pretty sure that blue haired gay is actually a natural brunette
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by incorrectbrightfellvigilante and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
0
Likes Per Post
0
Reblog Per Post
0
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
20 days
Number of Posts By Type
Conversation
17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Premium Tumblr themes are available from anywhere between $9 to $49.
Conversation
Empress: Stop right now.
Hatchet: Thank you very much.
Empress: I need someone to cuddle and fuck.
Hatchet: Those aren't the lyrics...?
Empress, reappearing in her lingerie: What was that baby?
Hatchet: [flustered] Nothing.
0 notes
Conversation
Hatchet: The TV subscription ran out.
Empress: And I care because...?
Hatchet: It means we can't get the cartoon channels anymore.
Empress: I see...
*later*
*Empress throws the TV across the room*
Empress: YEET
0 notes
Conversation
Hatchet: Babe could you pass the spare-
Empress, already flinging the box across the room: YEET!
*all of the spare bullets go absolutely everywhere*
Hatchet: ... Bullets.
0 notes
Conversation
Hunter: Hi--
Empress: *with a gun to his head* bye bitch
0 notes
Conversation
Jack: Hi--
Empress: Fuck.
Laurie: You.
Hatchet: You.
Cass: Piece.
Kara: Of.
Rosaleen: Shit.
Jack: How long have you been waiting to do that...?
Empress: Since you were born.
Hatchet: Since you've been gone.
Empress: Damn it, Hatch... now? Now you make jokes?!
0 notes
Conversation
Kara: I'm gay and I kill people.
Empress: I'm gay and I kill people. Also I'm gay. And my hair is blue. And I'm gay.
Laurie: I'm basically a goddess. I am also gay, but tell anyone and I will kill you.
Hatchet: Hmm... Fuck Kara, marry Empress, kill Laurie.
0 notes
Conversation
Renee: I'm straight.
Laurie: *exists*
Renee: I am willing to experiment with my sexuality, holy shit, take me you fucking queen.
0 notes
Conversation
Laurie: I want someone who is the basic human representation of the word 'perfection' and I will settle for no less.
Empress: *literally looks like she's been through a hedge backwards, saw death three times, had multiple fights within the past 24 hours, smells of alcohol and is wearing her shirt backwards* I got this flower for you.
Laurie: Well, shit.
0 notes
Conversation
Empress: I want someone who's beautiful, smart, a bit of a rebel--
Hatchet: Hi my name is Harrison Gold and I am a vigilan-- *trips over her own two feet, knocks over Empress' glass spilling wine all over her, faceplants into the carpet and manages to bring the tablecloth with her that somehow makes her look like a ghost trapped under a sheet. As she falls, whale noises come out*
Empress: I want that one
0 notes
Conversation
Empress: NEVER HAVE I EVER HOOKED UP WITH A COLLEAGUE
Hatchet: did you just refer to me and jack as a couple and if so how dare you
Empress: i mean you experimented with kara and jack
Hatchet: and you experimented with laurie and jack before you found me ;)
Hatchet: and one of MY colleagues when you were younger
Empress: that doesn't count
Hatchet: all's fair in this game, honey
*Hatchet and Empress both scowl at each other before drinking a shot*
Empress: never have i ever broken up a relationship
*Hatchet drinks a shot*
Hatchet: in my defense you were the one who proposed
Empress: in my defense you were lesbian queer-baiting me
Hatchet: never have i ever used the words 'lesbian' and 'queer bait' in the same sentence
*Empress drinks a shot*
Empress: that's cheating
Hatchet: i'm pretty sure you're too drunk to care
Empress, tipsy: that possibly might be true but i love you so it's fine
Hatchet: never have i ever told someone i loved them if i didn't mean it ;)
Empress: fuck.
*Empress drinks a shot*
Empress: really? never?
Hatchet: i mean i might not mean it now but at the time? completely true.
0 notes
Conversation
Laurie: empress taught me the 'never have i ever' game
Hatchet: great. next round's on you
Laurie, looking inconspicuously at Empress: never have i ever... cheated on my partner
Empress, entering a gay panic: fuck
Hatchet: looks like empress is getting drunk early tonight
0 notes
Conversation
Empress: never have i ever kissed a girl
*Empress and Hatchet both drink a shot*
Hatchet: and i liked it
Empress: pfft. you and your cheap pop song references
Hatchet: you liked it too
Empress: i did like it ;)
Hatchet: okay... never have i ever lied to my wife
Empress: i mean... not technically?
Hatchet: take a shot, woman who forced me to marry her without me knowing
Empress: hey you were cool with that!
*Empress reluctantly drinks a shot*
Hatchet: after a few drinks and plenty of cooldown time, my mind didn't completely hate the idea
Empress: but mine did
Hatchet: right ... never have i ever talked to myself
*Empress and Hatchet both drink a shot*
Empress: Renee Asher, creepy ass detective
Hatchet: My own shadow, like staring into a mirror without imperfections
Empress: hey i like your imperfections so your shadow can go fuck itself
Hatchet: ... you do realise what you're suggesting, right?
Empress: once you've done crazy, you can never go back
Hatchet: i'm pretty sure i didn't marry you for your lame ass pornography tips
0 notes
Conversation
Empress: hey hatch wanna play 2 truths 1 lie
Hatchet: uh... sure?
Empress: i love you. i love your body. i love showering with you.
Hatchet: how can you task me with such a difficult choice
0 notes
Conversation
Empress: you know i bet nothing i say can surprise you anymore
Hatchet: try me
Empress: i once ate raw squid covered in ketchup to make myself sick so i could skip school
Hatchet: ... nope, that definitely surprised me
0 notes
Conversation
Empress, with a megaphone: I BOUGHT YOU A CHOCOLATE CAKE
Hatchet: why do you need a megaph--
Empress: I'M PROVING HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU BY SHOUTING
Hatchet: the only thing you're doing is giving me a headache
Empress: I'M GIVING YOU CHOCOLATE CAKE TOO
Hatchet: also where did you even get that megaphone
Empress: I STOLE IT
Hatchet: i'm sure the police heard that all the way from their precinct
Empress, not using the megaphone anymore: fuck
0 notes
Conversation
Laurie, to Empress: you got blue dye on my carpet again
Empress: it ain't yo carpet bitch lol get some stain remover
Laurie: who is paying the bills?
Empress: you are
Laurie: and who is putting money towards the accommodation and living arrangements of this establishment, including, but not limited to, food, water, heating, and home comforts
Empress: you are
Laurie: so i think you will find, it is my carpet, bitch
0 notes
Conversation
Empress, beaming with happiness: guess what
Hatchet: if you're coming in here to announce that you've replaced the soap in the bathroom again, I ALREADY KNOW
Empress: i was gonna say i love you but i guess i won't bother now
Hatchet, melting with gay cuteness: awwww babe... that's so sweet
Empress: no. okay? moment's gone
Hatchet, sad: but i... *Empress leaves the room* ... love you too
0 notes