insides-plus-skin - Tumblr blog

[insides-plus-skin]

[insides-plus-skin]

[insides-plus-skin]

There is no final version of myself. I am in a constant state of change.

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I really stay to myself. I might go out once in a blue moon, but I be at the crib 24/7.

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I prefer my music at the volume where I can’t hear u

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i already have a job and it's called keeping myself alive. why do i have to be employed on top of that

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Ada Limón, from "Territory", Sharks in the Rivers

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The Virgin Suicides (1991)

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I do not embody a loud, eye capturing presence. I fall pleasantly into the background, rarely ever by choice. I am not charming nor confident. I speak mostly when I know I will be heard, which is not often. No one will say I was a joy when I die. There will probably be no one outside of family at my funeral. I have none else to invite to my wedding. I do not think I will ever be intensely and unconditionally loved. I mourn occasionally for this loneliness that washes anew whenever I least want it to. I have made peace with it enough that I am rarely comfortable any way else.

- insides-plus-skin

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I'm sitting in it, no doubt, in this heaviness; burning alive a thousand times a day just to say I miss you.

- insides-plus-skin ||• Things I Can't Say

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You don't always have to have a reason as to why things are the way they are, and I had to learn that differently. When things affected me deeply, I would sit and try to make sense of it all and go into a state of madness when no idea reasonable or remotely understandable surfaced. Sometimes, the reason comes much later. Sometimes, it never does, and that's just the way it is. Moving on is moving on with or without it.

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The people I trust the least are the people I care about the most.

- insides-plus-skin ||• Rinse & Repeat.

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I hate taking deep breaths.

I hate taking deep breaths because I feel the emptiness of my body most then. It is not a refreshing of sorts - as I'm certain it should be - but a sinking, deeper, and deeper into the most broken parts of myself.

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