indigowinterauthor

[indigowinterauthor]

writing through grief: how losing mia reshaped my stories

The day after Valentine’s Day this year, I had to say goodbye to my dog, Mia. She had been by my side for over a decade. A constant companion. My shadow. My heart.

We met unexpectedly. I was teaching digital literacy classes for the library system back then, hopping between branches. One morning, the security guard found a box outside near the flagpole—two tiny black-and-white puppies had been abandoned overnight. One was immediately playful and bounding toward anyone who'd look at them. But the other? She was huddled in the corner, trembling. That was Mia.

I took her home that same day.

I'd always loved animals but had never taken the plunge. The second we made eye contact, I was a goner. From then on, it was just the two of us—for ten whole years.

When her heart gave out, mine broke too. I cried for days. I couldn’t imagine how I was supposed to exist without her. She was more than a pet. She was my emotional support system, especially when life got heavy.

And life has gotten heavy before. I lost my father the same week I started graduate school. Then a month later, I lost my grandmother.

Back then, I handled grief the only way I could—by surviving. But this time, the stress of life compounded the loss. It sent me into a dark place.

My art practice suffered. The daily sketches became once-in-a-blue-moon doodles. Ironically, I’d just created a new character with a sidekick inspired by Mia. I didn’t realize how close to home that would hit until I was in the middle of drafting.

My writing process is usually long and layered—I spend months, sometimes years, plotting and planning before I ever type “Chapter One.” But I always leave room for the unexpected. Characters shift. Endings evolve. The story morphs.

And this time? That Mia-inspired sidekick character became essential. Their relationship with the main character deepened, rooted in emotional support and unspoken understanding. The story, which had started off light and whimsical, took on richer, more bittersweet layers.

The result? A story that still makes me laugh—but now, also makes me cry in the best ways. It’s stronger. More real.

That grief also shaped my edits for The Obsidian Throne Series: Edge of Darkness. There’s a character in Book 1 who’s navigating profound loss. I didn’t fully grasp their pain until I was swimming through my own. Editing those scenes felt raw. But right. It sharpened the emotional truth.

Grief changes us. And we all move through it differently.

Some days, I still forget she’s gone and turn around expecting her to be there. Some nights, the silence in my apartment is so loud it aches.

I joke sometimes that I hyperfixate on writing because it’s one thing I can control when everything else feels out of control. But honestly? I’m just grateful I have writing at all. That I can take heartbreak and somehow turn it into something that helps me move forward.

I’m not “over” the grief. I don’t think I ever will be. But I’m writing through it. And that’s something.

— Indigo Winter

[indigowinterauthor]

on the road to publishing (and holding onto hope)

I’ve officially entered the querying trenches.

The first round of literary agent submissions has been sent, and let me tell you—it’s a weird mix of excitement, dread, and quiet hope. Pressing send on those queries was like handing over pieces of my soul wrapped up in a Word document. I’ve spent years writing Edge of Darkness, and now I’m asking, essentially, “Hey, would you like to represent this very personal thing I made?”

No pressure, right?

Before I even started querying, I spent months researching agents—cross-referencing MSWLs, interviews, agency websites, Twitter threads. I wanted to make sure I was reaching out to people who might actually love my story, not just tolerate it.

Some agents I’ve heard back from. Some are still silent. Some probably won’t ever respond. And I knew this would happen. I prepared for it. But even knowing doesn’t make it easy. Rejection still stings—even the polite kind.

But here’s the thing: Just like I have to push through the tough writing days, I have to keep going with this too. Another round of agent research. Another batch of query letters. Another deep breath.

I never thought this would be easy. I didn’t go in assuming the first agent I queried would say yes. In fact, I’m fully expecting this to take years. Maybe many years. Maybe it never happens the way I imagine.

And yeah—self-publishing is always an option. It’s quicker, in many ways. But for me, traditional publishing is still the path I want to try first. That’s not shade to anyone who goes the indie route (honestly, it’s a lot of work and I admire the hell out of those who do it). It just comes down to what works best for you—and for me, that means exploring this path for now.

At the end of the day, I write because these stories live in me. And I think they’re worth sharing. Even if it takes a while to find the right door to knock on.

So, I guess I should stop rambling and get back to writing. After all, there’s always another story waiting to be told. 🌒

— Indigo Winter

[indigowinterauthor]

Let's Dive into Creativity

As a creative writer of fiction, I am passionate about sharing my unique writing process and journey with you. This space is where I invite you to explore the world of storytelling and creativity. Join me as I unravel the art of crafting compelling narratives and delve into the depths of imagination. Together, we can embark on a literary adventure that will ignite your passion for fiction writing.