift her with.

Pretty, docile petals of innocence brushed in coinciding urgency; rustled by the quake of desire, their delicate bodies shook with a fever nearly foreign to them both. Jane, unfamiliar with the intricacies of kissing anybody and Shirley, who was overwhelmed with the nuances settling in upon her. The blonde could feel the change; the way the other’s body shifted to tenderly take the kiss; the way her torso moved, pressing weight upon the elder one’s mouth, proving that this was something she wanted. It coerced Shirley’s stomach to churn heatedly and instinctively, her legs parted in a premature consent towards excursions to come; and when the smaller girl’s hand happened upon the burning curve of her cheek, her broken heart, momentarily, forgot why it was aching at all.

And then, Rose’s voice sounded from outside, the shrillness in her tone indicating that the one on the other end too, was yelling. Obvious enough, her friend had sneaked off to converse with Ashiana and that the discussion was proving to be of little worth. Of course, in the heat of the moment, the bull-headed brunette wouldn’t accept any truth but her own. And until she had time to think and undergo a bit of guilt for her actions, there wouldn’t be a point in trying. Rose however, always eager to get her opinions out, couldn’t help but succumb to the temptation of wanting to quickly mend the forever fraying rope that tied the three of them together.

Gazing up, watery, oceanic eyes turned to those of deep hazel in a gentle plea; and before she could quell her fluid mouth, she was blathering again to compensate for the embarrassing tears that pricked at her corneas. It was just too much emotion all at once.

“I don’t deserve this,” she breathed out, her voice wavering slightly and with a last goodbye to the heavy moment, pressed a kiss to the palm that held her face. “You don’t even know me, I,” she swallowed and exhaled, “I’m really not as put together as I might seem at school. It’s just a play, really. I’m not very interesting and most times, I’m not happy either. I’m not any sort of role model and I feel that I’ve lied to you somehow, Jane.” Realizing that surely, she was confusing the other, Shirley shifted slightly and placed a hand to the other’s knee to show that things were okay. “I don’t want to be alone anymore. And when I’m with you, I feel I don’t have to be. Please know, I wasn’t trying to trick you by acting heroic today, for truly, I wanted to help. It’s just that, really, I’m just as emotionally unstable as anybody else. I’m no saint.”

At her friend’s outrage, Rose could only hiss and growl in retaliation. If she were with her, she’d slug her, quick, hard and passionately for all the stupid, hurtful things that came out of her sly, fucking mouth. And as imagination played out the scene, their aggressive dance ending with Rose’s knuckles bearing into the brunette’s jaw, she felt a twinge of fever wash across the back of her hand.

“Yeah, fuck you too,” she lamely finished, not knowing what else to say for fear that her voice would break in her despair. There was nothing to say; nothing she could do. Ashiana was going to act as she pleased and think how she liked. And nothing would be enough to defuse the fiery teen now; not in this moment. Of course, she could continue to argue; add fodder to the flame by pressing the honesty of her love for the brunette. If the idiot couldn’t see what was so blatant, it obviously didn’t matter anyway. So many times, they’d used one another to exhaust their pent emotions, the emotions Shirley simultaneously reciprocated as well as teased. How many times her palms had greedily raked over Ashiana’s breasts, after being manipulated sexually, emotionally, by their blonde princess, she couldn’t count. It had become such a ritual for her now, it felt sinful in nature. That connection however, as well as their indisputable likeness had sewn seeds of love through her heart for the brunette. Similar to the complicated infatuation she felt for Shirley, Rose was constantly flip-flopping between admiring one girl over the other.

However, now that Ashiana had gone and stomped on the heart she had displayed so openly just minutes ago, Rose felt compelled to favor Shirley evermore. Depleted and ruined by Ashiana’s words, the blue-haired girl turned back to her door and cleared her throat before entering. Hopefully, the two inside had been too preoccupied chatting to catch any words minced moments prior. It wouldn’t do to heighten the blonde’s already rising stress-level. The sight she was presented with upon opening her door however, had her choking on her breath and fighting to keep her hands tied to her sides.

With her cherished hero’s head tilted and her lips swollen from too much attention, she looked to be the picturesque image of every hormonal, greedy teenager’s dream; long locks splayed disaccording to their usual, straightened perfection and cheeks tinged red, Rose felt her core ache for some sort of ministration from the goddess herself. The image opposing Shirley however, was what rendered the teen completely helpless to the rising tide of animosity within her.

Jane, the petty, broken thing, was apparently daring enough to place herself a breath’s distance from something as precious as hers’ and Ashiana’s favored prize? It wouldn’t do. Not while she was around. And certainly, she wasn’t going to stand for something as emotionally distressing as this after the conversation she’d concluded with her other counterpart. If Shirley was going to fuck her over, it wasn’t going to be on her own bed; not when she’d fantasized time and time again about excitedly pressing her own hand and mouth upon the blonde in the same, damn spot.

