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MORPHEUS IN WIGAN: you think that's gravy you're eating

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Thank you for feeding me you are the true lord to me

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when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

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*hitting ttrpg fan with a stick* not everything fantasy is about D&D!

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Something something vampires have no reflection so he can't even try to see his brother's face anymore when he looks into the mirror

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customer service is cooking my brain, man

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we were lovers lost from the beginning

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Somewhere out there is the worst reviewed maid cafe on earth. And that cafe has a least popular maid.

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Shortly before I entered into adulthood there was a carefree and foolhardy vaporwave summer, followed by a solemn and contemplative nightcore winter.

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Urgent care is a very funny name for it because they do not treat you with any urgency nor do they care

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This is like the inverse of the Breaking Bad meme where Walter is screaming from the car

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an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

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hi here's some vampire yuri

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going on pinterest and commenting “hmm… i find this really.. pinteresting…!” on every single post i see