infiniteorangethethird - Tumblr blog

[infiniteorangethethird]

[infiniteorangethethird]

Post: (Talks about loveless aro)

Some fuckass in the notes: 'Umm actually, love isn't JUST romantic—' 'Umm, but being queer is about love :/'

SHHHHH SHUSH YOU NEED TO HUSH — Whatever you're trying to say, we already know, us loveless aros heard them WAYY too many times, just shut it. Is it so hard to process the fact some folks just don't feel "love" in general

[infiniteorangethethird]

a huge problem of why loveful folks can’t accept that lovespecs(? i’ve never seen others use this term but i’m going to) exist is their association that “love = care/kindness” so when they learn others don’t experience love or do so in a different way, it’s wrong because “so you’re saying you don’t care about anyone? so you aren’t kind to anyone and hate everyone? you’re just an emo edgelord that never grew out of their teen phase”

love ≠ care/kindness/respect/etc. love means “i feel x emotion” which is irrelevant to how you treat others—you’re more likely to be nice to others when you love them, but that isn’t always the case: love can cause abuse, love can cause stalking, etc.

“but that isn’t real love!!” imagine if someone hurt someone and got joy from that, and you claimed “but that’s fake happiness! real happiness comes from doing good things!” you sound ridiculous, right? because even tho the person is happy they did something wrong, that doesn’t mean their happiness isn’t real—we know this person is happy about doing a bad thing, but that doesn’t discredit happiness in general. we can acknowledge this person is genuinely happy while also knowing what they did is wrong, because “happy ≠ i did a good thing/something good happened to me”

so why can’t you apply this to love? why is love this untouchable, otherworldly being everyone likes to pretend is the source of humanity? it isn’t: it’s an emotion. when someone is a victim of abuse and you tell them “that wasn’t real love,” you’re discrediting their experience and creating a harmful idea that if a person loves you, they cannot hurt you, which is bullshit. victims of abuse can (and often do) genuinely love their abuser, and abusers can also genuinely love who they’re abusing. love isn’t this morally perfect emotion, and to dwindle it down to “love is good” is a toxic mindset

and you don’t need love to care about or respect someone. let’s say you’re talking to a cashier. you’re polite to them and if asked, you’d say you don’t want something bad to happen to them. by loveful’s logic, this means you love them, which probably isn’t the case. what about strangers you pass on the street? are you kind to them, and if someone fell on the sidewalk would you help them up? that’s kindness and respect, not love. i, and many others, don’t love the strangers we walk next to, but that doesn’t mean we want to shoot them all in the head or for something bad to happen to them

you don’t need love to be a good person, and tbh, i hope you’re only reason for being nice to others isn’t because your emotions tell you to be. if you’re only respectful to folks when you love them, then i doubt lovespecs are the bad guys here

[infiniteorangethethird]

Please tell me other people do this please tell me I’m sane

[infiniteorangethethird]

eroticism of the machine this, eroticism of the machine that. what about the AROMANTICISM of the machine. what about the electric comfort of looking at a beautiful turbine engine and knowing that it is just like you. what about the urge to cut open your chest to prove your heart is made of wires and your ribs are made of steel. what about that

[infiniteorangethethird]

I always find it interesting that the same discomfort ppl have when I talk abt being a loveless aroace emerges when I tell them I don’t like music

I am not kidding when I say people respond the EXACT same way. They’ll start naming genres or songs or artists or asking if I’ve had certain musical experiences or tell me how it’s weird bc music is a part of being human. Often times too they’ll ask if what I’m saying is really true or if I’m just trying to be quirky/contrarian.

Idk I think maybe we should be spending more time teaching people that no matter how universal they think one of their experiences is, there are very likely people who don’t have those experiences. And that’s okay. We should be taught to have more open minds to listen to how others experience life

[infiniteorangethethird]

it would be REALLY cool if charactrs in media that are heavily implied to be aroace actually stay as aroace instead of them finding the right person and they end up having sex either way . idk just a thought

[infiniteorangethethird]

Sometimes I hate having only allo people in my life. I can't rant to them about being frustrated at everyone's obsession with and prioritisation of sex and romance because everyone relates more with that obsession and will always only ever defend it.

And obviously I get that but I hate it because I always have to be the one to get the others perspective. I always have to understand where everyone else is coming from and noone ever bothers with actually understanding my perspective

This is literally the only place where I won't just get reactions alon the lines of "but you have to understand that everyone being obsessed with sex and prioritising romantic partners is normal and you just have to deal with it because you're not normal for not being that way"

[infiniteorangethethird]

i hope everyone with a para who's a doctor has an amazing day!!

^^^^^

[infiniteorangethethird]

epic aro sculpture i did for class

the heart is made out of plastic bags wrapped with tape, so it's squishy ^_^ and the knife is qtips hot glued together. the knife is also removable!

[infiniteorangethethird]

Allos can also have QPRs. Btw. In case you thought it was an aspec-only event. Or romance light. It's neither. And you can have one if you want.

[infiniteorangethethird]

Source

Want more info? Here ya go: 

This Biology Teacher Disproved Transphobia With Science 

ALSO:

Sex redefined

“The idea of two sexes is simplistic. Biologists now think there is a wider spectrum than that.”

More on anti-trans arguments as bad science

[infiniteorangethethird]

i pity people who say “yeah it’s nice to see these two characters as friends but their relationship becomes so much more meaningful if you see them as romantic.” how has the dredges of the amanormative world poisoned you this bad? have you never had a friend or wanted a friend who changed your life for the better? or if you do i feel bad for them because of so obviously little you value them

[infiniteorangethethird]

aromanticism deserves to be celebrated outside of the context of asexuality.

aromanticism deserves to be accepted and discussed without even mentioning asexuality.

aromantic allosexuality deserves to be celebrated.

aromanticism, on its own, with nothing else added, is fucking awesome.

[infiniteorangethethird]

being ADHD is like, you procrastinate things that are hard.

you also procrastinate things that would take five seconds.

you just straight up don't want to do things.

[infiniteorangethethird]

it really is so uncomfortable being a trans man in cis centric conversations of feminism. I just wonder. do they know about people like me? do they care? if I brought it up to them, how would they react? Do they expect me to be their human shield?

[infiniteorangethethird]

I hope everyone with a para that has been possessed has a great day