Pretending as though she didn’t notice, Rose cleared her throat, eyes to the carpeting and hands buried in the confining pockets of her tight, denim pants. “Shirley, I’m gonna go see Ash,” she lied, hoping that the excuse would suffice. The foolish, blue-haired teen didn’t have enough gale to embarrass the two, or say anything on it. It would only prove as a confession of her own love and after Ashiana’s rejection, she couldn’t bear the thought of Shirley’s too. So, she’d play a different strategy and hoped that it would work out fine enough. “She called me on the phone,” she continued, her voice falling flat and emotionless. “I mean, she’s angry, and a fucking idiot, but I think I might be able ‘ta talk some sense into her.”

Gathering up her things, Rose pocketed her wallet and shrugged on a jacket, her eyes momentarily falling on Jane; seething secretly, the degenerate hoped that the stupid thing would understand her annoyance. “I’ll come and see you later tonight, Shirls. Once I’m done with whatever it is I have to do. So don’t fall asleep and wait up for me, okay?” Really, it was just a ploy to get rid of Jane. If she threatened to turn up, perhaps it would sway Shirley from inviting the petite Sophomore back to her apartment.

002 // the girls

[imyourdahl-blog]

Back Into Your Hole | 004

Their shoes smacked against the linoleum of the halls as they hastened to class. Already, the duo was tardy due to a smoke session that had lasted far too long and with any luck, they’d narrowly escape another detention from the stern, English teacher, who was far too bitter to rightly be teaching such a hectic and wild class. “Of course,” Rose said as her hand lightly brushed the back of Ashiana’s, their steps synchronized as they moved in accordance with each other, “we’ll be burdened with washing chalkboards after school. There’s no way, even if we hurry that we’re going to make it on time. I mean, we’re already five minutes late and--,” but her lips fastened shut at the sight of another coming down the hall; her head down and eyes on her dirtied and old sneakers, Rose reasoned that she hadn’t even noticed them yet.

Grabbing for her partner’s hand, Rose held onto the tips of Ashiana’s fingers and gave a quick, stern squeeze, physically alerting her of the small, doe of a girl who was making her way, innocently towards them. “Don’t do anything stupid, yeah?” she whispered, which was foolish for it caught the younger girl’s attention, forcing her to take notice of the two, bull-headed teens nearing her. “We’re going to get in even worse trouble if you make a scene. Far later than if you just were to keep your mouth shut and walk to Mrs. Theriault’s room.” A burning quake of anger reminded Rose that Jane was her enemy; that appropriately, the little Sophmore deserved whatever Ashiana was eager to throw her way; whether it be fists or a verbal lashing, Jane Dunn should earn some sort of lick. 

Despite the insistence that she should let Ash do as she pleased, a biting in the blue-haired girl’s stomach reminded her that suspension would not look too bright on her college applications and that expulsion would render her completely useless. And that, if her temperamental friend decided that Jane deserved to be humiliated here and now, she would be unable to help quell Ash’s anger and might, in retaliation, partake as well. Therefor, it was impervious that the brunette keep walking and ignore the younger, pitiful thing altogether. Inhaling deeply through her nose, the Junior girl waited for the inevitable storm that was about to tear through the desolate halls of Franklin High. 

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Ashiana let Shirley slipped from her hands just like one would accidently drop a glass, because she hasn’t been hanging onto her tightly enough, she hadn’t meant to let her go, she wanted to have a handful of her friend in her arms, drown in flowery perfume and mango shampoo, of soft-spoken words and melancholic memories about kinder times. She was suddenly guilty and sorry as the other was far from her, but just like she would do, she busied herself picking the pieces without trying to mend the absence. She just looked at the blonde girl without commenting.

And the shirt was off, and her heart seemed to have stopped, and she had seen Shirley without much on her, she had seen her in bikinis and underwears, but never the princess had had this liberated attitude, this debauched look with her messy hair and light goosebump on her skin and Ashiana could only picture the perkiness of her breasts and all she could do was to bite off a whimper of sheer want. Shirley was not hers for the taking. Shirley was not hers for anything. Shirley was terribly out of reach, despite the outreached hands and the tender words, Shirley was off limits.

The realization, even if not new, made Ashiana look away, the echo of a well-known unease singing in the hollow of her ribs but she could finally walked away from the bed, lean against the closet and faked being interested in the turn table, which was now turning on empty, the music long gone without them noticing. She just stared at the empty spinning and felt like she could relate for a second. She couldn’t stop herself from clicking her tongue in annoyance. She deserved better than comparing herself to fucking objects.

She heard the ruffling of the sheet and decided it was safe to focus back on her friend. Intense blue eyes were already focusing on her and she couldn’t help but let a sly smirk escaped her carefully built expression. No matter how far Chirley would be from being hers, there was always something that was inherently Ashiana’s and that was the princess’ attention.

Nevertheless, she didn’t trust herself to just slid into the bed and behave so she eyed the door and stalled for time. « I don’t know. You happen to be a bit too high-maintenance for me. » She teased, crossing her arms against her chest and it was a good call. Here, her fingrs couldn’t yearn for blonde strands flowing on the skin.

