internet-overdosed - Tumblr blog

[internet-overdosed]

my mom was suicidal and self harmed and now i am those things too its like she transferred them over to me

[internet-overdosed]

[internet-overdosed]

blood tw

hi guys

[internet-overdosed]

IM FUCKING GIGGLING ok so in spring break i had planned out my suicide and actually intended to commit it (i was gonna try to od on my grandpas meds) (i didnt though i got really attached to a friend and i think im platonically inlove with them) and now that i think about it. it took me like 5 minutes to open the safety lock for my vitamin gummies i always forget to take but i gave up so aint no way my impatient ass would’ve been able to open up a pill bote

[internet-overdosed]

actually, now that i think about it, one of the main events that lead up to me hating her was when she just left for a whole week and a half. It was after i was taken out of my middle school cause of some stupid stuff but i’ll write about that again later im still pissed abt it. But i didnt go to school for a long while but then i was put into an online school and we were set to go to start classes in like two weeks. She left during those two weeks and honestly i didnt give a shit. she leaves for days every now and then and i was always glad cause i got to have the room (and bed) to myself (we had to share a room and a bed, still do actually) But after a few days it didnt seem like she wasnt coming back very soon (and she texted me abt finding some place where she could live at and rent?? idk what the fuck happened to THAT plan) so i was like, huh, i should clean up the room since im gonna be alone for a while!

And i decided to clean up all the empty bottles around the place, which ended up being enough to fill an entire big ass trash bag. I got my grandma to help me cause i didnt know where to put it. I was actually genuinely so proud of myself and thought shed be happy that i was helping clean up the place for once.

a few days before she came back she texted me that her plan backfired and that she was coming back the next day and asked if i wanted snacks. I was dry when texting her cause i was a little upset with her, and denied the snacks, obviously. And she got mad at me for being dry and saying no to the snacks so she said she wasnt gonna come home for two more days since i was (i forgot what she said) and i was like. ok what the fuck man. whatever. so i enjoyed those two more days alone but i got worried since ny first day of the new online school was coming up and i didnt know wtf to do (i didnt miss her i just didnt want to miss that first day)

But she came back after two days like she said. She acted mad at me obviously. And when she asked me what happened to all the dirty and empty bottles i happily told her that i cleaned them up, but gave them to my grandma cause i didnt know where to put the bag. but instead of being happy i did some cleaning for once her ass got FUCKING PISSED AT ME??? SHE YELLED AT ME AND THREW SHIT ACORSS RHE ROOM??? and i was like. what the fuck . so i just left the room

later that night i had to go back to sleeo and i was just scrolling on my phone while she was smoking and playing loud overstimulating music on the tv. she turned around and started talking to me and shit and then said something like “im sorry im such a bad mother.” and then whipped out her lighter and said “burn me with it, i deserve it.” and my ass was so. FLABBERGASTED?? i just quietly said “what the fuck.” (on contrary to popular belief, i dont actually curse around my family) and she just laughed at me. she went back to doing her own thing on her phone and i just sat there and hugged my legs processing wtf THAT was. She also said other weird concerning things bur played it off as a joke after i got confused

anyways i hate her ass ;-;

Guess i know where i got all my mental health issues now thanks mom 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[internet-overdosed]

I dont even know what big event started this big hatred of her. Maybe it was just the little things that piled up over time, but i dont really care now. Shes immature as hell sometimes and it angers me so much but thats so hypocritical of me

Guess i know where i got all my mental health issues now thanks mom 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[internet-overdosed]

I know shes genuinely been struggling, that shes dealt with suicidal thoughts and self harm. And i know she does genuinely love and care about me. Its been so tough for her, and shes been so strong and resilient. Shes still here and shes still trying her best to be a good mom. But man i FUCKING HATE HER AND HOPE SHE DIES EVERY TIME SHES HOME MY DAY GETS 2000% WORSE AND EVERY TIME SHE OPENS HER GODDAMN MOUTH I WANT TO STRANGLE HER GODDDDD. Ik i keep saying this but, her own person, i respect her. But as my MOTHER I HATE HER FUCKING GUTS

Guess i know where i got all my mental health issues now thanks mom 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[internet-overdosed]

Finding a new blorbo like:

[internet-overdosed]

[internet-overdosed]

“ur suicidal? why” it all started when i was born

[internet-overdosed]

Please stay mindful when you’re with people from your past who try to pull you back into your former self, your old ways, and things you no longer resonate with. You’ve grown. Don’t go there. Stay with the upgraded you. Stay true to your growth. It may be hard at times but you can do it.

[internet-overdosed]

Im liked, but im not loved

[internet-overdosed]

artist tips

don’t save as jpeg

[internet-overdosed]

im gonna regret killing nysefl so much when it happens cause i love pookie SOOO much

[internet-overdosed]

[internet-overdosed]

Free resource for artists and designers!!

I made a website where artists and designers can get color palette inspo from fire hydrants I've 3D scanned all over the US

Some of my favorites:

There are about 100 hydrants so far and I'm continuing to add more all the time

Public infrastructure is sexy, baby!!!!!! Pass it on!!

dayroselane.com/hydrants

[internet-overdosed]

i know i keep saying im gonna end it all on august 21 but will i really? will i? i never keep my promises snd im scared of death