introvertedmessofthings-blog

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

i’m very small and have no money so you can imagine the kind of stress that i’m under right now

this title pretty much sums up the situation i’m in right now. so hey guys ! let’s take a break in me posting shitty edits that no one asked for and gets serious for a sec, a’right? i don’t talk about it much bc i like to cover everything with humor and sarcasm, but things have been rough for me and my family lately. it’s been rough for a while, since my father passed away a few years ago. 

my mother’s been struggling financially, the little money she makes, she uses to pay debts and shit. she’s also sick and the stress of trying to figure out how we’re going to keep our house, our proprieties is making her sicker. i try to help as much as i can, but i’m out of a job at the moment and won’t get any money until the end of the month, at the very least. so i made this paypal account - my goal is to reach 5000 euros. i know it’s a lot, but we desperatly need it. give what you can and if you can’t, please share this !! i’ll love you forever. i’ll link my ko-fi and make a post about it, so…yeah. i think that’s it ! 

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

charlotte and henry acting like an old married couple without even trying

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

“It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; you just wake up one morning and you’re not as upset anymore.”

— Ten words story: may 2015 hold that morning for you. (via maisjetaime)

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

i’m very small and have no money so you can imagine the kind of stress that i’m under right now

this title pretty much sums up the situation i’m in right now. so hey guys ! let’s take a break in me posting shitty edits that no one asked for and gets serious for a sec, a’right? i don’t talk about it much bc i like to cover everything with humor and sarcasm, but things have been rough for me and my family lately. it’s been rough for a while, since my father passed away a few years ago. 

my mother’s been struggling financially, the little money she makes, she uses to pay debts and shit. she’s also sick and the stress of trying to figure out how we’re going to keep our house, our proprieties is making her sicker. i try to help as much as i can, but i’m out of a job at the moment and won’t get any money until the end of the month, at the very least. so i made this paypal account - my goal is to reach 5000 euros. i know it’s a lot, but we desperatly need it. give what you can and if you can’t, please share this !! i’ll love you forever. i’ll link my ko-fi and make a post about it, so…yeah. i think that’s it ! 

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

If the writers keep teasing Chenry but don’t make it endgame I will come to their houses and break all of their kitchenware

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

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Bonus: 

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[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

this is very true I loved every single one of these

oh my god Set it Up, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, and Candy Jar is the slow burn/fake dating/enemies to lovers golden trio 2018 needed, thank you netflix gods

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

OKAY BUT THE ACTUAL OFFICIAL NICKELODEON INSTAGRAM FORREAL UPLOADED THIS AND IM YELLING OMFG SOMEONE SEND HELP

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

In 2019:

- do more things that make you forget about your phone

- do not compare yourself to other people: trust that you are progressing in your own way

- keep your heart soft, remember that there are genuinely kind people & good things in the world

- finish what you start

- be consistent, and do not be swayed by temporary moods or criticisms from people who don’t matter.

- smile more often

- be okay with being bad at something

- do not blame yourself for people who make you feel unworthy. find new people to talk to and don’t isolate yourself even if you feel awkward or unlovable. don’t convince yourself that you’re better off alone.

- go outside more often and find beauty in small things

- read more books

- be the kindest person you can be

- be so busy you have no time to be bored or dwell on the past

- learn to be patient. don’t rely on instant gratification, wait for the sense of accomplishment after completing a daily goal or achieving a long-term goal

- see bad days as a chance to start again

- always remember that negative thoughts are not the truth. you can do amazing things even though you may feel stupid. you are worthy of love and self care even though you may hate yourself. you deserve kindness and friendship and unconditional love even though you don’t feel that way. people don’t hate you even though you think you’re unlovable. you made mistakes and had bad times but that’s ok - you can always start again.

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

resolutions

I like to break the mold of traditional resolutions, and name an intent for the year. 2018 was “kind.”

why not great? I’m saving it for 2020, because that’s an election year.

feeling good enough

thinking good thoughts

doing good deeds

making good actions

all through the year, I want 2019 to be filled with goodness from me to others, but also from me to myself.

2019 is going to be the year of self-care.

I might hit the gym even!

but it’s more about mental self-care, through the daily stresses and things that get me down.

2019 is going to be a huge year, and I can’t wait to live it with you.

I’m so glad we can all share this year together.

it’s going to be good.

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

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Happy New Year, may it bring you nothing but joy!

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

find me in the corner sobbing to death

[introvertedmessofthings-blog]

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl