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Rusty: Chandler, you gonna like my picture on Instagram?

Chandler: I don't even like you in person. What makes you think I'm gonna like you on Instagram?

[Source: Jay Versace, Vine]

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Rusty: That's right, Fifi! I got the world's snazziest spy right here in front of me!

Lincoln: *motions to stop* Mm-mm. Mm-mmmm~.

Rusty: *nods, thumbs up*

Rusty: And he's gonna stop you and ALL your henchmen!

Lincoln: RUSTY! SHUT UP! SHUT... UP!!

Rusty: Hey! Hey, that's good! That's good, I like that! Shut up, Fifi! HA! Shut up!

Lincoln: *groans* Oh, no...

Rusty: What? Oh. Linc, she wants to talk to you.

Lincoln: Oh no- I'm not here! I'm not here!

Rusty: Yeah, he's right here! *hands him the phone*

Lincoln: *nervously* Helloooo~?

Fifi: Shut up?! SHUT UP?! You don't tell ME "shut up," I tell YOU "shut up!"

*phone dialing*

Fifi: What? Hello?

Ham Hand: Yeah, how ya doin'? Lemme have a pie with everything on it. Anchovies, meatballs, mushrooms...

Fifi: Ham Hand.

Ham Hand: Oh! Hi, boss! What're ya doin' working at a pizza joint?

Fifi: GET OFF THE PHONE!!

Ham Hand: But I'm hungry!

*Fifi hangs up on Ham Hand*

Fifi: Ugh... *to Lincoln* My boys are coming for YOU, kid spy! They're gonna tear you LIMB FROM LIMB!! *hangs up*

Lincoln: *panic attack* ...

Rusty: *smugly* C'mon, now! Who's your Rust-Daddy, huh? Who takes care of you, huh?!

[Source: Shark Tale]

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Lincoln: I am a convincing expert! I could revolutionize the whole school! Why wouldn't you want me to help?

Lisa: Because every time you try to help, it starts in a good place, but then your ego takes over and ruins everything.

Lincoln: That is not true! Gimme one example.

Lisa: Last week, you gave me a new backpack.

Lincoln: You said you needed a backpack.

Lisa: A backpack.

*Lisa reveals a bright orange backpack with Lincoln's face on it, labeled "Lincpack."*

Lisa: Not THIS.

...

Lincoln: Well, the guys at the office love theirs.

[Source: Lab Rats]

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Sid: Hey, I'm lesbian.

*(beat)*

Carl: I thought you were American.

Source: Vine

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Becky: Hey Laird! What's your favorite color?

Laird: Mm... Mauve.

*beat*

Becky: ..."mauve." God, you're fuckin' weird. I hate you.

Laird: *shrug* I like mauve.

[Source: Cody Ko, Vine]

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Lincoln: And then my father turns on "Mickey Saves Christmas."

Ronnie Anne: Wait.

Ronnie Anne: That's a special?

Ronnie Anne: Where can I watch it?

Lincoln: It's like.

Lincoln: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse though.

Ronnie Anne: Aw fuck that shit man

Lincoln: inorite

Ronnie Anne: They don't even change the end credits music.

Sid: HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DIGGITY DOG

Sid: IT BEGINS

Lincoln: WHO THE FUCK

Lincoln: EVEN SAYS

Lincoln: HOT DOG?

Lincoln: I DON'T EVEN SAY HOT DOG.

Sid: PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO SAY THE NAME OF FOODS

Sid: WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM

Sid: LEFTOVER BUTCHER SHOP MEATY WEINER SUCKLERS?

Ronnie Anne: HOT DOG

Ronnie Anne: HOT DIGGITY DOG

Lincoln: HOT DIGGITY- OH GOD DAMNIT

Ronnie Anne: Yeah, beat you to the punch.

[Source: An IRC chatroom conversation posted on an old friend's quotebook]

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Rosa: Hector, this is a crime scene!

Hector: *(grabbing ice cream out of the freezer)* What is this, the murder weapon?! Get off my dick!

[Source: Matt Post, Vine]

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"What I once thought was a quick warm-up... turned out not to be."

-Lincoln Loud

[Source: DashieGames, Super Mario Maker 2, Episode #53]

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Chandler: Bitch, I can sing!

Lincoln: Bitch, sing something!

Chandler: *laughably off-key* HAAAAAA--

Lincoln: Bitch, you can't sing!

Chandler: Bitch, you right. Shit.

[Source: Dope Island, Vine]

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Leni: ...and it turns out, they weren't even dating!

Lori: Wow. Shaking my head.

Leni: Shaking MY head!

*They both look at each other shaking their heads*

[Source: Gabriel Gundacker, Vine]

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Punguari: No, I have, like, a ton of followers.

Ronnie Anne: Oh! On what app?

Punguari: App? I'm the leader of a cult.

Ronnie Anne: Suddenly I have to go...

[Source: Not Even Emily, Vine]