insid3my-mind-blog

[insid3my-mind-blog]

I️ looked at you for the first time in a while and I️ didn’t wanna kiss you. I️ slept by myself for the first time in a while and didn’t miss your touch. I️ listened to our song for the first time in a while and I️ didn’t get upset. I sat in the shower for the first time in a while and didn’t cry.

I think im making progress

[insid3my-mind-blog]

I miss having someone to talk to everyday. I miss having someone to make happy. I miss having someone to make food for, and do laundry for. I miss having someone to surprise with new shoes or clothes. I miss having someone who’s my whole world. I miss having someone who needed me as much as I need them.

[insid3my-mind-blog]

i feel like i’m drowning

and i don’t wanna be saved

[insid3my-mind-blog]

it’s sad, you know..

it’s sad because it’s true. it’s sad because you were everything to me, and you’re gone. it’s sad because i miss you.

i miss your smile. i miss your hugs. i miss your kisses. i miss your laugh. i miss you hands. i miss your touch. i miss you. i miss us.

i love you so much. but i’m teaching myself to let you go.

[insid3my-mind-blog]

there’s something about the sky. something about the sun and the clouds. the sun is such a beautiful thing. it keeps us warm and helps us grow. but the clouds. the clouds hide the sun sometimes, and take the warmth from us. even though the clouds hide the sun, which takes the warmth and growth from us, the clouds are beautiful. and even if they’re there all the time, we still have that small amount of sun. i love the sky. i love the sun. i love the clouds. i love the sun because it represents my heart, and i love the cloud because they represent my feelings. just because my feelings get in the way, my heart is still warm & helps me grow. i’m in love sky. i’ve fallen more and more in love with the sky, because i’m not in love with you anymore

[insid3my-mind-blog]

on September 19th, 2017; i was looking through my computer and i came across a couple of you. it hurts me now because i know you don't love me the same as you did before. you don't see who you saw before, you don't know me anymore. you say i was heartless towards you, and that i never treated you well. me, i thought i was doing great. i know i said things that could have hurt you, i know i was controlling and i tried to make you feel like a terrible person sometimes. but, i want you to know that deep down i never wanted you to change. you were perfect, you still are. i look at you today, and all i see is my mistakes and how much i fucked up. damn, i wish i could do it all over again and make things right. i was terrible. i made you feel terrible and i see that now. the saying "you don't know what you have till it's gone" is 100% true. because, i didn't know. i didn't think you'd ever leave. but i know now that it is true, and that you left. i look at you and all i wanna do is cry, because i'm still so in love with you, and you're completely over me. and it's all my fault. i hope you find someone who's willing to give you as much as you once gave me. i love you Jared Gresham, always and forever babe. 11.1.13.

[insid3my-mind-blog]

He said he was sorry, but that wasn't good enough. As her eyes filled with tears, her heart started to ache. She couldn't believe it, she didn't want too. It felt like a nightmare that she couldn't escape from. She never felt this feeling before, the feeling of her heart breaking. She hated him, so much but just looking at him changed her mind. She loved him, she always has. She feared that after this, she'd never love him the same, but she did. Her heart ached as she thought of this everyday. It never left her mind, no matter how much she tried to forget it. Just a couple months after that day, he said goodbye. He coudn't handle her any longer. She hated herself for this, because she never thought he'd say goodbye and mean it. He said he'd love her forever, but his forever seemed to be alot shorter than hers. She misses him everyday, but he's already forgotten about her. He's forgotten about their life together. She's so lost, and scared. She knows that throughout their short amount of time together, she'll never love somebody as much as she loved him. She gave him her whole life, all of her love. She wanted them to grow together, to learn together, learn to love more together. She never imagined loosing him. She never knew how she'd handle it, but she also knows, he said goodbye that day, because of her. She knows now, that in the past everything had been her fault. She treated him like he was her child, and he couldn’t take it anymore. She only wanted the best for him, because she loved him. She watched him grow up, and turn into someone she was so proud of. Being able to watch the boy you love turn into a man is a wonderful experience, just ask her.

[insid3my-mind-blog]

i hate you so much just because i love you so much more. you hurt me so much and i dont know how i will never forgive, and forget. you’ve been my love for the past four years. you’ve changed so much, grown so much. nothing in this world will ever compare to the way you make me feel, or the way you hurt me. i would never hurt you, i would never make you cry but it seems as if thats the only thing you do to me. if feels as if all you want out of me is hurt and tears. when all i want out of you is the opposite. I love you more than anything, more than i ever could or would love somebody else. id kill for you, but it isnt the same for you, and that hurts. 

[insid3my-mind-blog]

He does realize what he lost. And that’s why he can’t speak to you now.

My brilliant mother (via beschaedigung)

[insid3my-mind-blog]

[insid3my-mind-blog]

all this bullshit lately has got me going crazy..