They were so young when they started to sleep in the same bed, but when did it start feeling different ? Ashiana couldn’t pinpoint a moment. She couldn’t decide when she had started to want these hands to wander under her pajamas and these nails to dig until the soft flesh of her hips, to want these lips to stop uttering tender sentences to kiss her sensitive neck, just like they had a few minutes earlier. Shirley had always seemed to have a better control on herself than Ashiana. The president, untouched and pure. Herself ? Not so much. Her favorite victim sleeping a room away could testify how the brunette bloomed under caresses of naked bodies and shameless mouths.

It was a secret left untold, but still known, that she offered herself to people, sometimes, often, strangers. She had never felt the use of hiding the bruises on her neck and the scratches on her arms or the new names on her cellphone. And yet, when one of them called, she always walked away from the princess, somewhere she couldn’t hear of her impurity, somewhere where sins would still be like a too obivously protected closet she had warned everyone too many times not to open. It was Blue Beard’s secret room.

She straightened herself and threatened to walk to the door  just by taking a few steps. « I should probably go to Rose. She’s such an easy-going person, isn’t she ? » She dove her hands into the pockets of her pants, which was too tight and left her fingers numb after a few seconds only, but she didn’t let go of her posture, and raised an eyebrow towards the blonde.

Watching her beloved inch towards the door, Shirley sat up a bit and the sheet fell from her frame as fluid as an unfastened cloak. Grabbing for it and covering herself, the blonde looked bashfully up, her cheeks tinged by embarrassment and her cerulean orbs alight with surprise at the threat of loneliness. Straightening her posture, Shirley sat in wait, her lips only parting to exhale a small breath as she watched Ashiana’s gaze flicker to the knob. If the brunette left now, she was sure that she’d take a part of her heart along with her. After all, hadn’t Shirley just opened up? Didn’t she invite along the proposal of a night together? Hadn’t she cut her chest open to bear her heart? Was it Ashiana’s lack in interest that had pushed her back or was it something altogether more complicated? Repulsed by the blonde, did she simply long to fill her time with Rose’s snoring rather than muffled laughter underneath thick blanketing? Would she rather share a couch than even entertain the thought of holding the blonde until the wee hours of morning crept on them?

“Rose is very sweet and of course,” her tone was honeyed and kind, admiring, “good and easy-going. But she’s asleep. Are you just going to rouse her from her dreams to what?” she ran her tongue over her bottom lip in an attempt to quell her throbbing heart, “make an ass out of yourself?” the blonde pressed jokingly, eyeing the other with a look akin to desperation. It had been far too long since they’d lay in bed together and she needed to know that the wanting she felt for Ashiana was not singular, but a coupled need shared on both ends of the spectrum. “And besides, why would you want to leave? You’ve always known I���m high maintenance, so that shouldn’t be what’s swaying you to leave.” Shrinking back against the headboards, Shirley watched as her words settled in and watched with intent, bright eyes as Ashiana chose which road she wished to tread.

It wasn’t fair that she should have to fight, practically beg for the attention that months ago, Ashiana would have eagerly given, if only to ease some of her friend’s heavy sorrow. Since the day of the murders and the days following, Ashiana had gone out of her way to push Shirley back, one small step at a time, layering distance between them because apparently, Ash found their friendship to be a burden; or so Shirley felt. It emptied her, forced her to cry in her room of solitude; when nobody was around to hear her sobs, they would echo through her home, like the desperate cry of a harpie. Where once Ash had come by to have lessons read to her, to drink tea, to tousle in bed and to talk their worries away, there was only nothingness. Every beautiful detail of their previous relationship had been erased or tweaked, changed for the worse. And because of these new complexities, it was Shirley who found herself slowly digging back into a hole of depression.

Letting her eyes fall briefly to the empty spot beside her, Shirley tightened her hold on the sheet and sighed sadly. “Do you love me?” she bravely asked, though her voice could hardly be heard; even in the silence of the room, her words carried feather-like, despite the heaviness of the question they bore.

Never, had they spoken of their feelings. It was always a question; a question she’d never fully been able to comprehend, nor properly deal with, for there were still mysteries surrounding it. But what did their stolen glances, their aching touches and desperate eyes imply if not love? What did it mean that each night, she longed to have the brunette wound in the sheets beside her? What could their relationship, their intimate, desperate friendship even represent if Ashiana’s love was revealed as absent.

Before the words had even fallen from her lips, she knew she shouldn’t have spoken. The question was far too intrusive, far too much for Ashiana to answer honestly. But still, despite the threat that the brunette would spit some sort of disdain and run away with her tail between her legs, there was a chance, especially swooned by the toxicities of drugs and alcohol, that she’d open up enough to speak the truth. If not the whole truth, then Shirley hoped for at least some morsel of it. Right now, in her disheveled physical and mental state, she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than the confession of Ashiana’s feelings.

Back to Basics | 003

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Jane’s eyes widened at Rose’s obvious dislay of mockery. She was used to be ridiculized, it was more or less an everyday occurrence when she could go to high school, which wasn’t that much and yet, definitely enough. Therefor, it seemed a bit worse that someone would attack at this very moment of contempt and safety. Even more since the girl, an hour earlier, had had enough heart to invite her over. It seemed nothing was left of that girl and Jane coouldn’t hel but glance at Shirley. Was Rose acting like this because the president was here ?

