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i am on art fight. Yay

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And this is just stuff that's on my mind, but Johnny's relationship with his race could be explored a little. Sometimes it frustrates me when I read that Vasquez gets annoyed that people call him pale, and asks the reader if he even looks like someone who is pale, but the thing is... all official stuff of Johnny that is colored could reasonably pass as white, and this comes across to me as Vasquez intending for Johnny to visibly not be white, yet failing to execute this properly... which is why I appreciate whenever I see fanartists draw him with a darker tone

Anyway, my point here was initially going to be about how Johnny most likely isn't connected to his heritage at all, and considers himself someone who "happens to be Mexican" rather than a Mexican—he's too dissociated to even factor in his race, but I like to imagine that there would be times where it catches him off guard, like maybe he'd eat some Mexican dish and suddenly it reminds of something—home, ostensibly, but his memory fails him and he can't be too sure—all he knows is that it's familiar.

I've also played around with what his relationship with language and bilingualism would be like, I personally believe that he has on multiple occasions forgotten that he knows Spanish, and will overhear conversations and go, Huh. Right. I can understand what they're saying. as a result of that aforementioned dissociation. It's not like he doesn't know he knows Spanish, it's just something he gets reminded of. I also don't think he is particularly fluent, but understands it just fine—he's probably better at listening and speaking (and can hold a conversation if suddenly thrown into one) than he is reading and especially writing.

Another thing I wanted to bring up is the idea of Johnny rejecting his race, not because of super internalized racism (although it does play a slight role into this kind of behavior), but because he's the type of person to be like "race wars are stupid, we all suck" and hate the kind of people who "use race as a shield" because they are oppressed—kind of in this "anti-woke" mindset (despite literally being the guy in the pic) when he's really just mad at the idea of anyone finding community in anything. He is so isolated that he can't fathom why people of color would want to do this and build community because he thinks everyone ever sucks and is against him one way or another. (Kind of like how I don't think Johnny is particularly cis, but would absolutely hate being called trans and/or nonbinary, and would hate the kind of queer person who "makes it their personality.") I can't tell if this last part here makes sense but let me know what you guys think, this isn't a topic I really see talked about.

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I definitely missed this tweet when looking around! TIL I probably know more Spanish than Johnny C. Neat. Then yeah, he is totally not fluent at all, and definitely has embarrassed himself when people assume he speaks Spanish—he's probably gotten angry at this, and would say something about how this person made this assumption just because of the way he looks (and we all know how he gets when people do that about him to any degree), and could get all hoity-toity and end up killing them—whether it be a racist who spoke bad Spanish because the assumption was he couldn't speak English, or it being a Spanish-speaking individual who simply asked him something.

Always fun to think about! Because I can definitely imagine him being able to get mad at anyone for anything, since it usually comes from him making up excuses to kill them because he's so convinced everyone ever is against him.

And this is just stuff that's on my mind, but Johnny's relationship with his race could be explored a little. Sometimes it frustrates me when I read that Vasquez gets annoyed that people call him pale, and asks the reader if he even looks like someone who is pale, but the thing is... all official stuff of Johnny that is colored could reasonably pass as white, and this comes across to me as Vasquez intending for Johnny to visibly not be white, yet failing to execute this properly... which is why I appreciate whenever I see fanartists draw him with a darker tone

Anyway, my point here was initially going to be about how Johnny most likely isn't connected to his heritage at all, and considers himself someone who "happens to be Mexican" rather than a Mexican—he's too dissociated to even factor in his race, but I like to imagine that there would be times where it catches him off guard, like maybe he'd eat some Mexican dish and suddenly it reminds of something—home, ostensibly, but his memory fails him and he can't be too sure—all he knows is that it's familiar.

I've also played around with what his relationship with language and bilingualism would be like, I personally believe that he has on multiple occasions forgotten that he knows Spanish, and will overhear conversations and go, Huh. Right. I can understand what they're saying. as a result of that aforementioned dissociation. It's not like he doesn't know he knows Spanish, it's just something he gets reminded of. I also don't think he is particularly fluent, but understands it just fine—he's probably better at listening and speaking (and can hold a conversation if suddenly thrown into one) than he is reading and especially writing.

Another thing I wanted to bring up is the idea of Johnny rejecting his race, not because of super internalized racism (although it does play a slight role into this kind of behavior), but because he's the type of person to be like "race wars are stupid, we all suck" and hate the kind of people who "use race as a shield" because they are oppressed—kind of in this "anti-woke" mindset (despite literally being the guy in the pic) when he's really just mad at the idea of anyone finding community in anything. He is so isolated that he can't fathom why people of color would want to do this and build community because he thinks everyone ever sucks and is against him one way or another. (Kind of like how I don't think Johnny is particularly cis, but would absolutely hate being called trans and/or nonbinary, and would hate the kind of queer person who "makes it their personality.") I can't tell if this last part here makes sense but let me know what you guys think, this isn't a topic I really see talked about.

