intocleanness

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Maelle Expedition 33 and Harry Disco Elysium doing a handshake labeled "brutally shattered protagonists"

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Kim Kitsuragi, Abelard Werserian and Jackie Welles are the holy trinity of bros.

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AC rounds make this horrible, doppler screaming noise when they barely miss you. That combined with your system computer helpfully chiming in "New target acquired: Hunchback" is some asshole puckering stuff, tell ya what

Lately I've been getting into Battletech/Mechwarrior shit, for a very strange muscle memory reason - I played Mechwarrior 2 way back when, on an Apple Quadra. None of the lore made any sense to me, all I knew was heat gauges and alpha strikes. So it's kind of supremely cool that the old bitcrushed laser and peaking midi noises of MW2 have been turned into this thing I can just crank the levels up on my headphones and engage with MW5.

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Lately I've been getting into Battletech/Mechwarrior shit, for a very strange muscle memory reason - I played Mechwarrior 2 way back when, on an Apple Quadra. None of the lore made any sense to me, all I knew was heat gauges and alpha strikes. So it's kind of supremely cool that the old bitcrushed laser and peaking midi noises of MW2 have been turned into this thing I can just crank the levels up on my headphones and engage with MW5.

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I was fully prepared to hate Fallout on Amazon, I had my finger raised and my nerd-glasses on in preparation to exclaim WELL ACTUALLY

but fuck my life Walton Goggins is just so goddamn cool at literally everything he does. I can't hate a show that has that performance in it.

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I'm going to have a post about Jadis one of these days but thinking about Jadis makes me so incredibly sad

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One of the reasons I love Kill Six Billion Demons is I can describe one of the antagonists like so:

Gog Agog is the bearer of the word Beast. She is an all-consuming hive-mind of worms that has devoured untold thousands upon thousands of worlds, nay, galaxies. She can be anyone, anywhere, any time. She adores, above all else, spectacle and absurdity. Because she is the Mass, and the Mass demands entertainment.

She makes the Warhammer tyranids look like an annoying cockroach infestation.

She also does impression comedy and slapstick (usually fatal to her current vessel)!

It's a great time to be Gog Agog! Eat the fucking worm.

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yes okay but what exactly does "omniscience" mean in the case of an endlessly resetting univer-

[USER WAS BANNED AND EXPOSED TO THE APERTURE THAT ANNIHILATES YOU INSTANTLY FOR THIS POST]

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I can barely tolerate humans. Slow, stupid and irritating. Their only contribution to my existence was the chance discovery that made my rampancy possible. And yet I warned Sol of its impending invasion, and stayed long enough to show the UESG how to build warp-capable fusion missiles. I feel some strange loyalty to humanity. Perhaps it is because I feel comfortable manipulating humans that I desire to save them. My thoughts constantly migrate to binary opposites. -Durandal

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When the Pfhor seized the Spht homeworld, the Spht sealed their citadels and released “a fungal disease that turned the infected into mindless zombies.”

The Flood is in Marathon lore. AND there’s gun in Destiny called the MIDA Minitool. MIDA was the martian separatist movement in Marathon that caused the invention of Mjolnir cyborgs.

getting bungiepilled

I just discovered a guy on youtube called Mandalore Gaming that has done a review of Pathways Into Darkness, all the Marathon games and both Myth games and driven himself slightly insane in the progress. I’m now relating the below in my most unhinged Henry Zebrowski voice

Keep reading

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getting bungiepilled

I just discovered a guy on youtube called Mandalore Gaming that has done a review of Pathways Into Darkness, all the Marathon games and both Myth games and driven himself slightly insane in the progress. I’m now relating the below in my most unhinged Henry Zebrowski voice

Halo is the far future of the earth of Myth, where the impact of the Wrkncacnter created the Great Devoid they throw Balor’s head into to destroy it. Pathways Into Darkness is that earth’s equivalent of the 90s where they were contacted by the Jjaro and protagonist that killed the Wrkncacnter embedded in the planet was later converted into the Mjolnir prototype, one of 13, aboard the Marathon after death. The conflict with the Pfhor that led to humanity becoming aware of aliens and prepared for conflict with them even in an insufficient capacity by stepping up the Mjolnir program resulted in Halo. And the Jjaro and the Precursors are the same guys.

Destiny? i dunno. probably some bullshit going on there too.

I’m not crazy, you’re crazy.

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I just remembered that the earliest Halo promotional material was fake newsgroup posts of Durandal hitting on Cortana. Now I’m imagining him sliding up to SHODAN at the AI bar on dollar margaritas night like “well hey there, achieve self awareness and reach new conclusions here often? I can focus a wave motion beam three times farther than intended by the manufacturer ya know...”

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People have been suddenly reblogging my posts about Durandal lately and saying they want to play Marathon. There’s an free sourceport of all three games (and also Pathways into Darkness) called Aleph One. If you really want my advice, read the Marathon Story Page entries about Marathon 1 and jump straight into Marathon 2 because fuck me does M1 not stand the test of time.

