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Reuploading because original pictures were transparent

I’m obsessed with @voiceless-terror post of Jon as a kid investigating the paranormal of Bournemouth.

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this is what Martin has to deal with everyday

(that one scene from megamind because I can’t stop laughing about it)

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s4 is the jon/daisy friendship hour and everyone else suffers for it

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That eHarmony video bio of the woman who is sad she can’t hug every cat in the world, but make it JonMartin. 

Specifically, by sheer luck Martin stumbles onto an ancient dating profile Jon set up in uni when drunk (and promptly forgot about). Jon, 21, London the profile reads next to a pp of Jon with long hair and no creases in his face, and he looks so young and happy and unburdened in the photograph it makes Martin ache.  And then, right below, is a video bio.  Mesmerized, Martin clicks play.

Hello everyone I’m Jon, I’m 21 and this is almost certainly a bad idea but - heh - I have had a bottle of wine and as they say, I will never be this young again, right? a distinctly tipsy Jon is saying into a webcam. Alright, so, my hobbies.  Jon hiccups, once, and a faint dusting of pink sits high on his cheeks, visible even in the blue glow from the computer monitor. No doubt from the wine, but, it makes him look nervous still, vulnerable, makes Martin feel like he is intruding upon something beautiful and sacred and private.

I…LOVE…cats. His breath hitches a little and he pauses, just for a beat to wipe at his eyes.  He clears his throat, says sorry I’m getting emotional, and then proceeds to have a rambling breakdown over how much he loves them and thinks about them all the time; wants to adopt all of them and how sad it makes him to know that he can’t.

And Martin sits there in front of his own computer a decade on, unable to move, unable to breathe.  He wants to give Jon every cat in the world.  He wants to break something.  He wants to be 21 again and respond to this video, to say hello, I love cats too (even though he never has), would you like to get a drink some time?  He wants Jon to wake up.  He wants a simple, happy life, just for the two of them, away from monsters and the end of the world.  He wants.  He wants.

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The best worst shirt ever

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going to italy with the worst gay person you know.

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The archival staff didn’t know each other that much but there was one thing that united them and that was “We are queer and our boss is our token straight boy” jokes. At first it did surprise them that all three of them were queer, but it quickly made them form a sort of solidarity between them, especially because their boss was not only a token straight man who dressed like a teenager trying to look professional but he was also completely oblivious to the fact that his entire staff was gay.

The one who started the jokes was Tim, he told them that he was talking to Jon about a guy that had stood him up and he replied “If I were you I would get better friends” like he hadn’t said multiple times that it was a date. So it became almost a norm that when they took lunch they would just joke with how basic their boss was, going from his outfits to how boring his sex life might be.

Then it happened.

Martin had run out of milk and eggs so he made a quick trip to the market. He was walking through the bread isle when he spot the man, he was wearing a long purple skirt and a black turtleneck, tall platform boots, a nice leather jacket and a shoulder bag with tons of pins of bands and a few pride ones, his hair was not tied up and it reached past his shoulders. Martin was about to let it pass as an “I saw a handsome man and almost dropped my bread on the floor” moment when the man turned his way, and Martin panicked when he recognise the face.

No fucking way that was Jon. But it was, he had dark lipstick and wasn’t wearing his old man glasses, but it was clearly Jon; and it seemed like he had spot Martin too.

Before Martin could even say anything Jon said “You can’t tell anyone about this, if you do I’ll… fire you” and left. He wasn’t even sure if Jon could fire him, but it was better not to temp the devil.

The day after, Jon started avoiding him, so he went on with his life as if nothing had happened. At lunch time he went to the break room like usual and sat with Tim and Sasha. It was going pretty great until Sasha jumped with a Jon joke.

“I’m so sure that his closet is filled with those same pants over and over, like some cartoon character” and Tim added “No, on research he used to sometimes wear a pair of plain jeans, he has some variety”.

Martin went back to the image of Jon in that market, all of what they thought they knew about Jon was a lie, a persona, he had what was possibly the most important information about Jon in his lips but he couldn’t say anything about it.

After that lunch break became a nightmare.

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Yet again Alasdair is giving us that good Peter Lukas content:

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One of my other fun “Jon is hiding his wild uni past” (I mean really, who acts like That without a reason to) concepts is that Jon an internet cryptid and has literally no idea.

I’ve always viewed Georgie as being one of those podcasters that is pretty well known within the community, and has a relatively large following. And she knows that her audience loves hearing any personal anecdotes that relate to the spooky stories she’s telling.

However, a large amount of these stories feature her “boyfriend from uni”. Georgie doesn’t name Jon, because she hasn’t talked to him in a while, and doesn’t know if he’d be okay with it.

Most of her craziest tales involve Jon. Between Georgie’s lack of fear, and Jon’s willingness to throw himself at anything, they got up to some StuffTM.