Her face still flushed at the mockery, she felt like she should be going, leave the two friends at their own device, stop being the black sheep. But then, fingers on the back of her hand. And Jane knew better than checking whom they were, because Rose was obviously too far and except if the room was somehow haunted, it had to be Shirley, and yet before she could stop it, she let her look fall on her fingers and there it was, the perfectly manucured hand, playing softly above her skin and something trembled in her and she looked away quickly, unable to pronounce a single thing.

Her breathe did catch a bit less than quietly when the angel’s head settled against her and she was suddenly surrounded by a sugary scent, nothing nauseating, some kind of flowery essence, maybe orange blossoms ? And she didn’t smell chemical, due to the lack of makeup. It was the purest thing she had witnessed, more than tears and shy smiles, but they uncontrolled bit of Shirley. It felt as intimate as their kiss. And that got Jane to shiver at the memory.

She didn’t dare returning the affection, otherwise than hunching a bit more so Shirley could be more at ease against her. She didn’t want to look at Rose, knowing the judgement that would be held and decided for looking at the blanket pattern, clearing her throat lowly, hoping no one would address a word to her yet.

Jane wasn’t used to affectionate touches that weren’t her mother’s. She didn’t have friends, didn’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, anything. Her body had been handled and controlled in clinical moves, doctor’s eyes barely grazing her skin, even when she was in her underwears (she was grateful for this) but it left her totally unprepared to the situation. She hadn’t woken that morning thinking she had to tell her heart to strengthen itself because that day was going to be particularly wide. She didn’t know what to do of Shirley’s attention and touches, and being brought to existence not because people had to, but because someone wanted to.

Her breathe quickened slightly and she hoped Shirley couldn’t notice.

« It’s so cool, you can cook. » She whispered, not trusting herself to be loud without her voce cracking. But it was leaving Rose outside of the conversation and the intimacy was nearly perfect and her lips were quivering in nervousness and she could only bit them to avoid being noticed. « My mother… » That might not be a good move. « She says good cooking is what convinces a man to marry a woman. » And the last words stumbled out of her lips messily and her voice cracked as embarrassment grew.

As Rose announced she needed to leave for a few, Jane wondered worriedly if it was because of her, but the girl was busy on her phone and the young girl reminded herself that the whole world wasn’t spinning just for her. The hand on hers seemed to disagree, though, because the world seemed to have stopped to give her that chance.

She licked her lips, the tip of her tongue touched the corner of her mouth which was still burning of heavenly fire. Now, it was only the two of them and the kiss seemed to pound in the back of her mind, the caresses heavier on her skin. Jane glanced and caught a glimpse of Shirley’s face and her heart got caught up in a frenzy in her chest, and maybe, that was just all too bad for her health, and she wouldn’t care less.

–

The world was getting blurrier by the minute and yet, Ashiana never had an empty drink in her hand for quite sometimes now. She didn’t know if she was still the one paying for them or if the pretty boy at her side, whose eyes were grazing her thighs, was now taking it on his tab. He truly was cute and there was more than despair in her flirting. Pretty mouth, short blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Darker than Shirl– No, it wasn’t about her at all.

He had been quite a gentleman, never trying to touch her and she knew that kind of men. She’d have to go through the preliminaries in the toilets before they got to the main dish at his place. He kept flashing his watch to impress her and the brunette had to contain a smile at his attempts to woo her. She wasn’t taking the bait just yet, just assuring that his winning would feel sweet enough that he would want to keep her long enough, but she had picked her man for the night.

A new glass was put into her hands. « You need to stop or I won’t be able to walk. » The man raised an eyebrow at her and leaned, still untouching. « I could still carry you. » She rolled her eyes internally, but laughed out loud for him. Not drunk enough for this shit.

Her cellphone buzzed and she rolled her eyes at the texts she received, replying quickly and angrily, before sliding it into her bra. He didn’t comment on it and she downed the drink at a quick pace and finally allowed contact by caressing the line of his arm with the tips of her fingers. He cas obviously only asking for it, because a second later, his own hand was grabbing her thigh, his fingers under her knee as to turn her to face him. She gasped, in surprise, but let out an actual genuine chuckle at his boldness. She liked him when he was all actions and no words.

Ashiana was pretty sure at some point he had told her his name, but she couldn’t quite remember it and now his hand was touching her skin, it was probably useless, she had won for the night. This was a dance she knew all too well. Fucking strangers, for shelter or for the fun of it, when she knew she could still go back to Rose’s afterwards. Of course, Rose hated it, would lecture her (that was an old habit of hers, really) and try to convince her to stop. More than once, she had convinced her to stay by actually fucking her. But tonight, Rose was Shirley’s and Ashiana was giving herself to unknown male hands, whose roughness had nothing to do with her girls’ sharp nails.

She leaned into the man’s warmth, running her hand down his arm and settled it on his knee. She was a bit too inebriated and needed it to keep her balance, but he didn’t seem to mind at all and even grinned at her. « Maybe we can keep chatting. » She proposed looking above her shoulder, towards the toilets. She let a cocky grin bloomed on her lips and the grip on her leg got tighter. « Somewhere more provate, I take. » He completed. He seemed way less drunk than she was, but that was probably a good thing too. She wasn’t feeling like hunting another man, if this one was too useless after she had wanted him in a cubicle.

