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*Meeting the family*

Mycroft: William, I must ask—how do you tolerate him?

William: I find his quirks... endearing.

Sherlock: See, Mycroft? Someone appreciates me.

Mycroft: Endearing isn’t the word I’d use

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Jack: Albert, why are you measuring salt with a wine bottle?

Albert:  It’s efficient.

Louis: It’s reckless.

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Albert *pouring salt*: How much is too much?

Mycroft: Stop! That’s enough for a year.

Sherlock: He’s salting the earth so nothing can grow

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❌❌❌

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*Childhood*

Albert: Will, I found your favorite bookmark.

William: Where was it?

Albert: In a glass of wine.

William *groaning*

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*Childhood*

Albert *hiding something*: Louis, where’s your wine rack?

Louis *frowning*: You mean my vinegar shelf?

William: Albert, did you try to drink vinegar again?

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*Warewolf vs warlock*

John:  Sherlock, when was the last time you took a bath?

Sherlock: Does standing in the rain count?

John: No. And if you don’t bathe now, I’ll charm every mirror in this house to remind you how bad you look.

Sherlock: That’s low, even for you.

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*Vampire vs werewolf*

Mycroft: Sherly, your antics have consequences. You’re going to the vampires’ mansion.

Sherlock: This is cruel punishment!

Mycroft: I thought you’d leap at the chance to see William.

Sherlock: Oh, I am. I just need to survive Louis first.

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Mycroft *disapproving*: Why is William unconscious on my chaise lounge?

Sherlock *grinning* He said it smelled like smug superiority and put him right to sleep.

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William * waking up in a cupboard*: …What year is it?

Louis *blinking*: You’ve only been in there ten minutes

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*Sherlock and William are dating*

Mycroft: What's your idea of a romantic evening?

Sherlock: Analyzing forensic evidence.

Mycroft: That's... unique.

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Mycroft: I'm envious of how you don't have to deal with a Sherlock.

Albert: William's no saint, trust me.

Mycroft: Really? He seems so calm.

Albert: It's all a façade. He's quite the troublemaker too.

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Mycroft: Another job gone, Sherlock? What was it this time?

Sherlock: The manager was having an affair. I let his wife know.

Mycroft: That’s not your business!

Sherlock: If people didn’t want their secrets revealed, they should be more careful.

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Sherlock *gently poking William*: Wake up, love. You fell asleep... standing up.

William *groggy*: I was meditating vertically.

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Albert *concerned*: Has anyone seen Will?

Sherlock *pulls open drawer* Found him! Nap drawer again.

Louis: I’m putting a lock on that thing.

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William *mumbling into a throw pillow*: Tell Sherly I reorganized his thoughts. They were a disaster Sherlock *mock offended* He touched my thoughts without consent?!

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🔴🍷