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[inkinoverse]

I do not like the feeling of starting over — rediscovering pieces of me over again just so people can learn me.

But with you, Kino, I’m willing to let you study my mind, my heart, and my soul with no hesitations at all. I am willing to give you the cheat sheet into the nakedness of my thoughts.

I’m willing to tell you stories from the moment I can remember that this is how things go.

I’m willing to tell you my day — slow mornings, tensed recitations, and laughs I produced through the afternoon.

And, I don’t mind at all.

I won’t mind the rediscovery, especially when you’re the one who’ll discover me.

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“Maybe the universe fights for certain souls to find one another,”

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“Thank God for plot twists like you.”

I am no angel. I often say these words because it is true. I can say that I’m a sinner — but, we all are. But the moment that I stepped inside this cathedral, all I can think about is how I’ll deliver my wishes for you by kneeling and praying to the heart. Hoping that He’d tower over you and protect you; that’s the only thought running inside my head while my eyes are closed.

It wasn’t bizarre at all. Praying. But, it was not an everyday occurrence to me. It was rare considering that I do not usually follow the religious tradition dotingly. Yet, I was still down to try because I remember you saying that you felt closer to Him now. And, I want to take all the chances just so I can make you feel how much I like you.

Even through prayer.

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I think I like life.

I always look forward to waking up and doing my routine.

When our paths crossed, I still look forward to waking up.

But this time, with a smile — knowing that you’ll be there, greeting me in the morning. That is just a little gesture that feels big to me.

I love looking forward to hear your voice that hugs me gently and tenderly.

I love looking forward to hear how’s your day going.

I love how you value the little things I tell you and how I list all the things you tell me.

This list may go on, but one thing’s certain — I love how my life’s looking now, certainly because you’re right here with me.

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“‘Because I know you,’ he says tenderly. ‘and I remember what you sound like when you like something.’”

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“All I want is to call your name and be intertwined.”

I have always been a fan of long car travels because I enjoyed seeing the scenery while my head’s leaning against the window. I find it comforting to the extent that this song is specifically played when the travel starts to get dark and the twinkling lights illuminate the skyline. When everything, to me, becomes less chaotic.

Now, I play this song whenever I think of you. Because you are my comfort. God, you bring more than comfort.

There’s something about you that hypnotizes me — probably your scent, your words, or really. . . it’s just your existence that sends me into this paradigm of never pulling away from your axis. And, I love that.

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I find it funny when you tell me to not like you anymore. ( that is impossible, even the heavens cannot make me do such thing )

Most of the times that you know how my mind works, but I don’t think you know how much I like you.

That this is not just a mere infatuation, nor something that bore after intimacy, and especially not because you’re the only one there.

Even if I am placed in a room full of people who used to inhabit my heart, I am sure that I will run towards you.

To you, I can fall and be fine. I cannot get hurt. Even if you tell me that you’ll end up hurting me. I get to decide that and to me, you deserve what I give you.

And certainly, I would never again bleed myself dry because you make me feel alive.

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“You do not know how fast you’ve been running, how hard you have been working, how truly exhausted you are, until someone stands behind you and says, ‘It’s okay, you can fall down. I’ll catch you.’”

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“To you I can admit, that I’m too soft for all of it.”

I can still remember the time that you were holding me intently — like I am some artifact, not reduced to it, but more like a new discovery. I am used to crying on somebody’s shoulder when I feel down, or sometimes just feeling it alone like I am sort of a sponge. I have always been used to the mere thought that the world is harsh enough that I have to built this cathedral of strong will because I cannot always be on bended knees.

But when you held me tight, I did not feel like crying. Not even a drop of tear. Not even a thought. I was waiting for sadness to kick in, but all I remember is how you held me gently — in serene and in harmony.

One thing is guaranteed, I want to soften. In your touch, in your embrace, and within your reach.

To you and with you, I can show you how soft I get and I do not mind because you appreciate me that way. I can finally let my walls crumble upon me and I would not complain because all I needed is someone to see through me — that I am not this hellbent façade. Your lingering presence is such a keen and miraculous feeling that brought me to sanity that I struggled to grasp while staying in a disposition.

Kino, I hope you stay in my universe because I am more than willing to unravel much more of what I have lost just so you can see through me and feel why I am magnetized to your existence.