He got up and shot an arm around her waist, pulling her on her feet and leading her towards the men bathroom. She shook her head, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling him into the women’s, knowing it would be calmer than drunkard trying to piss and stand at the same time. He didn’t fight it, just opened the door for her, like a gentleman and she chuckled, hiding her mouth with her hand. It felt girlier than who she was, but she couldn’t give less of a fuck at the moment. Her elbow, though, now pressed against her cleavage, felt the phone buzzing, something she hadn’t notice earlier. As she tried to grab it, she pushed the man into a cubicle and as soon as the door was closed, his hands were all over her, and she teasingly pushed him away, holding a finger up. « I’ve got a phonecall. »

He didn’t let go of her, but stopped trying to kiss her, so she could take the call, which she did. « Fuck, Rose, can’t you read or what ? Better be important, I’m busy. » The man laughed quietly against her throat and that turned her more than she would have liked to admit.

At the other’s comment on her cooking, Shirley shook her head briefly before turning her gaze on the smaller girl, angling her head delicately to watch the other with attentive determination. “Oh, you’re too sweet for your own good,” she mumbled, nodding slightly as her eyes turned bashfully to the door which Rose had just curtly closed. “Cooking humbles me. And it allows me to give something to my friends. I mean,” she laughed gently and rolled the lit joint between her fingers, “I’ve always found it so comforting to know that Ashiana,” the name tasted stale on her tongue, “and Rose will come around just to gorge themselves on my pastries. Ash,” a bit kinder now, “especially appreciates my culinary prowess. Most times, she’s either taking things that don’t belong to her, or starving, so my kitchen at least keeps her healthy and full, so that’s good.” Smiling sadly, she added, “Good enough for me at least.”

Pouting now and swooned by her sadness, the blonde’s back bent forward and all she could to do keep from sobbing out was to bury her face into her clammy palm and muffle the light, pained choke. It was too much, fighting with Ashiana. The other girl, for so long, had been everything to her; her single source of affection, attention, love, and care.

All laughter and innocent touches, joking and light-heartedness however, seemed to clock away with time; the hands lapsing at such a hurried rate, she couldn’t grasp the moving mechanisms and soon, months had passed and relationships that were once so comfortable, became foreign territory. It happened all too quickly for the blonde to properly swallow and now, she was left struggling, fighting to mend a relationship that had changed, seemingly, under her nose, behind her back and in secret.

What had happened to her protector? The girl who’d once mended her heart, had disappeared, leaving behind a bitter shell; a shell intent only on protecting itself rather than others. For Shirely, this idealism contrasted from her own, virtuous take, pushing them further apart. No matter how hurt, no matter how depressed, the princess couldn’t quell her need to provide and care for others. Ashiana, however, had made it her mission to regurgitate remaining love and attentiveness, leaving no room in her heart for what Shirley craved, what she needed. Like magnets, forced to opposing ends, they no longer met.

Now, it was impossible to tell if Ash even gave a damn about her. After all, they didn’t share a bed anymore, even though she’d begged for Ash to think about living with her. Nor did Ashiana stop by even quarter as often as she had a year ago, back when Rose was just entering their lives. At school, in public and in secret, touching the brunette never earned her much more than a cold shoulder, whereas long ago, her silent begging had been responded to with open arms and warm, loving promises pressed to the shell of her ear. Didn’t Ash know that she still needed her love? That now, it was just as important as it once was, for her lonely soul to be aided with the attention of others? Was it so hard to comprehend that she was still hurting? Did Ashiana not realize distancing herself made her blonde counterpart feel as worthwhile as trash on pavement? All happiness had been taken from her when her parent’s lives were snuffed at the hands of a drunk driver; that void had momentarily been filled by a girl who now, made her feel just as lonely as she had those first months on her own.

The deaths of Ashiana’s parents had stolen every ounce of love and from the brunette’s heart, leaving none for the blonde survivor to scrape up for herself. Since their demise, Shirley had been fighting tooth and nail for any sort of warm touch, or expression of care and devotion. Where once, emotion and belonging blossomed as plentiful as a healthy harvest, that same ground was now dry and hard, choking out anything that tried to grow. It broke her; down to her very core, it broke her. And now, more than ever, she felt their distance grow wider, blacker.

In response to Jane’s admiring tone and deep, attentive eyes, what was left of Shirley’s exterior began to melt away. The calculated and immaculate depiction of a strong and virtuous martyr slipping seamlessly from her shoulders as she succumbed to the urgencies billowing within; and in one, desperate move, the princess took another kiss for herself. Joint, smoking and forgotten along with her sorrowful thoughts, Shirley stole, wholly, a kiss that should have been saved for somebody less sweet and wholesome than Jane. However, the nagging in her head told her that this was right; that the younger girl desired to make her happy, to give to her something that nobody else did and for that reasoning alone, Shirley Dahl melted sweetly against the mouth of the other, her thick lashes falling shut and cheeks heating brightly as she bled her desires into their connection, pressing gently to show that this kiss was as necessary as it was wanted.

