inkynights-blog

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The sight of Eggman without a mustache should be illegal

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wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

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Everyone else will read this first

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i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

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Las leyes de la física son inquebrantables.

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IF YOU ARE UNMARRIED, DON'T HAVE KIDS, AND HATE YOUR PARENTS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE A FUCKING WILL

this has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood probate lawyer

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These are times I wish i was not on earth.

An older gentleman came into the nature center and asked me a bunch of questions about tarantulas. Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture.

“My son is a DNR officer in Arizona,” he said. “He found this tarantula with a tail in his house. Do you know what species it is?”

I looked at the photo, but from six feet away it was difficult to understand what I was seeing. I had him send it to the official park email so that I could take another look at it. Here is my reply:

Upon closer examination, it appears that this is not a tarantula at all. I was happily able to identify it as Manumala noxhydria during the parasitic secondary stage of its lifecycle. It was probably wandering into your son’s house in search of a suitable host. Use caution when approaching. They are considered an invasive species in all parts of the world and are capable of spraying a paralytic chemical into the face of predators and potential hosts. Careful destruction is recommended. For more information regarding pest control, contact species expert Ellen Ripley.

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put in the tags the first thing that comes up when u type “i am,” “i’m not,” “i love,” “i hate,” and “i wish”

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All-in-all, a pretty unfair competition. My website – My Instagram – See me on Webtoon!

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Local dude orders a burger at Starbucks Featuring @the-great-mighty-dick, @scary-boi, @thewabbajackx, @sbh93, @aleksandr-marchant-the-third, @the-realest-asami, @ultramanultimo

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PUT HER WITH KAITLIN BENNET ASHSHDJDHFKFLGG

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the more things change the more they stay the same

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Gather round kids while I explain this manipulation tactic that men perpetually try to use and why it’s bullshit.

If someone is openly showing interest in you by making disparaging or disappointed comments about your age, they’re trying to put you on the defensive. This guy wants me to try to quell his discomfort, to bring up that I’m only a month shy of 20, etc. - he wants me to try to prove myself to him, that I’m mature and adult enough for a man like him.

His goal is to establish a power imbalance right off the bat. If we were to date, I would constantly be on the defensive, constantly striving to be an equal, constantly trying to prove my “adult” credentials. Anything he says or does or wants from this point on that I object to would just be seen as a strike against my age, proof that he was right and that I’m not mature enough for him. This is how SO MANY men pressure younger individuals (primarily women and girls) into situations and relationships they aren’t comfortable with. If he truly thought I was too young for him, he wouldn’t have messaged me. This is a very calculated move, and it’s fucking gross.

Adult relationships with age gaps are completely fine, but only if all parties view each other as equals. If someone is trying to set you up in a way that ensures that’s never a possibility, run far away.

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LEGO - Rubber Duck 

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