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british person: *eats some brand of food* wow this tastes ok.

british person: wonder if theyve got this shit in america

british person: better make a tumblr post about this glorified piece of nutrition.

one solitary american: whats that

every single british blogger: omg no fukkin way mate how do u poor americans live without malt dipped paper wafers whooaaaah we’re superior *sings dr. who theme*

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The baddest bitch thus far.

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apparently “bae” means “before anyone else” i always thought it was a ghetto word for “babe”

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I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.

I have ADHD.

I paid 20 dollars to calm down.

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Why don't you use capital letters?

the kids on tumblr are more receptive to text posts that lack proper capitalization and I am a businessman

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hearing a story thats obviously made up

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white people: *defend joan rivers by saying her racism, transphobia and nasty remarks on rape, palestine and many other things were justifiable because she was a comedian*

white people again: snoop dogg is racist his todd character is offensive he’s doing white face lynch his negroid ass

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A Guide to Terminology as used by Western Males of the Species

Prude - a woman who won’t fuck you

Dyke - a woman who won’t fuck you because you have a penis

Slut - a woman who fucks other people and not you

Tease - a woman who won’t fuck you even though she smiled at you

Feminist - a woman who won’t fuck you because she has, like, thoughts and stuff

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porn be like

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My goal is to be that rich single aunt that flies everywhere and wears designer clothing and brings expensive gifts to her less successful family members

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when you’re the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover

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