inconnecticut-blog

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being emotionally abused has made me incredibly defensive towards being told what to do, but at the same time has made it hard for me to do things without someone telling me that it’s ok to do out if fear of doing something wrong and getting in trouble

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Kurt Cobain & Thurston Moore, Hollywood, September 26, 1992

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So, there’s me and Amy. And we’re all inseparable, right? Big time in love. Then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how you don’t wanna know, but just have to know–stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him. How they fell in love, how they went out for a couple of yeas, how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah blah blah blah blah. And I’m okay. Then she drops the bomb. And the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with him, “menage a troi,” I believe it’s called. And this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sorta thing; I was raised Catholic, for Gods sake. So I’m totally weirded out by this, right? So I start blasting her. I mean, I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling, so I figure the best way is to call her ‘slut,’ tell her she was used. I’m out for blood, I really want to hurt this girl. I’m like, “What the fuck is your problem,” right? And she’s just trying to calmly tell me it was that time, it was that place, and she doesn’t feel like she should apologize because she doesn’t feel that she’s done anything wrong. And I say, “Oh, really?” That’s when I look her straight in the eye, tell her it’s over. I walk. I wasn’t disgusted with her, I was afraid. In that moment, I felt small, like I lacked experience, like I’d never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I’m saying? But what I did not get: she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy any more. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I figured this all out, it was too late. She had moved on. And all I had to show for it was some foolish pride which gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now. But I pushed her away. So I spend every day since then chasing Amy. So to speak.

-Silent Bob (via gingerwho1120)

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you don’t want him back but you still feel a pit in your stomach when you catch a glimse of his face on a stranger. you don’t want him back but your heart still races whenever someone mentions his name. you don’t want him back but you wonder if he will ever return. you don’t want him back but you dream of what to do if he did. you don’t want him back but you wonder what if he never left. you don’t want him back but if he still wanted you, you probably, maybe, would change your mind.

it’s 3am, and i still think of you. (via intimateorcheesy)

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Venting

How do you do that to somebody? How the fuck do you force yourself into somebody’s life and then just fucking abandon them without any word or explanation? Oh and it’s probably MY fault now because I deleted all your details including photos and conversations. I was probably supposed to wait longer than 6 weeks for an explanation? I gave him EVERYTHING and I understand that people fall out of love But Jesus Christ, you don’t just lie there without saying a word and then not say anything else about the subject for the next 6 weeks except to have a go about something I never said and to check that I haven’t killed myself! ‘You think you’ve seen me with other girls-fucking wrong.’ I WATCHED YOU WITH YOUR HANDS ALL OVER HER.

Fucking gutless. It’s just fucking gutless and I feel so stupid for letting you in. But any girl would let you in if you acted towards them the way you acted towards me. The knight in shining fucking armour hey.

'I knew I'd marry you from the moment I met you.' 'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.' 'You're it for me babe, no one else but you.' You broke every. Single. Promise. Every promise you ever made. And all the shit about 'I could never do things like that because of what my mum went through.' Don't use your fucking mother who has overcome all sorts of shit to be an amazing, strong woman, to trick girls into believing your shit.

I honestly don’t believe I can ever trust a male again. Even the nice guy from the friend zone will treat you like shit in the end. Not only that but they’ll treat you worse than any other relationship before because you were so much more invested.

Sigh. Fuck this shit. And fuck you.

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WOW THIS JUST MADE MY DAY GUYS .!!!!!

MUST WATCH

YOUTUBE

[inconnecticut-blog]

Why the Signs are Sad

Aries: After such a positive turn in the right direction, things have once again turned to shit.

Taurus: Everything is switching around much too quickly and there is barely time to sit back and breathe.

Gemini: Things have been mundane and quiet, there is simply no life blossoming around them.

Cancer: Thoughts of paranoia and being a bother to others cannot seem to leave them alone, false as they may be.

Leo: Everyone has been distant. Nobody pays much attention to them. All they really need is to be shown love.

Virgo: Thought after thought has taken them to a dark place full of unpleasant "what if's" and awful possible scenarios.

Libra: They have let themselves fall too far and forgotten they matter, due to their preoccupation with helping others.

Scorpio: Once more, their all was given, however it simply was not enough.

Sagittarius: There is nowhere to go and no one to be with. Nothing to try, and no one to try it with. Loneliness has set in.

Capricorn: The high expectations they've set for themselves are finally making them tired, stressed, and overworked.

Aquarius: They feel strange. So strange, that they wonder if they will ever experience life to it's fullest extent, and worry they may not.

Pisces: They can try to sleep the pain off all they want, but when they wake up, they feel it once more. And the problems remain.

[inconnecticut-blog]

I’m someone who’s mostly dead inside but still has a little hope for something extraordinary, which, as I said, is the worst breed of human, because it means I know everything is bullshit, but that I secretly for a day when it might not be.

Nick Miller, New Girl  (via coffee-spoons-oh-la)

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Trainspotting -1996 - Danny Boyle

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my BPD ass: I have abandonment issues and I am afraid to be alone :(

my BPD ass 5 seconds later: Please leave me alone I feel suffocated, I hate people.

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i've thought of some cute questions

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.الجيات أحسن من الرايحات What is coming is better than what is gone.

Arabic Proverb (via bl-ossomed)