incorrigiblechaosmonster

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

Speaking as a survivor of child sex abuse: the world would be a lot better if yall spent less time talking about the ways in which pedophiles should be punished and more time supporting survivors and preventing abuse

I get it, punishment can feel cathartic. I’ve certainly spent time imagining all the ways in which my own abuser might be punished. But ultimately, him dying, or being jailed, or publicly shamed, isn’t actually going to help me nor will it stop more kids from getting hurt in the future.

I don’t want more prisoners. I want free therapy with trauma informed counselors. I want better sex education for young children that teaches them about consent and body autonomy. And I want a society in which I can openly discuss my trauma, or at least as openly as yall discuss the evils of pedophiles

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

btw if you’re fat and your partner doesn’t love you wholeheartedly, if they’re attracted to you “despite” your body, if they avoid touching you, if they look away from certain parts of you, you’re allowed to break up with that person. look at me. you can do better. you are not unloveable and you don’t have to settle i fucking promise.

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

One of Scrooge McDuck’s lines in DDLV is “Curse me kilts”, and can you just imagine Soap letting that slip out mid mission? The silence over comms right after until Gaz’s wheezing laughter breaks through, and soon everyone else follows suit. It’s the most anyone’s ever heard Ghost laugh

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

You make an offhand comment to ur friend Johnny abt how hot that guy hes always hanging out with is. Yknow, the behemoth of a man who makes hilariously dark jokes and wears a mask? Yeah that one.

Its said in passing, and ur pretty sure Johnny forgets abt it entirely, until late one night he sends u a link to a dildo??? And its like, big, right? Much bigger than anything u go for. Johnny knows this, bc who doesnt discuss their sex life with their bestie? So u reply back "Johnny wtf u know thats not my thing, its huge lol."

His response? "Well I'd start practicin' if you wanna take on my 'hot friend'. Its to scale ;)"

...you add the dildo to ur cart.

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

simon doesn’t use his phone much. and he definitely doesn’t use it to take photos of himself. but you’ve begged him for photos. he’ll text you what he’s up to, and you always respond “let me see!” he finally caves and does what you say, though he won’t lie, it embarrasses him a little bit. and then one day, after he’s done showering, he sends you a quick mirror pic, his chest bare and damp, sweatpants low on his waist, with the text “just finished showering.” you hadn’t even asked this time, he just figured when he told you, you’d plead for a photo, so he was just saving time. and when you respond with how badly that made you need him, he comes to the conclusion that maybe sending you photos isn’t so bad.

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

simon hitting on the cashier at his fav coffee shop !!!

 Simon was *your* regular.

You were 99% sure Simon only visited the little café if you were on shift, that he came there just for you. Though... that seems a bit delusional.

Simon—spelled S-I-M-O-N— you always made sure to spell it correctly on his cup because in your head it mattered to him. He exclusively let you take his order, ring him up, and hand him cash.

It was the same routine; his usual grunts, his VERY intense eye contact, a $5 tip, and a gruff "thanks." Every single time you saw him.

...

"There's something wrong with the cup today."

His eyes locked on yours as he handed it over, a slight smirk playing on his lips.

You raise a brow as you investigate the cup and there on the back, in chicken scratch.. is his phone number. 

“Oh..” You had to bite back a grin, fearing he'd think you were laughing at him. “Oh, I see.. Let me make you a new one and I will just..keep this.”

You could see his chest puffing up in satisfaction as he grunted a quick “yeah.”

the others:

gaz

johnny

price

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

Get yourself a fabric store that will light your fabric on fire for you

No but legit I asked what the fiber content of something was and the guy didn’t know so he cut a chunk off and lit it on fire and felt the ashes and was like. Yeah this is mostly cotton with a lil bit of silk. And that was the moment I knew. This is it. This is the fabric store for me. Also that guy is marriage material. Not for me but damn some person is gonna be so happy with him.

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

My roommates got married last week and said today that they’re planning on moving to somewhere else in the city, and asked me to move with them when they do.

Which I appreciate so much, they’re both fantastic roommates and I really don’t want to try and find another place on my own, but also. Jesus Christ what a look. “Hiii we’re the Thompsons, we just moved in down the street, that’s my husband and that’s the ghoul who used to live in our basement”

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers (1993) Dir. Nick Park

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

"backstage at a live event" is perhaps my favourite human collective emotion ive ever experienced. From running through the creepy empty school hallways before a theatre show, to the staff only breakroom at a convention or event where youre running a stall, to the bridal suite getting ready before your bestie walks down the isle.

Theres a little wall between the guys who are 'in on it' with you, whatever it is, and your audience or customers or guests or just all those people who are *not* in on it. Youve got a wallkie talkie, or a backstage pass, or an exhibitor badge, and youve never felt more alive

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

gossip rag

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

good news i'm the most fuckable person at this vehicular manslaughter

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

Unreliable narrators are one hell of an idea. You can just write whatever, and if a reader points out "hey the way this scene happened should not be physically possible if it's done the way this character described it", you can just be like "yeah I don't trust that fucker either."

[incorrigiblechaosmonster]

The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."