indescribable-isla - Tumblr blog

[indescribable-isla]

They used to call me smart

Call me bright

Call me gifted

And a part of me took pride in reading faster than other kids did

'Cause when things were standardized

And I was timed, and I was tested

Then I could prove that I was worthy of love and attention

Now I'm no longer smart

No longer bright

No longer gifted

And I can't read anything if it takes me longer than 15 minutes

Yeah, I still scrape and search and crave to earn that validation

I'm becoming unbecoming

I'm not special, never have been

[indescribable-isla]

you are 19 and staring into the mirror

your eyes are bloodshot from the makeup remover you have not cried today

standing staring at yourself with stinging eyes until you are able to convince yourself again

“being payed attention to is the same as being loved”

[indescribable-isla]

i don’t think i was made to be a person. i think if i had been made for this maybe it wouldn’t all feel like too much. i think i was meant to be a broken tea cup, or a stream that only appears after heavy rains. i think there must have been some confusion and now the spirit of a sputtering candle is trapped in the fleshy and far too permanent body of a girl. i am a sandbar and the ocean was meant to swallow me long ago.

[indescribable-isla]

I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.

Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.

[indescribable-isla]

Every time I remember this I laugh so hard I cry

[indescribable-isla]

[indescribable-isla]

[indescribable-isla]

hi

[indescribable-isla]

theres no winning on this website!

[indescribable-isla]

[indescribable-isla]

as is tradition I would like to wish a happy pride month specifically to this Indian guy I used to work with who came SPRINTING to find me when there was some buzz in India about gay marriage being legalized (this was in like 2018ish, it's sadly ended up not panning out) to ECSTATICALLY say "you know what this means??? it means men better start acting better, or their wives are going to leave them for women!!!" he was so excited for all of these hypothetical women who were about to finally leave their loser husbands and lez out. that's a true ally, I hope he's thriving wherever he is.

[indescribable-isla]

🌈🌈🌈🌈

[indescribable-isla]

Oh my god. I bought a sub to a local news substack, saw they used a ton of AI images, and backed out of renewal saying that I loved their work but couldn’t pay for AI.

It’s been a few weeks, and I just got this email seemingly addressed to me personally:

THINK LOCALLY BABY

[indescribable-isla]

meme redraw

[indescribable-isla]

hey um this is double-plus ungood

[indescribable-isla]

You have the personality of a hairdryer.

hhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[indescribable-isla]

baby animals move like theyre playing a new video game & havent figured out the controls yet