Emptiness was all-consuming and Shirley refused to let that void resonate for any longer. If Ashiana chose to dismiss and acknowledge their chemistry, their obvious belonging, then she’d show her, boldly so, that the brunette’s company wasn’t a necessary component to her happiness. If Ashiana didn’t want her, Shirley would do her best to show that she didn’t want her either. That Jane Dunn would do just fine for her wounded heart and that there was no longer room to house a relationship that constantly proved toxic and hurtful.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Rose growled out, her brows narrowed and her throat swollen from emotion. As if their friendships were unimportant in comparison to a fling… “Better be fucking important, you ass?” But she quickly settled, clearing her throat and taking a moment to breathe. Acting over the top would only do to worsen the situation and right now, she needed to be the grown up; usual, adult-like, Shirley had been replaced with a drunken and sad girl, too broken to properly handle herself and Ashiana, well…

“You’re acting like a damn child, Ash. And just so you know,” she lowered her voice and cleared her throat, “Your little displays today are all too telling of how you really feel about her.” Snagging at her lower lip, Rose paced a bit, her stomach churning uncomfortably for behind her bedroom door, the scene had grown quiet and seemingly heavy. “You’re acting desperate. Fucking desperate, Ash. Like one of those jealous girlfriends you hear about on the news. Even though you have no claim on her, it’s like you fucking think you do, Ash. You’re hurting her, purposely, even though you have no say in it. Hell, with how much I give her in comparison to you,” her voice wavered with emotion, “I should be the one drinking and fucking my emotions away. Not you, you prick.”

If she were being honest, Ashiana and Shirley’s relationship had never made her particularly happy; their pent desires to plant desperate mouths over the other’s bodies was so thick, she could smell it, taste it in the air when they were together. It made her feel like a third wheel, made her eager to sink her teeth in too and take a piece of each girl for herself. Usually, when tension was thick, she diverted her friend’s attention from one another, which was easy enough. However, now that Jane had been added into the already odd equation, Rose could sense their unruly trio becoming two, separate duos.

“I invited Jane over,” she hesitated, “not knowing Shirls would stop by, but she did. And well, since you’ve been such a fucking ass today, she’s a bit drunk and high and acting far more friendly than usual. I’m begging you,” she bit out, “to come over here and fucking do something before the princess and the pauper decide that they’re going to leave merrily together. I need you to remind Shirley that you’re not her enemy, but somebody who fucking gives a shit.” Throat swollen, Rose swallowed back the angry tears which forced their way to the corners of her bright eyes. “Because right now, she doesn’t think you give a shit. You ruined her memories, you fucking broke her, Ash. You took something important and showed her you didn’t think it was important by ruining it. Now, fix it. Fucking fix it because I love her,” she breathed out, “and I love you too. And if I lose one of you, I lose both of you.”

002 // the girls

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… But in reality,  cough syrup won’t fix your broken heart, and neither will kissing strangers  who are just as sick as you.

E. Grin, love sick (via written-in-pen)

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The tightening hold at her hips, the fever of Ashiana's touch, drawing her in, was a sweet reminder that her depravation was not one-sided; that this spell, was an interwoven desire that they shared in mutual anguish. A true and mighteous weight that neither soldier could properly conquer, for the battle-field in which they tread was callous and unforgiving. Too many repercussions came in tow with outwardly seeking what their hearts, what their beings truly desired. So in coordination with their already, pre-existing toxins, they prolonged the inevitable capsize of emotions by skirting around truths. Bashfully hiding, depriving themselves until feelings could no longer sit untapped, needing air to breathe. Shirley could feel it in Ashiana's fingertips as they sank into the supple flesh at her hips; and she could sure feel it when the second brush of her mouth was enough to force the air to catch in the hollow of her beloved's throat. And oh, how her body ached to resurrect that reaction once more.

And then, the hold loosened.

Breathing in slowly through her nose, the blonde attempted to stabilize herself with an apt reminder that this "infatuation", feverous as it was, was a danger to her heart and that if they failed to quell the inferno soon, by daybreak, their complications would breech the thresholds which they'd striven to maintain for months now. Moments, such as this, so laden with pert desire that she could nearly taste it on her tongue, were nuclear to the foundations in which they'd moulded. It didn't matter that these chance "moments" were scattered and far between, for each one prolonged her love, her over-all intimate outlook and desire for Ashiana. Moments such as this, kept her believing that maybe one day, they'd conquer their feelings enough to just let it all slip.

A cute, girlish pout formed at the blonde's lips at the mention of her old, night-time attire, and it was all she could do to keep from wriggling away, red with embarrassment. Oh, she remembered those days; carefree as they were, Shirley found herself frequently wishing she could revisit. It was easier back then; back when Ashiana had been helplessly silly and disobedient in her youth rather than cold and closed-off. Back when there had been a family for them to share. Now, their lives were a broken mess; Shirley's, even more fractured than she'd left it as an orphan, before meeting the Gillinkerk's. Now, things were more complicated than she ever could have fathomed years ago, back when she was that girl in the one-piece pajamas. Oh, how she fucking weeped for that naive girl.