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And this is just stuff that's on my mind, but Johnny's relationship with his race could be explored a little. Sometimes it frustrates me when I read that Vasquez gets annoyed that people call him pale, and asks the reader if he even looks like someone who is pale, but the thing is... all official stuff of Johnny that is colored could reasonably pass as white, and this comes across to me as Vasquez intending for Johnny to visibly not be white, yet failing to execute this properly... which is why I appreciate whenever I see fanartists draw him with a darker tone

Anyway, my point here was initially going to be about how Johnny most likely isn't connected to his heritage at all, and considers himself someone who "happens to be Mexican" rather than a Mexican—he's too dissociated to even factor in his race, but I like to imagine that there would be times where it catches him off guard, like maybe he'd eat some Mexican dish and suddenly it reminds of something—home, ostensibly, but his memory fails him and he can't be too sure—all he knows is that it's familiar.

I've also played around with what his relationship with language and bilingualism would be like, I personally believe that he has on multiple occasions forgotten that he knows Spanish, and will overhear conversations and go, Huh. Right. I can understand what they're saying. as a result of that aforementioned dissociation. It's not like he doesn't know he knows Spanish, it's just something he gets reminded of. I also don't think he is particularly fluent, but understands it just fine—he's probably better at listening and speaking (and can hold a conversation if suddenly thrown into one) than he is reading and especially writing.

Another thing I wanted to bring up is the idea of Johnny rejecting his race, not because of super internalized racism (although it does play a slight role into this kind of behavior), but because he's the type of person to be like "race wars are stupid, we all suck" and hate the kind of people who "use race as a shield" because they are oppressed—kind of in this "anti-woke" mindset (despite literally being the guy in the pic) when he's really just mad at the idea of anyone finding community in anything. He is so isolated that he can't fathom why people of color would want to do this and build community because he thinks everyone ever sucks and is against him one way or another. (Kind of like how I don't think Johnny is particularly cis, but would absolutely hate being called trans and/or nonbinary, and would hate the kind of queer person who "makes it their personality.") I can't tell if this last part here makes sense but let me know what you guys think, this isn't a topic I really see talked about.

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get down, on the ground

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I have a lot of thoughts regarding Johnny in particular, but I think right now I wanna talk about his gender and sexuality in particular. I think Johnny considers himself cishet because that's just what he's used to, but his schizophrenia and depersonalization definitely get in the way of how he perceives his masculinity. Like, if someone were to call him a man, he'd feel weird for a second but not know why. I feel like he would rock with it/its but he has to trust you for it, otherwise if anyone were to call him "it" that is pretty much asking to be stabbed to death. He's nonbinary, essentially, he just is too caught up trying to paint his wall to think about it.

When it comes to his sexuality, I do think that he is straight. My bad. I just can't see him being into guys that way, but to be fair I think he has trouble processing his attraction towards anyone. I do think he has desire and does and has gotten aroused, but he doesn't know why or maybe refuses to accept that he has—it's such a human response and it makes him sick, but suddenly he's thinking about fucking and doesn't know how to react, so maybe he goes and kills somebody about it.

That isn't to say that he often gets aroused by killing people, but I do think that there have been times where he has conflated the sensations, which disgusts him. He would consider himself an especially sick person if he was doing this as a fetish, that's not what he's doing at all, it's just... very easy to get lost sometimes.

I do not think he is completely devoid of wanting to have sex, he is just averse to it and shoves it all the way down there. I do not think he would particularly care who he is fucking, so if he were to fuck, a guy or two could slip in there, but when it comes to a partner, he likes and wants a woman. I would love to discuss this with others, lmk what you personally think about him/my thoughts

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& some other first attempts at drawing nny below

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I don't have any money anymore so I'd appreciate it if anyone bought from me :')

Hey there! Could really use the extra cash & my comms are open pretty much always. I can do comics, sketch pages, I'm pretty good with character interaction & selfshippers are always welcome! Feel free to DM whenever if interested. I take Zelle, Cashapp, Venmo, & Paypal!

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The BORDERL[LINE] ZINE IS LIVE

Hi everyone! It has been a long time coming, but we are live on ITCH, the zine is a 100 page love letter to the characters and we hope that the rest of the community enjoys the booklet, as well as the coloring pages and wallpapers in the Freebie bundle. Yes this is a free zine and please as always, support the artists that worked on this project! Download here: https://borderlandszine.itch.io/borderline-zine

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my piece for the @borderlandszine!

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eyeah

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the nincherrrrr

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tent razor

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doodle dump