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Numbers and Heartbeats

Title: "Numbers and Heartbeats"

At just 23 years old, Aztiel Blaken Scarpelli—known to most as Azi—is already a force to be reckoned with. A single mother to two spirited four-year-old twins and the brilliant CEO of Scarpelli Holdings, Azi built her empire with sharp instincts and unwavering grace. She walked away from a quiet, mutual breakup with the twins' father years ago—no drama, no regrets, only the commitment to co-parenting… or at least trying. While the father remains a ghost in their children's lives, Azi never falters. She knows she can provide all the love and security her little family needs.

Then there's Elias Verano—Chief of Finance, a soft-spoken, bespectacled genius whose calm presence hides the strength of a man forged by sacrifice. Elias spent his twenties raising his younger siblings, trading romance for responsibility. Now in his early thirties, he's respected, reliable, and heartbreakingly clueless when it comes to matters of the heart.

Azi and Elias have worked in the same company for years, their interactions limited to polite nods and formal memos. But everything changes when a massive discrepancy in Scarpelli Holdings' budget sets off alarm bells across departments—millions of dollars missing, an internal audit looming, and rumors of embezzlement threatening the company's future. With public trust on the line, Azi and Elias are forced to work side by side, unraveling a financial mystery that runs deeper than either expected.

What begins as tense collaboration soon turns into something warmer—though Elias, ever the reserved strategist, struggles to process the way Azi's laughter lodges itself in his chest. Azi, fierce but kind, sees through his stiff exterior and glimpses the tenderness beneath. For the first time, Elias finds himself yearning—not just for her, but for the quiet joy of family, something he never believed he deserved.

As long nights blur into mornings, spreadsheets give way to stolen glances, and two people—one healing from abandonment, the other learning to hope—begin to write a love story in the margins of balance sheets and bedtime stories.

But love, like business, is never without risk.

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When I was a teenager in middle school, I didn't try worry much about chasing dreams or achieving lofty goals. It wasn't that i lacked ambition, it's just life back then felt lighter, simpler. My biggest concern was surviving math class each day. I flowed with life, carefree, finding joy in small pleasures despite the noise of high school expectation, the pressures to fit into standards of beauty, young love, and the latest gadgets. Looking back, those problems now seem so shallow.

Now, as a woman in the working world, I carry more weight, not just responsibilities, but the burden of dreams unmet and the courage it takes to keep fighting for them. I've grown into someone who confronts the brokenness of reality head-on, willing to bend, to break, even to plunge into life's darkest depths just to reach what I've always longed for. Yet sometimes, it feels as if the world resents dreamers like me.

I miss the ease of those younger days, the freedom to be lighthearted, but adulthood is an unfolding chapter of setbacks, detours, exhaustion, crisis, and refusal to settle for less. The challenges have only grown, yet at the core remains quit, unwavering hope; that one day I'll find deep purpose, genuine contentment, personal fulfillment, financial peace, and the realization of my dreams.

Above all, i pray for good health and a long life, enough time and strength to pursue what sets my soul on fire, and perhaps, the grace of an answered prayer when I least expect it.

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I feel empty, and it's maddening. Though I ask myself why, deep down, I already know. There's a fire in me, once fierce and full of purpose, now slowly dimming. The weight of "what ifs" and "what could have been" claws at my spirit. stirring frustration and madness, but strangely, also a sliver of clarity.

In my mind, life is better. In my imagination, the dreams I long for feel so close, attainable, even, if only the world didn't run on privilege and power. In this reality, pleasure often belongs to those who can afford it. And the bridge between dreaming and becoming is built with money, influence, and status, things that feel forever out of reach for someone like. Just a simple girl with dreams, trying to hold on.

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life feels both messier and quieter these day, or perhaps I'm simply growing indifferent to the routine and the dreams I once chased so fiercely. I wonder; is this what acceptance looks like, or I slowly surrendering, raising a quite white flag to a world that never quite delivered what I hoped for?

Sometimes, it feels less like peace and more like resignation.

I think of the bodies scattered along Mount Everest, once driven souls, burning with purpose, now frozen in time, becoming markers of caution rather than triumph. They climbed with passion, not knowing it would be their undoing. Their legacy isn't in the summit, but in the stillness of their failure, etched into the ice as a warning. Not inspiration, but ghost stories whispered to those who dare follow.

And maybe that's what scares me, not the fall, but becoming part of the mountain. A symbol, not ambition, but of where it all leads when the dram consumes more than it gives.

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I did all I could, and still it wasn't enough to call that stars down.