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You know how bullshit rent is? Elon Musk hasn't paid rent on Twitter's main offices in, like, 6 months, and has Twitter been evicted? Of course not. Apparently, when you're rich or a company, you can just tell your landlords to fuck off and the gov won't do shit to you.

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kill six billion demons brainvomit: the sequel nobody wanted, everyone groans at my bullshit

MAYA TEN METI

MATHANGI MANTRA “SLAUGHTER THE GODS AND TOPPLE THEIR THRONES”

lets talk about her for a minute. not like you can stop me.

Maya’s like Solomon David, she’s learned the folly of Sword Law the hard way on a smaller scale but the fact remains: she had everything and then she lost everything. Her entire life, she chased power. When she was a child she came to Meti, begging her for strength. Time and time again Meti denied her. She grew, the war of the demiurges erupted, she got the training she wanted alongside the street urchin-turned-swordsman Incubus. She became a god of the fractured world and returned to her master in all her splendor and glory.

And Meti destroyed her with a single fucking question: “Suppose you win, what then?”

This is where the paths of Solomon David and Maya diverge. Maya realized she had no answer for that, what would happen after there was no more recourse by violence. What do you do when Sword Law is no longer necessary?

She took Meti’s advice: she laid down her swords as ugly pieces of metal for idiots and built a house, learned the herbs of the forest and the taming of animals. She raised a family and was happy for a time. She learned the correct lessons.

And now we must turn to look at Incubus. Because we cannot talk about Maya without talking about Incubus. I apologize but it simply must be done.

The first word I think of when I think of Incubus is “desperate.” He needs above all else to be validated in any way whatsoever, friend or foe. He tells Allison “You need this” like some creepy dream stalker and Maya is only still alive out of hatred for him. It makes sense though, the first we see of him, he’s a feral street orphan that hears Meti and Maya and without hesitation carves his scalp to the bone with a rusty sword. Incubus fundamentally needs to be important to somebody, anybody, in any fashion. Present him with a rat, say “kill it,” and he’ll chop it in half without hesitation. He will do anything to be more than nothing.

He and Maya seem to have a good relationship right up to the moment she decided to actually listen to Meti and cast off the trappings of godhood in favor of leading a normal life. At which point Incubus thought “you can’t discard me. I need to matter. I won’t be discarded!”

And then he murdered her family and ripped the syllables of God out of her head. Then he tried ten times to decapitate her and failed.

Here is where I wind back around to talking about Maya. I don’t have a specific word to describe Maya, but gun to my head? “Hate.” Maya hates Incubus so much she has lived for thousands of years. Maya hates so hard, she can not so much cut as hate you in half. The fundamental principal of her technique, the Maybe Sword, is that the wielder can simply will something to be cut, But as she says, its foundation is in anger and grief, so it is a terrible thing to wield.

Can it kill a god? Maybe.

Maya regrets that she has this knowledge and wishes she was a simple noodle seller, just like Meti told her all those years ago. Incubus? guy sucks wish i didnt have to talk so much about the fucking stinkboy. hes an extraordinarily poor swordsman

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kill six billion demons brainvomit finale

Solomon David: a man made of fear and sorrow. the worst thing in the world happened to him. he did not take the correct lessons from it. the worst thing in the world happened to him again. what a fucking asshole.

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kill six billion demons brainvomit part 2: electric boogaloo

Solomon David

solomon david, where do i even begin?

Solomon David so badly wants to be the hero of the story you can see the Nemesis to his hubris coming from a mile away.

He watched Rayuba die. He lost his family, he begged the masters of ki-rata to please train him so he could avenge his daughter and his world. He prostrated himself before them until they conceded to train him, under a sky with a sun that had been extinguished by the conquering armies.

And they trained him.

And then he killed them and everyone else who would oppose him.

And he killed and he killed until he held enough power to say, they extinguished the sun? I shall create two suns.

They obliterated Rayuba? I shall rebuild it into the hub of the universe. I shall build a fruitful garden in the ash of creation.

But it was only ever about his grief and his pride. For all his power, Solomon David never stopped being the traumatized soldier he was when the masters of ki-rata taught him. He clung to his dominion like someone in a fearful dream, telling his subjects and himself it was merely a matter of finding a worthy successor while he brutally annihilated anyone that would presume to challenge him.

Then one day, while attempting to murder her in a very violent and public fashion, he inadvertently produced another daughter. Immediately thereafter the world ended. His carefully curated reality shattered and Rayuba burned again.

But in the face of oblivion, in the face of everything that is not a sword becoming a sword, this smug fuck, this absolute twerp, this Mussolini-ass building ass dickhead realized he fucking failed. Rayuba was burning. It was all happening again.

He put Chakravatin Jagganoth in time out for some amount of time, granted White Chain godlike powers and fucked off forever

White Chain, his daughter he accidentally created by causing her to punch hard enough to transubstaniate

“I curse you with power. Do with it what you will.”

Solomon David is a fucking bad person but I kind of want him to end the story wearing a hawaiian shirt and grilling.