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imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow

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a comic based on ‘autoclave’ by the mountain goats to celebrate tma s5

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I am dying to do a word-by-word analysis of Jon and Martin’s arguments in 161 because it’s some of the best canon relationship writing I’ve come across.  Both of them showed SO MUCH development and growth even as they disagree with each other in a near-stalemate.  

When was the last time Jon was able to speak to another person so openly about his deepest emotions, his most painful vulnerabilities?  Ever?  TMA 81 was the first time he told the story of Mr. Spider aloud, meaning that his entire life he kept his deepest trauma and the source of so many of his life choices secret from everyone he knew.  He certainly never used to be this open with his grandmother.  He’s baring his soul to Martin because he trusts him with it in a way he’s never trusted before.

And then there’s Martin, “the Lonely always had me,” who lived in denial all his life about how much his own family hated him, who never grew close to anyone and was forced to live a charade out of desperation–  hearing “I love you” and taking it so easily, without a hint of surprise or denial because he’s heard it from Jon now so many times.  It’s a truth he can trust in a world where he can’t trust his own senses.  The world has ended, but he is loved, he is cherished, he is protected.

And then there’s the matter of their disagreement, and how both of them are right in their own way:

Jon wants to stay in place because he has two things to lose:  himself, and Martin.  He’s clinging to his sense of self here in the eye of the hurricane, flooded with intrusive thoughts from the Beholding forcing its way into his mind, forcing him to feed on and enjoy the agony around him, even Martin’s nightmares, while making him powerless to help.  How can he fix the world if he can’t even wake Martin up when he cries in his sleep?  He clings to his grief and his guilt and the past because he wants to stay himself and not get lost in the monstrosity the Beholding is still dragging him towards against his will.  Martin sees it as unhealthy dwelling, but this is far from an everyday situation.

Martin doesn’t want to stay because he can’t handle inaction.  He planned and plotted for the worm attack, he pushed Jon to eat lunch (successful) and get therapy (unsuccessful) and arranged the intervention, he threw Elias in jail, he traded his life away to protect the others.  He’s always been plan and act, plan and act–he doesn’t want to be “Martin Blackwood was afraid, and then he died.”  He doesn’t want to be the one standing around with a cup of tea hoping for things to get better, and now he can’t even do that.  You can hear the underlying bitter resignation to “I’m good at waiting,” but it’s something he’s still willing to compromise on for Jon’s sake.  Meanwhile Jon doesn’t want to throw Martin to the wolves and lose his own sense of identity pursuing a quest that seems so impossible.

Jon lashes out one time, and Martin sticks up for himself, and Jon immediately apologizes.  They didn’t become perfect overnight, and are under unimaginable stress, so those slip-ups are going to happen; it’s how they react to them is what defines their relationship.  They’re flawed and human and realistic, each with conflicting coping mechanisms and varied traumas and needs, but their love for each other underscores every moment.  

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sex education season 2, episode 4

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rengoku bros

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A picture in 365 slices. Each slice is one day of the year.

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Credit: @Pet_Foolery

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“The way we were first loved and the ways we have been loved ever since form our definition of what love means to us. Some people really feel loved when someone gives them a gift. Others experience it when people stand up for them. Still others feel loved when someone goes the extra mile to help them. If our mother showed love by holding us in our pain or joy, without engulfing or controlling us, that will be the behavior that always feels like love to us. We feel love now as we first received it; we give love the way others gave it to us. Thus, since love is unique to each person, we read and write love, receive and give it, in the style designed by our past experience. Yet, like good handwriting, our unique signature can be read by others.””

— David Richo, How to Be an Adult in Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly (via thewriterscaravan)

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cheat code

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No listen. The very concept of sambucky is honestly so fucking wild.

I mean. Imagine you're driving captain fucking America and his tiny angry ginger friend somewhere when some metallic hobo goes absolutely Apeshit on your one (1) car.

then tries to kill all three of you. and he rips your fucking wheel out. and destroys your fucking windows. Maybe makes it explode too idk. Your insurance doesn't cover bastard terminators.