"Mmm," she hummed out, stepping in accordance with the brunette's maneuvers as she span them about, slowly in tune with the strumming a of music. "I admire that somehow, you managed to remember those foolish night-clothes of mine." Snagging at her lower lip, she then stupidly added, "Though, I do think I still have those clothes stowed away somewhere in storage." And as the lights in the room danced melodramatically around her, she found herself laughing for the sake of her laden heart, which for too long now had carried such weight a lesser-man would have crippled underneath.

Teary at the corner of her ears, Shirley stilled her steps as soon as she felt Asiana draw her in once more. Overwhelmed by the sense of comfort which seeped into her bones, it was all she could do to keep from whining out her contentedness. "You know me /too/ well and that's the problem, my sweet," she retorted, smiling charmingly as she slid away from the other's hold.

Sensing the need for space, the urgency pressing her now more than ever because surely, if they kept dancing her yearning would be her death. Bringing a hand up, eyes on Ashiana, she covered her mouth to stifle more gentle laughter before casually moving away.

Eyes to the ground, the blonde moved slowly around her bed, her hands falling to the hem of her shirt before, in one fluid movement, it was off and forgotten on the floor. "Knowing me comes with great responsibility," she cooed cutely, pulling back covers in an attempt to distract herself from Ashiana's musings. "Kinda scary to think that an ass like yourself is the singular standing person who knows me inside and out." At this statement, Shirley's lips parted in awe, as though she'd confessed to something altogether surprising and new, and with her brows furrowed in thought, she slipped herself under the covers.

Looking up from her place at the head of the bed, face half-buried into the cushion of a pillow, Shirley smiled. "You know I'm going to make you hold me all night, right?" she informed, a gentle hum echoing from her throat as she continued. "And until I fall asleep, you're not allowed to move. It's your fault I'm fucked up tonight, so therefor, you must take all responsibility of me and," she rolled her eyes teasingly, "my needs."

Back to Basics | 003

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Tell me I’m always gonna be your best friend Now you said it one time, why don’t you say it again? All the way down the line to where the telephone ends Come on and shout it on down the wire…

Down Down the Deep River, Okkervil River

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Ashiana nearly crashed at Rose’s side, sleep heavy under her eyelids. But Shirley looked heavenly as she invited her into her room and something heavier than exhaustion weighed into her stomach and she just obediently followed. She had smoked enough not to wonder too much about how docile she was being. At her first comment, Ashiana just smirked to her. Rose and her had been petitioning Shirley to smoke with them for quite some time now, and it had been even more glorious than what the brunette could have ever expected. She had loved them on the dancefloor, catching glimpses in the trembling lights of their faces, eyes closed, eyes looking right, eyes looking at her, eyes looking away, bottom lip bitten, flashes of tongues, sticky hair on forehead.

Her ears was still buzzing from the heavy music of the night, therefor she did not complain about her friends’ choice. She lazily looked at her moving around and found her breathetakingly beautiful. Her heart tug painfully in her chest and she wanted to kiss that naked shoulder of hers and run a hand on her stomach and let her scent drown her into a new century.

Her eyes flashed back up to Shirley’s face and she frowned a bit. « I would never let anything hurt you, not even yourself. » She whispered, already avoiding whatever look Shirley had at her sudden interruption. Her tongue felt lighter than usual and moved swifter, too quickly for her brain to catch up before that kind of things drop from her lips. The blood was rushing to her cheeks, but Ashiana refused to be one of these stuttering girls and refocused on Shirley.

Her heart beat with each step Shirley took closer to her and soon, she had an handful of princess in her arms, and she could only breathe of her and think of her and see her and exist for her, right at this moment. Unquestioningly, her own arms looped around Shirley’s waist. And Ashiana could be damned, but it felt like a liberation, an answer to a long unreplied interrogation. She led them into the center of the room, where moving would be less of an issue and slowly start dancing.

Ashiana wasn’t used to slow-dancing, she was a clubbing girl, her dance lessons as a child long gone and forgotten, but maybe it was the weed, maybe it was Shirley, but the both of them fell perfectly into steps. She swayed the princess softly and experimentally start rubbing a thumb on her back. They were so close, she could feel the breathe of the other on her neck and her throat tightened.

This was a fucking Disney movie kind of shit.

« Maybe you’ll be easier to convince next time, then. » She teased, her tone gentler than she had ever heard it and she wondered if that was her real voice, when she wasn’t sneering or snarling or smirking. She wondered if it was okay for Shirley to hear it. She decided she didn’t care. « Maybe we’ll get you drunk, next time. » She chuckled lowly. Shirley had handled being high with a gracefulness that Ashiana shouldn’t have been surprised of. What did the princess do without grace ?

She let one of her hands run up the back of her partner and the tips of her fingers caressed the naked shoulder. « Are you still cold ? » She suddenly asked, remembering the blonde’s complaining when they were outside, smoking that last drag.

“My sworn protector, are you? My knight? My chivalrous deity?” the blonde mumbled through a small smile, turning her face against the soft skin just below the other’s ear, leaning into her as they lackadaisically stepped in time. “Forever, do you promise?”

