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Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

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24-hour readathon summary

First time I attempted this and I don't think it will be the last! I haven't had such a productive day of reading in a while, haha. Here's the list of books I read:

En finir avec Eddy Belleguele by Édouard Louis ★★★★☆ This was the chosen book for the local bookshop book club I'm in, and I'm glad to have read it! I read the Swedish translation, and thought Marianne Tufvesson did a good job translating the "working class" language of France into the same kind of jargon in Swedish. The plot itself was heartbreaking and the ending was like a punch to the stomach, in a bittersweet kind of way. I'm interested in reading more of Louis' work, for sure.

Witch Hat Atelier vol. 13 by Kamome Shirahama ★★★★☆ This beautifully illustrated manga continues to entertain!

Lullabies by Lang Leav ★★☆☆☆ This is very much a "it's not you, it's me" situation. I can imagine really liking this collection of poetry 10 years ago. However, right now the poems do not resonate with me.

Kowloon Generic Romance vol. 2 by Jun Mayuzuki ★★★★☆ I had to quickly go back and read the first volume of this since it had been a while since I read it--but I liked this continuation! Some of the scenes are still somewhat painfully sexualized but the plot and the art are still amazing. The somewhat nostalgic yet uncomfortable feeling of this manga makes it intruiging.

Seven Days in June by Tia Williams ★★★☆☆ A romance with a fun premise and good characters. The ending lost me a bit.

Boys in the Valley by Philip Fracassi ★★★★☆ Very good demonic horror/coming of age-story, though maybe not as scary as other people let me believe?

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you desire love but push away affection? what are you? written by Dostoevsky?

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The great-great-great grandchildren of Dickens take a selfie with him on his 202nd birthday.

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I literally don't want a job. I want to read for 4 days straight

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2023/09/20/emily-wilson-iliad-translation-terms/

emily wilson making me happy :-)

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“All I am is literature, and I am not able or willing to be anything else.”

— Franz Kafka

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"it's concerning if university students are genuinely struggling to read full adult-level books for class" and "don't overstate the reporting of a single news article" and "if this shift is genuinely real, it's reflective of broad curriculum changes in lower education levels, probably at least in part due to remote schooling during COVID, and doesn't mean the new generation is being willfully Stupid and Vapid" and "when reading for personal pleasure people should read whatever they like without shame" and "reading from a broad variety of genres, styles, and authorial backgrounds will improve your understanding of both literature and the real world" and "actively mocking people for their tastes in books does not encourage them to become more adventurous you're just being mean" and also "but seriously adult books are not just boringly pretentious nothingburgers padded with pointless sex scenes, and claiming they are just shows how little you've read" all can and should co-exist.

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another cool thing is when you devour a book over the course of a handful of hours and it fucks you up and you just have to lie on the couch feeling like your brain went swimming for too long & only just came up from under the water. art is so good

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Aeschylus’ The Oresteia: Agamemnon (tr. Richmond Lattimore)

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"average greek sea voyage takes eight months" factoid actually just statistical error. sea voyages around greece are very short. Bad-luck Odysseus, who tripped over a monster every five feet, had to sail in loop de loops around greece to avoid various annoyed deities, and took eleven years to sail 565 miles, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

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reading the iliad is like

who is echepolus? who is agenor? who is peirous?

hi odysseus!! hi achilles!!

who is phegeus? who is eurypylus? who is menesthes?

diomedes!! menelaus <33

who is ttepolemus? who is alcandrus? who is opheltius? who is-

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dni unless you have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, all while possessing a certain something in your air and manner of walking, the tone of your voice, your address and expressions-

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Also picking up new books you’ve never heard of before because the premise sounds neat or the cover is pretty or it’s on a themed library display or you’re just trying to read your library’s entire catalogue of 90s cyberpunk is just fun. Sometimes it’s not your thing but you get to mull over new ideas or the diversity of people and opinions and thoughts in the world. Sometimes you discover your new favorite book of all time

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I'm reading Boye's Kallocain for the first time because I want to use it for my third-year students (it's not very long and is a modernistic dystopian classic, so hopefully they won't find the language too tedious and old-fashioned) and it really reminds me that I should spend more time reading Swedish literature.

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The friendship between Bingley and Elizabeth is the best thing ever

I didn’t notice this until my latest read through of pride and prejudice, but toward the end of the book there’s this adorable detail with Elizabeth and Bingley that I absolutely MUST share. So Lizzy and Mr Darcy get engaged during that one walk, and Bingley comes over to visit the next morning and has to subtlety congratulate her because the engagement is still a secret. He beams and says “Mrs Bennet, have you no more lanes hereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again to-day?” This is cute for two reasons because one, he’s so happy for her, and two, it shows he’s started calling her by the family nickname, Lizzy! Like he has always been friends with her, but now he fully considers her family. He is so happy to have her as a sister by marrying Jane, and now even more so because she is marrying his best friend.