incorrectphoenix

[incorrectphoenix]

Lucifer: I'm sorry, guys. I've just got all these crazy emotions, and I don't know why. Am I upset over having to deal with Belphegor? Or is it because Mazikeen's gone? Why can't I just be cold and heartless like other guys? Why must I feel?

Gabriel: It's okay, Luci. 🎵Luci, you're a special boy.🎵

[incorrectphoenix]

Daisy: Three years ago, I married my best friend.

Natasha: Daniel and Bucky were understandably upset, but in our defense, Daisy and I were really high and thought it would be hilarious.

[incorrectphoenix]

Zatanna: isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now i owe you a debt"?

Sam: nope. other way around. you saved my life, so now i'm your problem. if you don't like it then kill me

Zatanna: what.

Sam: god wanted me dead, now you get to find out why

[incorrectphoenix]

Zachary Zatara: If being hot was a crime, I’d be serving a life sentence.

Ambrose Graves: A life sentence? For a crime you didn’t even commit?

[incorrectphoenix]

Chastity: Oh fiddle sticks! Oh diddly gee golly gosh goldarnit! That really ruffles my feathers! Really dills my pickle!

Gabriel, crying in the corner: please just say F U C K

[incorrectphoenix]

Lucifer: Hey, Bells.

Belphegor: I didn't do it.

Belphegor: I don't do anything.

Belphegor: I never do anything.

Belphegor: Ever.

[incorrectphoenix]

Belphegor: Don't fuck with me! 😤😤😤

Belphegor: Because I will do NOTHING about it.😤😤😤

Belphegor: But then I'll be . . . upset. 😤😤😤

[incorrectphoenix]

Cupid: Hey, what are you doin tonight?

Belphegor: Uh, frickin sleepin. What do you think I'm doin?

[incorrectphoenix]

Zatanna: Have we learned a lesson from all this?

Zachary: Look, I know you want to hear yes, but given my track record--

[incorrectphoenix]

Cupid: I just get this vibe that you hate me or something.

Mazikeen: What, me? Hate you?

Mazikeen: You're right.

[incorrectphoenix]

Deke: Look, I may not be the strongest or the smartest on the team.

Daisy:

Daisy:

Daisy: But?

Deke: No, that's it.

[incorrectphoenix]

Lucifer: Now, as we all know, there are three ways to argue.

Lucifer: With words, with hard evidence, and with--

Mazikeen: A knife.

Michael: A sword.

Aamon: A fist.

Belphegor: Tears.

Lucifer:

Lucifer: No--

[incorrectphoenix]

"Beware of the dog", they say. Of course I will be aware of the dog. I love dogs. I am aware of all dogs.

Clint Barton

[incorrectphoenix]

John Constantine: What's new?

Belphegor: My life is empty and has no meaning.

John Constantine: I asked you what's new.

[incorrectphoenix]

Astaroth: How many swords do you have?

Maze: Sword of a lot.

Astaroth:

Astaroth: Blocked.

Maze: Parried.

[incorrectphoenix]

Belphegor: You're always so positive, and you always believe everything is going to work out, and I just don't know how you do it.

Cupid: Well, I'll tell you my secret!

Cupid, leaning in and whispering: I lie to myself. Every morning, when I wake up, I tell myself everything's going to be okay.

Cupid: But I'm lying!

Belphegor:

Cupid: And I don't know how much longer I can do it.

Cupid: Have a swell night!

Belphegor:

[incorrectphoenix]

Zachary: Am I going too far?

Zatanna, sighing: No, you went too far around 7 hours ago. Now you’re just going to prison.