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I'm scared to forget. But more scared that I already am. Because what if I'm left with are the ruins of "almost"

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that strange gospel of surrender dressed as grace

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on almost-dreams and divine delays

I think I've finally begun to swallow that bitter, slow-dissolving pill- the one coated in silence and divine irony, wrapped in the sermon of wait. Of let it be. Of not yet. I used to ache-quietly, violently- watching other live inside the blueprint of the life I one traced in my mind. A life I rehearsed in secret. But envy, that green-blooded ghost, has loose its grip. I think I've outgrown it. Maybe. And yet... something in me has gone still. Or worse- has started to forget. Not entirely. Not willingly. Just... fading. And I'm afraid. Afraid it will all become an almost-life, an almost-truth The dream that burned through my bones but never found a home in reality, despite every piece of me i set on fire for it, It's not quite regret. Not quite surrender. More like a quite scream with no air left to carry it.

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Desperation, frustration, and passion - these are the constant undercurrents. Now, I understand the protagonist, the one willing to sacrifice everything, to navigate any obstacles, regardless of the cost. From the outside, their actions might seem absurd, their decision reckless. How could anyone justify such risks, such unwavering pursuit of an unknown goal?

But now, with my own resolve unshaken, I understand. Even if the word scoffs, i will persevere. For who else can determine the worth of my stakes, the value of the blood, sweat, and tears I'm willing to she? This is not merely about reaching a dream; it's abut self-fulfillment, about living a life I choose, on my own terms. It's divine, holy, sacred, and visceral

The path may differ from my initial vision, but I refuse to end this lifetime burdened by "what if's". i will not question whether I did enough. I will embrace the risk, confront my fears, and live without regret.

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The year 2025, has arrived, ushering in perhaps another glimmer of hope on the horizon of my dreams. Yet, it also beckons the familiar dance with disappointment, the gnawing frustration of setback, and the disorienting labyrinth of despair that threatens to engulf me.

Despite these recurring trials, I remain the same woman, steadfast in my aspiration to work abroad in a first world country, to embark on a new chapter overseas, and to forge a fulfilling life in that distant land. This dream, I believe, is beacon, a gift from a higher power, a guiding star in the vast sea of uncertainty.

Though doubt often casts a long shadow, I persist, tirelessly striving towards my goals, even when the path feels arduous and the outcome uncertain. Like a moth drawn to the flame, i am drawn to this impossible dream, fueled by an unwavering belief in its eventual realization.

I pray that this year, divine grace may illuminate my path, leading me towards the fulfillment of my heart's deepest desires.

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Dear God, in your infinite grace and mercy, i humbly pray to live a life guided by your divine will. May i be granted the wisdom to live morally, selflessly, and with discernment, knowing when to receive and when to give. I implore you, Lord, to bless me with the opportunity to fulfill my dreams in this lifetime. I pray that before the age of thirty, I may find meaningful work in a developed county, build a fulfilling career, cultivate strong social connections, marry a devoted partner, raise healthy and beautiful children, have healthy relationships', and eventually emigrate to that country.

May I be blessed with the means to support my family generously and share my blessings with others. i pray for a long and prosperous life, so that I may leave a lasting legacy. I understand that my current circumstances may seems daunting, but i firmly believe that with your divine intervention, all things are possible. You are the mover of mountains and the stiller of seas. In you name I pray.

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Oh, Lord God, bless and guide me as I embark on this uncertain journey of life. I am unsure of the time I have left on this earth. Despite my dreams and aspiration, I acknowledge the inevitability of death. I humbly beseech your divine guidance. may you be with me in every moment, comforting me in joy, sorrow, frustration, anger, anxiety, shame, virtue, and every other emotion I may encounter. Through my strength and understanding are limited, with your grace, i can overcome any challenge no matter how daunting.

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I am acutely aware of my life's purpose, yet I find myself hindered by a lack of means to achieve it. Despite possessing the potential, external forces seem to conspire against my aspirations. This frustrating reality weighs heavily upon me, making me feel as though the world is actively thwarting my dreams. To cope with this sense of unattainability, I often resort to the comforting notion of a future moment when circumstance will align in my favor. Yet, the uncertainty of this "right time" leaves me torn between passive waiting and the risk of stagnation. The fear of remaining idle while time slips away , potentially leading to a life unfulfilled, is a constant source of anxiety.

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I often feel adrift, uncertain of my direction. While the pragmatic choice seems to be settling into my current career, a profound sense of emptiness lingers. The fear of stagnation weighs heavily on me. A girl in here mid twenties without privilege nor connections, i harbor ambitious dreams that far exceed my current circumstances. The fervent hope for a life lived to its fullest potential drives me forward.

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Get yourself a girl whose unwavering gaze reflects the boundless horizon, and who burns into your vision like the eclipsed sun.

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I see clearly that our apocalypse is dawning in your reckoning gaze.

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Lock me in my cage, in the silence, in the gloom. The world can’t reach through bars lined with thorns, and this is my gain.

You see cold iron; I smell roses. You feel clawed, bitten by the teeth on the stems of my flowers; I feel cradled, wrapped in a comforting chill. Sadness to you is safety to me. Leave me be.