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i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

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i really want people to stop writing scientists as awkward, stilted conversationalists who don't understand idioms or emotions and start writing them as depressed alcoholics who swear like sailors unless they're in a specifically academic situation

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ch 3 weird route spoilers

hey do we as a fandom have a name for the little shadow creature that gives us the mantle? cause i've been rotating every single line of its dialogue really rapidly in my brain but i can't even write a proper essay about it because i don't know what this fucking thing is called.

anyway.

"...no, part of you is just enjoying this, isn't it? the same part of you that enjoyed yesterday. knowing you could say it wasn't really you."

that's all

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dialogue you write when you are singlehandedly carrying the tumblr sexyman industry

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Crazy thing about #healing #recovery Small Victories is when you'll have some shit going on that's like, saying this would involve admitting how you used to be doing. You know? Like hey guys good news I'm gonna change my bedsheets this year

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A friend, recently: I have more chocolate than god, right now.

Me: so ... you have a lot of chocolate? Or, like ... do you just not have a lot of god?

Friend: I have a modest amount of chocolate and precisely zero god.

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op turned off blogs on one of my favorite posts so here it is again

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INDEED.COM IS A BASTION OF DECEPTION AND DEVILRY

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"intermission" is a pretty good name for the stretches of road between courses in mario kart world, like it's both an intermission in the sense of a break between races and literally "inter-mission" in the sense that it's between two "missions".

but really since an individual race track is a "course" not a "mission" it should be called an

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“This pupper has 0% athletic skills, but he’s still 100% good boy”

(via)

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There’s always something on Reddit

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i was streaming this for a friend and he suggested i put the ASS using the 3 letters because it's a classic thing for people to do at arcades but neither of us knew susie was programmed to do it too and she had a special response to it

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Speef is real to me. I'm sorry for that.

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There are two fashionable wolves inside of me and one is industrial crust punk goth and the other is an old timey vaudeville hobo clown and that’s why I wear the same jeans and hoodie combo every day of my life

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If I had a normal relationship with food and alcohol and drugs and sex and sexuality and money. Then I would probably feel a lot better

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“i never said it’s good i said i like it” couldn’t be me. every piece of media i’ve ever been into is masterfully created, the epitome of high art