If she were being honest, Shirley couldn’t recall the last time she felt the warmth of Ashiana’s hold and it blistered her; from the tips of her toes to the hair which stood upon her head, she yearned for moments like this with each, waking breath. Before the death of the brunette’s family, it had been commonplace for them to cuddle and laugh in youthful bliss over silly-nothings girls of that age entertained. How well she could remember those benevolent moments, as if they had imprinted her heart permanently, singeing its tender chords until the organ would cry for no other than Ashiana.

When things turned bitter for the younger girl, the brunette became a bit sterner and far less apt to outwardly express her concern for the blonde. It was as if the tragedy had struck her friend upside the head, turning her personality, forcing her to act sour, crueler; as if the occurrence had manipulated, somehow, their caring relationship into that of distrust; these days, Ashiana would be quick in choosing to push her away rather than draw her near, like she once had. Oftentimes, she worried that they’d never be able to slip back to more comfortable and familiar mannerisms, and would forever be damned to keeping one another closed off and cut out. However, as Shirley opened her mouth, placing candied lips to Ashiana’s neck in a kiss that only would do to profess her infatuation, she embellished in knowing that her friend wasn’t trying to force her completely away. After all, she was still around, wasn’t she? A slight whimper etched from the elder girl’s throat as she placed another kiss, briefly to the same spot and tightened her hold just a bit.

“I won’t let you get me drunk,” she teased, knowing more than likely, if Ashiana proposed the idea, she’d succumb to temptation before long. “I know better than that. I’m aware of how people act when they’re drunk.” Though honestly, Shirley wanted nothing more than to experiment in drinking with Rose and Ash, she couldn’t let herself. She saw their mannerisms while under the influence; how they rough-housed more than usual and how their touches seemed to linger a bit longer than was commonplace. If she herself were to indulged, she’d surely end up sugary mess, red at the cheeks and voice calling out for attention. “And I can honestly say that I know it wouldn’t be all too flattering for me to be a mess on the floor,” she said, and pressed a chaste, adoring kiss to Ash’s skin, “blushing, begging you to play with my hair and shower me with kisses.” A girlish flutter of giggles fell from her lips as she let the thought play through her mind’s scope; the picture forcing her core to grow hot and ache; the visuals that teased her were almost painful to endure. “I refuse to drink because I refuse to be embarrassed,” she finalized, only half-admitting to her true reasoning’s.

Humming lightly in response to the other’s inquiry, Shirley could only nod tiredly, a simplistic grin forming at her lips as they continued their subtle dance. “Cold? In your arms?” she questioned with a light, bubbly laugh, her lashes batting as she pulled back just a bit, enough to look her friend in the eyes. “Of course I’m not. My protector not only saves me from evil, but acts as a human-heater? Keeping me warm on night’s so freezing. How amiable.” Raising a hand, the blonde placed it to the side of the other’s face, gently cupping as eyes of deep ocean penetrated those of ice. Not knowing quite what to say, or how to properly articulate her emotions, the blonde’s lips parted in hesitation, her thumb swiping across the high-rise of Ashiana’s cheekbone. “Thank you for tonight,” she offered pathetically and felt herself blush a deeper shade of maroon. “I couldn’t have as much fun without you there, Ash. Somehow, you make everything better. More comfortable. How do you manage to do that?” she asked delicately, her question left to linger between them, eyes watching in wait.

Back to Basics | 003

[imyourdahl-blog]

Ashiana : I can give you my rangers, it can be my redeeming arc, the obscure villain switching side and helping the hero.

Ashiana : You know... It doesn't mean everything's okay.

Shirley: I never said things were okay, Ash.

Shirley: Tomorrow, you can go back to hating me, but I'm too sad for any of that right now.

Shirley: Right now, I want to forget for a few hours so that my Christmas might be at least a little happy...

Shirley: You're all the family I have. You and Rose. And we both know, she'd busy with all her family junk today; parties and the like...

[imyourdahl-blog]

Ashiana : Has your heart frozen with the temperature ? Who's gonna save the world if not you. We are all doomed, people. Shirley Dahl has given up on the world. No Savior is coming for us. Say good bye to your wife and kids, your car and your dog, and the slut at the office who gives you blowjob under the desk.

Ashiana : It's to keep you interested. So fickle.

Shirley: Once the sun climbs out to warm the streets a bit, I'll be there with a hot, steaming plate of fried donuts.

Shirley: But there's still frost on the ground this morning, and I planned to wear these heels that will /surely/ make my feet cold if I subject them to such frigid temperatures.

Shirley: Not fun.

Shirley: I'd die, surely.

Shirley: Fickle? Me? No.

[imyourdahl-blog]

Ashiana : As if you wouldn't be capable to be sharing them with some hobos trying to find me.

Ashiana : Keep 'em warm, and add chocolate in my cup, I know you get mingy just to hear me bitch.

Ashiana : Here, I'm bitching.

Shirley: It's too cold this morning to go sharing with some hobos.

Shirley: Honestly, it took a lot just to get out of bed.

Shirley: ... You're never not bitching.