instantgoateewitch - Tumblr blog

[instantgoateewitch]

Sitting with lovely little Sheila in the bathroom who is so little and lovely

Idk what's been wrong with me recently but I also do I've spent my entire life desperately trying to forget everything that's ever happened and now that I want to try and process in some lame attempt to heal all im doing is hurting myself

I want to know everything that happened to me I don't want a one off memory of being assaulted or abused or the moments after these things happen I want to know what happened exactly and I whenever I get a memory where I do it's over my entire mental state is over, there's nothing that harsh on my plate right now but every single time I try to reach in and remember these things I just have to die I shoot to being hopeless I shoot to killing myself I shoot to having no idea how I would even be able to function in the world

Yet bc of the position I'm in there's really no healing being done all im doing is triggering myself and reminding me exactly why I can't stand being around all the people I have to be around reminding myself the things they've done to me and how much I have to still smile and say I love you to these same people

I want to be free I want to be free so bad I want to heal and I want to recover but I can't when I'm still stuck in the very thing that hurt me in the first place, now it just hurts worse because I'm strikingly aware of every little thing every time I remind myself

[instantgoateewitch]

Every so often I'm plagued with the ever increasing need and desire to play pocket mortys again but I haven't touched it in Years

[instantgoateewitch]

David byrne in trolls 4 please and broppy wedding

[instantgoateewitch]

Not rn babe I'm scrolling through the club eat Instagram again and praying that I can get some kind of commission so I can get a physical copy of Start

[instantgoateewitch]

The need to finish my other projects vs the insatiable urge to embroider a portrait of David Byrne

[instantgoateewitch]

The best is when I go in and see a bunch of music off of one album so I queue the whole thing bc well the person who made the playlist obviously loves the album and it fit their idea for the playlist so I have to listen to it too

My favorite pass time is to go on Spotify and type a random word or emoji into the search bar then scroll through user made playlists and queue random songs

[instantgoateewitch]

My favorite pass time is to go on Spotify and type a random word or emoji into the search bar then scroll through user made playlists and queue random songs

[instantgoateewitch]

Owl city save me, save me owl city

[instantgoateewitch]

So I've had issues with waking up early for months now and it's progressively gone from waking up at 5am every morning to 2am and I just can't fix it melatonin gummies aren't doing anything the only time I can sleep is when I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open and the only good thing is it's started to happen every night because I'm having 12+ hour days

[instantgoateewitch]

Justin timberlake was such a huge part of my childhood and I've never listened to a single nsync song willingly and since I'm reobsessed I should

[instantgoateewitch]

Save me.... justin timberlake....Save me justin save me

[instantgoateewitch]

Ugh I'm not being listened to in my relationship this is so broppy trolls 2 of me

[instantgoateewitch]

You can rip the album futuresex/lovesounds from my cold dead hands

[instantgoateewitch]

I am once again using this dumbass blog to say whatever I want watch out with minor annoyance