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Anne Lister: You’re pouting.

Ann Walker: I’m not pouting, I’m brooding. It’s how sexy women pout.

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Ann Walker: It’s not that I don’t trust Anne. I just don't trust her impulse control.

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Sophie Ferrall, going through the luggage in their gig: You brought an entire suitcase full of vodka?

Anne Lister: No! I brought mixers as well, I’m not a savage.

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Mariana Lawton: Oh, Anne, I should have never doubted you. Even when you slept with my sister, it was for a good reason.

Anne Lister: Got her to stop drinking, didn't it?

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Ann Walker: What the hell is your secret, Anne? You just stand your solid ground, refusing to be anything but you. I never thought I’d say this about anyone in this town, but you? You’re very, very cool.

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Anne Lister: John's a lost cause, Father. Time to focus on your good son — me!

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Tib Norcliffe: Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to marry Anne Lister and Ann Walker.

Ann Walker, reciting her vows: I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that cool?

Anne Lister: Yes. Is it my turn?

Tib Norcliffe: Yes.

Anne Lister, reciting her vows: Ann, you're the most awesome person I have ever known in my entire life. I vow to protect you from danger. And I don't care if I have to fight an ultimate fighter, or a bear, or your aunt - I would take them down! I'm getting mad right now even thinking about it, I'm telling you!

Ann Walker: It's okay.

Anne Lister: I want to spend the rest of my life, every minute, with you. And I'm the luckiest woman in the galaxy.

Tib Norcliffe: And now the rings. By the power vested in me by the Church of Tib, I now pronounce you wife and wife.

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Elizabeth Cordingley: I have crazy garlic fingers from peeling and chopping garlic yesterday. This phenomenon is always fascinating to me because it reminds me that I, too, am made of meat, and therefore I am also susceptible to being seasoned.

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Ann Walker, peeking over Anne Lister's shoulder: What game are you playing?

Anne Lister: Paying the bills.

Ann Walker: Are you winning?

Anne Lister: No.

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[after learning Marian asked Anne to teach her how to drive]

Ann Walker: I don't know why you didn't ask me first, Marian. I have my license in seven different countries. And I have my F Class.

Marian Lister: Isn't that for transport trucks?!

Ann Walker: Yes, well, I had a lot of people to move.

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[modern AU]

Anne Lister: Coworker asked how I was doing today. Yet another third party trying to harvest my data.

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Ann Walker: Donating my body to science so these dork virgin scientists can see what a perfect pair of tits looks like at least once in their lives.

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Anne Lister: Goodnight, my love. I’m so happy to be able to fall asleep next to you.

Ann Walker: [already rotating like a kebab to ensure maximum duvet theft]

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Marian Lister, about the party she's hosting: Is the menu all set?

Elizabeth Cordingley: Yes. I will be providing several slabs of my world-famous ribs.

Ann Walker: And I will be providing my world-famous $100 lap dances. *begins dancing sexily*

Anne Lister: Sweet!

Marian Lister: No.

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Anne Lister, after teaching Sunday school: Kids are horrible. Why do people keep making them?

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Anne Lister: Why does everyone assume we’re a couple?

Ann Walker, on her lap and playing with her cravat: I have no idea.

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Marian Lister: Anne, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Anne Lister: Well, of course I have. Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring.