inocent-doodles

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the two fundamental truths of historical and contemporary mankind:

we were just as smart then as we are now

we are just as stupid now as we were then

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My cats wanted to fight again and I wasn't letting them but the passion in their eye contact suggests they started fighting telepathically

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Officially licensed Super Mario 64 sunglasses.

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they are so fucking desperate

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Mammoth Gordon Ramsay: Oh, fuck me, you've just thrown a spear into my side. And another! This is fucking ridiculous. Hurts all the more knowing you're going to overcook me too

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The first photo is of an adult, the second is of a juvenile.

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Basic life stuff on Father’s Day your dad may have never taught you

Men’s pants often have what’s called vanity sizing so a 32 inch waist between different brands is actually different sometimes. It’s still a good idea to try the pants on before you buy them.

A flathead screwdriver can be used on a Phillips head screw.

It’s always morally correct to simply walk away from a salesman. You don’t need to buy a mattress to be polite. Just leave. Walk away. Skedaddle.

A complete meal has fat, protein, carbs, and some kind of fruit or vegetable. A snack should have carbs and protein. That’s how you stay full for longer and get your vitamins. It’s really that simple.

Dumpster diving is legal in many countries including the US, Canada, and Australia but trespassing and property damage are illegal. If you are allowed to be in an area and can access the trash without breaking anything you can just take stuff

You should be thinking about retirement savings even in your 20s and 30s. Get a mutual fund.

If you go gambling, only spend cash and pull out exactly as much money as you’re willing to lose from the atm. Never use a credit card in a casino if you can avoid it.

You can add a layer of seasoning to a cast iron skillet right on the stove. You don’t actually have to put it in the oven every time.

To build a fire, build a little pile of kindling first with plenty of air under it. This can be sticks or leftover wood from the hardware store. Doesn’t matter. Then light some newspaper or leaves under it. This’ll help the kindling catch on fire. Then you can add a log to it. The log needs a long exposure to flames before it catches on fire.

Fresh cut wood needs to dry out for several months before it’ll work as either building material or firewood. Several years is even better.

Flower delivery for simple bouquets costs less than you think it does and makes a nice gift for people who are hard to shop for

University libraries often let the general public get a card to check things out from them for a yearly fee. This is useful to know if you’re ever doing some specific research.

To make hard boiled eggs easier to peel boil them with just barely enough to cover and let a lot of the water burn off. Then shock them in an ice bath when they’re done.

If you or your pets end up killing a venemous snake by accident or in self defense you should bury the head so that no animals get poisoned by it because the fangs can still distribute venom

Tall people who visit your house can see the tops of your cabinets and bookshelves. Clean accordingly if you don’t want people to see dust.

Annuals are plants that will die after one year and perennials are plants that live for multiple years

If you feel gross and like your life sucks maybe try getting a haircut

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Beautiful older woman at the party asks me why such a cute kitten like myself wears a collar despite having no master and I, in turn, ask her if she knows what a Ronin is.

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The most dramatic moment during my Camp Counseling career at an all girls camp was when a girl got a letter from a friend saying that Zac Efron had died and one of her bunkmates ran out of the cabin and shouted “ZAC EFRON IS DEAD!!!!!” and the camp immediately fell into chaos girls were crying in the middle of camp and running around spreading the news everyone was yelling and the counselors had to look up wether or not Zac Efron was dead (this is a wireless camp so the girls couldn’t access the internet and check for themselves) and then get out a megaphone and be like “ZAC EFRON IS NOT DEAD PLEASE REMAIN CALM” outside of all the cabins it was insanity. 

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illegal immigration is swag and epic and i salute everyone who does it. personally i think if you can afford to move somewhere you should be allowed to live there no questions asked. actually even if you cant afford it, it's not like i can afford to live here either. who give a shit.

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Whoa you were one of the interpreters for the Crit Role Sydney show? :O

How was the experience if you don't mind me asking? Interpreting an unscripted nine person cast with crosstalk and fantasy terms seems like it would be a challenge

Hey there! Yes, that was me 🤩

As a D&D fan, it was one of the most fun experiences of my career.

Unfortunately I was a bit late to the Critical Role train, and I never joined later on as I found it as a piece of media very large and intimidating, but I've been a D&D player since high school, and a Dimension 20 and Baldur's Gate fan. Please accept my back tattoo as proof of my credentials.

Working to interpret the show was me and two other interpreters who put in a lot of work before and during the show to make sure that our audience of 3 Deaf Critters were able to access the show all night. As the D&D super fan, I had to prepare some common vocab for the different skill checks and classes that exist in the game. Especially for the character classes, they don't exist in Auslan but I took inspiration from other Deaf D&D fans who use ASL and BSL. I recorded a video of that and sent it to my fellow interpreters and to the one Deaf Critter I was aware was coming.

During the show, we chose to have only one interpreter "on" at a time. After watching the London show recording, I noticed that barring a few moments of cross talk, the cast don't really talk over each other much, and give plenty of pauses between lines of dialogue, especially when Matt is narrating during scene setting. Having one interpreter meant that we had to "roleshift" by moving our body to different angles to show which character was speaking.

We worked in 15 minute blocks, so we got to have 30 minute breaks when not actively interpreting, but I was watching my co-interpreters the entire time to help prompt with different terms or signs they may need help with, as they weren't as au fait with all the fantasy terms as me.

The Melbourne show is also being interpreted by a team of 3 interpreters who are all D&D fans, and I've made sure to give them as much of a rundown as I can so they can do the best job they can during that show too. I hope it's a good one and I can't wait to hear how it goes! 🤩

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“Circulation Desk,” Lori Nix Photography

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was in a work (i work for a river conservation organization) call today and someone said he had an idea for a work pride event, i said ‘does it have to do with rainbow trout?’ bc what else would it be. he asked how i could possibly know that and my supervisor says ‘sterling has experience with that kind of thing, target audience’ hello?????????

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Chicago guys are always like did you really just put ketchup on that hot dog instead of minced garlic, sesame seeds, relish, Polish sausage bits, coleslaw, frosting, pasta sauce, potato wedges, a quarter cup of chocolate chips, grilled sport peppers, celery salt, almond extract, mayo, lettuce, cheese, EXTRA ONION, a shot of malort, whole tomato, mustard, pickle spears, and a little hat from Portillo’s?

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MAHA is complete bullshit. Nutjob fan fiction.

RFK Jr is a national embarrassment.