And then to make things better!!! you CAN'T EVEN KILL HIM. OR IDK PUT HIM IN BAD SOLDIER PRISON?? BECAUSE YOUR MESSY, MESSY BRO REALISES THE ASSASSIN IS HIS LONG LOST BOYFRIEND???? WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD??? HMM WHAT.

and THEN your dumb blonde himbo who you perhaps have a slight crush on just LETS his murder husband go because he's stupid and gay like that, and murderboy goes into hiding for like. 2 years. You develop a deep hatred for him and his stupid face.

You buy a new car.

You are now broke. But it's ok you have avenger privileges now.

You miss your car nonetheless.

Oh but then the fuckimg GOVERNMENT gets involved in your love life for some dumbshit reason and YOUR STUPID PET HIMBO TELLS YOU THAT THE ASSHAT WHO MADE YOU BUY A NEW FUCKIN CAR (IN THIS ECONOMY???) NEEDS SAVING AGAIN. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IN THE HELL. WHAT TH- anyway fuck him and his plums and his greasy unwashed-for-70smthn-years hair.

You don't know what Steve sees in him.

I mean, at least now you're free to hate him for reasons that aren't sheer homealousy (homosexual Jealousy). So there's that.

You won't move your seat up for him because you still have your dignity. You try not to stare at his face in the rearview mirror and you fail.

You hate his guts.

but wait it gets better!!!! You're all FUCKING WAR CRIMINALS NOW and you've gotta move to WAKANDA which is actually a Hella cool place BUT STILL. And oh no assassinface here actually looks really cute in wakandan clothing. It's not him though. it's the clothes. You are sure of that.

Your feelings are confusing. You tolerate him now but that's it. The fact that your heart does kickflips when he smiles means nothing.

You convince yourself that it beats faster when he's around because of sheer rage.

Then some big ass ugly purple grape pulls some weird shit but whatever it's nbd he's an inconvenience at best. The Real villain here is your STUPID GOLDEN RETRIEVER BROFLAKE WHO??? WENT BACK IN TIME FOR VINTAGE PUSSY??? WHAT IN THE GODDAMN-

Plus he left his raccoon soulmate absolutely Heartbroken but it's ok because you're hear to pick up the pieces. Wipe his tears. Give him a hug or two. Or eighty seven. (no homo)

(Unless?)

after that you both resolve to get over his raisin ass because you have each other. F is for friends who support each other and would take a bullet for each other and cook for each other and confide in each other in the middle of the night about the demons that plague them. You are both friends. You don't know how it happened but you like it.

But you also sort of don't like it. Your feelings are being confusing again. But that's a problem for another day, you're about to catch a movie and then get dinner with him. This is not a date.

You wear your best jeans anyway.

The two of you move in together (oh my god you're roommates). Missions suddenly become a lot more scarier because you don't want him getting hurt. He screamed at you for an hour once when you took down a shooter while you were unarmed.

U is for Unresolved Sexual Tension. Also Sharon is there.

One day. After staying up all night, just talking about stuff you don't even remember. And Yearning.

you wake up and realise you're just. Really fucking gay for him.

And he is too?? So that works. You get married eventually and adopt 8 kids and a dog. N is for Nuclear Family But Make It Giant.

And all this started because he rammed his fist through your windshield.

wild.

(he still hasn't paid for your fucking car)

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James Gurney / Dinotopia

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“I don’t think we’re born with a natural tendency to protect the environment. I think it’s something we learn if we’re educated and brought up to have the manners to care for the world. At some stage in our lives, the greed factor became stronger, and that has led us to the horrible situation we’re in now. A CHANGE IS NECESSARY, and I believe my films convey that.“ - Hayao Miyazaki

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no man is an island

there’s a hole where your heart lies, and i can see it with my third eye, and though my touch it magnifies.

playlist by me, cover art by @yumbles

link

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this is too real though