insomniac7809

[insomniac7809]

[insomniac7809]

Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

[insomniac7809]

Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) | 2024

[insomniac7809]

okay, fine, I’ll do some Dracula comics

[insomniac7809]

Spoons

[insomniac7809]

Cesare...

he is so beautiful and oh so sad

[insomniac7809]

YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME WITH THESE PARALLELS FUNNY CLOWN SHOW

[insomniac7809]

take my white ass to Tampa, FL

[insomniac7809]

now hold on. That’s not right!

[insomniac7809]

I think I may never be sad ever again. There is a statue entitled "Farewell to Orpheus" on my college campus. It's been there since 1968, created by a Prof. Frederic Littman that use to work at the university. It sits in the middle of a fountain, and the fountain is often full of litter. I have taken it upon myself to clean the litter out when I see it (the skimmers only come by once a week at max). But because of my style of dress, this means that bystanders see a twenty-something on their hands and knees at the edge of the fountain, sleeves rolled up, trying not to splash dirty water on their slacks while their briefcase and suit coat sit nearby. This is fine, usually. But today was Saturday Market, which means the twenty or so people in the area suddenly became hundreds. So, obviously, somebody stopped to ask what I was doing. "This," I gestured at the statue, "is Eurydice. She was the wife of Orpheus, the greatest storyteller in Greece. And this litter is disrespectful." Then, on a whim, I squinted up at them. "Do you know the story of Orpheus and Eurydice?" "No," they replied, shifting slightly to sit.

"Would you like to?"

"Sure!"

So I told them. I told them the story as I know it- and I've had a bit of practice. Orpheus, child of a wishing star, favorite of the messenger god, who had a hard-working, wonderful wife, Eurydice; his harp that could lull beasts to passivity, coax song from nymphs, and move mountains before him; and the men who, while he dreamed and composed, came to steal Eurydice away. I told of how she ran, and the water splashed up on my clothes. But I didn't care. I told of how the adder in the field bit her heel, and she died. I told of the Underworld- how Orpheus charmed the riverman, pacified Cerberus with a lullaby, and melted the hearts of the wise judges. I laughed as I remarked how lucky he was that it was winter- for Persephone was moved by his song where Hades was not. She convinced Hades to let Orpheus prove he was worthy of taking Eurydice. I tugged my coat back on, and said how Orpheus had to play and sing all the way out of the Underworld, without ever looking back to see if his beloved wife followed. And I told how, when he stopped for breath, he thought he heard her stumble and fall, and turned to help her up- but it was too late. I told the story four times after that, to four different groups, each larger than the last. And I must have cast a glance at the statue, something that said "I'm sorry, I miss you--" because when I finished my second to last retelling, a young boy piped up, perhaps seven or eight, and asked me a question that has made my day, and potentially my life: "Are you Orpheus?" I told the tale of the grieving bard so well, so convincingly, that in the eyes of a child I was telling not a story, but a memory. And while I laughed in the moment, with everyone else, I wept with gratitude and joy when I came home. This is more than I deserve, and I think I may never be sad again.

Here is the aforementioned statue, by the way.

[insomniac7809]

I mean, if you think about it, a dungeon full of weird porn traps is kind of ideal for a D&D lich. Depending on what specific version of the rules we're talking about, their natural immunities encompass paralysis, poison, ability drain, fatigue, all mind-altering effects, and anything that forces a Fortitude/Constitution save, which notably includes nearly all polymorph effects. They could fill a dungeon with goofy TF traps and hypno shit and not even need to remember what they put where because they're not affected by any of it. Awkward if you ever have non-undead guests, of course, but such is the price of convenience!

[insomniac7809]

Hellminth Necromancer for Nevermoar on Discord

woah mama humina humina

[insomniac7809]

✨🏳️‍⚧️ A short pride comic, hope you’re all well 🏳️‍⚧️✨

[insomniac7809]

He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye.

Xi, Prince of Black Waters, Initiated Graduate of the Academi Scholamance Constellar

For Insomniac on Discord :3

[insomniac7809]

game of DATE EVERYTHING is out and im honored to see the TINGLEVERSE mentioned. still have not heard from the developer but my offer stands: let me know if you want chuck tingle to voice an object. anyway buckaroos are having a great time playing so go check it out THIS PROVES LOVE

[insomniac7809]

mans_life_weasels.jpg

[insomniac7809]

I couldn’t date a tsundere because she’d say something like “I don’t even like you! Hmph!” and then I would run directly in front of the nearest car