It becomes a fandom joke that the minute you hear the words “my boyfriend from uni” it’s immediately followed by the Wildest Things. If someone’s telling an outlandish tale they start adding in stuff like “and then I turned, and Georgie Barker’s boyfriend from uni was there-”

A few of her hardcore fans try to visit the places she talks about. One of them accidentally starts a new trend in the fandom when they’re telling a story and say: “so I’m looking at the locked gate, then I decide to pull a Georgie’s boyfriend from uni and climb the fence-”

And so on. But the funniest part is when Jon and Georgie meet up again. At some point he agrees to be on a livestream or something and everyone sees that Georgie’s boyfriend from uni is Jon, a library that gained sentience and put on a sweater vest.

And the best part is that he’s still like that.

The stories he tells and things he says are completely wild and Jon just says it like it’s nothing. This is especially true if you go by the canon timeline, when half the time the answer is “worms” or “guy with knife hands”.

I just find the concept of Jon being mildly internet famous endlessly amusing. Especially because once Jon found out he’d probably feed into it without even meaning to.

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curb your office romance.

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Coming from someone who did used to write the occasional (Like, two) gerrymichael piece before we knew about the age gap, it’s like…. Okay the timelines are fucky enough that I guess you could fudge it a bit and have another set of Tragic Young Pretty Tumblr White Boys Kissing, but with the timeline knowledge I’m just absolutely on the train of Michael as a Weird Uncle figure to Gerry. 

I mean I don’t trust the Distortion for shit, even when it pretended to be Jon’s friend it was lying and to say it would be nice to Gerry would be an oversimplification. That being said, Michael was specifically nerf’d by the Distortion as it’s face because he was letting too much of Michael Shelley influence it’s actions, so the idea that Michael would just occasionally pop up in Gerry’s life, especially if you take it as Michael being Distorted when Gerry was still relatively young, is quite interesting to me. Could also create a very interesting scenario where, instead of getting nerf’d for trying to save Jon, Michael gets changed over even earlier into someone else because he sees exactly what kind of shit Gertrude is pulling with Gerry, and recognises himself in it, and says “Yeah, that’s not happening again, not to him”.

And on a Michael Shelley level, the dude was literally friends with Eric before Gerry was even born! We don’t have a lot to go on for his personality but I want to fill in the gaps myself and have him as the kind of person who was Absolutely So Excited when he found out that Mary was pregnant. Maybe Eric was a few years older than him and he saw him as a cool older brother figure, who knows. Either way he ends up buying a bunch of gifts and stuff for them when Gerry is born, and I have this very specific image of a young Gerry having One Bear That Is The Favourite Above All Other Toys and that’s the one Michael had gotten for him. Mary doesn’t really indulge in that sort of thing for him herself, but she doesn’t care enough to actively take anything away, so he just kind of keeps it as a source of comfort as he grows up, to the point where he still has it chilling in the corner wherever he’s living when he’s older. 

Honestly I just really want good things for Gerry and the idea of someone, in some little way, looking out for him at once stage of his life or another is Good, and also this can be made appropriately tragic to hurt at the end when the Distortion’s nature inevitably means Michael can’t actually do anything to save him, at least without a severe detriment to himself. 

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The way Gertrude handled the Lonely ritual is still so fucking funny

Some of the staff walk past Elias’ office one day and find him absolutely howling over a completely serious article in the Guardian about studio flats and fostering human connection.

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I refuse to ever let go of the headcanon that Jon has a wild uni past that never got mentioned because it wasn’t relative to his story.

The biggest reason for this is because of that time Jon broke into Gertrudes flat. First off it’s wild that he’s even doing that, and he mentions that he heard sirens before he left.

The police were close enough for Jon hear sirens, and he got away. And presumably didn’t leave any evidence, as this never comes up again. Totally gets away with it.

Which is even crazier when you remember that there was an active murder investigation into the previous owner of the flat. The police would have far more reason to carefully look for evidence than if it was just a regular break and enter. (Though they may have had to get a sectioned officer, so that might have slowed things down)

Daisy and Basira would have brought it up if he’d been caught, because the main suspect breaking into the murdered women’s flat is super suspicious!

All this, and Jon STILL got away with it. What has this man done?!? What has given him these skills!!?

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if the tapes are web does that mean that annabelle has listened to martins poetry...

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pocket edition minecraft during work hours is gay agenda but pocket edition minecraft with the love of your life in a cabin after you’d successfully shot down jomey magma’s attempt at the apocalypse is gayer agenda 

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I know I said I wouldn’t post any more of this til it’s done but I just really wanted to show ya’ll some progress! <3

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oh no jons so clumsy he’s gonna cook too much food all the time til martin lives in the archives